Friend miscarried

NinnyJean · July 2016

One of my best friends just had a miscarriage and I really want to get/do something for her but don't know what is helpful at this time. Any mama's who have had a miscarriage have any thoughts about what would have been helpful?

Jenly17 · July 2016

Oh no, I'm so sorry for your friend

I haven't miscarried, but my first thought is food. Maybe make her a meal or two and bring them to her, or even schedule a night after Pollie goes down and do a girls night. Pedis and then dinner after? If it was me, I would probably need an excuse to get out of the house. I think anything that you do for her will be very much appreciated.

and_peggy · July 2016

When I miscarried, I felt extremely alone. Not many people knew, but the ones that did really got me through the hard time by just making themselves available. I personally didn't want to talk about it or deal with it right away. A simple card was enough to make me feel like someone hurt with me but gave me the space I needed. So just make yourself available for when she's ready to talk and don't push her if she isn't ready.

Jyoung327 · July 2016

When I miscarried I didn't want to do anything but Netflix and couch. I had a friend mail me some magazines, a bag of brookside chocolate cranberries, and a card by surprise. The friend had also miscarried before too so her words were genuine and encouraging. If you send a card I'd browse online for something appropriate to write if you haven't experienced a miscarriage yourself.

kp90 · July 2016

I also didn't want to do anything but stay in the house/bed. Your friend may be different but just being there for her would be a big help and don't talk about the MC unless she begins the conversation. Maybe just a girls night in with some dinner or wine so she can relax and try to take her mind off things. I would leave your LO at home or with someone though. I know when I miscarried it was too hard for me to look at babies. Just caused more pain.

lionstigersbears · July 2016

In terms of what to say, I think sometimes people mean SO well but say the wrong thing. Things like "it wasn't meant to be," "at least it happened early," etc. are not a good choice for obvious reasons, but very well meaning people said them to me so I figured I'd share. "I'm sorry" and "I'm here for you" are a safe bet.

NinnyJean · July 2016

Thanks guys, these are great ideas!

folamij · July 2016

Little late, but just be there for her. As a pp said, when I miscarried I felt extremely alone and upset. I didn't understand why I lost my baby. Letting her know you are there for her in whatever way she needs is beyond value as she goes through this difficult time.

LondonToSavannah · July 2016

When I miscarried my friends were fantastic and all got together and we sat in the backyard and drank, and gossiped and laughed. It was exactly what I needed after days of crying.

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