Anyone else hate being pregnant?

emy730 · July 2016

This is my second go around, and while I am so grateful to be able to have children, I find the process of pregnancy to be awful.

I feel sick almost constantly, and I feel like my body isn't my own.

I have a ton of guilt for feeling this way, but I just don't like being pregnant at all. I am excited to be a mom to this new baby, and I love being a mom to my daughter, it's just getting there is no fun.

awknyc · July 2016

I totally understand how you're feeling. It's just not about you anymore. You have to constantly watch what you eat, be extra cautious with your body, limit your activity etc. I love the fact that I'm pregnant, but actually being pregnant is another story. It's a long and hard process! I have a daughter, this is my second and we want to go for a third eventually. I'm a twin myself, so I was secretly hoping this pregnancy I would have twins so I wouldn't have to get pregnant another time. Being pregnant is no cakewalk, but I keep telling myself it's only 9 months of my life. I think it's okay to feel that way, everyone is entitled to their emotions.

SunsetSky · July 2016

Maybe I am weird, but I like learning about my body and why it does the things it does. For that reason I liked TTC and like being pregnant. It is a process yes, but the ends justify the means.

canavara · July 2016

I love it but I could totally see myself hating it so easily, if I let myself.

It gets tiring having people ask you "oh surely you must not feel sick anymore after this long, feelin' good yet huh?" and having to be like, "Au contraire, asshole!" And dealing with people's weird, snarky backhanded comments and ignorance about pregnancy.

But I just feel like 9 months is too long to let myself get swept up in that negativity so I reframe the emotion by journaling to remind myself why I'm here, doing this, and also just to remind myself that being a woman and being able to carry life is really freaking awesome. Each week is a stepping stone, and scientifically, it's fascinating (favorite thing to think of is "if this were a girl, she'd have all of her eggs by now, and I'm carrying HER future children inside of me right now too!"). Just little things like that keep my head above water, even if the day-to-day can feel terrible.

FWIW, I don't think you should feel guilt though. Not everyone loves pregnancy and that's totally OK.

ceillyang · July 2016

I could do without the gas and constipation. I'm sure DH agrees LOLOL

sweetyjenj · July 2016

Right now there's not I love about being pregnant, except the end goal. I hate being bloated and gassy and constipated. I hate feeling "icky" most of the day and getting queasy if I don't eat. I used to be able to go without food for a bit, and if I got really hungry I just dealt with it until i could eat. Now if I'm hungry, even a little, it makes me feel queasy. All that, on top of not being able to feel the baby yet. So it feels like I have all the symptoms, with no baby.
Once I can feel the baby moving and growing it'll be a WHOLE different story!

CAndrada · July 2016

I hate first trimester. I didn't mind the rest last time. We shall see this time.

katesmama0706 · July 2016

I hate the first trimester too. The sickness and the fatigue is really emotionally draining for me. But that being said, after I hit 13 weeks last time I felt better pregnant than I did normally so I loved the end of it. I actually got so much crap from people claiming I was lying when I said I didn't hurt, didn't hate every second and was sleeping well.
I hate that we can't feel the way we want to feel. Don't be guilty for hating it. Lots of moms hate the newborn stage but it doesn't make them bad moms. Lots of moms hate the toddler stage or the teenage stage or a certain age but it doesn't make them bad moms. Just like hating pregnancy doesn't mean you won't love your baby!

ChaoticWolf · July 2016

Having morning sickness and weird symptoms is no fun, however.... No. I don't hate being pregnant.

Too many women would kill to be in my position and I've worked too hard to get pregnant to hate it. I remind myself to be in the moment everyday with this pregnancy, because I am pregnant now, but there's no guarantee that I will be tomorrow. I can't hate my body for doing something I want it to do.

Knottie25816533 · July 2016

I totally understand! Granted this is my first pregnancy but there has been plenty of nights I lay wondering why I planned this... I think it's a normal feeling and yes I feel guilty also. I just hope the 2nd trimester is a different story!

Vivi20 · July 2016

I don't hate it. I don't enjoy the first trimester. It's emotionally and physically draining to feel sick for 3 months. I have an acquaintance who has been married for....6?...years, and her and her husband have been trying for that long to get pregnant. She wants a baby so bad and wants to experience pregnancy so, so badly. It's heartbreaking to witness how devastated it makes her. She is one of those ladies who will cry and be upset when she sees/hears pregnancy announcements. So I see that, and I recognize how incredibly blessed I am to be able to carry and birth babies, and it makes it pretty hard for me to dislike being pregnant.

emy730 · July 2016

I think if I could have a small reprieve from puking and constant nausea, I'd feel less negative. It stuck around last time, and I hope this time is different and I get a break.

katesmama0706 · July 2016

@emy730 good luck! It's so draining and hard to enjoy anything when you feel like death. It's like when people tell you to enjoy every moment with your new baby and you feel so guilty when you're cleaning up poop off your baby and yourself and your floor at 2 am and wondering how you're supposed to enjoy that.

TinaBelcher · July 2016

I'm definitely not enjoying myself yet. FTM here but we'll definitely never do this again.

Do NOT feel guilty for your feelings- they are valid and it doesn't make you a different kind of person for feeling them. Pregnancy just blows for some people.

emy730 · July 2016

@katesmama0706 yes, I remember being asked that on FB right after DD puked down the back of my shirt and then pooped everywhere.

poetryandoceans · July 2016

It's definitely made me wonder about the high quality rose coloured glasses some people seem to have when looking back on their own pregnancies. Like, this is really uncomfortable and there are things that are really hard about it, and I've got girlfriends (especially a few one and done girlfriends) who are sitting and talking to me about how lucky I am to be in this special time and how it's just so magical... and I just am dying for my uncomfortable and uncontrollable flatulence to erupt at that moment to express my feelings about that. Pregnancy is hard; the first tri is HARD. I've been spending a lot of time with friends with babies to remind myself what I'm doing this for.

There are some moments when I'm just so excited. Like when I was lying in bed two nights ago so quietly and I swear I felt the tiniest of flutters. And those moments keep me from saying I hate it. But, yeah, mostly, pregnancy is just hard.

emy730 · July 2016

@TinaBelcher I am sorry you're not enjoying yourself either. Hopefully things will start to look up for both of us soon.

BAJDesigns · July 2016

I am really grateful to be pregnant but I hate actually feeling pregnant too. I really just didn't anticipate how much and how quickly it would affect my body and my everyday ability to function. The morning sickness, weight loss, body aches, dizzy spells. Even with my morning sickness significantly easing up, I am still at 40% of my normal self. I don't think we should beat ourselves up for not being excited to feel like crap! I too hope that once second trimester fully sets in and I can feel baby wiggling around, I can enjoy more.

nolemomma14 · July 2016

I hate to say that I hate it, because I know so many women would give anything to be pregnant, but I kind of do hate it, or at least the first trimester. With my first I was sick until 16 weeks and I'm really hoping it doesn't last this long this time. I know it's all part of the process and of course I can not wait to have another baby, and feel those kicks but it's been really difficult. We have always talked about 3 or 4 kids, but I can honestly say I don't know if I could do it again, so 2 might be it for us, and I'm totally okay with that!

litzi-2 · July 2016

i did not like the first trimester. i'm hoping it gets better.

TinaBelcher · July 2016

nolemomma14 said:

I hate to say that I hate it, because I know so many women would give anything to be pregnant, but I kind of do hate it, or at least the first trimester.

Don't say it to a woman dealing with IF but otherwise don't feel bad, seriously! IF is hard and so is pregnancy, in different ways and on different scales.

Michellewfhs · July 2016

12W5D
I don't hate it, but I'm not enjoying it either. The MS, nausea, and headaches are a lot to deal with, but what has really started getting to me is that I feel like I've lost my identity a bit. All anyone talks to me about anymore is pregnancy and children. My husband and I wanted to start TTC in another year, but are both very grateful and excited to be parents regardless. I wasn't prepared for the identity change so soon. Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean it's the only topic of conversation I want in my life. It doesn't help that I went from a healthy, fit body weight to losing 12 lbs so far. I hate that people think it's OK to tell me I'm not going to have a healthy baby if I keep trying not to gain weight. Kind of hard to maintain much less gain weight for me right now when I'm struggling to keep food down still. Ok, end rant.

katesmama0706 · July 2016

Yes! What @TinaBelcher said! Don't ever look at a women TTC or with IF and tell them how awful it is. But feel free to hate away!
I had a really good friend, who had PPD at the time, look me in the face right after my MC and tell me that being pregnant was awful and having a newborn was worse and I literally didn't talk to her for 3 months because I couldn't deal with it. It hurt so bad. But her feelings were totally valid and allowed! Just not the place to express them.

emy730 · July 2016

What the what?! Who thinks that's okay to say to anyone? I had PPD with my first, but I would've never dreamed of saying something so hurtful.

nolemomma14 · July 2016

@TinaBelcher I love what you said about both being hard in their own and different ways. I've learned through these boards and meeting other moms that IF is more common than is known and that those who struggle with it go through so much. What I always thought was a simple question; "when are you going to start trying for babies"? Can be so hurtful to someone when you don't know that they've been trying for years and it just hasn't worked out. I love these boards because there is such a vast variety among us, and theres something to be learned from everyone's situation no matter how similar or different it is to our own.

Teach123 · July 2016

I am not a fan. I didn't enjoy it last time. I pretty much felt bad the whole time; just sick enough to basically feel like crap most of the time. This time around is going about the same. This is my last one though, so I keep telling myself I can do anything for 6 more months.

emy730 · July 2016

@Teach123 yep, that's my mantra too!

Vivi20 · July 2016

nolemomma14 said:

@TinaBelcher I love what you said about both being hard in their own and different ways. I've learned through these boards and meeting other moms that IF is more common than is known and that those who struggle with it go through so much. What I always thought was a simple question; "when are you going to start trying for babies"? Can be so hurtful to someone when you don't know that they've been trying for years and it just hasn't worked out. I love these boards because there is such a vast variety among us, and theres something to be learned from everyone's situation no matter how similar or different it is to our own.

This. In the past I would eagerly and excitedly ask couples about when they would have children. Not any more. It honestly never occurred to me before that the couple could be going through painful infertility; and I had no idea how common infertility is. I'm aware of that now and am always careful about that topic because I would hate to inadvertently hurt someone.

vssbrm · July 2016

I've loved every minute of it so far, granted we tried for 4 years and ended up having to do IVF. I'm relishing in all of the ups and downs. To be honest it just scares me when I'm feeling great and not crappy.

I hope you find a way to enjoy your time pregnant! Like the pp said, don't feel guilty about it. We each experience things differently, and the important thing is that you love your babies!

therealfrizzle · July 2016

I HATED being pregnant all first trimester. Constant nausea, dizziness, feeling useless, using up all my PTO cos I was so sick...I finally realized I hated being pregnant and spent days crying from guilt. But after talking with my mom and a friend who's been there, I felt better about my lack of love for pregnancy. I've been a ton better after getting into 2nd tri & stopped hating it as much. Some days, I actually go an hour without thinking about being pregnant. I am not thrilled with the all the symptoms or side effects of being pregnant, but I can keep my eyes on the end game better now.

aishmc · July 2016

I've been hating it up until this week. I was so pumped when we first found out, but then the morning sickness and fatigue knocked me on my ass. I was prescribed everything for hyperemesis and all the meds made me sleepy, but did not help at all. I felt so guilty for losing weight. I haven't vomited since Tuesday which I'm really excited about!

Also, since I had a vanishing twin I experienced a lot of bleeding and was given strict activity limitations. I had to quit softball and group training classes.

Now that the morning sickness and spotting are easing up I'm hoping I can start working out and be a normal human. Don't get me wrong, I love that I am making a person, but the process sucks.

christac1010 · July 2016

The first trimester is such a range of emotions. I was so excited when we found out, constantly exhausted, miserable from morning sickness, angry about food aversions, and my hormones had me bursting into tears over commercials. Now that I'm in the second trimester, I'm finally starting I enjoy being pregnant. But I'll be the first to admit that I can understand how this experience definitely isn't everyone's favorite time.

Also I would suggest the book "Pregnancy Sucks: What to do When Your Miracle Makes You Miserable." It helped me to laugh at the situation and know I wasn't alone in my feelings.

hjmorgan-2 · July 2016

I am so thankful for this baby, I love that I'm pregnant. But yes, I HATE the first tri symptoms! I wouldn't say I hate being pregnant because I feel honored that my body is working hard to create another human being. And no one else will ever be as close to this child as I am physically right now.
BUT! I'll admit, when I'm heaving over the toilet, recovering from the massive headaches, or trying my hardest not to fall asleep at my desk.... I think "Oh dear Lord, 9 more months... will I ever feel like a normal human being again??"

LCartee2016 · July 2016

I definitely don't like the symptoms, but I am enjoying learning about what my body and baby's body are doing as he/she grows. It's been a roller coaster already and I'm only 14 weeks in!

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