Is it too late to sleep train?

imsoexcited915 · June 2016

DD is a pretty good sleeper for most part so we haven't done any sort of sleep training. Lately she's been awakening during night and we feed and she goes right back to bed. Peds told us she doesn't need a MOTN feeding at this age. So I'm wondering what to do. We usually give bottle and I rock (because I love to) and transfer her to crib when drowsy almost asleep. DH gives bottle in crib and she zonks right out. I'm pretty sure she wouldn't just fall asleep if we were to feed and put her right in crib. She also takes a binky but doesn't rely on it so wondering do I pull the trigger on that all at the same time? Given the fact that she has 2 teeth now I think she's been teething lately so that's confusing me too. Any advice is much appreciated!

ElleMF728 · June 2016

Would you be interested in weaning overnight? Unless you are unhappy at bedtime or noticing sleep associations that may be enough to deal with her MOTN wake(s). If you are interested in removing rocking from your bedtime routine we had a lot of luck soothing DS1 in his crib using shush/pat.

https://www.preciouslittlesleep.com/what-you-need-to-know-about-sleeping-through-the-night-part-3/

This link is a great resource for night weaning and why that may be a preferred method for dealing with a MOTN feed. However, the whole 3 part series is really great and discuss different methods of STing as well.

PS: Just a personal note: I used Ferber with DS2 and had a lot of success (he was my stubborn baby and had object permanence issues). Different methods are great for solving different sleep issues. However, in any form of STing consistency and commitment is really important so that was simply why I suggested going the route of less resistance first and seeing if that was enough to make the fix.

missliz53 · June 2016

Are you able to soothe her back to sleep in her crib without a bottle? Are you rocking during your motn feed? I would tackle the motn feed first and then take on the bedtime routine and make any changes that you want. Sleep at this age is tough because it can be disrupted for something as minor as baby wakes up and misses you or something bigger like teething pain or a leaky diaper. I don't think that she is too old to sleep train, but she might put up a bigger fuss. In the MOTN, you could try giving her a couple minutes to see if she'll fuss herself back to sleep, or go in, soothe her without a bottle or picking her up, and then leave again or stay in the room until she's out (google the sleep lady shuffle)

jen83mn · June 2016

We have been nursing and rocking our 9.5-month-old to sleep since he was born. Within the past few weeks, it's been insanely difficult to get him to sleep. He has been screaming while I try to rock him to sleep and would only fall asleep if his dad was rocking him. Then, once he fell asleep, he'd wake up screaming when put in crib.

I've always been against cry-it-out methods, but considering he was screaming even when I was holding him, I figured I would give it a try and lay him down drowsy but awake. I turned on his music, white noise, and gave him a bunch of hugs and kisses, told him goodnight, and put him in his crib. I was going to give it 5 minutes, then go back in to comfort him and lay him back down if he was still crying. After a few minutes he started to settle down, and at 5 minutes he was just whining but had laid down. At 7 minutes he was completely asleep. I was shocked! We have done this technique for all naps and bedtime since (even when the grandmas are watching him during the day for consistency) and each time he has fallen asleep within 10 minutes with a bit of crying and whining at first. He's been sleeping better and longer and is happy when he wakes up. We have also done the same if he wakes up during the middle of the night (but if it doesn't work after one try, sometimes I will feed him and then lay him down awake in case he's hungry ... my milk supply hasn't been the greatest before bed, so sometimes I think he needs that extra top-up in the middle of the night, but not always).

I am so glad we tried something different since he now falls asleep within 10 minutes vs us rocking him for hours and hoping he doesn't wake up when we put him back in the crib. A little different than your situation, but it's worth trying anyways!

Plumeria1214 · June 2016

Thanks for posting this! We also hold and rock our 9 month old to sleep. It works well but the pediatrician said we need to get her to fall asleep on her own and the longer we wait, the harder it is going to be. He recommended CIO (leave and don't come back in intervals). She can sleep thru the night, it's just not being able to lay her down awake. We are going to attempt this on Monday and I've been so worried but this gives me hope! I have done everything to avoid CIO. I'm hoping to do modified one.

Kayciejoe56 · June 2016

@Plumeria1214 just remember that you can do any version of sleep training that you want! Find a system that you like and tweak it however you see fit! My lo has always been a terrible sleeper, and I knew that I had to do something. I didn't feel comfortable with straight up cio. Instead I made a nice bed of pillows next to the crib and lay down next to lo at bedtime and during night wakings. He was pretty upset the first night, but I felt better knowing that at least he could see me there. It hasn't been a magical, immediate transformation... but after only a few nights, I am definitely seeing huge improvements.

cmommy13 · June 2016

I also rock my DS and nurse him to sleep for naps and at bedtime. He will rarely transition into the crib for naps and only sleeps in the crib at night for the first stretch waking exactly an hour after I put him down. We did a modified ferber when he was younger and it worked but then we regressed. He's only 9 months old and has EIGHT teeth. Yes 8 teeth. This has made sleep training difficult because I revert back to nursing and rocking and Co sleeping so u do the have to give him as much motrin.

I want more sleep and I'd love to have a couple hours to myself during the day when he naps but I'm afraid to do ferber because he seems to always be getting teeth and is hurting. He's also been super clingy Las he's started to learn how to stand independently and is trying to walk

Any suggestions would be VERY appreciated❤

imsoexcited915 · June 2016

@Plumeria1214 did you attempt sleep training this week? Curious how it went. DD is definitely teething so it's been tough. Tried to let her cry a bit for 2 nights but couldn't continue. We are weak honestly and she really cried so I think some of it is teething. She's been clingy too. Not sure what we are doing at this point haha but wondering how you made out !?!

Plumeria1214 · June 2016

@imsoexcited915

We are starting it tonight! Our friends recommended starting on a weekend instead of the beginning of the week, and my husband is off tomorrow. I'll let you know how it goes! Of course LO cut another tooth this week! (Now she has 2). She seems better today and we gave her Motrin just one night, so we feel ok starting the sleep training.

Tonight my husband held her until sleepy and put her in awake and it took 20 minutes but she put herself to sleep. i have a feeling tomorrow will be a different story when I try! Usually she's hysterical when I put her down. I'm the weak link and pick her up, but I'm going to be strong. I tried one night just to see (knowing I would pick her up). she cried for 5 minutes and the minute I picked her up she passed out in my arms. She definitely associates being held with sleep and I keep telling myself she needs to be able to do it on her own. I'll let you know how it goes! Good luck to you too!

Thanks @Kayciejoe56 ! We are planning to get her sleepy and put her in and check every 5 minutes then 10, etc. The pediatrician told me to go in right away or not at all because if I go in at 15 minutes or whenever, when she's screaming, then she'll have 'won' ... But I'm going to try our way first and hope for the best!

FatPony · June 2016

@Plumeria1214 good luck!

jen83mn · June 2016

jen83mn said:

We have been nursing and rocking our 9.5-month-old to sleep since he was born. Within the past few weeks, it's been insanely difficult to get him to sleep. He has been screaming while I try to rock him to sleep and would only fall asleep if his dad was rocking him. Then, once he fell asleep, he'd wake up screaming when put in crib.

I've always been against cry-it-out methods, but considering he was screaming even when I was holding him, I figured I would give it a try and lay him down drowsy but awake. I turned on his music, white noise, and gave him a bunch of hugs and kisses, told him goodnight, and put him in his crib. I was going to give it 5 minutes, then go back in to comfort him and lay him back down if he was still crying. After a few minutes he started to settle down, and at 5 minutes he was just whining but had laid down. At 7 minutes he was completely asleep. I was shocked! We have done this technique for all naps and bedtime since (even when the grandmas are watching him during the day for consistency) and each time he has fallen asleep within 10 minutes with a bit of crying and whining at first. He's been sleeping better and longer and is happy when he wakes up. We have also done the same if he wakes up during the middle of the night (but if it doesn't work after one try, sometimes I will feed him and then lay him down awake in case he's hungry ... my milk supply hasn't been the greatest before bed, so sometimes I think he needs that extra top-up in the middle of the night, but not always).

I am so glad we tried something different since he now falls asleep within 10 minutes vs us rocking him for hours and hoping he doesn't wake up when we put him back in the crib. A little different than your situation, but it's worth trying anyways!

Update: This method has been a success! After less than a week, LO now falls asleep in his crib awake with no crying at night! He has also done the same for some naps, although those are tougher and he usually cries for 5 minutes, then falls asleep. If he's still crying at 15 minutes, I go in and comfort him, give him a hug, and lay him back down.

It iwas definitely toughest on me - I absolutely hate hearing him cry at any time. It just pulls at my heart strings! But we are all happier now - LO is falling asleep faster, sleeping better, and waking up happy, and we're less stressed at bed time and nap time.

Good luck to the rest of you!

Plumeria1214 · June 2016

That's great!!

So far so good here too! She's put herself to sleep 4 nights in a row, crying less each night (the first night was 10 minutes, last night was 3/4 minutes total). My husband did it 3 nights and my mother did it the other night when she was babysitting while my husband and I were at a wedding. Tonight I'm putting her to sleep. We think she'll cry more when it's me but I'm not going to ruin what is working, so I'll update again in few days!

Plumeria1214 · June 2016

Just an update... It's worked great! I put my LO to sleep two nights in a row. She cried/fussed for 1-2 minutes and was out! I was soooo worried about this but it's been better than expected. We're on vacation next week and then we're tackling nap time!

imsoexcited915 · July 2016

@Plumeria1214 congrats! Can you tell me specifically what you did? When I try to put DD into crib drowsy but awake it hasn't worked so then I rock her and when she's asleep on me or DH she will wake when we put her in crib. Or she'll actually sit up crying. Like now that's what happened. She woke up and is now sitting up crying and DH went in and picked her up where I would have let her cry. I feel like we are completely messing things up and I'm fearful we will never get her to sleep. DH blames it on teething but she's only got 2 teeth so we can't ignore this much longer! Ahhhh!!

Plumeria1214 · July 2016

We started a routine every night of putting her in her sleep sack, reading books, singing and rocking, and then putting her down awake. The first night she cried for 7-10 minutes, on and off. My husband tried to go in to shush her but that made it much worse, so the next few nights we didn't go back in at all. Each night we put an extra pacifier in the crib, and a lovey too.

The first night she tried pulling herself up and was all over the crib and we just watched monitor.

Every night has been the same routine but the amount of crying (more fussing) has been shorter and shorter. The crying was always on and off and we could tell it was to get us back in the room. It took a few days but each day has been improvement. Doctor warned us the first night would be the hardest.

I know it's tough!! I was having so much anxiety about it but it wasn't as bad as I made it in my head and now she sleeps better and wakes up happy. Its hard but gets better each night! Good luck mama!!

booksandcleverness81 · July 2016

@imsoexcited915 I feel the same way, and we just started sitting up and freaking ourselves out whenever we wake up at night so it's been harder to settle him down.

He goes down really easy at bedtime awake and sleepy, it's just the night wakings that we can't figure out. I'm trying to night wean by slowly shortening the length of his feeds but it makes him so mad to be cut off early and then if I can shush and pat him to sleep he wakes up 5 minutes later and starts the whole thing again. He cried for over an hour the other night when I refused to feed him again after that, and when he woke up an hour later he did the same thing. It's not like it was last time I sleep trained (at 6 months) when he got it really quickly and put himself back to sleep every wakeup within ten minutes. He was sleeping 8hrs then and now he won't go more than 2 or 3. I would do a modified Ferber but I don't like leaving the room with him sitting up and occasionally trying to stand in the crib. Ugh. He's lucky he's so cute.
I'm glad some of you ladies are having success!

Is it too late to sleep train?

Re: Is it too late to sleep train?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards