Husband traveling late in pregnancy

KelcieKelley · June 2016

Hi ladies. I have been struggling with this a lot lately. My husbands son is coming out to visit for part of summer as he usually does. His mom will not allow him to fly alone even though he is old enough and I have respected that. It is frustrating as we pay for all the plane tickets and my husband has to fly there to get him and then back for both bringing him here and taking him home. I had asked that he come to visit for June not July since I will be super pregnant by that point but it didn't happen and just caused a huge fight. So now it is happening in july. I am due first week of august. We have to get my stepson back to his mom when I am 38 almost 39 weeks. I have put my foot down that I am not comfortable with my husband leaving town at that point and we will have to ask grandpa to fly him back.
I guess my question is am I being ridiculous? I am feeling guilty about it but I am very afraid to go into labor and have my husband several hours away. This is my first so I'm just not sure what to expect and really don't want to risk him not being there even if it is a week or so before my due date.

Thanks!

searchingforameaning · June 2016

i would do the same. my first two both came at 38 weeks. maybe your baby will come that early and baby can get photos with big brother before he leaves??

KelcieKelley · June 2016

That would be a great way for it all to work out. Now if only I could control when the baby comes lol.

MamaKSquared · June 2016

I don't think you're being ridiculous at all. I also wouldn't be comfortable with DH leaving a week before our due date. Nope.

Curls919 · June 2016

Not ridiculous at all. The husband of a friend of mine is a pilot and was working a trip when she went into labor. He literally walked in 5 min after the baby was born. So I'd say no, you're not crazy at all for wanting him close!

jamiesc58 · June 2016

You should not feel guilty as that is not an insane request. I would absolutely make other arrangements if I was in your position. DH should understand your thoughts and feelings. I hope that your DH won't risk missing the birth of his own child. Good luck to you!

nanner26 · June 2016

I don't think you are being ridiculous. How long will he be gone for? One day or will it be longer? If it was a quick flight to where he left in the morning and was back by that night, then I would probably let him go. If it's something to where he's gone for a couple days, I don't blame you for wanting him home. If Grandpa can take him this one time, then that should be an acceptable request. It's a one time thing and that is super close to your due date. If you go into labor early he might have booked a ticket that he can't use and someone else would have to take him anyways. I say to be safe, Grandpa should take him if possible. You are not being ridiculous!

ThisisNumber3 · June 2016

Even for something that he's stuck traveling (at the airport or in the air) for a full day, thats long time to be away. You tried early on to make your wishes known that the visit take place in June and not July. Thats not your problem now!

Snaps816 · June 2016

You're not being unreasonable at all! At least, not any more unreasonable than the mom expecting your DH to make round-trips to get him each time! You didn't mention how old the boy is, but he's going to have to learn to fly alone at some point. Kids who fly alone are well-supervised by the airlines. But if that's off the table, maybe his mom could fly with him this time, or as you said, grandpa. When you've got a baby on the way in just a few weeks, you get a pass on bending over backwards for other people's wants and needs (by other people I mean your step-son's mom.. not the child!).

kwilliams3402 · June 2016

Completely reasonable! If it were my husband, I'd tell him I didn't want him going, but if he really felt he had to travel, he'd do it knowing: (a) I was unhappy about it, (b) if I went into labor, he better get his tail back to town ASAP, and (c) he may miss the birth of his son and be stuck with that guilt the rest of his life. I've yelled at husband a few times about his cell phone dying and we're only 32 weeks over here!

Bookhousegirl · June 2016

Totally reasonable! DH just moved a business trip he has in late July for this exact reason, and I'm not due until August 13th! I delivered DS at 39 weeks, so I definitely wouldn't want him traveling at that point either.

riveridgional · June 2016

I agree with everyone else. You're being completely reasonable and sane. I'm due August 6 and am extremely nervous about my husband being across the country for work for a whole weekend when I'll be just over 36 weeks. There's no way I'd want him flying around and after 38 weeks!

Wolfie646 · June 2016

I'm with you here, 38/39 weeks is too late for daddy to be away, it's def more likely that you'll go into labor then. Don't see any issues with asking grandpa to fly him back!

lucypod · June 2016

Definitely not ridiculous. I think the grandparent solution is a great idea!

nikkimarie159 · June 2016

@KelcieKelley *lurking from July
I don't think that is unreasonable at all! My dh travels all the time for work, and I made it a point that I do not want him traveling the last 2 months of my pregnancy just in case something were to happen! Better safe than sorry!

Fremdschamen · June 2016

I don't think you are being ridiculous either. For a Father's Day surprise, I'm going to book my husband plane tickets to go to his family reunion at the end of July, but I'm not due till the end of August. Any closer to my due date and he'd be getting a different gift! At 38-39 weeks, he has to stay within an hour of where I am.

1faceinacrowd · June 2016

Don't feel guilty. Your husband should understand that the due date is just an estimate and that people commonly go into labor at 37, 38, and 39 weeks. And even if you weren't so close, he'll be on an airplane and unreachable while his pregnant wife is at home. ANYTHING can happen at any time when you're pregnant; why risk being out of reach?
My DH was in jury duty the last couple of days and they talked about potentially sequestering the jurors and THAT made him super nervous because he didn't want to be out of contact or away from home, even in the same city, with a pregnant wife at home. I'm sure if your DH took more of a "better safe than sorry" outlook, he would feel the same.

SkiChic626 · June 2016

Nope, not ridiculous at all. I didn't let my husband go on a business trip once I was 35w with DD. The last thing you need in your 38th or 39th week is to have your husband in the air somewhere far away when you go into labor and not be able to contact him, let alone the amount of time it would take him to get back to you once he finds out. Nope. You offered a reasonable compromise by asking to change the visit from July to June, they couldn't concede to that, so now it's up to them to figure this out and find a solution that doesn't involve your DH flying that close to your due date.

eacrlsn · June 2016

You sound reasonable to me

lucypod · June 2016

My husband is entertaining the idea of going away overnight 3 hours away the 9-10 of July (I'll be 36.5 weeks preg) and I'm deciding that as long as we're good to go on baby prep he can go, but I made him go through a checklist of all of the "what ifs" that would come up. Obviously if I went into labor him being 3 hours away isn't ideal, but at least he'd have his own car. I don't think I'd feel guilty about not wanting him to travel on a plane at 38-39 weeks. It's important for us to look out for our own health first and foremost for the sake of our babies and impending labor and delivery and any added stress isn't a good idea!

ThisisNumber3 · June 2016

@lucypod this just came up for us too. DH wants to go away for a weekend when I'm roughly 34-35 weeks pregnant. It's not so much that I think I'll go into labor but just that we have a lot to do and I don't want to take care of two kids alone for a weekend while feeling miserable.

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