What if husband isn't home?

Vivi20 · July 2016

My husband's job is 40 minutes away from home. I'm scared he'll be at work when I go into labor. I realize 40 minutes isn't terribly far, but I've heard so often that second babies come fast, so I have this image in my head of me delivering our baby on the bathroom floor by myself before he gets home.
So, if your husband is NOT home, what do you do? Do you drive yourself to the hospital?

TinaBelcher · July 2016

Ehhhhh no, I probably wouldn't risk it. Driving while in labor HAS to be impaired driving, right? If you have no family or close friends nearby (I'd call my dad or my sister in a heartbeat but they live and work a couple of miles away) just call an ambulance, I think that's safer for everyone

Vivi20 · July 2016

That's what I was thinking. My SIL drove herself to the hospital when she was in labor...but I agree, that's just dumb. I praaaaay he is home! Last time, my water broke in the wee wee hours of the morning, so he was home, which was good. I'm also more apprehensive this time around because we have our daughter. We already have plans in place for her to go to my sister's, but what if she is somewhere and can't get her right away? All these things to think about!

BAJDesigns · July 2016

My husband works 24 hour shifts, so I definitely understand where you are coming from. There's a pretty good chance he won't be home! I have family very nearby, so I will have someone to drive me. I'd say, when in doubt about driving, call an ambulance!

AshleySparkle720 · July 2016

My husband was deployed when I had DD. I loaded up the car and drove to my birthing center because that was my option unless I wanted to call my parents to come and get me. My water hadn't broken yet, but my contractions were strong and close. I put my car on cruise control and just took deep breaths until I got there. It a 15 minute drive and my adrenaline was racing so I barely noticed the contractions honestly.

Vivi20 · July 2016

@AshleySparkle720 Oh my gosh, that sounds so scary! My heart would have been beating out of my chest!

poetryandoceans · July 2016

Yeah, don't risk driving yourself. If you're worried about ambulance cost and you're not actively crowning, a taxi might be a good bet, too. Seems like a good thing to talk to your OB/midwife about as you get closer to the date, so you can determine how urgent it is to get there and whether calling an ambulance or taxi might be more appropriate.

I have similar concerns. Though, funnily enough, if my husband is at work, he'll be where I'm going to deliver anyway, so I'll just make my brother drive me there

mommywesley · July 2016

I haven't thought about this, I've been worrying about bad weather though, and that I may deliver in the car lol #4 came in like 3hrs, but I was in the hospital when labor started.

karaelaine1991 · July 2016

This was my situation with my first pregnancy! To make it even worse, the week I went into labor he was at an audit that was actually an hour beyond the office (I was furious because he'd promised that he'd make sure he wasn't far from the office in the weeks leading up to EDD but when it came down to it he refused to speak up and reschedule the audit, which happens all the time so it really wouldn't have been a big deal). Thankfully, I ended up going into labor on a Sunday so it wasn't an issue. I'd have a few friends lined up in case of emergency; also take comfort in the fact that while second babies may come faster in general, a 40 minute labor is extremely rare. Still, it's good to be prepared!

AshleySparkle720 · July 2016

@jlea05 it was definitely a mind over matter situation lol! You'll know what your body can handle at that point. I knew because my water hadn't broken yet I would make it to the hospital before DD would arrive. Some people's labor moves along much quicker and your body will tell you if the baby is coming right then.

sldp123 · July 2016

If my husband isn't at home, I won't be at home either, because we work the same hours in the same part of town, which is close to the hospital. So it would actually almost be better that way, haha.

Like @mommywesley said, I'm more nervous about bad weather in the middle of January in Pennsylvania. But we live literally one block from a small community hospital. They don't have an OB unit, but in the event of a blizzard, I guess it's better than my car on the side of the road in a snow drift somewhere.

JLJ2012 · July 2016

How long was your first labor? My first was 16 hours (from first regular contractions I could consistently time to birth), my second was about 12. So faster, but not crazy fast. Was your first labor short? I think 40 minutes wouldn't be too bad as long as you call him when you first get consistent contractions. My husbands commute home is well over an hour. So, I am sort of in the same boat but not overly concerned about it.

TinaBelcher · July 2016

This makes me wonder what kind of rating you'd get if your water broke in an über

(just use a taxi instead lol)

poetryandoceans · July 2016

I mean, the sitcom trope of people giving birth in taxis has to exist for a reason, right? You could give that taxi driver a story he or she can dine out on for the rest of their life!!

julianna88-2 · July 2016

I wouldn't drive myself to the hospital but I don't think you will need to rush to the hospital unless you are high risk. I'm sure if worst come to worst take a taxis.

JennaLee1486 · July 2016

If you've been in labor you're going to know for sure that you're in labor again. Even if your husband took an hour to get home, there's no way you'd have a baby THAT fast.....

cjs260 · July 2016

So, my friend ended up moving here and had to leave his pregnant wife in a city 8 hours away. She called him when she thought labor was starting, and he made it with a couple of hours to spare!

Vivi20 · July 2016

Start to finish, my labor+delivery was 15 hours. My water broke first, and the contractions didn't start really hurting until, I want to say...2 hours later? I considered bad weather, too, but we rarely get very bad winters. But watch, now that I said that, we have some epic snowstorm this year.

EH112212 · July 2016

My husband works overnights and delivers medical equipment to hospitals all over the Chicago area. He was actually pretty far south when I called and told him that he might want to come home. He was about 50 minutes from his office, and then an extra 30 minutes to home. Pretty sure the garage went up about 45 minutes later.
I would say just call him as soon as you feel contractions start, when I called my doctor he said to wait until my contractions were ten minutes apart for an hour before going to the hospital. Hopefully if you get a hold of him right away, he will be home in plenty of time.

LCartee2016 · July 2016

I absolutely understand the concern too! Also, sometimes we get freak icey weather that time of year and where I live is kind of difficult to get to if the roads are bad. I think if the worse case situation happened(icey roads + hubby at work) , I would call my mom and dad (they live about 10 minutes away) or possibly an ambulance, if the roads aren't too bad.

ThePax89 · July 2016

My husband works 40 minutes away, 1.5 hours in traffic and he takes the train there.

With my first, I went to my midwife appointment at 40+4 where my daughter's heart rate went bananas on the NST, and was sent to the hospital. I drove myself. I parked myself in the parking garage too...I wasn't in active labor, but I had no idea if my child was alive.

Moral of the story, he managed to get a ride to the hospital, and arrived 1.5 hours later. I went into labor that night in the hospital.

sweetyjenj · July 2016

Just thought about it, but maybe even an Uber? Depending on where you live, there are often Uber's within 5-10 min away. Cheaper than an ambulance. If it's not an option, than a taxi maybe. Trusted neighbor? Family? At least someone that can get you there and your DH can meet you at the hospital if that ends up being the case.
DH works a while away, too, but we work same hours. So if i go into labor during the day when he's working, chances are I'll be working, too, unless I'm on leave already.

Vivi20 · July 2016

I think if I had to, I'd call my sister or brother in law, then worst case scenario, the ambulance.

hjmorgan-2 · July 2016

My husband just got a new job, and it will take him about an hour-hour and a half depending on traffic to get back. I'm fortunate that my parents live right down the street. Although I'm going to try and not get too concerned about it. My SIL had her water break at work, was able to drive herself home and it was still several hours until she went into active labor.

stumptownmama · July 2016

I'm terrified of this too. My first labor was really fast. My water broke at home and I arrived at the hospital 20 min later and was 10cm. Baby came in the next 1.5 hours. I'll be prepared to call an ambulance if I have to.

mjschenk · July 2016

I was worried about this with my first I specifically asked if my water broke how long did I have husband works 20 min away hospital is 15 min, he said within an hour would be ok.

amaren-2 · July 2016

I don't think I till have that problem because DH gets off work well before I do. The only issue is he works in the other side of a bridge from the house and hospital. That bridge is notorious for having bad accidents and being backed up.

I work literally across the street from the hospital i am giving birth at. if worse comes to worse I think I can drive over there real quick or walk (lol).. or of course get a co-worker to drive me.

SunsetSky · July 2016

I second the suggestion for family, neighbors, taxis, or a ride sharing service. Most people will be happy to help.

I am lucky. Hospital is only five minutes away and DH works 15 minutes from the hospital. Only problem we will have is if I am working at the time because it is 40 minutes from work to hospital for me. I would like to think I would know how close to labor I am though.

christac1010 · July 2016

At least you have plenty of time to set up a plan! I'm trying to figure out our plan now that I've read your post. Our home is less than 15 minutes away from the hospital where I'll be delivering. However we both work 45 minutes away from the hospital - in complete opposite directions. My insurance covers ambulance rides, but I still have to worry about DH getting there and how I'll get my car home from work (we can't leave cars overnight although I'm sure they'll make an exception - and I won't have a single care about it anyway).

ladysaceb · July 2016

You should have plenty of time to get to the hospital even with your DH being 40 minutes away. For the most part, labor doesn't sneak up on you so if your water breaks, or if you start having contractions you can let him know so he can head home. With my 4, we expected my 4th to be the fastest since I had already been through it so many times, but he was actually my longest labor.

Kristalyn85 · July 2016

I work 35 minutes north of my house, and the hospital is 15 minutes south of home. My water broke at work. I had time to clean the amniotic fluid off the classroom floor (it was a Friday night and that would be gross to leave), make copies, change clothes, get a garbage bag to sit on in the car, and drive to my house before contractions really picked up. It wasn't ideal, but it was doable to drive myself. My labor was quick (just over 6 hours), but was told not to drag my feet this time.

elvinnoe · July 2016

With DD1, I started having symptoms the night before (spotting, some nausea, more contractions than the usual BH) so the next morning I went to chill at a bookstore close to DH's job. I did go into labor that afternoon after all and it thankfully only took him a few minutes to get there. Turns out I have pretty fast labors! DD arrived three hours later!

Moral of the story - it might be nice to have a plan in place that works for you guys.

spano41 · July 2016

I'm very worried about this too. DH takes the train down town and it only runs during rush hour hours, so not in the middle of the day. My last labor I was mechanically induced (no pitosin) 2 weeks early when I wasn't dilated at all and it still only took 18hrs from start to finish. So I'm kind of worried this will be a quick labor. We have no family and haven't told friends yet. We will set up a lab for friends to watch DD eventually, but that still doesn't help because they all work during the day. So I'm basically driving myself or calling 911 if labor comes quickly. I thought about the uber idea, but I don't see myself wanting to uninstall, reinstall, and uninstall the car seat again and then haul it up to L&D. Ugh....this is kind of why I'm secretly hoping for another induction....but not an emergency one like last time!

mrsdela27 · July 2016

I wouldn't worry too much sweetie. My husband manages a restaurant about 25 minutes from home so I know the feeling of being alone a lot (and the fear of him not being home when your water breaks!). I'm about 14 weeks now but I hope to have a plan in place once the date gets close, eg. him being home more around the due date or having family and friends close-by on alert if it happens when I'm home alone. Just get something in place and don't go crazy worrying. You'll be just fine!

JessWeck · July 2016

I would drive, but only because I live on a military post and the hospital is literally in my backyard. The speed limit to the hospital is 20 MPH (no exaggeration). However, if I were to have to drive on the highway, no I would not drive myself. I would ask a friend/neighbor to drive me. As a military spouse, I understand your concern not knowing if your husband will make it in time. But honey, at least he's only a phone call away! You'll be ok

Call him as soon as those contractions start and are consistent. Be ready as soon as he arrives if you feel the need to go to the hospital right then and there. Good luck.

Knottie1443924966 · July 2016

@jlea05 I totally see your concern and it can be scary if youre by yourself. Have you two discussed a plan B driver. It could be a close neighbour or friend/family that lives close by. Then your husband can meet you at the hospital.

Vivi20 · July 2016

I talked to my sister, and she said she's going to be sure to stick close to home in the weeks leading up to my due date, that way if my husband is at work, she'll be nearby.

Carly79 · July 2016

I say come up with some just in case plans but don't worry about it too much. If your sister is going to watch your daughter, you could always have your sister take you and drop you at the door and then take your daughter where she is going to be staying with her. Also, talk to your husband about issues if you call and aren't in labor. That way, the moment you feel like something is happening you can call and when he gets home you may be ready to head to the hospital. And, as others have suggested, have some numbers to taxi companies close by or be prepared to call an ambulance. If you have any neighbors that you trust, you could talk to them ahead of time and see if any of them would be willing to drive you to the hospital too. Most likely it won't be a problem but always good to have some back up plans in place to ease the stress.

What if husband isn't home?

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