February 2017 Moms

Venting

I almost had a complete meltdown last night. Just need a place to vent. 

Hubby and I TTC for about a year, and then on Round 3 of Clomid 50mg, it happened. I need to preface by saying that I am so grateful and excited. 

Now comes the venting. 

I have weaned myself off of my Celexa (anxiety medication). I was only on 15mg (lowest dose is 10mg), so my PCP suggested to start now rather than waiting until the third trimester. I am psyching myself out and anxious that I am off of my anxiety meds. It sounds crazy, but it is true.

I am bombarded with stress right now. I am taking two classes for my treasurer's license, working full time (two combined jobs), and sit on the board of our local animal shelter. We are going through a software conversion at work that will take from now until January when we go live. One of my jobs will be reviewed by the state next year (happens every three years) and I have a ton of leg work to do in order to prepare for the review. I have one more class to take after these two classes, and it only makes sense to take it before the little bambino arrives.

I haven't had any morning sickness, just cranky, emotional, and exhausted.  I've told my boss and a few close friends (and hubby obviously). We are telling my parents this weekend. They are going to be SO excited. Which is great, but gives me more anxiety. I've enjoyed having a small circle know. I'm not ready to be bombarded with everyone's opinions, etc. (which sounds super selfish). 

Here's a question.... my first appointment with US is next Friday the 22nd. Hubby is out of town, so I thought about asking my mom if she wanted to join me. The closer it gets, the more I feel like I don't want to ask her to join me. What if there is no heartbeat? What if something is wrong? I'm 30 and overweight (5'9" and 235). I'd rather be by myself and deal with it than have my mom there to add to my anxiety. My mom and I are SUPER close, so all of this sounds absolutely terrible to say. And I don't want to regret not having her there if everything is perfect and she could have seen the US. 

I'm sure there are more of you feeling the same way.... I hope? Hoping I can relax a little after the first appointment.  Ugh.  :'(

Re: Venting

  • kjd291kjd291 member
    Invite her to join!  I understand the anxiety of not wanting to share if something is wrong--but there is a much greater chance all will be okay and you'll want to share that with someone!!  It sucks going to those appointments alone. 

    And, as hard as it would be, its worth it to have someone with you  if something is wrong. It sucks to be vulnerable, but being vulnerable with fears with your mom is much easier than being stuck with just a strange ultrasound tech.
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  • If its a transvaginal ultrasound, that could be really awkward with your mom there. I would call first and make sure. It all depends on your comfort level of course. But my first ultrasound was transvaginal and I would've felt superrrr awkward with my mom there.
  • Do you think you can strike a compromise with yourself?  Maybe you can attend this US alone and then ask her to come to the anatomy scan?

    Or you could explain to her how you're feeling and maybe have her come with you but wait outside.  Once you're situated and feel comfortable, then you could call her in.



    Big Bro 7/14/13
    Little Bro 2/6/17

                                                                  Pregnancy Ticker   
  • I would just go alone and maybe meet her after or do as BumpasaurusRex suggested. How far along are you? My first few ultrasounds were vaginal and I would not have been comfortable with anyone in the room. 


  • I had a trasvaginal US with DH in the room and honestly that was pretty awkward.  However, they may not need to do a transvaginal US so you can call and check (though sometimes they can't see anything in the abdominal ultrasound so have to make a game time decision).  

    However, if I did find out something was wrong I wouldn't want to be alone, but that's personal preference.  Whatever decision you make just needs to be the right decision for you!  Good Luck!
     Me: 27 | DH: 28
    TTC since January 2016

    BFP - 3/12/16 - MC 4/5/16
    BFP - 6/11/16



    Pregnancy Ticker
  • After giving birth and having 30 people in and out of my vagina in a few days I can't imagine ever being weirded out by someone in the room ever again. Having a baby is losing any sense of being humiliated.  

    If your mom stresses you out don't bring her, if she would be needed support bring her. 
    I can imagine feeling differently after I've given birth, but as it stands, it was like DH watching someone else shove a Dildo up my lady bits and he just looked so uncomfortable that it made me uncomfortable.
     Me: 27 | DH: 28
    TTC since January 2016

    BFP - 3/12/16 - MC 4/5/16
    BFP - 6/11/16



    Pregnancy Ticker
  • After giving birth and having 30 people in and out of my vagina in a few days I can't imagine ever being weirded out by someone in the room ever again. Having a baby is losing any sense of being humiliated.  

    If your mom stresses you out don't bring her, if she would be needed support bring her. 
    OP is a first time mom.
  • After giving birth and having 30 people in and out of my vagina in a few days I can't imagine ever being weirded out by someone in the room ever again. Having a baby is losing any sense of being humiliated.  

    If your mom stresses you out don't bring her, if she would be needed support bring her. 
    OP is a first time mom.
    and a post and runner! 
  • I had a transvaginal ultrasound with my MC and I remember being covered with a cloth - I had to insert it myself and then the tech took over holding it I think. The tech never saw me naked. I wonder if the set up at the place I went is different than what y'all experienced. 

    I'd bring mom if she was likely to be a support but not if she'd be a stressor. I'd be concerned about being alone and having to drive after if I found out something was wrong...
    ---TW BFP and MC mentioned - scroll down past the Lilo and Stitch gif to avoid ---




    Me: 33 & DH: 33
    Married: 07/2006
    TTC: 10/2015
    BFP #1: 11/2015, MC 12/2015 (7 weeks)
    BFP #2: 06/2016, EDD 2/15/2017



    Pregnancy Ticker






  • Yeah I was under a cloth for mine too. Otherwise yes that's awkward!
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • After giving birth and having 30 people in and out of my vagina in a few days I can't imagine ever being weirded out by someone in the room ever again. Having a baby is losing any sense of being humiliated.  

    If your mom stresses you out don't bring her, if she would be needed support bring her. 
    This. You lose all sense of dignity after having a baby.

    *TMI* I had a snail trail of blood to the bathroom after having DD. The nurse didnt put my bandaging on correctly before I stood up for the first time. I cried and the nurse was so nice about it while she was cleaning it up. That was the end of all my hopes and dreams of ever having any dignity. 
  • I guess it depends on the person.  I have had kids and a lot of different doctors/nurses do different exams and I am still uncomfortable during each exam and each Transvaginal ultrasound. I still don't want anyone present for an Transvaginal ultrasound or exams. 

    Not everyone is so open just because they had kids. Even during labour.
  • For me, I'm more comfortable alone or with DH only for medical stuff, so I wouldn't personally bring my mom, even though we're close.  I'll have just DH for laboring, too.  I would just go with your gut; either way your mom will understand and be happy to either be there or celebrate good news later.  
  • After giving birth and having 30 people in and out of my vagina in a few days I can't imagine ever being weirded out by someone in the room ever again. Having a baby is losing any sense of being humiliated.  

    If your mom stresses you out don't bring her, if she would be needed support bring her. 
    I was going to say the same thing - my mom watched DS exit my vagina, so having her near my head during an u/s with a paper blanket over my knees wouldn't faze me in the slightest. BUT, I might've felt differently before giving birth in front of a room full of people. 

    OP: if you and mom are close, I say invite her. Chances are good it'll be a happy day, but it it'd be good to have support either way. Good luck! 
  • For what it's worth, I haven't given birth before, and I don't think the transvaginal US was awkward.  It's part of the science of all this.  

    It wasn't awkward when my husband was in the room with me, and it wasn't awkward when I was by myself.  

    There was a cloth covering my private parts.  IDK - I'm usually a very private and covered up person in real life, but in medical situations I'm like "gotta do what you gotta do".  

    ** December BMB Siggy Challenge - Animals in Pools **


    Me: 31+ H: 32
    TTC Since 11/2015
    #1 - MMC 6.5 weeks (2/16); #2 - MC due to cystic hygroma at 20 weeks (10/16); #3 CP (2/17); #4 - Due 12.16.17
  • Maybe I've just had a lot in my vag in my life, but transvaginal ultrasounds don't bother me in the slightest. 
  • lap018lap018 member
    Now, if you feel a pinky in your butt....
    I just spit water all over myself and my phone, choked, almost died, completely worth it. Best line ever #literallyalmostdied
  • Thank you all for your insight.  I'm thinking I'm going to do this appointment alone. My anxiety is already high and I don't want to have a full blown panic attack during the transvaginal U/S and make it more awkward.. lol. It's so nice to have a place to ask whatever questions I think if and hear all of your thoughts. Thanks again!
  • tc415860 said:
    Thank you all for your insight.  I'm thinking I'm going to do this appointment alone. My anxiety is already high and I don't want to have a full blown panic attack during the transvaginal U/S and make it more awkward.. lol. It's so nice to have a place to ask whatever questions I think if and hear all of your thoughts. Thanks again!
    Let us know how the appointment goes!

    I'll also say that this is my first pregnancy, and although I was a little anxious about what to expect with the TV ultrasound, I found it not to be awkward at all.  I had two, the first one alone and the second with DH, and it was really much less awkward than a pap smear or routine gynecological checkup.  I was anxious to see the baby and make sure all was okay, but I wouldn't let the fact that it's TV be an extra cause of anxiety.
  • Now, if you feel a pinky in your butt....
    Bow chica bow wow



    Big Bro 7/14/13
    Little Bro 2/6/17

                                                                  Pregnancy Ticker   
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