Advice for a friend- TW- pregnancy mentioned

MrsDrKirkpatrick · July 2016

Hi ladies!
(I hope I got all the prefix type warnings right do I don't catch anyone off guard)
I have a question that I would like some advice on. Also, if I should redirect this question to another board, please let me know!
I am currently 9 weeks along with my first baby. One of my very good friends has been told she won't be able to have children, although I can't remember exactly what her diagnosis is. When my DH and I began trying I told her about it and she was excited and supportive. Although most of the time when it would come up in conversations she would mention that she was sad, and wonders if she will be able to have babies etc. I've tried my best to be supportive, and tell her I think one day she will be a mom, and a great one at that.
So when my DH and I got pregnant, I told her, and I had mentioned that I bought a chalkboard to take weekly belly pictures with. She said she wants me to send them to her, so for the last two weeks I have.
My actual question is, how would you like this approached on the other end? The last time I sent her my picture, she seemed ok, but a little sad. The last thing I want to do is add to her pain, but I also don't know if she would directly tell me it's hurting her. I know you guys can't speak specifically for her, but I also think some insight from her point of view would be helpful in my approach.
Thank you ladies in advance!

Worldtravler0522 · July 2016

I would just have an honest conversation with her and just tell her you want to involve her as little or as much as she is comfortable with. Also tell her it's ok to tell you to stop if she feels like it's too much. Also try not to take it personal if she turns off at some points. It is likely not you and just the situation.

I know personally I have friends TTC and sometimes talking about it with them doesn't phase me and other days it's very difficult. I would also suggest getting a read on where she's at emotionally or mentally before you just share. Hope that helps.

hoffmanr7 · July 2016

I would agree with @Worldtravler0522. Her post was spot on what I would say. I think for most of us, our journey is a bit of a roller coaster with ups and downs which will determine how well we cope with other people's pregnancies. Just letting her know that you understand if she needs to take a step back from it if she needs it I think will help a lot.

I also want to commend you. I think that your coming here to ask for advice about this matter is very considerate and says a lot about your friendship. You obviously want to be supportive and asking for advice I think shows a sense of awareness and caring that I find just plain great.

MrsDrKirkpatrick · July 2016

That does help! Thank you very much, I appreciate it!

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