First Appointment and the Mother-in-Law

akeelahb · July 2016

I have my first doctor's appointment in less than 4 weeks. My future mother-in-law is coming too. Will she be in the room when I'm asked about my medical history...? I don't feel comfortable with her knowing about my health. At the same time, I don't want to hurt her feelings. She can come for everything else! Just not my medical history. Will the doctor ask me if it's okay first? It's the same practice as my primary gynecologist so can they just pull my chart and not even ask about my medical history? Sorry for rambling I'm a ftm and I'm just nervous. There are things about me I want to keep private. Of course my fiance knows these things, but I don't feel like it's any of her business. Please help me.

Knottie25816533 · July 2016

When I went to my first OB appointment the nurse took just me back first. Then when it was time for the ultrasound they went and got my husband and mom. I wouldn't have cared if they came from beginning but that's just how they did it. Call ahead before and tell them you want to do any medical history stuff first and then whoever with you can come back. I am sure they will understand and stand by your wishes. But that way you voice your wish ahead of time and you don't have to say it in front of her! Good Luck!

Edited due to stupid autocorrect!

akeelahb · July 2016

Thank you! That made me feel much better. That's a great idea! I'm going to do that. Thank you again!!!

Knottie25816533 · July 2016

Your very welcome!

Lecool · July 2016

My OB/GYN's office had me do a preliminary call with the Nurse about a week before my first appointment. I spoke with her on the phone and she asked all of the questions about my medical history. Like you, I'm going to the same office as I usually do for my gyno stuff, so they have my medical history, but they still had other questions that they must ask you that may be uncomfortable answering in front of your MIL. Maybe call your doctor's office and see if they also do some of the preliminary stuff over the phone - then you wouldn't have to worry about it. If not, I agree with PP that you could tell them when you check in that you want to do the medical history stuff in private, and then bring your MIL in.

MonaLisaRalphio · July 2016

My OB's office gave me a medical history form to fill out, and at the bottom, there was a line that said something like "check here if there's any part of your medical history that you do not want discussed with the person attending this appointment with you." Doctor's offices are so well-versed in dealing with privacy concerns - they take them very seriously. A quick call to your OB's office in advance could help you figure out how they handle these things. I'm sure there's a protocol in place. They will probably at least put a note in your chart that you want to have a private conversation with the nurse.

Teach123 · July 2016

I would make sure you know what all they plan to do at the first appointment. I didn't even have an ultrasound for it. There's really not any reason to have her come otherwise.

Kurtni · July 2016

My guest was my husband, they did everything with him in the room- medical history, pap, pelvic exam, etc. if you are not comfortable with your MiL being there, you need to be prepared to ask her to step out. If I was your nurse, I would assume anyone you invite in the room is wanted.

penelope4612 · July 2016

I would also call and ask what they are going to do in the appointment. My first appointment was incredibly boring and included a pap and bloodwork, and then a timeline of what my other appointments would be. DH came because we wanted to hear the heartbeat on Doppler (the appt was at 10 weeks) but otherwise, it wasn't worth having someone else there. I agree with PP, MIL would probably be more excited to be at an ultrasound.

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