Benched/ TTA Check-in (6/27)

jessicark99 · June 2016

***General TW that this thread can and will mention MC and loss.***

This is a place for those of us who have already started TTC, but have hit a roadblock and are delaying for whatever reason. You can express your thoughts, feelings, and frustrations on not TTC and connect with others who are in the same boat. TTC can be a long journey, and having to wait makes it feel even longer- even if it is for a good reason. Feel free to resurrect this thread at any point in the week if you have something to say, and treat this like an ongoing conversation.

Benched = involuntarily not NTNP/TTC and are "out of the game," usually due to medical reasons
TTA = avoiding pregnancy by using protection or FAM, usually for non-health-related reasons __________________________________________________________________
Are you benched or TTA?

What brings you here?

How long do you think you'll be here?

How have things been going?

Any R/R/CS?

GTKY: (Stolen from WTO) What is your favorite guilty pleasure when your DH/SO is not around?

jessicark99 · June 2016

Are you benched or TTA? TTA

What brings you here? Possible exposure to Zika

How long do you think you'll be here? 6 more weeks

How have things been going? Not great, but not too bad I guess.

Any R/R/CS? Rave: Unbelievably excited that I only have 6 weeks left. Rant: I'm like terrified of having any kind of hanky panky and it's really putting a damper on my relationship with DH....He wants to HIO and I'm like uh......no....no.....no. Not good, not good at all

GTKY: (Stolen from WTO) What is your favorite guilty pleasure when your DH/SO is not around? Doing nothing but watching TV and chilling out on the couch. Or going to get a blizzard....yummmmmy.

AliciaGoose · June 2016

Are you benched or TTA? Benched

What brings you here? Natural MC end of May

How long do you think you'll be here? Hopefully only two more weeks! I either just ovulated or am about to (see below) and we decided we were going to start TTC next cycle instead of waiting one more.

How have things been going? This is the first week I genuinely feel like I don't have anything to complain about. In the last week my spirits have significantly lifted. I think it's a combination of the school year ending (school had become a bit of a trigger for me) and also knowing my cycle is probably coming to an end. I've poured a lot of my bought a into the future which has been both productive and also probably not the healthiest thing. But it's working for me.

Any R/R/CS? I've posted this all over already today but I'm actually really nervous I was wrong about my O day. The reason I'm nervous about this is because after a + OPK which went -, a temp shift, and a switch from EWCM to creamy, I gave DH the go ahead to do the deed without protection. This morning I woke up to lots of EWCM which prompted me to take an OPK that, while negative, was darker than the last one I took a couple days ago. If I haven't Od yet, I made a HUGE mistake. My chart was already very rocky and I drank Thursday night. My chart is below if anyone has any insight! I'll take an OPK again this afternoon.

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/wd/rvux5dmxpqx8.jpeg

FYI: this is advanced detection. I'm more inclined to believe FAM which says I'm 4dpo.

GTKY: (Stolen from WTO) What is your favorite guilty pleasure when your DH/SO is not around.
I read smut, play 3DS, and watch dramatic Netflix shows.

hanshotfirst77 · June 2016

@AliciaGoose I think you O'd on CD 28 based on temps, CM and OPK, let us know what OPK says later.

Are you benched or TTA? TTA

What brings you here? New job/New Insurance/Waiting for FMLA benefits.

How long do you think you'll be here? RE Testing can begin next month when I will have new insurance, but Treatment and TTC can't until November or December. Depending on my start date and what my cycle looks like.

How have things been going? Eh depends on the day. Somedays I am ok. Because I know in my head, this is the right thing to do. This job will be an amazing step for myself and my family. But other days I see a million pregnancy announcements and all these people I know having baby bumps and newborns and I feel horribly depressed that I can't even "try" especially now that we are the RE stage and I know that we pretty much need the intervention.

Any R/R/CS? Not really. This cycle is done just waiting for AF to finally show up. I think I may have finally started spotting at CD38/17, maybe Af will be tomorrow.

GTKY: (Stolen from WTO) What is your favorite guilty pleasure when your DH/SO is not around?
I binge my shows. He makes fun of a lot of shows that I watch. So I will totally just veg out on the couch and watch while he is away. Although as much as he teases me, he loves to hear what is going on in the shows.

thj101 · June 2016

Are you benched or TTA?   TTA

What brings you here?   Poor life timing....

How long do you think you'll be here?   Hopefully not too much longer, but realistically probably until October.

How have things been going?   They have been ok, DH keeps saying things like he thinks we are behind when compared to our friends in terms of houses, kids, all that stuff. And while that may be kind of true, we are also in a much much more different position than they are. Most of our friends have regular jobs with regular health, 401k etc benefits, so they have the guaranteed income and are able to buy houses, save for a baby, etc... But our situation is not.. DH has his own business which, is going well, but he still has not paid himself since January, so we are living off of my salary, which is 1/3 of what DH used to be making, and just trying to get by with what we have at least until next year. It's just all tough.

Any R/R/CS?   See above..

GTKY: (Stolen from WTO) What is your favorite guilty pleasure when your DH/SO is not around? I love binge watching trash TV and eating Chinese when he is not around.. lol.

eggplantface · June 2016

@thj101 I know it's hard, but try not to compare yourself to other people! You never know what's going on behind closed doors. Maybe they hate their soul-sucking jobs and envy your husband getting to be his own boss. Maybe they're up to their eyeballs in debt. You never know. You'll get where you want to be eventually!

Are you benched or TTA? TTA

What brings you here? Fibroid surgery

How long do you think you'll be here? Just one more week! Period is due Saturday, then I call to schedule my HSG and saline sonogram with my RE, then we're hopefully good to go.

How have things been going? H is asking about when I schedule my HSG, so I guess it's been on his mind even though we haven't really talked about the hiatus. And I understand that, he's much more anxious than I to have a kid.

Any R/R/CS? Last week my temps just took forever to go up so I was worried about an anovulatory cycle. This cycle was a snail's pace slow rise, but I did ovulate!

GTKY: (Stolen from WTO) What is your favorite guilty pleasure when your DH/SO is not around? Speak of the devil, H is going to his parents' house this weekend (I weaseled out of it!) so I'll have the house and television to myself. I'm going to make the Velveeta/Rotel queso and have that for most of my meals, and watch General Hospital and OITNB.

Image: https://thebunniway.files.wordpress.com/2014/10/photo81-vi.jpg

<---hottest man alive is on GH

thj101 · June 2016

thank you @eggplantface that's what I keep telling myself and him! It's just hard sometimes, but we will make it through!

kiwi2628 · June 2016

Are you benched or TTA? TTA

What brings you here? Life timing

How long do you think you'll be here? Until late August/Early Sept

How have things been going? Good! I have been so busy this summer that I am zero percent concentrating on TTC/TTA

Any R/R/CS? I recently had a friend who, with her husband, decided that she would stay at home with their new baby for the next year, and shes upset about it but then, at the same time, trying to convince me that being a SAHM is the best job ever, when she knows I would rather slit my wrists than stay at home. It makes me sad for her because I know she doesnt want to and shes just overcompensating to try to be happy and makes me annoyed with her because she knows I want a kid but knows we arent even trying so it feels a bit face-rubby. I know she doesnt mean it, she doesnt have any friends with kids to talk to (no one in our friends group has kids yet, or are even trying), so I get that I am who she gets to vent to but it still makes me feel annoyed with her. Which is dumb.

GTKY: (Stolen from WTO) What is your favorite guilty pleasure when your DH/SO is not around? Being super messy! My H is such a neat freak that I always pick up everything to keep him happy. But when hes gone...PILES EVERYWHERE!

lyndam1 · June 2016

Are you benched or TTA? Benched

What brings you here? Ectopic pregnancy/MC in May

How long do you think you'll be here? Until at least October, but possibly longer

How have things been going?Meh, ok I guess. I went to a coworker's baby shower today and had a bit of a hard time...

Any R/R/CS? None.

GTKY: (Stolen from WTO) What is your favorite guilty pleasure when your DH/SO is not around? I love just sitting around binge watching pseudo-reality paranormal tv shows!!!

mtmama2 · June 2016

Are you benched or TTA? TTA

What brings you here? Vacation to an area with active Zika transmission

How long do you think you'll be here? 3 more weeks

How have things been going? This is my FW so I've been extra crazy and sad that we aren't trying

Any R/R/CS? Rant: This cycle is the first time I have tried using OPKs and it seems like it is taking forever to get the little smiley face! I keep waking up thinking "oh yeah, that is totally ovulation cramping, today is the day" and then I just get another empty circle staring back at me. wtf body

Rave: We bought a new vehicle last night and I am soo in love! I have never had a vehicle that was even close to "new" until now and it will probably take me a year just to figure out how everything works!

GTKY: (Stolen from WTO) What is your favorite guilty pleasure when your DH/SO is not around? I love to get take out (and wine!) and binge on my girly shows in a tank top and undies

@eggplantface I guess I know what show I will be watching next! *swoon*

HLD3194 · June 2016

Are you benched or TTA? TTA

What brings you here? Moving=stress=not good to have when ttc

How long do you think you'll be here? End of July

How have things been going? Eh, not really happy about being here but what can I do? I know this is best but it's still annoying

Any R/R/CS? CD1 so yeah there's that...

GTKY: (Stolen from WTO) What is your favorite guilty pleasure when your DH/SO is not around? Nutella, like straight out of the jar with a spoon. He thinks it's nasty when he sees me doing it so I eat it when he's away. I can probably eat a whole jar within 2 days. It's bad but I don't care!!!!!

eggplantface · June 2016

kiwi2628 said:

GTKY: (Stolen from WTO) What is your favorite guilty pleasure when your DH/SO is not around? Being super messy! My H is such a neat freak that I always pick up everything to keep him happy. But when hes gone...PILES EVERYWHERE!

I need a "Samesies!" gif, the one from Superbad, because OMG, SAMESIES! I think I'm extra messy now out of spite.

crazypt2285 said:

GTKY: (Stolen from WTO) What is your favorite guilty pleasure when your DH/SO is not around? Nutella, like straight out of the jar with a spoon. He thinks it's nasty when he sees me doing it so I eat it when he's away. I can probably eat a whole jar within 2 days. It's bad but I don't care!!!!!

I'm sad about how long it took me to discover Nutella.

And @SienaC, I think they purposely try to put him in situations when he needs to shower because he's often in a towel. Such a klutz, spilling things all over himself every damn day....

nacl062017 · June 2016

Are you benched or TTA? Sort of both

What brings you here? I'm TTA until August or September to make the best of a teacher's schedule but I'm benched until my ovaries get their act together.

How long do you think you'll be here? This is all new to me. I'm hoping only a month or two but no lie, I'm nervous about what the real answer is to that question.

How have things been going? On the surface, fine, but as I mentioned above, I have a lot of anxiety about TTC.

Any R/R/CS? I've been charting but the only thing it tells me is that my body is a mess. I went off the NuvaRing in February and it's been an uncomfortable mess ever since.

GTKY: What is your favorite guilty pleasure when your DH/SO is not around? Spending too much time on Pinterest or lurking on here...

kiwi2628 · June 2016

Ok, so I was hoping to get advice. I temped for 18 months. I am ridiculously consistent, and know my cycles well. I havent temped in 10 months, and still am ridiculously consistent. I know things can change, but thats my preamble.

My H and I are going to Portugal Sept 10th to Sep 20th. As of now, my fertile period is set for Aug. 26th to Sept 1st, making my period due Sept. 12th. My next fertile period would start Sept. 21st and go to Sept 26th.

Do we:

a) Start TTC late august and possibly be pregnant for half of our portugal trip and risk (although only 4 wks preg.) MS etc.. or

b) just wait until mid-Sept and have my period over the Portugal trip (knowing even if we start TTC we probs would not get preg first try, but still), but know I def wont have exhaustion, MS, etc...

HALP

eggplantface · June 2016

kiwi2628 said:

Ok, so I was hoping to get advice. I temped for 18 months. I am ridiculously consistent, and know my cycles well. I havent temped in 10 months, and still am ridiculously consistent. I know things can change, but thats my preamble.

My H and I are going to Portugal Sept 10th to Sep 20th. As of now, my fertile period is set for Aug. 26th to Sept 1st, making my period due Sept. 12th. My next fertile period would start Sept. 21st and go to Sept 26th.

Do we:

a) Start TTC late august and possibly be pregnant for half of our portugal trip and risk (although only 4 wks preg.) MS etc.. or

b) just wait until mid-Sept and have my period over the Portugal trip (knowing even if we start TTC we probs would not get preg first try, but still), but know I def wont have exhaustion, MS, etc...

HALP

That's a tough one without more information. Two things to take into account are how old you are and if you have any issues that could prevent conception, making it take longer to conceive. I'm 36 and have no cycles to waste, so I haven't booked any non-refundable trips! But if I were 26 and going on a trip, I'd postpone one more month to make sure I could enjoy all that Portugal has to offer! That's the one silver lining about this hiatus; knowing I can't get pregnant means I can plan all the things with alcohol

Image: https://66.media.tumblr.com/768ac4c5a410e044d7c3c696c7f6b65b/tumblr_nx7qhgnYHw1tewobjo1_500.gif

kiwi2628 · June 2016

eggplantface said:

That's a tough one without more information. Two things to take into account are how old you are and if you have any issues that could prevent conception, making it take longer to conceive. I'm 36 and have no cycles to waste, so I haven't booked any non-refundable trips! But if I were 26 and going on a trip, I'd postpone one more month to make sure I could enjoy all that Portugal has to offer! That's the one silver lining about this hiatus; knowing I can't get pregnant means I can plan all the things with alcohol

I am just about 29. H and I have been married 3 years, together for 12. We are from the northeast, so we are wayyyyyy on the early end for people having kids, but (and I know my mothers fertility has no bearing on mine but), my mom had quite a bit of trouble getting and staying pregnant. I have no reason to think I will, but I am just scared that we will have trouble, so I dont know how much time I want to waste one we are financially ready (Aug 1st). We arent gonna start trying Aug. 1st because I dont want to risk being 7 wks preg in Portugal, because I would really have MS then, but my period is due while in Portugal, so I would be barely preg. IF (big, unlikely if) I got preg first go round. Plus, then I wouldnt have my period at the beach/hiking trip/etc...

But at the same time, will 3 weeks kill me?

UGH I JUST DONT WANT MY PERIOD IN PORTUGAL. This is so. Dumb. #firstworldproblems lol

eggplantface · June 2016

kiwi2628 said:
UGH I JUST DONT WANT MY PERIOD IN PORTUGAL. This is so. Dumb. #firstworldproblems lol

This had me literally lol. I totally get it.

NYTino24 · June 2016

Are you benched or TTA? benched/TTA

What brings you here? vacation to Caribbean / Zika, herniated disc in back

How long do you think you'll be here? until mid to end of September or later

How have things been going? I have been avoiding TB for a few days mostly because I've already ovulated and can't go to TWW. It's frustrating, but I guess the good thing about having a longer cycle is I'm not losing eggs as quickly. Last night FI kind of agreed to do testing on ovarian egg reserve before we decide to follow the gyn's recommendation of waiting 6 months after we return. If I am super low, we will just wait 8 weeks. I brought it up in bed when he was half asleep, so we will see if he sticks with that. So my question is have any of you done that prior to TTC? Was it covered by your insurance and how willing was your doctor to order the tests if you didn't have any major issues yet? (FYI I'm 33.)

Any R/R/CS? Zulily has some adorable pregnancy clothes on sale right now. I may or may not have considered buying a few dresses.

GTKY: (Stolen from WTO) What is your favorite guilty pleasure when your DH/SO is not around?

Definitely shopping. See above!

@kiwi2628 I'm in a similar situation, but I am going on a beach vaca and AF is supposed to show up the day before we leave. You never know though, so check out July's cycle before banking on August's prediction.
@nacl062017 I'm a teacher too and Zika just messed up my hopes to go out in April. Now it looks like summer or even fall. Chin up!
@crazypt2285 End of June is here, July is gonna go fast!
@SienaC saw your other post that you are back in the game. You are my inspiration. I hope FI agrees to cut it short!!!
@jessicark99 Are condoms out of the question? Love Blizzards. Three of my sisters worked at DQ!

mtmama2 · June 2016

@NYTino24 I have no earthly idea why he agreed to give in but I am so happy he did! When we went down there he didn't get bitten by mosquitos...so that may have had something to do with it? FX for you! Apply lots of bug spray to both of you!!

nacl062017 · June 2016

@NYTino24 I thought I was going to have to wait longer because of my irregular cycles/lack of ovulation but the doctor told me today to abandon my dreams of a summer baby and get cracking. So I guess I'm no longer benched but rather on an extended WTO and I need to give up TTA. Wish us luck!

Do you think it's better to start the year with a sub or have to leave in the middle of the year? I think starting the year with a sub is the worst. Here's hoping you get the best deal you can get despite Zika.

NYTino24 · June 2016

@nacl062017 I totally think it's better to start off with the class and leave later. It's always a mess coming back!

CTRMommyof4 · July 2016

Are you benched or TTA?

Benched

What brings you here?

2 losses in the past 8 months, 2 surgeries, and facing TTC our last baby before I have a radical hyst

How long do you think you'll be here?

Hopefully not very long, I love the TTC ladies, but I'm ready to have a baby in my arms.

How have things been going?

Frustrating, not healing from surgery like I had hoped. Cycle is all over the place, can't even get a read on when I'll start a somewhat normal one.

Any R/R/CS?

I just posted my rant and rave over on TTCAL but here it is. My rant is that all of the ladies at my church are either pregnant and adorable or have young babies, and it is very hard to handle right now for me. My rave is that we are going to Utah in a few hours for the 4th and I am SO happy and excited, it's like my most favorite time of the year other than Christmas.

GTKY: (Stolen from WTO) What is your favorite guilty pleasure when your DH/SO is not around?

Well he knows all of my guilty pleasures, LOL, but I do indulge in the cinnabon delight things from Taco Bell more than I care to admit to him sometimes haha.

mrsstuessy · July 2016

Are you benched or TTA? sort of both. I am going through a chemical pregnancy right now. I got my BFP on the 25th and my MC started yesterday. I don't really know where I belong. But, I do know I love this TTGP board, so here I am for now.

What brings you here? oops, MC.

How long do you think you'll be here? Good question. The minimum is until I get my next period. We are probably more NTNP though. And then we will see if I am emotionally ready.

How have things been going? I cried a lot last night. With family for a week and none of them know. So, that is good and bad. They cheer me up, but it is sort of hard keeping this secret from them.

Any R/R/CS? Just feeling sad this week.

GTKY: (Stolen from WTO) What is your favorite guilty pleasure when your DH/SO is not around? Definitely just watching a show and drinking wine. I do it when he is there too. But, I enjoy it more by myself.

clover28 · July 2016

*lurking*

@mrsstuessy I am so, so sorry for your loss. Please take care of yourself. Hugs.

AliciaGoose · July 2016

@mrsstuessy I am so incredibly sorry to see you back here with us. All the hugs to you. I am glad you have people who are able to cheer you up but I understand you about it being so strange to be surrounded by people who don't know what has happened to you. We're here when you need support

izza2 · July 2016

@mrsstuessy - I'm so sorry for your loss!

stillclever17 · July 2016

@jessicark99 We're going to Jamaica in a few weeks, so I'll be in the same boat. That's why I'm lurking the the benched thread. I hope everything is fine and you can resume ttc soon. I know the wait must be so hard. Hang in there! In the meantime, let me know if you have any advice for when it's my turn.

KirstinH88 · July 2016

@mrsstuessy I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. You are more than welcome to rejoin this board whenever you are ready.

Marley629 · July 2016

Lurking

@mrsstuessy I am so sorry for your loss. All the hugs going out to you

Schumerator · July 2016

@mrsstuessy I'm so so sorry for your loss... Please take care of yourself and cry all you need

stillclever17 · July 2016

@mrsstuessy I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I hope things work out for you. Take care.

Benched/ TTA Check-in (6/27)

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