Well... My wallet got stolen today. But we got our daycare spot secured since we are the first to pay the deposit of the 2017 wait list. So, the day balanced out, I guess?
Hey ladies, I am trying to figure out what to do so I thought my question may be fitting for the random thread.
I was wondering if you ladies put any kind of context in your pregnancy announcements on Facebook. My DH and I plan to announce this weekend on FB and we had struggled for over a year and a half to get pregnant and were seen by an RE and they weren't sure we would conceive naturally. I have PCOS and DH had some issues as well. However, we did end up conceiving naturally so we feel like this baby is definitely a miracle for us!
I kind of feel compelled to share a bit of our story but I also can't stand people who overshare on FB all the time. My close friends know my TTC struggle but I feel like its a really silent, not talked about issues and that makes it hard to really be open about it when you are going through it. I feel like sharing our story could help others struggling, but I also know it could end up coming off as a total overshare.
@cjs260 Ugh, was it definitely stolen or just lost? You probably already cancelled cards and all that jazz but I still hope it makes its way back to you. I lost mine back in December in a cab in Chicago and even though I had everything replaced in a week, I remember the whole thing was frustrating. Crazy jealous you were able to secure a daycare spot though. Everything half-decent around here is like a year wait.
@cjs260 What a frustrating turn of events; I'm sorry you can't just be over the moon to have your childcare sorted. But at least childcare is a a years long solution, while a stolen wallet and cancelled cards is a temporary thing that will pass soon enough... Seems like, on balance, this day can still count in the win column (maybe with an asterisk next to it...)
Ugh @cjs260 I'm so sorry about your wallet, that blows!
@sarahmsoda we did 3 rounds of IVF and used donor sperm to get pregnant. I didn't mention anything in our announcement a few days ago, but I commented on it to give our RE a shout out.
Now that we're FINALLY pregnant I'll be participating in National Infertility Awareness Week and sharing more articles and petitions etc about infertility. I agree that it's not talked about nearly enough and there's a shame associated with IF when there shouldn't be, but for me personally I just wanted to focus on the babies first in the announcement.
@sarahmsoda I have been thinking about this a lot myself. We had two losses before we discovered that I had a uterine septum that needed to be surgically removed. I'm relatively open about this with people in my life, but I have never discussed it on social media. I try to keep my online presence to a minimum. And it was actually a huge leap for me to post on here and not just lurk. That being said, I do think we will make a social media announcement at some point about this pregnancy. Likely not for a while though, and I also struggle with how to address it. Our losses and experiences with our RE in getting us to where we are is not something I would want to leave unaddressed, especially because I'm sure it could help others who are still struggling. However, I also have considered @tinabelcher's point and wonder if the focus should just be on this baby initially. Sorry I don't have any real advice to give, since I'm struggling with this still too! I'll let you know if I come to a decision, and please let me know if you do as well.
I've had two friends who struggled with infertility address it online, but in slightly different ways. One friend posted about a week after their announcement to thank everyone and to thank the doctors. It was a simple, quick acknowledgment of everything/everyone it took to get them to this point. Another friend posted later in her pregnancy (maybe the start of her third trimester) about their struggles leading up to the pregnancy. It was a lengthier post detailing the journey, but I appreciated her willingness to be open and honest about her experience.
Thanks ladies. I think I may take Tina's advice and make the announcement about the baby and our excitement and then later on if the opportunity presents itself or if there is an article I want to share I can share our story a bit then.
I don't really share much of Facebook either but I like the idea of being open about my story so others doesn't suffer in silence
@sarahmsoda I didn't have nearly as hard of time as others with my one loss, but like TinaBelcher, I plan to be more open about IF and loss. I also shared a little something on Mother's Day, but that off course was prior to our announcement.
And thanks for the sympathy, you guys. Y'all are awesome. I'm like 99% positive it was taken, and there was another reported wallet stolen in an adjacent building around the same time. There was a total of $6 in there, so it's mainly just the inconvenience of having to go get a new driver's license and student ID, and calling to cancel cards/stop payment on the two checks I had in there. I'm really hoping that the person ditches the wallet and an honest person finds it, so I can just get my license back. Because the DMV sucks.
I just got really annoyed when I woke up this morning because because this past week at 11 weeks the bump said my baby was the size of a lime. I opened another app I have and it tells me that now at 12 weeks my baby is the size of a lime. This annoyance is completely irrational and all of these things are estimates but I think I will never open that other app again. Haha
@scgirl6113 Ughhh I know, The Bump did that again at 13/14 with peach. Their ticker said peach at 13, the website says peach at 14 (they basically swapped lemon and peach). Good news is that I think beyond week 14, it stops pulling those shenanigans because the size starts going up like crazy and there's too much growth each week to ever confusingly use the same fruit or veggie.
So our realtor showed us two house last night... one had an amazing walkscore, close to a park we like, recently renovated really well, already has a room set up as a nursery, move-in ready, semi-decently priced....
and then the other house... is literally right next door to close friends of ours who are having a baby this month, in a historic cute neighborhood, basically it's the "worst house on the block", has good bones, really adorable upper level deck off the master, very cheaply priced because of the condition it's in... but... we'd need to do a ton of little renovations to make it nice (basically just ripping out carpeting, refinishing floors, probably completely gutting one of the bathrooms and redoing it entirely).
And I have no idea which we should go with. OH built houses with his dad growing up, so I know he has handyman experience and isn't just talking the talk when he says he could do it, but with 5.5 months until baby, who wants to completely remodel a house in the peak of summer?
@canavara thanks for the heads up on those weeks coming up! Also I'm totally all about being close to a park and having a move in ready house. But we aren't handy. I see the draw of being close to a friend though. How long does you OH think the renovations would take? If they'd be done by 3rd tri I would say It'd be a fun adventure. Lol
@canavara I'm also more of a move-in-ready type person, but my husband and I don't have the experience to do it on our own. And undertaking a big project wouldn't be practical for us given our work and travel schedules. I am always in awe of people that can do it though. Seems to save a ton of money. I'm with @scgirl83081 in that I think OH should evaluate how long each individual project would realistically take and which projects you'd consider "need to be done" by baby's arrival and make a decision based on that. It's probably a bit too adventurous for me, with too many variables, but it doesn't sound like a complete remodel and could be done.
When I think about houses, the question I ask is will it meet our needs long term. How do the houses compare in square footage? Does one give you more room to grow? Can you see yourself still being comfy in one 10 years down the road? Are the number and placement of bathrooms better on one than the other? What about the floor plan? Does one flow better than the other?
I wouldn't worry as much about the cosmetic changes. But, this is coming from a person who gutted a house and remodeled. Also, be thankful for a handy husband. Mine is not.
@canavara house hunting us so difficult! So many things to consider. I'd love a fixer upper someday but right now that seems daunting. What if your friends move away? Would you still like living in that location?
Well today is my 30th birthday! We are heading to the coast for the weekend. It's supposed to rain the whole time. I'm crossing my fingers DD naps well and sleeps through the night. That is all I want for my birthday!
@canavara We just recently went through something very similar. Like almost exact same situation, my husband's dad was a contractor and he's worked on houses all his life. I will say to just be cautious of the "fixer-upper" house, because we looked at one like that, and we went under contract thinking that there were just a couple of repairs needed to make it an awesome place. Then we got the inspection, and happened to have an amazingly thorough inspector, and there were SO many other things wrong with the house that we didn't even realize (electrical issues, roof leaking into the attic, a giant dead tree in the back that could fall at any moment...) So even though we had paid for the inspection, we got out of that contract immediately and were so glad we did. It was just obvious the house hadn't been cared for at all.
The house we ended up buying had been recently renovated, it was move-in ready, and we love it, because there are still lots of cosmetic things we're doing, like painting, backsplash for the kitchen, and lawn work. I guess I don't want to discourage you from considering the one that needs work, but I'd just make sure you get a very thorough inspector and be prepared in case there is more that needs fixing than you originally anticipated.
lol I posted and then walked away to go have breakfast and OH and I ended up discussing pretty much all the (really good) points that everyone brought up Thanks for all the viewpoints @Dinozaur@underthesea (happy birthday!!) @teach123@LoneStar21416@scgirl6113 !
OH is like, "I find doing work like that relaxing. But you know, we just need to make the space livable first and then we can tackle everything down the road... but I don't think we should get that fixer upper because it's just too big and the cost of maintenance could be really high!" And of course, the other house is awesome but we'll probably outgrow it in a few years because it was big enough for 2 adults and a small child but... potentially introduce another kid or let LO #1 grow a few years older and suddenly... nope. So now we're circling back on some other houses we looked at.
@canavara Ahh! What a tough desicion! I don't have any advice, as we've never owned, but I always like the idea of a fixer upper that we can make into our perfect forever home. But good luck!!
@sarahmsoda I haven't read the other gals' opinions, so I don't know if I'm repeating anything already said. Or mine may be a completely unpopular opinion on your situation, but.... I wouldn't share the whole TTC journey. Granted, this is coming from my own way of looking at things. I'm an intensely private person, and my general opinion is that people these days overshare way too much, especially things that I think are very personal. If it were me, I wouldn't go there.
@canavara we bought a mega fixer in 2014 while TTC (totally didn't expect it to take this long) I'm like your OH, remodeling is FUN for me and I love the sweat equity but we bought this house because this is it- THE house that we'll stay in forever (unless somethings suuuper similar shows up on more acreage in our price range and school district, which is highly doubtful) if you don't feel that pull like that house is IT then now probably isn't the very best time to take on those projects because closing usually takes a month (or more) and we're running out of 2016!
I just got really annoyed when I woke up this morning because because this past week at 11 weeks the bump said my baby was the size of a lime. I opened another app I have and it tells me that now at 12 weeks my baby is the size of a lime. This annoyance is completely irrational and all of these things are estimates but I think I will never open that other app again. Haha
This happened me today at 11 weeks. I have a few apps with non fruit based size comparisons & last week at 10 weeks one said a lego mini figure & another one said poker chip. Then today these two apps have swapped round for 11 weeks the one that was a lego figure now is a poker chip & vice versa! I feel cheated! Lol
Ironic twist on house-hunting: We found out that our friends who lived next door to the house we looked at the other day... they own half of a duplex and the other half of their duplex is currently off the market but being renovated. It's a really old historic house and the people doing the renovation are putting a bunch of really awesome touches on it and the price is still well within our budget, so OH and I both fell in love with it.
They have a designer helping out with the renovation and because we checked it out so early in the process, let us know that we could pick out some of the stuff ourselves if we decide we're interested. Just have to talk to our friends to make sure they're okay with having us be their next door neighbors and then we're probably going to put an offer in Sooooooo glad we didn't jump on the first houses we saw.
At the nt scan baby measured 7-11 days ahead so my doctor decided we're moving my due date up a week to Jan 3 instead of Jan 10. Would you still consider yourself 13w6d at this point or move ahead a week to 14w6d?
I had the exact same thing happen - I switched OBs when I moved and when they did a scan baby measured a week ahead so she moved me from January 15 to January 9. I'm considering myself 14 weeks now.
@adorebella I think I would go ahead and just consider myself 14w6d. 7-11 days ahead is a much greater leap than just a couple days and likely not just a measurement error.
Okay good to know others would move it forward too! @canavara Jan 10 was based on LMP and at the ultrasound during the 6th week baby was measuring a day or two behind that. @scgirl6113 Agreed, I don't think it was measurement error because she took about 4 measurements and they ranged from 7 days ahead to 11 ahead, they went with the lowest.
So I'm sad. And emotional, because I'm pregnant. Doing a joined party for my 4yr and 2yr boys on Saturday and planned on having my mom help with baking cakes and decorating etc. We usually make some elaborate cake, this time it's less crazy making lightsabers out of cupcakes and a Death Star ball cake. As silly as it is I've never made the cake by myself lol. Just found out she won't be here Friday night which is when we usually do cakes and as much as we can to have less to do day of. I'm stressing about it because we already have a lot to do Saturday and I don't want to also wait on cakes for Saturday too. But it's frustrating when she was just like oh well, good thing they are simple cakes! Like has she totally forgotten the last 10-15 birthdays we've done?! We're always up till 8 or 9pm the night before and STILL scrambling the day of to get stuff together.
Ugh, cue pregnancy tears and over reaction on my part, oh bummer I have to be an adult and actually tackle a kids birthday on my own...omg how old am I 12?!
@mommywesley I always do some sort of elaborate cake for my kids too. (Although mine is usually by myself) but this year I didn't have the energy because I was pregnant and I made the worst looking ever for my sins first birthday but the one for my 3 year old turned out great. I had a total meltdown worrying that my younger children would think I loved my oldest more because his cakes were "cool"
total. OVER. Reaction. DH was like what is wrong with you he will just be happy to eat cake.
I hope the party for your boys goes well and I'm sorry your mom can't help you with the cakes this year!
Couldn't find a more recent randoms post and wasn't sure where to post, so I hope here is okay.
I am feeling really discouraged right now you guys. I have been trying really hard to eat, gain weight, and ease off my nausea medication. I don't want to be on it any longer than I absolutely have to and the bowel side effects I've been having are just horribly unpleasant. So, after a few days of skipping my afternoon dose, I woke up from a nap feeling soooo nauseous. Quickly took my meds and tried to eat. Threw up (for the first time in over a week!) and had terrible upset stomach. In ONE DAY I lost the two pounds I've worked so hard to gain back. Everyone keeps telling me I am lucky not to be gaining weight because I will have less to lose, but my OB explicitly said I needed to have gained 3-5 lbs by my next appointment (July 26th). I am so worried that I am not giving baby or my body the nutrients needed, and so frustrated by everyone in my family minimizing my concerns. I am still down 10 pounds from pre-baby weight. Is anyone else having this struggle?
@BAJDesigns I'm so sorry! I considered trying to wean off of my Zofran but I can't, I've skipped a dose here and there if I'm feeling fine but I've also thrown up a couple times and I know that I still need it. I totally understand not wanting to take it but I've resigned myself to being on it for the long haul
Staying on on it I've gained about 4 pounds of the 12 I lost back, but I still can't eat full meals. I drink a boost every day, plus I'm taking extra folate, calcium and iron (most of that is because this is a twin pregnancy but for severe morning sickness I can see doing similar)
@BAJDesigns I'm so sorry you're in this boat. I tried going off my nausea meds and learned it was not time yet. I'm going to keep taking them for a few more weeks. I think they work best when taken consistently.
Im sorry your family is minimizing your concerns. Keep doing the best you can. It's all you can do. Maybe try what @tinabelcher said and drink an ensure a day. I'll keep my fingers crossed you can pack on the pounds by your appt. it can happen! I only lost about 7 pounds from MS but I've been able to gain it back in the last month. I still throw up but am able to keep quite a bit down in between spells.
Re: Randoms 6.27.16
But congrats on the daycare spot! A bright side of the day and now you don't have to worry about that which is great.
BFP 2/3/16 --> MC 2/13/16
I was wondering if you ladies put any kind of context in your pregnancy announcements on Facebook. My DH and I plan to announce this weekend on FB and we had struggled for over a year and a half to get pregnant and were seen by an RE and they weren't sure we would conceive naturally. I have PCOS and DH had some issues as well. However, we did end up conceiving naturally so we feel like this baby is definitely a miracle for us!
I kind of feel compelled to share a bit of our story but I also can't stand people who overshare on FB all the time. My close friends know my TTC struggle but I feel like its a really silent, not talked about issues and that makes it hard to really be open about it when you are going through it. I feel like sharing our story could help others struggling, but I also know it could end up coming off as a total overshare.
What do you ladies think I should do?
@sarahmsoda we did 3 rounds of IVF and used donor sperm to get pregnant. I didn't mention anything in our announcement a few days ago, but I commented on it to give our RE a shout out.
Now that we're FINALLY pregnant I'll be participating in National Infertility Awareness Week and sharing more articles and petitions etc about infertility. I agree that it's not talked about nearly enough and there's a shame associated with IF when there shouldn't be, but for me personally I just wanted to focus on the babies first in the announcement.
@cjs260 so sorry. What a bummer.
Thanks ladies. I think I may take Tina's advice and make the announcement about the baby and our excitement and then later on if the opportunity presents itself or if there is an article I want to share I can share our story a bit then.
I don't really share much of Facebook either but I like the idea of being open about my story so others doesn't suffer in silence
And thanks for the sympathy, you guys. Y'all are awesome. I'm like 99% positive it was taken, and there was another reported wallet stolen in an adjacent building around the same time. There was a total of $6 in there, so it's mainly just the inconvenience of having to go get a new driver's license and student ID, and calling to cancel cards/stop payment on the two checks I had in there. I'm really hoping that the person ditches the wallet and an honest person finds it, so I can just get my license back. Because the DMV sucks.
Due 1/21/17
and then the other house... is literally right next door to close friends of ours who are having a baby this month, in a historic cute neighborhood, basically it's the "worst house on the block", has good bones, really adorable upper level deck off the master, very cheaply priced because of the condition it's in... but... we'd need to do a ton of little renovations to make it nice (basically just ripping out carpeting, refinishing floors, probably completely gutting one of the bathrooms and redoing it entirely).
And I have no idea which we should go with. OH built houses with his dad growing up, so I know he has handyman experience and isn't just talking the talk when he says he could do it, but with 5.5 months until baby, who wants to completely remodel a house in the peak of summer?
Due 1/21/17
I wouldn't worry as much about the cosmetic changes. But, this is coming from a person who gutted a house and remodeled. Also, be thankful for a handy husband. Mine is not.
Well today is my 30th birthday! We are heading to the coast for the weekend. It's supposed to rain the whole time. I'm crossing my fingers DD naps well and sleeps through the night. That is all I want for my birthday!
The house we ended up buying had been recently renovated, it was move-in ready, and we love it, because there are still lots of cosmetic things we're doing, like painting, backsplash for the kitchen, and lawn work. I guess I don't want to discourage you from considering the one that needs work, but I'd just make sure you get a very thorough inspector and be prepared in case there is more that needs fixing than you originally anticipated.
Jan '17 August siggy challenge: Cat fails
OH is like, "I find doing work like that relaxing. But you know, we just need to make the space livable first and then we can tackle everything down the road... but I don't think we should get that fixer upper because it's just too big and the cost of maintenance could be really high!" And of course, the other house is awesome but we'll probably outgrow it in a few years because it was big enough for 2 adults and a small child but... potentially introduce another kid or let LO #1 grow a few years older and suddenly... nope. So now we're circling back on some other houses we looked at.
And HAPPY BIRTHDAY @underthesea !!!!!!!
I wouldn't share the whole TTC journey. Granted, this is coming from my own way of looking at things. I'm an intensely private person, and my general opinion is that people these days overshare way too much, especially things that I think are very personal. If it were me, I wouldn't go there.
SaveSave
@canavara we bought a mega fixer in 2014 while TTC (totally didn't expect it to take this long) I'm like your OH, remodeling is FUN for me and I love the sweat equity but we bought this house because this is it- THE house that we'll stay in forever (unless somethings suuuper similar shows up on more acreage in our price range and school district, which is highly doubtful) if you don't feel that pull like that house is IT then now probably isn't the very best time to take on those projects because closing usually takes a month (or more) and we're running out of 2016!
@sarahmsoda of course choose to announce as you are comfortable and brave of you to share (if you do)!
@underthesea, a little late but Happy Birthday!!!
Me: 28 | DH: 31
Together since 2006 | Married May 2015
TTC #1 since November 2015
BFP 5/17/16 | EDD 1/27/17 | Born 2/4/17
They have a designer helping out with the renovation and because we checked it out so early in the process, let us know that we could pick out some of the stuff ourselves if we decide we're interested. Just have to talk to our friends to make sure they're okay with having us be their next door neighbors and then we're probably going to put an offer in
At the nt scan baby measured 7-11 days ahead so my doctor decided we're moving my due date up a week to Jan 3 instead of Jan 10. Would you still consider yourself 13w6d at this point or move ahead a week to 14w6d?
BFP1 12/24/14 - EDD 09/07/15 (D/C 8w1d)
BFP2 6/12/15 - EDD 2/22/16 (D/C 10w3d)
———
Diagnoses and Treatments
PCOS (myo-inositol, excercize)
Indeterminant levels of APS IgM antibodies (baby aspirin)
Sub-septate uterus (hysteroscopic septoplasty 12/18/15)
———
BFP3 05/02/16 EDD 01/09/17 DS born 01/05/17
BFP4 01/28/19 EDD 10/?/19 🤞🙏
Due 1/21/17
@lecool- spending my birthday on the Oregon coast hoping to spot a whale!
Ugh, cue pregnancy tears and over reaction on my part, oh bummer I have to be an adult and actually tackle a kids birthday on my own...omg how old am I 12?!
DS1 - 03/31/2006
DS2 - 12/31/2008
DS3 - 06/26/2012
DS4 - 08/07/2014
total. OVER. Reaction. DH was like what is wrong with you he will just be happy to eat cake.
I hope the party for your boys goes well and I'm sorry your mom can't help you with the cakes this year!
Due 1/21/17
Couldn't find a more recent randoms post and wasn't sure where to post, so I hope here is okay.
I am feeling really discouraged right now you guys. I have been trying really hard to eat, gain weight, and ease off my nausea medication. I don't want to be on it any longer than I absolutely have to and the bowel side effects I've been having are just horribly unpleasant. So, after a few days of skipping my afternoon dose, I woke up from a nap feeling soooo nauseous. Quickly took my meds and tried to eat. Threw up (for the first time in over a week!) and had terrible upset stomach. In ONE DAY I lost the two pounds I've worked so hard to gain back. Everyone keeps telling me I am lucky not to be gaining weight because I will have less to lose, but my OB explicitly said I needed to have gained 3-5 lbs by my next appointment (July 26th). I am so worried that I am not giving baby or my body the nutrients needed, and so frustrated by everyone in my family minimizing my concerns. I am still down 10 pounds from pre-baby weight. Is anyone else having this struggle?
Staying on on it I've gained about 4 pounds of the 12 I lost back, but I still can't eat full meals. I drink a boost every day, plus I'm taking extra folate, calcium and iron (most of that is because this is a twin pregnancy but for severe morning sickness I can see doing similar)
::commiseration and huge hugs::
Im sorry your family is minimizing your concerns. Keep doing the best you can. It's all you can do. Maybe try what @tinabelcher said and drink an ensure a day. I'll keep my fingers crossed you can pack on the pounds by your appt. it can happen! I only lost about 7 pounds from MS but I've been able to gain it back in the last month. I still throw up but am able to keep quite a bit down in between spells.