When will you tell your boss? — The Bump
March 2017 Moms

When will you tell your boss?

kap1988kap1988
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edited July 2016 in March 2017 Moms
I'm curious when everyone is planing to announce to their employer.  I am a paralegal at a very small law firm (only 2 attorneys and I'm the only full time staff member) and we are all very close.  My husband is anxious for me to talk to my boss about what we can work out for maternity leave.  We are too small for even FMLA to cover us, but my boss is very generous and I'm optimistic about what he will offer.  I am thinking of waiting a week or so until I'm 8 weeks.  Also, how will you guys go about telling? I'm thinking of asking my boss and the office manager (his daughter) if I can meet with them.  For some reason I'm really nervous about it even though I have no reason to be.  My boss has six daughters all of them have kids and almost all of them work full time (a couple are engineers, one is his office manager, etc.) so I think he will be really understanding.  I just don't know about when and how to tell... 

Me 28 DH 28 Married 2012

TTC #1 since March 2015

Metformin + Femara + Gonal F + Trigger = BFP 6/24/16 

EDD 3/3/17

Found out it's a girl! 9/23/16

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Re: When will you tell your boss?

  • I'm not going to talk to my boss until after I get back from vacation in August. My daughter is a skater and will be competing in nationals in Nebraska so we're doing a long road trip. (Talked to my doctor & I'm all clear to drive that long). I'll talk to my boss when I get back since we're doing the dating US the Friday after we return. I already talked to HR since we're heading into open enrollment and benefits will be changing but she has promised to not say anything. My boss will not be too pleased but she'll have to deal.

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    kap1988
  • @knottie58682751 I hope your boss treats you well.  That's upsetting that employers can't just be supportive.  We don't really have HR, just the office manager.  My other thought was talking to her first and seeing what her thoughts were since this is kind of unprecedented.

    Me 28 DH 28 Married 2012

    TTC #1 since March 2015

    Metformin + Femara + Gonal F + Trigger = BFP 6/24/16 

    EDD 3/3/17

    Found out it's a girl! 9/23/16

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  • Not until I start showing and she asks lol
    kap1988LoboandSuperNinja
  • My boss already knows...I had to tell her when I had the ectopic since I was out due to surgery for a week, and with all my doctors appointments I felt it was right for her to know. I have a great boss and she's a firm believer of taking care of yourself first, so I felt comfortable letting her in on the secret. I won't tell my coworkers until 12 weeks or so.
    Me (37) Hubby (39) Married since 4.2009
    EP:  2.17.2016
    DS:  3.4.2017

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    kap1988kami6887
  • I plan on telling mine sometime in August (around 8 or 9 weeks). Because I am high risk and diabetic I will have to go in for lots of appointments between the OB and my endo. I am an optometrist so I will have to block off my schedule so they don't schedule me patients. I'm sure they are going to start wondering really soon why I am blocking off so much. I'm kind of worried to tell them. We currently have 2 girls that just left on maternity leave, 1 that is due August 1, and another that just announced she is due in January. So I'm sure they aren't going to want to hear that one of the doctors is going to be due too! 
    Me: 32 DH: 33
    Type 1 Diabetic
    DS: Born 2/18/17
    TTC #2: Jan. 2018 BFP: 3/27/18 EDD: 12/6/18

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    kap1988
  • I have to go in for professional development in early August. I'm going to unofficially tell them then - won't put anything in writing until September or even October b
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    kap1988
  • 8 weeks which is next week. I work in health care and there are a lot of occupational hazards 
    kap1988jlotero
  • hippiemama-2hippiemama-2
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    edited July 2016
    I'm hoping to wait until at least 12 weeks. Luckily, I'm HR so I live and breathe our policies and procedural information. Unluckily, my boss is one of those jaded "I came back to work four minutes after my baby was born" old schoolers. Soo I'm kind of dreading it.

    edt: spelling


    kap1988wintersong
  • @hippiemama Any advice for negotiating when your company doesn't really have a policy?

    Me 28 DH 28 Married 2012

    TTC #1 since March 2015

    Metformin + Femara + Gonal F + Trigger = BFP 6/24/16 

    EDD 3/3/17

    Found out it's a girl! 9/23/16

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  • I'm planning to tell my boss at about 10 weeks.  I feel like she's already suspicious.  She knows we're trying to start a family.  And when I saw her 3 weeks ago, we popped into a bar and I ordered a lemonade to go with her Jack and Diet (which she gave me side eye for).  Now I have lots of dr. appoints.  I'm pretty sure she knows and is just being nice by not saying anything.  

    We're telling family at 9 weeks, and I'd like to tell them before I tell her.  But she will likely be shortly afterward.  

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    Me: 31+ H: 32
    TTC Since 11/2015
    #1 - MMC 6.5 weeks (2/16); #2 - MC due to cystic hygroma at 20 weeks (10/16); #3 CP (2/17); #4 - Due 12.16.17
    kap1988
  • @Tennis11785 I think the women in my office probably suspect but my boss is way oblivious. I don't know how people can manage to hide it until they show. I'm just not that sly.

    Me 28 DH 28 Married 2012

    TTC #1 since March 2015

    Metformin + Femara + Gonal F + Trigger = BFP 6/24/16 

    EDD 3/3/17

    Found out it's a girl! 9/23/16

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    JustAnotherUsername16
  • I've told my direct superiors already as we are short-staffed and the probationary training period is between 3-5 months. This way they have time to hire and train some new nurses prior to my leave.
    kap1988PattersRNLizer514jlotero
  • I'm hoping to wait until at least 12 weeks. Luckily, I'm HR so I live and breath our policies and procedural information. Unluckily, my boss is one of those jaded "I came back to work four minutes after my baby was born" old schoolers. Soo I'm kind of dreading it.
    My female administrator has a similar attitude but with the added annoyance that she doesn't have kids. :neutral: 

    I will tell my boss in September once the new Scholl year is off and running. I'm a teacher. They will need to hire a long term sub for second semester for me. They won't like it because I was out for an entire semester in 2015 when my son was born and I will be this year again too (almost). Too bad for them: the county I work in allows unlimited numbers of (unpaid) leave of absences to care for new babies. :smile:
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    dubcompanionkap1988hippiemama-2
  • kap1988 said:
    @hippiemama Any advice for negotiating when your company doesn't really have a policy?
    I would say come to the table with a proposal of how you can be covered while you are gone and what you want. 
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    kap1988Scarlett830hippiemama-2
  • I'm a teacher and will tell the principal when the school year starts in August. I'm going take the entire day off to go to OB appointments, so he has a right to know why I'm out on those days. My dreaded 12-week appointment* is the second week of school, so that's also why it's good to give him a head's up. We do have a new superintendent this year, but meh. If all-day doctor appointments once a month are an issue for him, I won't hesitate to have words with him in a civil manner. But I'll save my spiritedness for my angsty middle school students for now. :wink:

    *TW-
    My MMC was discovered at the 12-week appointment, so I'm going to be a distracted, hot mess the first month of the new school year. Another good reason to let the principal know ASAP... 

    *****TW*****

    Me: 32      DH: 32
    Married: 11/19/11
    TTC 3/15
    BFP #1: 10/15, MMC 12/15 (10.5 weeks)
    BFP #2: 7/16, DD born 3/2/17 at 38 weeks <3
    BFP #3: 4/18, DS born 12/11/18 at 36 weeks <3
    wintersongkap1988
  • @dubcompanion I'm sorry for your loss. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts.

    Me 28 DH 28 Married 2012

    TTC #1 since March 2015

    Metformin + Femara + Gonal F + Trigger = BFP 6/24/16 

    EDD 3/3/17

    Found out it's a girl! 9/23/16

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • I'm considering telling my boss, our operations manager and the PA I work with soon.  The rest of the staff, not until 12 weeks.  My nausea has been so bad that I'm afraid I might be "acting weird" to them if they don't know what's going on.  I know they'll all be understanding, my boss has 4 kids and is very family oriented, the PA also has 4 kids.  I'm lucky I have a job with a lot of flexibility. 
    Married: 7/9/15
    Me: 37, DH: 36
    Started TTC #1: 9/2015
    Preliminary labs/testing @ 6 months: TSH, A1c, progesterone, prolactin, SA, HSG all normal
    BFP: 5/19/2016, M/C: 5/29/2016
    BFP: 6/22/2016  EDD 3//6/2017

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    wintersongkap1988
  • @kap1988 Thank you. :smile: I should have added that it was my previous pregnancy that resulted in a MMC at the 12 week appt... I'm a distracted hot mess already, gah.

    *****TW*****

    Me: 32      DH: 32
    Married: 11/19/11
    TTC 3/15
    BFP #1: 10/15, MMC 12/15 (10.5 weeks)
    BFP #2: 7/16, DD born 3/2/17 at 38 weeks <3
    BFP #3: 4/18, DS born 12/11/18 at 36 weeks <3
  • chrlyrchrlyr
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    I'm hoping to keep it under wraps until after my first appointment on 8/15 (I can't believe it's so far away); however, we usually go for a beer at least once per week. I'm not even sure I'll make it out of next week without having to spill. My nosy assistant already asked my office mate if I'm pregnant because I didn't drink at lunch yesterday.  
    DS 12.02.11

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    kap1988
  • I hardly see my boss so I'm hoping to make it to 12 weeks or more
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    kap1988
  • @dubcompanion I knew what you meant :) I'll be crossing my fingers for you until your 12 week ultrasound

    Me 28 DH 28 Married 2012

    TTC #1 since March 2015

    Metformin + Femara + Gonal F + Trigger = BFP 6/24/16 

    EDD 3/3/17

    Found out it's a girl! 9/23/16

    Pregnancy Ticker
    dubcompanion
  • @kap1988 Much appreciated! :blush: FX for an uneventful pregnancy for you as well!

    *****TW*****

    Me: 32      DH: 32
    Married: 11/19/11
    TTC 3/15
    BFP #1: 10/15, MMC 12/15 (10.5 weeks)
    BFP #2: 7/16, DD born 3/2/17 at 38 weeks <3
    BFP #3: 4/18, DS born 12/11/18 at 36 weeks <3
    kap1988
  • @kap1988 Are you not eligible for FMLA? Or are you referring to working out some kind of payment while out on it? Give me some more details, and I'll try to give you some insider info!


    kap1988
  • @hippiemama We aren't big enough for FMLA. But I'm pretty essential so there's no way they wouldn't bring me back after. I'm just wondering what pay is reasonable to ask for when I'm not entitled to anything. I have a few scenarios I'm going to propose. One is work part time from home for 3 or 4 months. Ideally though I'm gonna start with 3 months at full pay and see what they say. There's no harm in asking.

    Me 28 DH 28 Married 2012

    TTC #1 since March 2015

    Metformin + Femara + Gonal F + Trigger = BFP 6/24/16 

    EDD 3/3/17

    Found out it's a girl! 9/23/16

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • My boss already knows...I had to tell her when I had the ectopic since I was out due to surgery for a week, and with all my doctors appointments I felt it was right for her to know. I have a great boss and she's a firm believer of taking care of yourself first, so I felt comfortable letting her in on the secret. I won't tell my coworkers until 12 weeks or so.

    I have a similar situation--I had to tell my boss and project lead when I was on bedrest for a week and then miscarried a couple months ago, and I think I'm going to have some extra dr appointments because of that, so I will probably tell them when I'm 6-8 weeks, instead of waiting til 12 like last time. The cat is out of the bag that we're trying for baby #2, so it won't be a shocker. I work for a large company, so thankfully going on Maternity Leave isn't a huge deal for my team.

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    kap1988
  • BigBadWolf12BigBadWolf12
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    edited July 2016
    Probably sometime in September.  Our school is expanding by a lot this year,  so I'm going to let us get through the first month of lessons without bothering them (because as much as dh and I are excited,  I know it will be a bother for them because we both teach the same subject at the same school and the country we live in has a great parental leave policy ,  so they'll have to replace both of us for at least 1week if not more at the same time. I'm also head of the department this year for the first time andi will be leaving right before the standardized testing.... Oops?

    ETA: except not oops because we have been trying for 8 cycles and i accepted the head position knowing /hoping I would have to leave it early.  FFTC?

    TTGP history (*TW*):

    Started TTC Oct 2015
    BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016
    Re-started TTC Aug 2016
    Started IF testing Nov 2016
    Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017
    BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019


    Scarlett830hippiemama-2kap1988
  • I am still on maternity leave.  I go back to work when I'm 12 weeks.  I'll tell them them!  It's different in canada though
    PattersRNhippiemama-2kap1988
  • I literally started a new job less than a week before I got pregnant. Needless to say I'm a bit nervous about telling them since I'm still new. 

    I think im going to have to tell my boss around week 8, because week 9 is a "hell" week for us with long hours and lots of outdoor heat. (TW) I've already had one previous pregnancy end in a MMC, so I'm much more cautious this time around... I don't want to stress my body out too much so the boss lady should probably know before hand... 

    I hadn't planned on telling anyone else until at least after week 12. 
    mcdonald-baileyScarlett830kap1988BaylieGirl
  • I've already told my boss and 2 co-workers.  We are a very small business and my boss knows that I eventually wanted to start a family.  He's been asking me every couple of weeks when we were going to start trying!  My first pregnancy I was waiting to tell him but it ended in a m/c and I felt like it come out of left field since he had no idea I was pregnant.  Also, I'm not sure if I'll keep working (from home) or just outright quit, but since we are such a small company he needs to know so he can make arrangments for a replacement.
    kap1988
  • khbearkhbear
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    I've told my direct superiors already as we are short-staffed and the probationary training period is between 3-5 months. This way they have time to hire and train some new nurses prior to my leave.
    What specialty do you work in? I'm surprised they are going to hire new people to cover maternity leave! We have had at least one person out on leave for the last solid year and we've never hired to cover it, we just all work extra (killer).
  • Scarlett830Scarlett830
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    edited July 2016
    @khbear I work in home care, and since we service an entire city, there isn't a cap as to how many patients we can accept the way there would be on a hospital floor. We need more nurses on staff anyway, and since the agency has been a bit neglectful as to their hiring process, I figured that informing them of my impending maternity leave well in advance might possibly light a fire under their butts, especially since I have the largest caseload out of all of our nurses. 
    kap1988PattersRN
  • I've told my bosses already because I think they're really great guys and one of them was so excited he dropped what he was holding! I've told most of my coworkers too for the ones that I've been working with for almost a year now. Its a very small business so I feel comfortable telling. Idk what I'm going to do though come fall when I have to apply to "big kid" jobs within my degree.  :/
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    kap1988hippiemama-2
  • khbearkhbear
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    @Scarlett830 - Oh I see. Sounds like they need to be hiring some new staff anyway. Hope it works out!
  • @hippiemama Ugh, those old school martyrs!  TERRIBLE!! What a bummer you have to deal with that.


    Me: 36;  DH: 38
    DD: 7; DS1: 4; DS2 due 6-21-17!
    **TW**
    MMC & D&C Aug 2016
    hippiemama-2
  • I am hoping to hold out until 12 weeks but with this being #3, I am really worried it might be a little too obvious by then. So I will wait until after I see the doctor, for sure, but then I will tell before 12 weeks if I feel like it is the elephant in the room!


    Me: 36;  DH: 38
    DD: 7; DS1: 4; DS2 due 6-21-17!
    **TW**
    MMC & D&C Aug 2016
    kap1988hippiemama-2
  • I just started a new job two months ago so I have a feeling my boss isn't going to be thrilled. Even though she is a mother herself she is kind of the least supportive person ever. I definitely don't plan on staying after maternity leave because I can't stand her, but I am torn between telling her at eight weeks so maybe she will back off a little or waiting until 12. My old boss who I was super close with knew for both my other pregnancies at eight weeks after the ultrasound.

    kap1988
  • chrlyrchrlyr
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    My boss and two of my co-workers know. We're a small enough office that nothing stays a secret for very long. I wanted him to hear it from me before the rumor mill starts up in earnest. 
    DS 12.02.11

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  • I told my manager today. I am suffering pretty bad with symptoms, so I figure her knowing will be helpful when it comes to dealing with that. 


    kap1988
  • I've told my immediate supervisor already. I work at a small company and they unfortunately don't offer paid maternity leave anymore since one woman quit the day after she came back from maternity leave. So my supervisor is being really great and we are trying to work on putting together a plan. I'm a one woman show - working on implementing software, working in accounting, supporting IT, and working as financial manager for a second company my boss just started this year. I'm hoping to announce my pregnancy to my boss after my first prenatal appointment on the 28th. I want to have a plan in place before I talk to him about it because they won't be able to find anyone to cover for me- so I might have to work part time on some projects while I'm out, but there's no way I'm doing that without a paycheck!



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