Calling all night owls

LadySamLady · July 2016

Currently lying awake listening to H snore and LO grunt and thrash around. I know she's awake (I accidentally made eye contact when I got up to pee like a fool) and I'm just waiting for her to summon me....fx she self soothes herself back to sleep.

mrstmoose · July 2016

Never make eye contact. Rule #1!

camillaandcarson · July 2016

I ask DH to hold baby while I finally eat dinner since I just got baby down and couldn't risk baby getting up since I really wanted to eat with two hands.
A few minutes pass.
He gets baby down in bassinet he says.
2 mins later of course baby wakes up, DH is now asleep (or pretending?) and here I am awake with baby still.

lizChesnut · July 2016

^^^DAD move for the win urgh!.my DH says, just let him cry it out...he knows I won't!
Tonight im winning big, i swaddled that little guy so good and has been out a few hours now. Probably wake up soon tho...

tgortney · July 2016

Yeppp. That's a perfect description. Lying awake, not knowing if you will be summoned soon, and so you can't go back to sleep. Baby mind tricks man.

kitandcat · July 2016

Everything about your post made me LOL @LadySamLady !! The perfect description!!

@camillaandcarson That is one of the things that drives me bonkers about DH. He thinks he has so much trouble calming LO, but he doesn't! He just always tries to put him down and he RUINS IT!! He doesn't realize the beauty in holding the baby... Yes, it's tiring to hold a baby, but sleeping baby on me is better than fussy baby laying down. And normally if I let him get good and asleep on me I can lay him down without him noticing, but DH always tries to immediately put him down and it never works. And of course if I try and give DH advice he throws himself a pity party and acts like I think I'm the queen of the babies or something! No!! I am just trying to help!!

Bltbear82 · July 2016

How is it possible for husbands to fall asleep so quickly? I've been up since 3:30 and can't fall back asleep, DH woke up with me but has been snoring since 3:45.

missnc77 · July 2016

If I'm handling the whole feeding (diaper change, feed, put back down) it takes me forever to get back to sleep. If my husband helps, I usually feed for 20 minutes and am able to fall back asleep within 15 minutes. If it's all me, it takes 1.5-2 hours.

@Kit&Cat So much this! If she closes her eyes for a minute, he'll immediately put her down. I'm like, hey, I know you want to get back to bed, but you have to rock her for a good 10-20 minutes to make sure she's out before you put her down. He wonders why he's still going an hour or two later. If he'd just suck it up and rock her for 20 minutes, he wouldn't be up for the next hour and a half! Then it gets close to when he needs to get up for work, so I have to take over. Not like I've been sleeping the entire time anyway since I can hear her cry. It's finally getting to the point where if he wants to half ass it, I'll just do it myself. Argh!

tgortney · July 2016

Re: husbands sucking at putting baby down.

https://www.askdrsears.com/topics/health-concerns/sleep-problems/8-infant-sleep-facts-every-parent-should-know

This is is the best thing about baby sleep I've ever read. It really helped me. Now, when he closes his eyes or starts relaxing. I set a timer for 10 minutes and it usually works well.

missnc77 said:

If I'm handling the whole feeding (diaper change, feed, put back down) it takes me forever to get back to sleep. If my husband helps, I usually feed for 20 minutes and am able to fall back asleep within 15 minutes. If it's all me, it takes 1.5-2 hours.

@Kit&Cat So much this! If she closes her eyes for a minute, he'll immediately put her down. I'm like, hey, I know you want to get back to bed, but you have to rock her for a good 10-20 minutes to make sure she's out before you put her down. He wonders why he's still going an hour or two later. If he'd just suck it up and rock her for 20 minutes, he wouldn't be up for the next hour and a half! Then it gets close to when he needs to get up for work, so I have to take over. Not like I've been sleeping the entire time anyway since I can hear her cry. It's finally getting to the point where if he wants to half ass it, I'll just do it myself. Argh!

Also, everything about this post! Especially the bolder part! So true!!

Bellodomani · July 2016

Yeah, if I get out of bed it's all over for me, sleep-wise. It'll take me an hour or so to fall back asleep. My husband on the other hand can fall asleep in seconds it seems. So he has always brought the baby back and forth for nursing and handled any nighttime diaper changes. I was really nervous about nights because he's in New York for the month of July, but I just put her in a rock & play right next to the bed so I can grab her without getting up and ignore all nighttime diapers unless it's like an emergency situation. It has helped that the last four nights she has slept from 8-6!!! I have to sleep with earplugs in to deal with all her grunting, but at least I'm getting a very serious chunk of sleep most of the time.

vinerie · July 2016

Bltbear82 said:

How is it possible for husbands to fall asleep so quickly? I've been up since 3:30 and can't fall back asleep, DH woke up with me but has been snoring since 3:45.

THIS.

seasalt123 · July 2016

@bellodomani I need earplugs too. They don't prevent me from hearing LO cry but do muffle the grunting. Grunts are 50/50 is how they turn out. Sometimes it results in crying but other times he just grunts for a while and then goes to sleep. However as soon as I hear a grunt, I am immediately on alert expecting him to cry. The earplugs help so much.

yogahh · July 2016

I must be the hubby in my relationship. Takes me ten seconds to fall asleep and my snoring keeps dh up!

Bellodomani · July 2016

yogahh said:

I must be the hubby in my relationship. Takes me ten seconds to fall asleep and my snoring keeps dh up!

I'm the husband in basically all other aspects of our relationship- I handle the budget, car & bike repairs and a bunch of other typical husband jobs. Meanwhile my husband says he wishes it was socially acceptable for him to just be friends with all my friends (he is actually really close with two of them) because "girls know how to have real conversations"

Jenly17 · July 2016

yogahh said:

I must be the hubby in my relationship. Takes me ten seconds to fall asleep and my snoring keeps dh up!

DH has been leaving our room and sleeping on the couch for a few consecutive nights in a row. I asked him about it recently, and he said I've been snoring. I never ever snore. Well, he took a video of me the other night and I was mortified!! I can't believe I'm snoring now. Yikes!

camillaandcarson · July 2016

missnc77 said:. It's finally getting to the point where if he wants to half ass it, I'll just do it myself. Argh!

The master plan all along?

nerdymama15 · July 2016

My DH does the same or soon as she starts crying he either puts her in the mamaroo or hands her to me. His excuse is he doesn't feel a bond. Well practice makes perfect!
So anyway it's hot as hell here and our power went out at 737pm. It is now 1223am power is still out and apparently baby is afraid of the dark and I'm having post pardum hot flashes. Miserable all around. I have to stay awake so we can burn a candle who h keeps DD quiet. Duke Power doesn't have an ETA yet. Ugh

thismakes4 · July 2016

DH hears nothing and falls alseep fast. Any little sound and I'm up! He's never gotten up to help in the MOTN, goes to sleep before me and wakes up after me. I maybe get 3-4 hours of scattered sleep throughout the night and zero day naps. He went to bed tonight and I had to get all the LO's down by myself. I'm exhausted.

tgortney · July 2016

@nerdymama15 I sent you a pm

Jenly17 · July 2016

thismakes4 said:

DH hears nothing and falls alseep fast. Any little sound and I'm up! He's never gotten up to help in the MOTN, goes to sleep before me and wakes up after me. I maybe get 3-4 hours of scattered sleep throughout the night and zero day naps. He went to bed tonight and I had to get all the LO's down by myself. I'm exhausted

stuck in a box
How is it possible that with 4 kids he just goes to bed and doesnt help you at all??

Bellodomani · July 2016

thismakes4 said:

DH hears nothing and falls alseep fast. Any little sound and I'm up! He's never gotten up to help in the MOTN, goes to sleep before me and wakes up after me. I maybe get 3-4 hours of scattered sleep throughout the night and zero day naps. He went to bed tonight and I had to get all the LO's down by myself. I'm exhausted.

what a dick move! I'm one of 6 children and my dad was always the one who did bedtime and he got up early on the weekends to cook breakfast for us too. I would be so annoyed if I were you.

kbrands7 · July 2016

@thismakes4 I'm sorry. My DH also hears nothing and falls asleep fast; he's slow to wake too, so he doesn't help out at night unless I make a huge fuss. And the sleeping in while I watch kids and make breakfast business is getting on my last nerve. Last weekend I told him that if he wasn't up, he'd be on his own for breakfast. He got up. As far as bedtime goes, getting 2 down by myself is hard, you are a superwoman to do it with 4!

Bltbear82 · July 2016

Bellodomani said:

thismakes4 said:

DH hears nothing and falls alseep fast. Any little sound and I'm up! He's never gotten up to help in the MOTN, goes to sleep before me and wakes up after me. I maybe get 3-4 hours of scattered sleep throughout the night and zero day naps. He went to bed tonight and I had to get all the LO's down by myself. I'm exhausted.

what a dick move! I'm one of 6 children and my dad was always the one who did bedtime and he got up early on the weekends to cook breakfast for us too. I would be so annoyed if I were you.

This. My husband isn't great in the middle of the night but he does bedtime whenever he can and gave me the morning "off" to go to the gym and have some me time. He's always been a great partner but he's stepped it up with our second since I have zero time to myself during the day. I don't know how you manage four kids on your own, major props!

thismakes4 · July 2016

@Jenly17 I know. It's ridiculous. And then when I FINALLY went to go to bed he wakes up and wanted to get all frisky. I was just like "Nope. You're too tired remember". Lol.

@Bellodomani I'm also from a big family (10 of us) and my dad never put us to bed or helped. My mom did everything. Also DH usually leaves during the summer for work for 2-3 weeks at a time so it's normally just me. He's supposed to be going pretty soon here. Still, no excuse for when he is home.

@Kbrands7 my 2 older ones (4 and 5yrs) are pretty awesome about bedtime. My 2 year old is horrible at night. He fights sleep. His whole routine got messed up. I need to get on DH to help with this because it's right during the baby's cranky time.

@Bltbear82 I was able to have more "me time" with 2 kids but not so much with 4. Once the kids go back to school I'll have more time to myself. And I will be able to leave the 2 youngest in the gym daycare while I workout.

And all you ladies rock! Any amount of children is difficult at times and sometimes having 4 makes it easier as well

nerdymama15 · July 2016

tgortney said:

@nerdymama15 I sent you a pm

I don't know how to get to it on the phone app.

On an unrelated note
Power came back on about 24 hours later.

tgortney · July 2016

nerdymama15 said:

tgortney said:

@nerdymama15 I sent you a pm

I don't know how to get to it on the phone app.

On an unrelated note
Power came back on about 24 hours later.

Scroll all the way to the top, left corner that says inbox

kitandcat · July 2016

@Jenly17 When I was pregnant I snored SO LOUD, and I barely snored before pregnancy!! It was so loud I would wake myself up. DH slept in our guest room for the entire second half of the pregnancy because he couldn't sleep through it. We said if it didn't go away after LO was born then I would have to get surgery bc it was just too bad... Thankfully it went away!

kbrands7 · July 2016

Kit&Cat said:

@Jenly17 When I was pregnant I snored SO LOUD, and I barely snored before pregnancy!! It was so loud I would wake myself up. DH slept in our guest room for the entire second half of the pregnancy because he couldn't sleep through it. We said if it didn't go away after LO was born then I would have to get surgery bc it was just too bad... Thankfully it went away!

Same here! I'm a pregnancy snorer, but it goes away afterwards each time. I still have some sort of permanent sinus change from my first pregnancy though because I now snort when I laugh really hard. That hasn't gone away!

Jenly17 · July 2016

Snort laughers are the best though, @kbrands7! It's an automatic contagious laugh

wsgjmw1 · July 2016

Kit&Cat said:

@Jenly17 When I was pregnant I snored SO LOUD, and I barely snored before pregnancy!! It was so loud I would wake myself up. DH slept in our guest room for the entire second half of the pregnancy because he couldn't sleep through it. We said if it didn't go away after LO was born then I would have to get surgery bc it was just too bad... Thankfully it went away!

Once I hit 20 weeks I was sawing logs. I had never snored my entire life . As I got bigger and bigger it got worse and DH would wake me up and most of the time ended up sleeping in his office because I was so out of control haha. Thankful right after I gave birth I stopped but yeah we would of had major issues had my snoring kept up as bad as it was.

camillaandcarson · July 2016

Thismakes4 said: And all you ladies rock! Any amount of children is difficult at times and sometimes having 4 makes it easier as well

You are a total rock star!
I am interested in hearing more aboot your last statement.
How does having 4 make anything easier?
(I often wonder about having 4 kids for our family even though this is #2 and probably our last)

thismakes4 · July 2016

camillaandcarson said:

Thismakes4 said: And all you ladies rock! Any amount of children is difficult at times and sometimes having 4 makes it easier as well

You are a total rock star!
I am interested in hearing more aboot your last statement.
How does having 4 make anything easier?
(I often wonder about having 4 kids for our family even though this is #2 and probably our last)

There are definitely a ton of challenges having four but advantages too. If I'm driving and the baby starts crying then the oldest will put a pacifier in his mouth to calm him. Or if I'm making dinner and baby needs attention then one of the older ones will hold him (while sitting). Or if I'm breastfeeding and need something then they are there to get it. They entertain and help each other (and help me) so that's how it is easier for me sometimes

I never thought I would have a big family but now that I have one I love it!

Bellodomani · July 2016

@thismakes4 @camillaandcarson My mom always said it was all gravy after 3 (there are 6 of us) because we all kind of just took care of each other. It's a lot easier to tell 5 kids, "Go outside and entertain yourselves" than it is to make one do that. Also, I'm pretty sure you just lower your standards after 2 or 3 kids. I never went to ballet classes or piano lessons or anything like that, we all walked/ bussed ourselves to school, and if I wanted to play sports in middle & high school it was my responsibility to coordinate rides to & from practices and meets/ games. I also had to pay for any non-necessities I wanted from babysitting or lawn mowing money, and we all had a pretty serious chore rotation too. So I can totally see how more kids might make things easier in some ways.

kitandcat · July 2016

It's 11:40p... LO has been asleep since 9:30 and here I am... Staring at my phone. WTF! Why am I not tired?!! I am soooo going to regret this later.

amberraysofdawn · July 2016

@kit&cat I could have put LO into the crib an hour ago. Instead I'm letting her sleep on me with one arm holding her and my phone in the other hand...what is wrong with us?

thismakes4 · July 2016

Bellodomani said:

@thismakes4 @camillaandcarson My mom always said it was all gravy after 3 (there are 6 of us) because we all kind of just took care of each other. It's a lot easier to tell 5 kids, "Go outside and entertain yourselves" than it is to make one do that. Also, I'm pretty sure you just lower your standards after 2 or 3 kids. I never went to ballet classes or piano lessons or anything like that, we all walked/ bussed ourselves to school, and if I wanted to play sports in middle & high school it was my responsibility to coordinate rides to & from practices and meets/ games. I also had to pay for any non-necessities I wanted from babysitting or lawn mowing money, and we all had a pretty serious chore rotation too. So I can totally see how more kids might make things easier in some ways.

My parents let their standards down as well- although I did have piano lessons for a year when I was 8 (my aunt). In high school I walked 2 miles one-way to and from school and when I finally got my truck, that broke down 80% of the time, I worked 2 jobs at 17 years old so I totally understanding having to pay for things. I plan to let all my children play sports, do school activities or work (their choice) but they are most definitely not going to be at home playing video games all day. And I totally tell my 4 & 5 yr old to "Go outside and entertain yourselves". They have a buddy system.

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