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Anyone relate> TTC with husband in blended family

hopeful99hopeful99 member
in Blended Families
So I remarried at 38 and we have children separate from each other. I have a child with my ex and he has two teenaged children with his ex..  TTC has been a nightmare for us.. we started after the wedding and had a miscarriage last january.  I am now 39..  we just started with an RE and am having my tests done next week ( hsg and blood work) Is it hard for anyone else to watch your hubby with his kids with his ex?  i mean this was never so emotional like this until we started trying with no luck and had the miscarriage..  I feel like such a bad person for feeling jealous but it is hard not to knowing he was able to have that with his ex and not me.. I think of the future and it seriously depresses me.. thinking of weddings and grandchildren and so on.. we won't be grandparents together.. not in the same way.. There is a void there that might never be filled.. and i think the fact that i share a child with someone else and he shares two with someone else makes it hurt even more than normal.  i feel so wrong to be feeling this way. i just wonder if anyone else can relate? cause i feel pretty alone right now..  How do you get past the hurt?  I don't want it to impact our marriage..  
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Re: Anyone relate> TTC with husband in blended family

  • blended10blended10 member
    My husband has 2 kids from a previous marriage & I had none. We struggled with infertility, also, for 2 years until conceiving via ivf. It was very hard. I cried a lot. I also went to counseling both alone & as a couple. I highly recommend it!
    We now have 2 kids together & life is good!!
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  • hopeful99hopeful99 member
    It's so incredibly hard to be hopeful. I feel so wrong to be this upset cause I was lucky enough to have my daughter. Yet it seems so unfair I can't have one with my husband. I'm worried about age. Almost being 40 to even think of this happening .. Idk what to do or how to get over the jealousy and sadness.
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  • blended10blended10 member
    Don't forget you are also mourning your loss. I can't imagine the pain of losing a child! That alone is crippling. I really suggest looking into counseling. <3
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  • flashley-2flashley-2 member
    I understand what you are going through and it is very difficult. My SO and I are booked for a reversal - which means we may or may not have children together. Sunday's when he meets his ex wife is so difficult. It's like you have to readjust every week. Some days I feel like a live in maid. Seems as though you care for the physical needs of the children but rarely the emotional needs. It's definitely hard when you are waiting to have your own baby to feel togetherness and hopefully feel less divided. Make sure you are opened and honest with your DH and let him know how your feeling. I am sure he will understand. I have started counselling and we plan on going together as well when I get a few more appointments in solo. 

    Me 27 <3 DF 44
    TTC post VR Sept 21/16
    SA 6 weeks post op 50.7 mil count 40% motility

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  • flashley-2flashley-2 member
    I think it is okay to feel jealous, and normal. Sometimes I have to remind myself just to remember that they are an added bonus and at least you can watch them grow and offer your love.

    Me 27 <3 DF 44
    TTC post VR Sept 21/16
    SA 6 weeks post op 50.7 mil count 40% motility

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