How is everyone? Check-in week of 6/27 — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

How is everyone? Check-in week of 6/27

Hello all!  Figured I'd start the check-in thread...sorry it's getting up kind of late, and anyone should feel free to start the thread, we're not particular here.  

For the new people; we are all so sorry for your losses but welcome to this community. I wish none of us had to go through this but I'm glad we have all found each other and can offer support and compassion. This board is proof that you don't have to go through this alone.

How are you doing this week? Any questions or anything we can help you with? Feel free to rant and vent, this is a safe space. Hugs to all who need them.

GTKY: What TV shows are you watching these days?  Anything binge-worthy to recommend?  
About me:
/loss mentioned/
TTC#1 July 2014
dx: MFI (morphology)
IUI #1 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Sept. 2015 ~ BFN
IUI #2 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Halloween 2015 ~ BFN
IUI #3 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Thanksgiving 2015 ~ BFP!!
hb 146 bpm at 7w5d
1/28/16 ~ began to say goodbye to our beautiful baby at 11w 
d&c, followed by cytotec
TTCAL April 2016
IUI #4 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Apr. 2016 ~ BFN
IUI #5 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ CP
IUI#6 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ BFN
fiorip

Re: How is everyone? Check-in week of 6/27

  • This week has been kind of "meh." Not great, but not horrible. Physically, I'm feeling very good, but it's frustrating that I don't have clearance from the doc to resume "normal physical activities." Grrr...Hopefully clearance will come next week!

    I'm starting to research local OBs, but I don't know what kind of questions I should ask. I need someone comfortable with high-risk cases...Any good questions I should ask, or any traits you find helpful in your OB?

    GTKY: What TV shows are you watching these days?  Anything binge-worthy to recommend?  I just recently discovered Gossip Girl!! I'm only on season 3, so I'm sure Serena, Blair and the rest of the gang will have surprises for me, but for now, "you know you love me, XOXO!" 
    Married 9/27/2014  :)
    BFP #1: 8/23/2015 M/C: 9/24/2015
    BFP# 2: 4/15/2016 M/C: 5/13/2016 Cervical Ectopic Pregnancy
    5/13/2016 Methotrexate Shot #1
    5/15/2016 Methotrexate Shot #2
    5/17/2016 Methotrexate Shot #3
    fiorip
  • I am still really sad and really irritable. This weekend was really rough for me. It was the first time I really had some time off and had time to think. So there was lots of tears. Also I think part of it was the drop in hormones. I asked my doctor for an antidepressant. I have felt like I am in a funk since my first loss in March. The second loss has just made me feel even lonelier. I just keep waiting to feel a little normal right now. I know I will get there it just feels really far away right now. Sorry to be such a downer. 

    GTKY: I am binge watch orange is the new black and I am watching ugly Betty again. I love that show. 
  • Loading the player...
  • I am currently freaking out about starting clomid since I will be traveling to the Caribbean July 31st-August 12th. Not sure if I should skip this month, when I went through so much to get to this point. I don't want to wait, but what if I catch it. My anxiety is making my physically ill. That being said I had a person badger me about being a mom yesterday and kept asking me if I was sure I didn't have any children. I almost lost it, but I was at work. I mean yes I am sure I have no children running around! I think I would notice having a baby. I wanted to be all, " yes I have children, they just aren't living!" I think that would have shut him up!


    GTKY: I started watching the glades on Netflix and am pretty into it. I also have been enjoying The Mindy Project.


  • @lyndam1 I really did not like my OB (I was working w/an RE and only "graduated" to the OB for 2 appointments before my loss) and had planned to switch but then I had a loss.  One thing that turned me off was when I was asking about how many drs there were in the practice and whether I would meet everyone who might be on call when I went into labor, my OB said "we're all qualified, and when you go into labor, you won't care about anything other than that."  I mean, obviously competence is of the utmost importance, but that's not very empowering & not the model of medical care that appeals to me.  We went to an open house for a midwife group and really liked them.  They are based at the hospital with the highest level NICU in the area and work closely with OBs and MFMs, so I was planning to switch to them.  

    @Hopefulmommy1980 I love OITNB...finished the newest season over the weekend and enjoyed it.  And hugs.  Have you seen a therapist at all?  I have found talking to someone to help a lot.  When I had my recent CP I felt like I moved back into the very lonely and solitary place I was in for a long time after my first loss, where I don't want to talk on the phone, see people, etc.  

    @Cmckenzie I am sorry, that sounds really stressful.  I hope your doctor has some guidance about your trip.  And I cannot believe what that person said to you.  I have been enjoying Mindy Project as well.  I wasn't sure I'd like this season and was worried about how I would feel about certain plotlines (don't want to add spoilers), but I am doing ok with this season.  

    And I am doing ok.  Have yet another cold.  Not sure if it's stress or what.  Need to fly to a family wedding this weekend, so trying to accelerate getting better.  

    GTYK: In addition to OITNB, Mindy Project...I'm also into Faking It and various cooking shows (I heard another season of Great British Baking Show is on Netflix, need to check that out).  
    About me:
    /loss mentioned/
    TTC#1 July 2014
    dx: MFI (morphology)
    IUI #1 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Sept. 2015 ~ BFN
    IUI #2 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Halloween 2015 ~ BFN
    IUI #3 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Thanksgiving 2015 ~ BFP!!
    hb 146 bpm at 7w5d
    1/28/16 ~ began to say goodbye to our beautiful baby at 11w 
    d&c, followed by cytotec
    TTCAL April 2016
    IUI #4 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Apr. 2016 ~ BFN
    IUI #5 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ CP
    IUI#6 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ BFN
    Hopefulmommy1980
  • Hello:

    Back here for the 3rd time; thats the charm isn't it? After 2 MC's, MD is deciding to try progesterone after we switched MD's. Anyways, to the discussion poset, today is my 1st due date...this week sucks. After my sister in law had her baby last week (she's younger than us by 3 years and we are only going to be 24 by september...) Her planned pregnancy that forced her man to have to marry her because of things she did on purpose - like BC removal. So many emotions, anger, then guilt, then just flat out heartbreak. Don't get me wrong, I can't wait to see the little man, he's innocent in the situation, i just don't know if  can handle it. Holding him when I'm supposed to have a miracle to call my own today... Does it get easier as you live on this whole new calendar nobody else can possibly understand unless they've experienced it?
  • @JrWenninger2B I am so sorry for your losses and that you find yourself back here, and that today is your first due date.  My due date is in August, so I haven't crossed that bridge yet.  Our nephew was the result of a BC fail, though, which occurred as we were struggling with infertility, and I can relate to how difficult those emotions are to process.  Hugs.
    About me:
    /loss mentioned/
    TTC#1 July 2014
    dx: MFI (morphology)
    IUI #1 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Sept. 2015 ~ BFN
    IUI #2 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Halloween 2015 ~ BFN
    IUI #3 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Thanksgiving 2015 ~ BFP!!
    hb 146 bpm at 7w5d
    1/28/16 ~ began to say goodbye to our beautiful baby at 11w 
    d&c, followed by cytotec
    TTCAL April 2016
    IUI #4 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Apr. 2016 ~ BFN
    IUI #5 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ CP
    IUI#6 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ BFN

  • @JrWenninger I'm sorry for your losses and for how difficult this week will be for you. For my 2nd pregnancy, a close friend of mine was due two weeks before me. I MC'd at 17w, and found her a little insensitive to it all (complaining about being sick and whatnot). That being said, she had a home birth, and I was the only non-family to be there later that day. It was unbelievably hard, and I totally broke down. But, being able to see and hold the baby actually was a bit of a healing process for me. You don't really ever get over the notes in the back of your head that your baby would be doing the same thing right now, but I would go to their house on my bad days just to hear her giggle and it helped. I don't know if you'll feel the same way, but give yourself time. 

    I'm doing better this week. Dr is referring me to an OB/GYN to get to the bottom of the recurrent MC thing. Which, I'm happy about; really hoping to get some answers.

    GTKY - I'm going through "Alias" right now. But I love binging on "Greys Anatomy" on Netflix. I've watched through it three times in the past year and a bit.
  • mjolkmjolk
    100 Comments 100 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    hello guys. I am about 4 days past my D&C. I feel physically fine, but I just keep feeling depressed. I never got feedback from my surgery from the doctor, which I think is a bit weird, but will have my follow-up in a week and find out stuff then. I wish I would snap out of it already. It feels surreal, it is hard to believe it all happened. I look no different than I was but now I feel even emptier and like something was taken from me even if I didn't really have something to begin with.

    GTKY: Not really into TV. I just watch some news programs and surf the internet (if people still surf)
    -----
    TW: Loss
    EDD: 1/14/2017 : Blighted Ovum : D&C @ 10w6d


  • @newlymrsparaons glad you are feeling better and hope you get some good information from the new doctor.  I have found discussions with my RE about infertility and loss to be really helpful and it makes me feel better to get his thoughts.  

    @mjolk hugs.  Your d&c was less than a week ago, all your feelings sound totally normal and give yourself time to grieve for your loss.  Even now, with my d&c almost 5 months ago, it feels kind of surreal that I was actually pregnant and then actually had the loss.  And then other times I think about how pregnant I would have been at this point.  It's a lot.
    About me:
    /loss mentioned/
    TTC#1 July 2014
    dx: MFI (morphology)
    IUI #1 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Sept. 2015 ~ BFN
    IUI #2 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Halloween 2015 ~ BFN
    IUI #3 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Thanksgiving 2015 ~ BFP!!
    hb 146 bpm at 7w5d
    1/28/16 ~ began to say goodbye to our beautiful baby at 11w 
    d&c, followed by cytotec
    TTCAL April 2016
    IUI #4 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Apr. 2016 ~ BFN
    IUI #5 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ CP
    IUI#6 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ BFN
  • I've had mostly good days in the last week. Yesterday I looked at my U/S a couple of times and I didn't cry. I'm so happy I have that memory. I think a big part of the reason I'm feeling better is because I O'd and can finally move on from this cycle and focus my energy on TTC again. It might not be the best coping mechanism but it's working for me now!

    @mjolk You did have something, and it is absolutely and completely normal to mourn that loss (the loss of a pregnancy). There is no limit on the amount of time you are allowed to feel it. I'm almost 5 weeks out from my loss at this point and I still think about it everyday. It's become a part of who I am. But the good news is, it does get easier. I found that hard to believe at first. But it does. And faster than you might think it would. Hugs.

    @newlymrsparaons I am glad you are feeling better! I hope you are able to get some helpful information from your new doctor and a plan to move forward with. 

    @JrWenninger2B So sorry for your losses. I understand the feeling about babies, especially when they're accidental. I deleted someone on Facebook yesterday for posting a bump picture (only 1 week ahead of where I should be) of her accidental baby and I got irrationally angry. Part of what is so hard about it is that so many people actually don't understand what it's like and can't really relate. And on the other hand, there are many who do but you might never know because it's not something that is commonly shared. Hugs to you. 

    @Hopefulmommy1980 Hugs to you. I know alone time can be bad for me as well. I tend to think more about what happened. And then even go as far as to look up sad quotes or look at the U/S. It does feel lonely. That's part of the reason I'm so thankful I have the bump. The only person in real life I know who openly talks to me about her m/c is my mom. Hugs to you. I hope you are able to find some happiness again. 
    **Formerly @aliciabhen**
    Me: 26 DH: 24
    Married: November 2015  <3
    TTC#1: January 2016
    BFP: 5/02/16 - MC: 5/27/16
    Computer Hope
    Hopefulmommy1980
  • I'm new here (I posted an intro thread as well). I delivered my son at 17w5d. Physically I'm feeling ok besides fatigue and headaches. My hemoglobin was at a 7 when I left the hospital (normal is 12-16). 

    Emotionally I'm having a REALLY hard time. I can't stop replaying it all in my mind and my labor and delivery was pretty traumatic. I am trying to stay busy but I'm also supposed to be taking it easy since I went through L&D and also ended up having a D&C after for retained placenta....

    GTKY: My husband and I have been watching OITNB lately. We also completed Bloodline just a few weeks ago.

    Emily   
    __________________________________

      Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers

    Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers

  • Hey all, just read all your posts and I'm sorry to hear about all of it. Although I am new here, you should know that I support you all through this tough time. Non of us deserves to be in this situation. I've done lots of thinking and talking mostly to my mom about things, since we aren't talking to any of our friends about our situation, because honestly, they wouldn't understand and why put the fear in them. There's no point. Anyway, we did however tell my sister in-laws recently, one of them responded well and of course the other sister, who went through two miscarriages in the past, the last one being at 20 weeks- (you'd think she'd know to say the right thing in my situation) she tells me a story of a friend of a friend who didn't stress or think about it and all the Docs said she'll never have kids and boom! She had twins! And she gives this hahah after. Then she goes on to make it worse, and says yeah! Look, you need not to stress and relax, don't think about it so much and it just happens! This is the one who's probably been through hell at one time in her life, but now she has 2 grown girls that are doing fine. One of which is a newly teenager who was echoing in the background "you just need to reeeelaaaaxxx" and laughing while she was on the phone with me. Nice, really nice.
  • moonlady-2moonlady-2
    500 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    edited July 2016
    This is only my first day in this club that no one ever expects to be in. I lost my baby last night at 10 weeks 4 days and had it confirmed via ultrasound today. have been crying on and off all day. Trying to be positive, but it's still so fresh. We made the mistake of telling a bunch of people so I still have that to deal with. I thought when we saw the baby and heartbeat on the ultrasound it would have been safe. I guess not. I came home and immediately took the ultrasound photos off the fridge and ripped my July calendar page with my next appointment on it. Still not sure what I plan on doing with the photos. If you guys had ultrasound photos, did you keep them? What did you do with them? I hid mine under some books for now.

    As far as shows I am currently looking for something to start. I finished OITNB and since Game of Thrones is done for the season I'm at a loss!
    31 years young
    from Seattle(ish)
    5 years married
    FTM and PGAL
    EDD is 12/23/17
    -- It's a BOY! ---





  • @moonlady I am sorry for your loss.  Hugs.  My first loss was discovered, like you, after we had heard a strong heartbeat.  I had told some close family members and friends, and I actually ended up telling a few more friends to get support as I grieved.  I think there's a lot of pressure to keep early pregnancies (and their losses) quiet, but there is nothing to be ashamed of.  You were entitled to feel happy and excited about the pregnancy, and now you are entitled to grieve however seems right to you.  As for the ultrasound photos, I ended up putting mine in an envelope with a few sympathy cards we received, and I put the envelope in our fireproof safe so I can pull them out when I want to see them, but I won't come across them if I'm not ready or wanting to see them in that moment.  
    About me:
    /loss mentioned/
    TTC#1 July 2014
    dx: MFI (morphology)
    IUI #1 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Sept. 2015 ~ BFN
    IUI #2 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Halloween 2015 ~ BFN
    IUI #3 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Thanksgiving 2015 ~ BFP!!
    hb 146 bpm at 7w5d
    1/28/16 ~ began to say goodbye to our beautiful baby at 11w 
    d&c, followed by cytotec
    TTCAL April 2016
    IUI #4 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Apr. 2016 ~ BFN
    IUI #5 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ CP
    IUI#6 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ BFN
    AliciaGoose
  • fioripfiorip
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    member
    edited July 2016
    Hello everyone, to all the new ladies I'm very sorry you are joining us, it's a club no one wants to be a part of but I've found incredible comfort and support here. Hugs to all.

    I'm doing well, I'm down 12 pounds and I already feel amazing, I still have around 25 more to drop to reach my goal weight. Emotionally I have my ups and down but lately I'm mostly well. Had a small break down last night when I was asked by a stranger if I had any children, but I cried it out and feel better today.

    GTKY: I just binge watched OITNB last weekend and I will start to watch Breaking Bad, I only saw the first season.

    @lyndam1 
    I don't have any good questions but just go with your gut feeling, aim for someone that sounds confident, I had 2 losses with my first Ob and from the very beginning she didn't feel right to me, I felt like she didn't know what she was doing, even though I loss another one with my new Ob, I feel a lot more comfortable and trust her and her choices more; on another note I loooooove Gossip Girl, I've seen the whole thing 3 times already! You are in for a ride.

    @Hopefulmommy1980
    I'm really sorry you're still feeling down, after my second loss I needed therapy to even function again. I can't say you will ever feel "normal" again, I think we have a new normal, you learn to live through the pain and it gets a lot easier. Hugs. 

    @Cmckenzie
    That sounds awful, I'm so sorry you have to deal with stupid people, I sometimes wonder how I haven't punched anyone saying idiotic things to me; I had someone tell me right after my 3rd loss that I was lucky I didn't have any kids yet. 

    @BrightenMySky
    Try onion, apple, cinnamon tea. It really helps fight the cold, sounds a little disgusting but you cant really taste the onion with apple cinnamon taste. You boil one onion cut in half, one green apple and two cinnamon sticks, sweeten with honey.

    @JrWenninger2B
    I'm so sorry you're back here. It does get easier but it takes an incredible amount of effort. I always say you become a new person after you experience a loss, there's a new normal and you'll never be the same again. Before I could feel bad for someone in a situation like ours but now I feel the pain, every time I see someone new here my heart hurts because I've been there and I know how devastating it is. Be kind and allow yourself to process everything one day at a time.

    @newlymrsparaons
    Really hope you can get some answers but keep in mind you may not, prepare yourself to maybe be told they couldn't find a reason. Hugs.

    @mjolk 
    I'm so so sorry for your loss, I feel for you. Don't rush it, you'll eventually make peace with it but allow yourself time to grieve, it's a hard thing to go through, hugs. 

    @AliciaGoose
    Glad you're doing better and just do whatever you need to do to keep feeling better, if it's focusing on conceiving then go for it. Good luck!

    @EmilyP524
    Like I told you on your thread, be kind to yourself and give yourself time, I know it's incredibly hard. Hugs again.

    @mamma1614
    Like I said before, people are stupid.

    @moonlady
    I'm very sorry for your loss. I keep my ultrasound pictures in a box in my closet, I just can't toss them, it's what I have left of my children. My first loss I didn't get to see anything before I miscarried but my last 2, I've seen them growing, their little hands and feet, my 2nd I even made it all the way to the anatomy scan and he was my perfect little boy, he was born with a full head of hair, my husbands hair. I don't look at them but I couldn't get rid of them. 







    I'm 29, husband is 30
    Together since 2006
    Married 01.17.15  <3

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 

    Hopefulmommy1980AliciaGooseBrightenMySky
  • @moonlady  I'm so sorry for your loss. As far as my ultrasound photos, I am keeping them in a photo album. I am blessed with two older boys and I have their ultrasound photos in the same album. My sweet Hudson will always be a part of our family so I wanted to keep his first photos with his brothers. It's hard but I know I would regret it if I got rid of them.

    Emily   
    __________________________________

      Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers

    Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers

  • @moonlady I am so sorry for your loss. I kept my ultrasound pictures, but like PPs I put them away so that I can't ever accidentally see them and have that trigger anything. I am thankful to have them though because it reminds me that my pregnancy and the short time I had with this baby were real. I probably won't look at them often but I'm comforted in knowing they exist. I think the answer about what to do with them is different for each person and depends on how you feel. I think hiding them for now was a good decision until you can decide what you want to do in the long run. Hugs. 
    **Formerly @aliciabhen**
    Me: 26 DH: 24
    Married: November 2015  <3
    TTC#1: January 2016
    BFP: 5/02/16 - MC: 5/27/16
    Computer Hope
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards