@mrsstuessy I am so sorry you have to be here with us but I'm glad you decided to come to this board. The ladies here as I'm sure you have already seen are a fantastically knowledgable and supportive group. They've helped me a lot and I hope you find the same thing!
@mrsstuessy I'm so sorry for your loss and that you are here, but we are happy to have you. I hope your stay is short and you find support here. As PP have said, the community here is wonderful.
Oh @AliciaGoose it certainly was stressful as all get out and hoping the stress doesn't delay my O lol BUT it turned out okay in that I don't think everyone hated me, which was my very insecure fear On a hilarious note, I'm looking through photos to post on Facebook and realized the only pics I got are of DH holding babies/young children and of me holding babies or holding dogs as if they were babies lmao. You know you're TTCAL when??!!
@rainbowturtles Ah!! Well I'm sorry it ended up being stressful but I'm happy you made it out on the other side. Hopefully the stress wasn't crazy enough to affect O. I've had points in my life where I was so stressed I didn't O or get AF for months. But that was when I was going through major transitions and I think the last time it happened I was in high school. Now that I'm TTC I always worry about my stress affecting O and that just makes me even more stressed. It's a terrible cycle!
@reneeannemm Ugh...my MIL did not mention the MC AT ALL! She is not an emotional person and I am trying to give her the benefit of the doubt that maybe she didn't know what to say. It just hurts that the rest of people in my life have seemed to move on
@mrsstuessy I am very sorry for your loss. I hope this board is helpful and that your stay here is short!
1. Got pregnant with our first baby in December. Found out at our 20 week ultrasound that I had a MMC at 18 weeks.
2. Currently in my TWW! We waited two cycles like our doctor suggested and this was the first cycle we've ever actually tried and planned. I've been charting my BBT for awhile now, but not getting OPK yet because I don't want to stress myself out! AF is due on 7/15-my 1 year anniversary is on 7/18 so I'm hoping for a nice surprise to give my husband (:
3. We had a big 4th of July party at our house! It was so much fun! A friend stopped by with her 2 week old infant (I told her it was totally okay when she asked ahead of time) However, as soon as I saw them I had to go to the other side of the backyard and quietly cried behind my sunglasses. The day before I had a mini panic/emotional episode and just got super pissed-That I'm not 7 months pregnant when I should be, that I don't have the carefree, easy-going approach to TTC. We just stopped birth control and waited to see what happened last time. I'm so mad I don't have the excited/naive approach anymore! I'm so jaded no ):
4. I wish I could play the piano! I was alway so jealous of my friends who had piano lessons when I was younger. I'd also love to knit!!!
Married to my DH 7/18/15 BFP 12/17/15 MMC @ 18 weeks 4/7/16
@BornReady we have been TTC for almost a year. I know it's not that long compared to most people but I feels like forever to me. We tried for 6 months before my Lois and I'm just getting ready to start my 5th cycle since. I guess I never really thought that it would be this hard when I first started TTC because I've always had a regular cycle and have been healthy my entire life. I just wasn't prepared for how complicated this whole process can be. Sorry for the pitty party.
@MooFish2364 No way is that a pity party, how you feel is totally justified and I'm sure relatable to everyone here. No such thing as the "pain olympics" on this board, it all just hurts. I'm very similar to you in that I always assumed we would have no problem as I was/am super regular and young. I also didn't necessarily worry about DH because he had a prior pregnancy before meeting me. I wish more people talked about how truly hard making a baby really is.
@Moofish2364@Bornready - I felt the same way I never thought I would have this problem either. ( I guess no one does). We are on a similar timeline DH and I tried for 8 months prior to mc and this is my fourth cycle post mc. Sometimes I'm just in disbelief when I go on fb and see a new pg announcement how can everyone else get pg? I feel like I'm probably doing more than the average person to ttgp and still not pg. I feel like i just want an answer as to why it seems to take me so much longer.
@reneeannemm Once I'm brave enough, I promise I'll share . My shop is tiny with only a few designs so far, but I hope to add a bunch more before the holiday season.
@MooFish2364 Fireworks every night for a YEAR? That's madness. I'm glad you've stayed sane!
@mrsstuessy Welcome, and I'm very sorry for your loss. This is a great community to lean on for support.
2. Status (WTO, TWW, Benched, etc.): BD time. Ovulating 3. Rants/raves: no complaints, at the moment. I am feeling much better after being sick last week.
4. GTKY: What's a life skill you wish you had? On the flip side of that, do you have any what might be called hidden talents?
i wish I were a little better at the visual arts. I'm horrible at drawing, painting, and even cake decorating. Idk if it's hidden, but I am a really good baker (especially sweets
Me: 28 DH: 29 Married: 4-25-2014 TTC: March 2015 BFP: 2-18-16 Confirmed MMC: 3-31-16 D&C: 4-2-16 TTCAL: May 2016 IUI: 5/13/17-Femara and Trigger, POAS 5/27/17 BFP 5/27/17
Thanks ladies. I really feel like I just want some answers. I have a hard time believing that it just takes some people one cycle and others 12. There has to be something to it. Especially when most people get pregnant without trying and others time sex perfectly and still have trouble.
@shae86 sorry...I meant to say a week. I really need to slow down and proof read.
Im 52 days post D&C and I swear my HPTs were stark white negative in early June. I have a very very very faint squinter of a line today when I tested for shits and giggles. DH and I had unprotected sex 9 days ago where he pulled out. Could this really be possible? I had emailed my Dr to get an HCG test today because of my D&C.
I really wouldn't have been concerned about it if I hadn't started having slight nausea this week and needed to go to bed at 8:45. My temps are in the mid 97 range, so it really dowant seem possible. Has anyone else had HCG creep back up after a D&C??? What is going on??
@MooFish2364 I'm on my fifth cycle post loss, too. If we don't succeed, and excuse my negativity for assuming we won't, we've got one more to make this a year with no successful pregnancy. It sucks. It hurts and I'm sick of TTC.
I did bring this up with the doctor because I have one 5 cm fibroid, went for an internal ultrasound, tried to get an appointment to discuss the results and was rebuffed saying they'll call me in IF there is something to discuss. I have to, for sake of my sanity, believe the fibroid shrunk (measured just after pregnancy) or is in a place that is obviously not a problem.
@allysundunn2 Yes, I know. Grief is not something people like to discuss outside a very small window and when you need their support most, it seems they've all moved on.
@chloe97 Obviously I have zero experience, so I hope the doctor sees you soon and has reasonable, swift answers.
Renee, 34 + Devon, 29 married 08/13 TTC 09/15 *TW Loss mentioned* BFP 12/15/15 EDD: 08/26/16 MMC discovered 1/25/16 at 9 +3 TTCAL 3/2016 Acupuncture 11/16 Dx December 2016: unexplained January 2017: 50 mg Clomid + TI = BFP #2 01/30/17 Please be a sticky baby! EDD: 10/15/17 Measuring ahead! 10/12/17 Ambrose born on his due date!
@chloe97 I had a d&c and had positive HPTs for about two weeks. Im thinking you could be KU or you might have some retained tissue. I'm not an expert, but from my research it seems like when people have retained tissue they have other symptoms like foul smelling discharge, bleeding, and cramps. I think it's smart to have your doctor rum betas just to be sure.
@chloe97 I don't have any experience with this but I hope the betas give you answers. The only thing I can think is you are KU or maybe the squinter is an indent or Evap? Good luck.
@chloe97 I'm so sorry you're in such a confusing spot. My first thought would be an evap line or retained tissue rather than a true BFP. Given what you told us, it just seems unlikely. Did you test with more than one HPT? I hope you get answers soon!
1. Started TTC in Nov '15. MC in Dec. at 7 wks. Second MC in April at 10wks (BO).
2. Benched until my thyroid gets its shit together and we rerun some tests. I have an appointment with an endocrinologist in a couple weeks who has experience dealing with Hashi's and pregnancy (she did an OBGYN residency), and I'm really excited to meet with her. Both my OB and my PCP have kind of thrown up their hands and said "WTF?" about my thyroid, so it's time to escalate this to a specialist I think. We're also waiting until we can rerun the APS antibody tests in Aug. to confirm/rule out APS. If everything goes perfectly, we can start TTC again at the end of Aug. If my thyroid is being bitchy, it will be at least end of September.
3. Rant: I'm feeling extra sad this week about how much time is passing. I should be 34 or 22 wks pregnant right now, and instead I'm sitting here on the MFing bench. Also, my mom basically disowned me this weekend bc I wouldn't send her any more money, which leaves me with no family other than DH. I'm dealing with guilt and grief over that too, and this week just sucks.
Rave: we finally get to pick up our puppy next week!!!! So excited for puppy cuddles!!!
4. I wish I could speak other languages. I'm hopeless at speaking bc I get so worried about speaking "perfectly". I don't really have any hidden skills, but I think I'm a decent cook and and have a pretty good memory.
Thanks guys. If the timing didn't line up (we had sex 10 days ago) and my boobs didn't hurt, I wouldn't be so freaked out. Also just had a rush of what could be pregnancy leukorhea that I was hoping was blood.
I can't imagine that this pregnancy (if it is indeed that) could EVER be viable. Would the lining have built up enough in 41 days since the procedure? I just CANNOT go through another doomed pregnancy. Like emotionally I can't handle it.
@chloe97 Try to remember that elevated progesterone in the luteal phase can cause the same symptoms as early pregnancy. Nausea, sore boobs, and CM changes in all. I'll keep my fingers crossed that this was an evap. Hugs.
@RiverSong15 I've been through similar things with my mother, albeit more than ten years ago. If you ever want to talk about it, my heart is open. Also about languages - same same same. It's why I swear my French got worse after almost three years in French city.
Renee, 34 + Devon, 29 married 08/13 TTC 09/15 *TW Loss mentioned* BFP 12/15/15 EDD: 08/26/16 MMC discovered 1/25/16 at 9 +3 TTCAL 3/2016 Acupuncture 11/16 Dx December 2016: unexplained January 2017: 50 mg Clomid + TI = BFP #2 01/30/17 Please be a sticky baby! EDD: 10/15/17 Measuring ahead! 10/12/17 Ambrose born on his due date!
Gahhhhh! Crap @chloe97 ! I don't even know which thoughts to send your way! Obviously I want you to be KU but NOT if you think there's no chance of viability! I guess I'll just focus on thoughts of peace and serenity and answers for you
@chloe97 if it helps calm the nerves, my OB wanted us to try starting 2 weeks after d&c as all studies now show that the best chance at successful pregnancy is within 3 months after loss (not my case obviously, but science shows). I had the same worries until he explained that a normal cycle you only have 14-20 days for lining to build up once AF stops and you had just as much time as any one since your d&c to build a lining. Lots of thoughts for calm nerves and good news.
Thanks @reneeannemm. Right now I just don't know how to handle all my feelings about my mom. I'm angry, sad, depressed, guilty, ashamed, and defiant about things all in the space of an hour and it's just exhausting. How do you handle losing a family member this way? I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place - either I'm a horrible person for cutting my mother off or I have to let her slowly bleed us dry financially. There's no good choice here. Ugh.
Thank you @SnobunnieMel that actually is very reassuring. I would have had 41 days to build up lining before conceptuon. I just worry about the egg quality issue since that is my reasons for past losses. Ive read new studies that show the first few eggs after pregnancy are typically not good eggs. My body like to hold on to bad embryos longer than most people and I just cannot do another 13 week doomed pregnancy. I cannot believe we even took the risk knowing how easily we get KU-d. I just assumed it wasn't even possible this month.
@chloe97 I completely understand that feeling. I unfortunately had a CP when I got pregnant right after my d&c. And then another the next time we tried to I understand your feelings of "why did we even try". It's because we hope for the best despite all we have been through. i am kicking myself for our accident we had this month and have already come to terms with it may end the same way as the last 2 if anything comes of it. I'm so sorry that this horrible fear and weight it upon you
@RiverSong15 I think what's really important for the moment is you accept all the feelings you're experiencing, however rapidly they come at you, as real and valid. There's time when you're less in shock to sift through and deal with them. You deserve a happy, healthy life and that means that toxicity needs to be dealt with, no matter who the person is bringing it into your life. In parental relationships, boundaries need to be maintained because she is forever the parent and you are forever the child. There is a line between asking for support and taking advantage of a person - even when related by blood. You are not a horrible person. You are a person who is doing the right thing for right now and you have held on and tried other solutions, which is all you can do. You matter and you are doing the best you can.
TW --- child and sexual abuse mentioned ---
For context: my mother was a mix of wonderful and terrible. She's generous and gregarious. She was raised in a terribly, sickeningly abusive home and wanted to break that cycle with me. My maternal grandfather is a pedophile and she is the only one of his kids to keep their kids away from him.(Un)fortunately she did that by keeping me away from her family for the most part and raising me in a strict millenial doomsday religion. She has major anger issues and was very abusive towards me, though. Her mind began to slip even more as I reached adolescence but the religion didn't allow psychiatric help. Her pride also played a part in her spinning towards a place where I couldn't help. By 18, it got so bad I feared for my life. So I broke away. And I never looked back. And I worked really hard on learning to end toxic relationships before I feared for my life. I worked really hard to work through various traumas of my own that came later. I learned to cultivate community (which is really what family is the base of) in a way that was healthy for me and allows me to feel a part of something and serves to uplift. And I am, despite everything life has thrown at me, doing really well overall. I am the one who gets to stop the cycle of abuse and I feel so very lucky to be there.
---- TW over ----
Keep in mind that just because things are this way right now, doesn't mean they will always be. There may come a time when she takes the initiative and helps herself and makes sure there is room for you to be in her life in a healthy, positive and loving way. If that time doesn't come, at least you'll have done the hard work to get to a place where you know you did the right thing and you'll have cultivated other, new positive connections with people who can give as much as you do.
If you ever need to talk in private, that's OK, too.
Renee, 34 + Devon, 29 married 08/13 TTC 09/15 *TW Loss mentioned* BFP 12/15/15 EDD: 08/26/16 MMC discovered 1/25/16 at 9 +3 TTCAL 3/2016 Acupuncture 11/16 Dx December 2016: unexplained January 2017: 50 mg Clomid + TI = BFP #2 01/30/17 Please be a sticky baby! EDD: 10/15/17 Measuring ahead! 10/12/17 Ambrose born on his due date!
Can def relate to the feelings on this thread, and the range of emotions that only this group can understand. Wishing you all luck in this cycle and the strength to deal with it all.
I'm doing ok - was away for the long weekend and was feeling like my normal happy self, surrounded by baby free friends and a party enviroment (went to a weekend of concerts in the saratoga area- just beautiful!!) We partied, we laughed, I drank and just let loose. I havent been able to do that in about 6 months. I still poas daily as i am wto right now, and we bd'd regularly on the trip just in case - but now that I am back to reality, it's sinking in that I never dot a positive test this month or last month. Af is supposed to be here in 6 days and no positive test all month, no real signs, no ovulation pain like usual. And it's starting to hit me that next month it will mark a year of ttc and that will hurt.
Me:35, DH 37 ~ Married July 2014 ttc July 2015 ~ bfp Nov 2015 (cp) bfp Dec 2015 ~ (tfmr 17wk, March 2016, genetic disease) ttcal May 2016
@chloe97 we had an "accident" about three-four weeks after my d&c and I was freaking out at the possibility of being KU. My dr also assured me that it would be ok if I was KU, and I would not have an increased chance of MC. I know that you have other concerns specific to your eggs, and this probably doesn't assuage those concerns, but I'm thinking of you and sending positive thoughts for the best!
@chloe97 gah! I know 2 people personally who conceived with the PO method so it is very much a possibility and scary AF because dh and I used PO method pretty much for the past 9 years aside from ttc of course. I'm sending tons of good vibes your way, that it works out the best way for you and dh.
TW*** Child and loss mentioned Married 10/12 DS 11/14 Ectopic 2/16 PCOS/Ovulation Dysfunction 11/16 IUI x 3- BFN Laparoscopy 3/17 Endo and tubal damage IVF- 4/17- 40 eggs retrieved, 10 blasts, 7 pgs tested embryos FET- 6/17- BFP! Due Feb 15, 2017
Thanks @brooklyngirl18 and @Amdogger82. I'm just amazed at both our stupidity and our freaking luck. I mean in a 50+ day cycle that we only had sex 2-3 during, we magically pick the most fertile day to try POM for the FIRST TIME and it actually gets me pregnant?!? I just have to believe if this is actually the case that this pregnancy is our miracle rainbow baby because otherwise it's just so cruel!!
I got the beta and will let you all know how it comes back tomorrow.
@chloe97 wishing you the best possible outcome. I'll be checking for your update tomorrow.
@RiverSong15 I'm so sorry about the situation with your mom. Setting boundaries is hard but when you do, the other person's reaction is very telling of the state of the relationship. I am sorry your mother did this to you. You are not her personal ATM and you have a lot on your plate right now. You did the absolute right thing. I understand your feeling of sadness and grief. I hope your mother can come around and see your side of things. Hugs to you.
****TW: Pregnancy,
loss and children mentioned****
Me (39) DH (40)
From my first marriage DD: 03/04 CP:01/06 DS:12/06
DH- no kids
******************
TTC: since 2/15, RE Consult 9/15
IUI #1 10/15: Letrozole = BFN
IUI #2 11/15: Letrozole + trigger = BFN
1/08/16: Surprise- BFP!! 2/16/16: MMC @10w
2days, D&C: 2/17/16
TTCAL: May 2016
IUI #3 5/27/16: Letrozole+trigger=BFN
IUI #4 06/24/16: 7.5mg Letrozole+trigger= BFN
IUI#5 08/24/16 Menopur+trigger = BFN
IUI #6 09/19/16 5 mg Letrozole +Menopur + Trigger=
BFN
**10/2016: No more medicated cycles, TTCAL on our
own** 12/03/16: BFP!! EDD: 08/12/17 It's a girl!! Eleni was born on 8/14/17!!
Guys I am a freaking idiot. So because I'm still waiting on AF, I took both the OPK and the HPT at the same time. I put them next to each other and the OPK contaminated the HPT. I had no idea this was a thing before I googled false positives on Wondfos. I did the experiment tonight again to see what would happen and sure enough the HPT put next to the OPK was positive and the HPT that was set apart was stark white.
So yeah, your PSA for the day: Don't put your test strips next to each other.
Sorry for the drama!! I swear I wasn't trying to AW.
Wow I'm so late on this check in! So many things happening!
2. Benched due to insulin resistance. I am finishing a month of diet and took new blood and urin tests today. On Monday I have appointments with doctors to see how I'm doing. Maybe they will give me medicines too.
3. Rave: I am going to a super fun photography excursion this Saturday! On a national park with photographer and botanist guides to get the best advise. Rant: just got my period. At least I will be on day 4 of my period on Saturday, it could have been much worse!
4. Talent I wish for. I wish I was a better cook. Don't get me wrongn, I manage and I follow recipes, but I don't improvise or create things. I can decorate them though!!!
Talents I have. I have always been interested in art. I played the piano my whole childhood and loved it, I was pretty good at it too. Now I am more into classical singing, I sing in a choir and also as a soloist in my local church (soprano).
I am also very much into the visual arts. Currently I am more interested in watercolour and brush handwriting (lettering).
Married 06.21.14 / TTC since 11.15 / BFP 01.03.2016 / MMC 6w5d D&C 02.2016 // BFP 05.06.16 / natural MC 05.12.16 Benched 06.2016-08.2016 / TTC again 09.2016! On a diet. Cranky. BFP 10.02.2016 / NT scan at 12w looked normal / Anatomy scan at 20w everything ok Team blue! / EDD June 11th 2017 DAVID ROGER was born on May 23rd at 37 weeks.
Architect, Peruvian living in Chile. I love art, opera and good chocolate. Started PhD studies in Architecture on 2017. Fur mom of a rescued miniature poodle called Luke Skywalker.
I would have NEVER thought that was a thing! Google saves the day. Sorry for the emotional roller coaster I'm sure this caused. Geesh. Hope you're holding up okay.
Regarding the PO method, it's my form of birth control when I'm not TTC. DH and I have used it exclusively for 5 years, and we have a pretty active love life. When done correctly (meaning 100% trust, and he pulls out several seconds early), it's extremely effective. The first month we stopped preventing, I got pregnant. It's not for everyone, but it does work as long as it's done right.
Re: TTCAL Check-In July 4th
Married: November 2015
TTC#1: January 2016
BFP: 5/02/16 - MC: 5/27/16
Married 10/12
DS 11/14
Ectopic 2/16
PCOS/Ovulation Dysfunction 11/16
IUI x 3- BFN
Laparoscopy 3/17 Endo and tubal damage
IVF- 4/17- 40 eggs retrieved, 10 blasts, 7 pgs tested embryos
FET- 6/17- BFP!
Due Feb 15, 2017
Married: November 2015
TTC#1: January 2016
BFP: 5/02/16 - MC: 5/27/16
@mrsstuessy I am very sorry for your loss. I hope this board is helpful and that your stay here is short!
Edited for grammar
2. Currently in my TWW! We waited two cycles like our doctor suggested and this was the first cycle we've ever actually tried and planned. I've been charting my BBT for awhile now, but not getting OPK yet because I don't want to stress myself out! AF is due on 7/15-my 1 year anniversary is on 7/18 so I'm hoping for a nice surprise to give my husband (:
3. We had a big 4th of July party at our house! It was so much fun! A friend stopped by with her 2 week old infant (I told her it was totally okay when she asked ahead of time) However, as soon as I saw them I had to go to the other side of the backyard and quietly cried behind my sunglasses. The day before I had a mini panic/emotional episode and just got super pissed-That I'm not 7 months pregnant when I should be, that I don't have the carefree, easy-going approach to TTC. We just stopped birth control and waited to see what happened last time. I'm so mad I don't have the excited/naive approach anymore! I'm so jaded no ):
4. I wish I could play the piano! I was alway so jealous of my friends who had piano lessons when I was younger. I'd also love to knit!!!
BFP 12/17/15
MMC @ 18 weeks 4/7/16
@kmkremp7 - I'm sorry you had a difficult time at your 45th of July. A newborn coming would be really tough for me too!
@MooFish2364 Fireworks every night for a YEAR? That's madness. I'm glad you've stayed sane!
@mrsstuessy Welcome, and I'm very sorry for your loss. This is a great community to lean on for support.
Me: 29, DH: 34
BD time. Ovulating
3. Rants/raves:
no complaints, at the moment. I am feeling much better after being sick last week.
4. GTKY: What's a life skill you wish you had? On the flip side of that, do you have any what might be called hidden talents?
i wish I were a little better at the visual arts. I'm horrible at drawing, painting, and even cake decorating. Idk if it's hidden, but I am a really good baker (especially sweets
Married: 4-25-2014
TTC: March 2015
BFP: 2-18-16
Confirmed MMC: 3-31-16
D&C: 4-2-16
TTCAL: May 2016
IUI: 5/13/17-Femara and Trigger, POAS 5/27/17 BFP 5/27/17
@shae86 sorry...I meant to say a week. I really need to slow down and proof read.
Im 52 days post D&C and I swear my HPTs were stark white negative in early June. I have a very very very faint squinter of a line today when I tested for shits and giggles. DH and I had unprotected sex 9 days ago where he pulled out. Could this really be possible? I had emailed my Dr to get an HCG test today because of my D&C.
I really wouldn't have been concerned about it if I hadn't started having slight nausea this week and needed to go to bed at 8:45. My temps are in the mid 97 range, so it really dowant seem possible. Has anyone else had HCG creep back up after a D&C??? What is going on??
I did bring this up with the doctor because I have one 5 cm fibroid, went for an internal ultrasound, tried to get an appointment to discuss the results and was rebuffed saying they'll call me in IF there is something to discuss. I have to, for sake of my sanity, believe the fibroid shrunk (measured just after pregnancy) or is in a place that is obviously not a problem.
@shae86 Deal.
@allysundunn2 Yes, I know. Grief is not something people like to discuss outside a very small window and when you need their support most, it seems they've all moved on.
@chloe97 Obviously I have zero experience, so I hope the doctor sees you soon and has reasonable, swift answers.
TTC 09/15
*TW Loss mentioned*
BFP 12/15/15 EDD: 08/26/16
MMC discovered 1/25/16 at 9 +3
TTCAL 3/2016
Acupuncture 11/16
Dx December 2016: unexplained
January 2017: 50 mg Clomid + TI =
BFP #2 01/30/17 Please be a sticky baby!
EDD: 10/15/17 Measuring ahead! 10/12/17
Ambrose born on his due date!
Married: November 2015
TTC#1: January 2016
BFP: 5/02/16 - MC: 5/27/16
2. Benched until my thyroid gets its shit together and we rerun some tests. I have an appointment with an endocrinologist in a couple weeks who has experience dealing with Hashi's and pregnancy (she did an OBGYN residency), and I'm really excited to meet with her. Both my OB and my PCP have kind of thrown up their hands and said "WTF?" about my thyroid, so it's time to escalate this to a specialist I think. We're also waiting until we can rerun the APS antibody tests in Aug. to confirm/rule out APS. If everything goes perfectly, we can start TTC again at the end of Aug. If my thyroid is being bitchy, it will be at least end of September.
3. Rant: I'm feeling extra sad this week about how much time is passing. I should be 34 or 22 wks pregnant right now, and instead I'm sitting here on the MFing bench. Also, my mom basically disowned me this weekend bc I wouldn't send her any more money, which leaves me with no family other than DH. I'm dealing with guilt and grief over that too, and this week just sucks.
Rave: we finally get to pick up our puppy next week!!!! So excited for puppy cuddles!!!
4. I wish I could speak other languages. I'm hopeless at speaking bc I get so worried about speaking "perfectly". I don't really have any hidden skills, but I think I'm a decent cook and and have a pretty good memory.
I can't imagine that this pregnancy (if it is indeed that) could EVER be viable. Would the lining have built up enough in 41 days since the procedure? I just CANNOT go through another doomed pregnancy. Like emotionally I can't handle it.
Etf words
TTC 09/15
*TW Loss mentioned*
BFP 12/15/15 EDD: 08/26/16
MMC discovered 1/25/16 at 9 +3
TTCAL 3/2016
Acupuncture 11/16
Dx December 2016: unexplained
January 2017: 50 mg Clomid + TI =
BFP #2 01/30/17 Please be a sticky baby!
EDD: 10/15/17 Measuring ahead! 10/12/17
Ambrose born on his due date!
i am kicking myself for our accident we had this month and have already come to terms with it may end the same way as the last 2 if anything comes of it. I'm so sorry that this horrible fear and weight it upon you
TW --- child and sexual abuse mentioned ---
For context: my mother was a mix of wonderful and terrible. She's generous and gregarious. She was raised in a terribly, sickeningly abusive home and wanted to break that cycle with me. My maternal grandfather is a pedophile and she is the only one of his kids to keep their kids away from him.(Un)fortunately she did that by keeping me away from her family for the most part and raising me in a strict millenial doomsday religion. She has major anger issues and was very abusive towards me, though. Her mind began to slip even more as I reached adolescence but the religion didn't allow psychiatric help. Her pride also played a part in her spinning towards a place where I couldn't help. By 18, it got so bad I feared for my life. So I broke away. And I never looked back. And I worked really hard on learning to end toxic relationships before I feared for my life. I worked really hard to work through various traumas of my own that came later. I learned to cultivate community (which is really what family is the base of) in a way that was healthy for me and allows me to feel a part of something and serves to uplift. And I am, despite everything life has thrown at me, doing really well overall. I am the one who gets to stop the cycle of abuse and I feel so very lucky to be there.
---- TW over ----
Keep in mind that just because things are this way right now, doesn't mean they will always be. There may come a time when she takes the initiative and helps herself and makes sure there is room for you to be in her life in a healthy, positive and loving way. If that time doesn't come, at least you'll have done the hard work to get to a place where you know you did the right thing and you'll have cultivated other, new positive connections with people who can give as much as you do.
If you ever need to talk in private, that's OK, too.
TTC 09/15
*TW Loss mentioned*
BFP 12/15/15 EDD: 08/26/16
MMC discovered 1/25/16 at 9 +3
TTCAL 3/2016
Acupuncture 11/16
Dx December 2016: unexplained
January 2017: 50 mg Clomid + TI =
BFP #2 01/30/17 Please be a sticky baby!
EDD: 10/15/17 Measuring ahead! 10/12/17
Ambrose born on his due date!
I'm doing ok - was away for the long weekend and was feeling like my normal happy self, surrounded by baby free friends and a party enviroment (went to a weekend of concerts in the saratoga area- just beautiful!!) We partied, we laughed, I drank and just let loose. I havent been able to do that in about 6 months. I still poas daily as i am wto right now, and we bd'd regularly on the trip just in case - but now that I am back to reality, it's sinking in that I never dot a positive test this month or last month. Af is supposed to be here in 6 days and no positive test all month, no real signs, no ovulation pain like usual. And it's starting to hit me that next month it will mark a year of ttc and that will hurt.
ttc July 2015 ~ bfp Nov 2015 (cp)
bfp Dec 2015 ~ (tfmr 17wk, March 2016, genetic disease)
ttcal May 2016
Married 10/12
DS 11/14
Ectopic 2/16
PCOS/Ovulation Dysfunction 11/16
IUI x 3- BFN
Laparoscopy 3/17 Endo and tubal damage
IVF- 4/17- 40 eggs retrieved, 10 blasts, 7 pgs tested embryos
FET- 6/17- BFP!
Due Feb 15, 2017
I got the beta and will let you all know how it comes back tomorrow.
@RiverSong15 I'm so sorry about the situation with your mom. Setting boundaries is hard but when you do, the other person's reaction is very telling of the state of the relationship. I am sorry your mother did this to you. You are not her personal ATM and you have a lot on your plate right now. You did the absolute right thing. I understand your feeling of sadness and grief. I hope your mother can come around and see your side of things. Hugs to you.
Me (39) DH (40)
From my first marriage DD: 03/04 CP:01/06 DS:12/06
DH- no kids
******************
TTC: since 2/15, RE Consult 9/15
IUI #1 10/15: Letrozole = BFN
IUI #2 11/15: Letrozole + trigger = BFN
1/08/16: Surprise- BFP!! 2/16/16: MMC @10w 2days, D&C: 2/17/16
TTCAL: May 2016
IUI #3 5/27/16: Letrozole+trigger=BFN
IUI #4 06/24/16: 7.5mg Letrozole+trigger= BFN
IUI#5 08/24/16 Menopur+trigger = BFN
IUI #6 09/19/16 5 mg Letrozole +Menopur + Trigger= BFN
**10/2016: No more medicated cycles, TTCAL on our own**
12/03/16: BFP!! EDD: 08/12/17 It's a girl!!
Eleni was born on 8/14/17!!
So yeah, your PSA for the day: Don't put your test strips next to each other.
Sorry for the drama!! I swear I wasn't trying to AW.
That was a lot of stress you certainly did not need!!! Hope you're doing okay
2. Benched due to insulin resistance. I am finishing a month of diet and took new blood and urin tests today. On Monday I have appointments with doctors to see how I'm doing. Maybe they will give me medicines too.
3. Rave: I am going to a super fun photography excursion this Saturday! On a national park with photographer and botanist guides to get the best advise.
Rant: just got my period. At least I will be on day 4 of my period on Saturday, it could have been much worse!
4. Talent I wish for. I wish I was a better cook. Don't get me wrongn, I manage and I follow recipes, but I don't improvise or create things. I can decorate them though!!!
Talents I have. I have always been interested in art. I played the piano my whole childhood and loved it, I was pretty good at it too. Now I am more into classical singing, I sing in a choir and also as a soloist in my local church (soprano).
I am also very much into the visual arts. Currently I am more interested in watercolour and brush handwriting (lettering).
BFP 01.03.2016 / MMC 6w5d D&C 02.2016 // BFP 05.06.16 / natural MC 05.12.16
Benched 06.2016-08.2016 / TTC again 09.2016! On a diet. Cranky.
BFP 10.02.2016 / NT scan at 12w looked normal / Anatomy scan at 20w everything ok
Team blue! / EDD June 11th 2017
DAVID ROGER was born on May 23rd at 37 weeks.
Architect, Peruvian living in Chile. I love art, opera and good chocolate.
Started PhD studies in Architecture on 2017.
Fur mom of a rescued miniature poodle called Luke Skywalker.
I would have NEVER thought that was a thing! Google saves the day. Sorry for the emotional roller coaster I'm sure this caused. Geesh. Hope you're holding up okay.
Regarding the PO method, it's my form of birth control when I'm not TTC. DH and I have used it exclusively for 5 years, and we have a pretty active love life. When done correctly (meaning 100% trust, and he pulls out several seconds early), it's extremely effective. The first month we stopped preventing, I got pregnant. It's not for everyone, but it does work as long as it's done right.
Me: 29, DH: 34