WTF Wednesday

mrsdaddario · June 2016

Getting it started nice and early on Hump Day. What is your WTF today?!

Image: https://media.giphy.com/media/p6h7xaaASdyLu/giphy.gif

GrabberBlue2010 · June 2016

Image: https://media2.giphy.com/media/lrpC7EPBderkY/200.gif

Ok so WTF is a 2 part on DH.... and myself.

DH: First I want to say I completely get where DH is coming from, to a point. But I am still mad AF and I feel like shit for being mad. We have HIO WWAAAAYYYYY more than we ever have in a 1 month period. I am tired. I know he is tired. But with delayed O, it just has to be done. While showing him my chart yesterday, while waiting on a CBAD to show a result, I was explaining my temp drop and showed him past charts and what that normally means for me. By that time the results came up and I had a big fat solid smiley face (for the 3rd time this month). He very carefully mentioned that I have said that I might be O'ing 2 other times this month and that we have gotten those smileys twice already. And while he doesnt mind all the sex (gee thanks for not "minding") it is just a LOT of work and he is getting tired. I told him that I was sorry but that is the joy of being with someone who has a problem (PCOS), and even in general with no issues, things can get out of whack. And I also explained that sometimes the body will gear up to O and doesnt quite make it. The past couple times we have HIO he takes a long time to finish, and it hard for him to keep... well... hard. He takes meds that can effect this, and make it more difficult, but he usually doesn't take his full dosage when he knows we have to HIO. He says he has been staying true to that, just that he is tired. He was very careful with what he said and how he said it, but it just rubbed me the wrong way.

And WTF goes to me because I feel the way I do about the situation. I feel like he is having a hard time because of me... somehow. I try and spice it up so it is exciting, but then I feel it is not working and hence the performance issues. I get down on myself because of things I cannot control with my body. Hell, usually I am ending my 1st week in the TWW by now. I just get myself all pissed off for things that neither one of us can control. And while logic says its him, and all that we are doing to try and get KU, I still pin it all on me.
Also, I have been eating clean like a champ most of the month. And it makes me wonder if that is delaying anything and if so why the F am I doing it.

Image: https://media2.giphy.com/media/n60aPuXZLJNiU/200.gif

...... I am completely irrationally insane....

mrsdaddario · June 2016

@GrabberBlue2010 I'm sorry you guys are having such a hard time this go around. PCOS sucks. The good news for you is you DO ovulate on your own. A lot of us with PCOS don't. So I think you need to remind DH that you two are lucky, and it could be worse. Skipping a day right now might be a good idea for a number of reasons. Your sanity, his sanity, his sperm count/quality. I know taking a day off, in what could be the prime time, sounds unbearable and you're probably like, yeah mrsdaddario ooookkkkaaaayyy lol. But it's true! Especially because with PCOS, your LH can surge multiple times a cycle (as you know) but mean absolutely nothing. I hope you two can find a good balance!

My WTF Wednesday goes to myself. And my fat kid-ness lately. I hate dieting. I hate exercising. I hate all of it. But I have to do it because carbs make me fat. I lost 30lbs for my wedding in September. I felt/looked great. I've gained 9lbs of that back. And it's a struggle to keep it off, but I've been doing okay. The last three weeks I haven't done a single entry into My Fitness Pal, which is the one thing that usually can make me guilty enough to stay on track, with a weekend cheat day. Well the cheat day rolled into a cheat weekend, rolled into cheat dinners during the week. So the only meals I've been good for are breakfast and lunch. I caught myself in a full length mirror at work today, and could see the chunk in full force. You would think with my PCOS I would have the drive to stay healthy and on track. But I don't. On one hand I want to be good and healthy. On the other I wish I didn't care and could just be okay with myself. But I know at 5'2" with PCOS AND Multiple Sclerosis, being a healthy weight is extremely important. Sigh. #thestruggleisreal

hezzer78 · June 2016

My WTF today goes to my DH.

We made a commitment when we got back from vacation to focus on being healthy. We had been eating and drinking in excess way too much and needed to restart. We decided to do a whole30 and use it as a stepping off point to getting back on the clean eating/exercise train. (DH also has psoriasis and we were hoping it might help with all that).

The rules are that if you slip, you have to restart. DH went out yesterday with people he works with, and while he skipped on the pizza, he had a beer. He came home and felt super guilty about it and grumbled about having to restart, but in my head, I'm like "WTF?!? We were supposed to go through this together.

"

I know peer pressure is a bitch, and I didn't make a huge deal out of it or anything, but it probably upset me more than it should. Health and fitness are really important to me - and it means so much to have your spouse on board with your lifestyle changes, ya know? (I also blame AF hormones for making me more sensitive

)

Sigh. I feel better now that I let that out

QueenOfGlitz · June 2016

@mrsdaddario - Trying to stay in shape can suck. But you've already made a HUGE accomplishment. Try not to punish yourself too much. Everyone falls off track sometimes and it would be MISERABLE if you never cut yourself some slack and indulged!

----

My WTF Wednesday is to myself. I feel so sick.. and it's summer. Loaded up on mucinex, b12 and vit c and moping my way through work.

kiki75 · June 2016

For all of you who have been told, "Just relax", I have an even better one for ya!

H called his mom last night just to talk to her for a few minutes. Now, you should know that, if it were up to her, we would have been married and KU about nine years ago, six months after we first started dating. She has been hounding us nonstop for years. Including gems like, "You could be a couple months pregnant at the wedding and no one would know." "(on Mother's Day) Maybe you could have one of these next year!" "Don't you think that your kids should be close in age to their cousins?" "(leaving a family event) Go home and make babies!!!" And on and on and on and on. I just roll my eyes, give her smart a** answers (I told her 2021 was sounding like a good year for a first Mother's Day) and try to see the humor in it.

She kind of knows we're trying because his brother is getting rid of all of their baby stuff and we are gladly accepting it. So last night they're talking about one thing and then all of a sudden,
MIL: How's the pregnancy thing coming?
H: What?!
MIL: How's the pregnancy thing coming??
H: When there's something to know, you'll know.
MIL: Well, you know Aunt and Uncle tried for a really long time for Firstborn Cousin. They went to the doctor and the doctor told Uncle to stop wearing tighty whities.
H: Mom. I do not wear tighty whities. Thanks though.
MIL: So what's the holdup? Is there a problem??
H: Mom. Everything is fine. We'll let you know when there's something to know.
MIL: But why is it taking so long?
H: Mom. Remember that I travel a lot........

On one hand, I'm super annoyed and on the other, there's no point in being annoyed because it won't change anything so we just laughed about it.

canokr01 · June 2016

@Kiki75 ahhhh!!!!! I know how that goes!!! My DH family likes to talk about us reproducing a lot..his one cousin always says..."oh they were making babies thats why dh was late for *whatever* today. Its so frustrating. One time I got drunk and said I wanted to have 5 kids by the time I am 30 (im 26 now...) and one of DH other (male again ) cousins NEVER lets me forget that and makes comments about we better hurry up and crap. I want to punch them all in the face and tell the to STFU...

I'm sorry I went on a rant ..I guess that is my WTF haha

KirstinH88 · June 2016

@Kiki75 I have always been pretty open with my family about TTC. They were all aware when I had my IUD removed and because we all expected it to happen fairly quickly, everyone kept asking me every time they saw me if I had any news. **TW loss** Then I did get pregnant, but MC within a week of the BFP. Again, since I am an open person, I did share this with them. Since then, no one has really asked any questions. They know we are still trying, but maybe now they see that getting KU isn't as easy as we all thought it would be.

GrabberBlue2010 · June 2016

@mrsdaddario - Thank you for such kind words. And you are right. It is nice to talk to someone who gets it! (And I am saying that on the account of my WTF & yours). Maybe we do need to lay off of it tonight. I called H early and said I wanted to talk about some time this evening. We've managed EOD lately and that really IS sufficient. Thank you for bringing me back to reality and grounding me. I really appreciate it. And to add, I am completely behind you with the weight loss struggles. PCOS makes it SO hard. And I have the exact same struggles you do on a daily basis. Breakfast and lunch is perfect. Dinner, and afternoon snacks and weekends are the undoing of all my good. And working out *laughs hysterically*. But hey, I am totally on your side and here if you want/need support/accountability. I am on MFP too and if you want to buddy up on there let me know

@hezzer78 - Ugh!!! So sorry he slipped! But a deal is a deal! You are right, health is so important and you BOTh went into it with the same goals in mind. It is the motivation to not have to restart that drives us. Yes we are all human and slip up but get right back on the wagon and keep on going! Way to go with your dedication!!! And holding DH accountable. LOL

@Kiki75 - WWOOOOWWW!!!! That IS a gem. I kind of have this, humored but baffled expression going on. He had some great responses though.

AliciaGoose · June 2016

@GrabberBlue2010 I'm sorry your DH is having trouble staying on board. I don't have PCOS so I can't pretend to know what it's like to deal with that on a regular basis, but what I can say is I had a delayed O with two LH surges in one cycle, and it was exhausting for both myself and DH, so I can only imagine what it's like with 3! Don't feel down on yourself. It isn't your fault, and you both have a part in doing what's needed when it comes to TTC. I hope he can be a trooper and suck it up for you!

@mrsdaddario I'm literally right there with you. I've been HORRIBLE for a month now. And this week I finally have started to feel as horrible as I've been eating. I similarly lost about 45 pounds for my wedding that was in November, and have yo-yo'd back and forth with the same 15 pounds since then. Usually I can find some motivation to get me back on track, but it's been harder recently. But I have faith in both of us!!

@hezzer78 I tried to get my DH to do whole30 and he literally just laughed at me.

@Kiki75 Ugh, in laws can be the worst! Ours don't know we're TTC and I don't know if we're better or worse off because of it. Because we haven't told them I think they assume we're not interested. They respond to people who ask DH and I about kids by saying we're not ready yet. And they talk about my SIL who isn't even married yet having the first grand baby. So it's infuriating but in a different way.

@KirstinH88 I guess it's nice that they stopped asking and gave you some privacy! I actually feel bad for my SIL because the in laws and aunts and uncles already talk constantly about her having a honeymoon baby and every time they do I just want to be like "You all know it's not always that easy, right?" But if I did I would give myself away. I don't want people to be all over her when they start trying in case it does take time. And I don't think anyone is ever prepared for how much of a process TTC actually is. The one thing I tell any of my friends when they start saying unrealistic things about having kids on a strict timeline is please just do some research now. It'll save you a lot of heartache in the long run.

AliciaGoose · June 2016

I forgot to actually include my own WTF

Mine is my body. 6 days of legit EWCM (as in like I don't even have to fish around to find it, it makes itself known multiple times a day) but OPKs that are still so negative they blind me. They've gotten minimally darker. Like very minimally. Get your sh*t together body! I'm not a fan of whatever it is you're doing.

KirstinH88 · June 2016

@AliciaGoose That is great advice that you give your friends. Honestly, I wish I would have been more in tune with my body. When I began TTC for my 2nd in Nov 2015, I didn't even know when I ovulated. Or even how long my cycles were. I pretty much was just going with the flow. After the MC, I felt like I really needed to take more control of the situation and start figuring out how my body works, so I started temping. Have you reached out to your SIL in private. I know TTC is a very private matter for some women, but it may make the journey a little easier for you both if you have someone in real life to talk to as well. But again, that is why I love this community because we are all supportive of each other and are all in the same boat.

GrabberBlue2010 · June 2016

@AliciaGoose - Thank you for that! It is really frustrating. As long as I have been at this, it is for some reason just now hitting me how hard it is. Each month I learn more and more and watch for more things with my body and it makes it so much harder. I hope we can stay on the same page and keep riding it out. Or at least not feel awful about the situation. Thank you sweetness!

ETA - That is a long time with ample EWCM! FX O shows!

AliciaGoose · June 2016

@KirstinH88 I am a planner, so I did what not a lot of people do and did a ton of research before we started trying, so I feel like I have so many things I can share with people to make their lives easier based on the time I put in! But like you said it's hard because it is a private journey and some people really want to take a more relaxed approach and others just don't want to talk about it at all. I don't know which my SIL will be because I haven't spoken to her about it yet. I will though. TW: loss - She is actually the only person in DHs family who knows we had a mc (I shared with her post loss). I'm assuming she knows by default that we were trying, but she hasn't brought it up (which I appreciate).

KirstinH88 · June 2016

@AliciaGoose your SIL seems very sweet, especially to not bring up your MC to the family. I'm sure she will be a great person to have in your support corner in the future. And you in hers. Even if you have different approaches for TTC, its nice to have that person that you can vent/talk to.

TravelingCouple · June 2016

Ugh @GrabberBlue2010 I'm so sorry

Timed, forced sex really is for the birds. It's funny how no one tells you how much of a CHORE sex becomes when TTC. I agree with @mrsdaddario that maybe a day off is in order!

My WTF is for DMIL who knows that DH and I have been ready for a second since DS was 6 months old. I didn't even get my first PP cycle until DS was 11 months old and we've been trying ever since. DMIL knows this. Yet, still, every time we talk on the phone "When are you going to have another?" "If you want more than two, you should get a move on"

Besides the fact that I've asked her to stop asking us about it and that she will KNOW when we're ready to tell her, last night we were talking and she had the nerve to ask "You are having sex at the right time right? You know you can only get pregnant specific times in your cycle." OH REALLY?!? WOW TYSM FOR THAT INFO!

RatParade · June 2016

WTF to the plum I ate half of before realizing there were (at least) 4 large fat pincher bugs in it.

HLD3194 · June 2016

@ratparade EEEWWW!!!!!!!!!!!! Shivers down my spine! That's always a fear of mine when eating fruits

jazzymommy90 · June 2016

My WTF goes to my new neighbors!

So we live in a row of connected townhomes and for the longest the home to the right of us was vacant and for sale. A nice young couple bought it and decided to renovate, no problem right...wrong! It all started a week ago when they where doing renovations at the worst possible hours (like 10 and 11 at night) so we talked to them and it all stopped until this morning. It was about 2 am and all we hear is banging and saws going at it...AT 2 AM!! So my DH gets up and goes to knock on the door to see what's going on, as he walked outside the neighbors 2 doors down from us also walked outside. So DH knocks and the "man" of their house answers and after a heated discussion he swings to try and punch my DH. Which is when I called 911, once the police got there and figured out what happened our neighbors where mad we called the police. I'm like it's 2 am and you are making all this noise at a time most people are sleep. The police deemed they where in the wrong and ordered them to not being work on their house until 8am any morning and to be done by 9pm on any night. DH didn't press charges for attempted assault...we just wanted to go back to sleep. What a way to start hump day!

mrsdaddario · June 2016

@jnalexander2 Stop! I can't believe that! That is crazy!! And it's only been 1 week since they moved in?!? Do you feel like you're already set up for a road of hell with them?! That's awful!! I know if someone swung at my DH, it would be over lol. Sounds like your DH has a lot of restraint!!

Also, I'm so glad I'm not the only person here who is struggling with not eating all of the food lol!

GrabberBlue2010 · June 2016

@jnalexander2 - OMG!!! What a-hole people!!! You would think they would want to fit in to the community, NOT be obnoxious asses. So sorry that happened!!!!!

jazzymommy90 · June 2016

@mrsdaddario yes it's only been 1 whole WEEK! And I really do feel like it's going to be a neighbors from hell situation, it's almost like they are trying to piss off everybody who lives around them. And honestly DH had about 3 people holding him back when the guy swung on him, it was not a pretty situation at 2am. It literally woke up the whole street lol!

AliciaGoose · June 2016

Update on eating all the food: I just had a 6 inch hoagie, a bag of popcorn, and a twix. But I mean I got the big twix with four pieces and I only ate two, so that's self control right?

canokr01 · June 2016

@jnalexander2 Oh they sound like real winners...god how awful I would have snapped! @RatParade omg omg omg omg so gross! yuck!

NYTino24 · June 2016

@hezzer78 I saw this yesterday or a couple of days ago and I'm trying to keep it in mind!

My wtf is to my scale. Maybe it's cause I'm 33, maybe it's cause I'm starting to get bloated... but I can't seem to lose weight and keep it off! I was hoping for a solid 10 pounds in 6 weeks. I know it's ambitious, but I have been eating right and exercising and can't seem to get rid of it!

jazzymommy90 · June 2016

UPDATE to neighbors from hell: Apparently they have thrown dog crap at everybody's door who was outside for the incident this morning! My DH literally saw them with a bag of it throwing it at every door on the block. What a wonderful day!

@canokr01 yes they are already well hated in the neighborhood!

@NYTino24 I know the feeling! I have been trying to get off the same 10 pounds for about a month stick in there you can do it!!

AliciaGoose · June 2016

@jnalexander2 What?! That is absurd. I honestly can't believe people like that even exist! Did you call the cops? It's insane that after a week they've already caused so many issues.

slaven · June 2016

@kiki75 From the time we got married we told everyone we were waiting at least 4 years, here we are married a year and a half TTC. The only people we are telling is my bff and my SIL. My SIL is a nurse and getting married. While she isn't quite at the TTC stage herself, she's able to be supportive of all the research I'm doing. My bff is supportive by nature but is still figuring out her own life. I know that if we told my MIL, everyone and their uncle would know. My MIL is also a labor and delivery nurse so while she's be helpful, I'm sure her input would get annoying fast.

@AliciaGoose We are just starting planning TTC. I told my SIL that I got a BBT and TCOYF and she was like "you're young, you don't need that", but honestly I have no clue about fertility. Since my teens I've been preventing pregnancy, not researching it. I think that's something that should be taught in school. I'm also a planner and at first was going to use every aid under the sun but held back on buying OPKs.

My WTF Wednesday isn't really a specific thing, I guess you could call it the uncertainty of military life. We actually decided to start now rather than wait 4 years because we know things can always pop up and waiting 4 years can turn into 8. Well, we're currently stationed in Korea with an expected leave date in beginning of 2017. Hubby just told me that he could be extended a few months for a big career boost which I support but that means if I get knocked up during a certain time span, I could be too pregnant to go back to the States or have a super young infant. There was the option of not TTC on months were the EDD was inconvenient for moving across the world, but even EDD isn't always correct. Our new course of action is to TTC as planned and if I'm KU when we go home for Christmas, I'll stay with my in laws until he comes back to the states. Also, this extension isn't set in stone so all this stress and planning could be for nothing.

AliciaGoose · June 2016

@slavenski I also agree that information about fertility should be more prominent in sex education. Knowing about ovulation and your fertile window is helpful not only in planning a family but also in preventing pregnancy. So many women have no idea 'how' they actually get pregnant! I think the choice of if / when to actually track ovulation is obviously up to each individual person. I'm a crazy planner so I went full tilt almost immediately. And now the things I do are just a part of my daily routine! I hope you find the same ease when you start.

Also that really is a tough situation to be in in terms of when to start and knowing what's going on with your DH! At least it seems like you've come up with a good plan for how to handle it!

felix08 · June 2016

@grabberblue2010 sorry you and DH are in a HIO slump--I think a lot of us here have been in a very similar situation. One of the things I despise most about TTC is that I feel like I am forcing H to have sex with me and I know he gets sick of it. Then I just feel super undesirable when I can tell he doesn't even really want to...it's like, I thought guys were always supposed to want sex!? I can't imagine how frustrated both of you must be right now waiting for confirmed O. I agree with @mrsdaddario--take a break for a day! Research shows EOD is almost just as effective as ED timing.
@mrsdaddario I also was in great shape for our wedding (last June), but I have definitely gained at least ten pounds and lost definition since then. But, I have to say losing 30 and only putting 9 back is still a 21 pound difference! That's great!! I also haaaate exercising but feel so much better after I force myself to do it. It seriously took me an hour this morning to convince myself to go into the basement and press play on my turbo kick dvd. Also, now that it's summer time, I've been eating (and drinking) like crap. And then I justify it because "I deserve this because I'm not pregnant so I can consume as much unhealthy shit and alcohol as I want." Totally backwards! Hope you find some motivation!
@hezzer78 Sorry that your H "cheated" on you! At least he felt guilty about it. How far into the 30 were you? If he starts over, maybe you could use it as an excuse to go super healthy a few more days with him?
@kiki75 @canokr01 I've started telling H's family that we decided not to have kids when they make dumbass comments
@jnalexander2 omg! That's crazy! I can't believe he tried to hit your H.

As for my WTF...just WTF does it take to KU!? Somebody please tell me.

GrabberBlue2010 · June 2016

@felix08 - Thank you for that!! You hit the nail on the head. That is exactly how I feel. FORCEFUL.
You ladies rock. Yall just GET IT

Want a personalized experience?

WTF Wednesday

Re: WTF Wednesday

Choose Another Board

Search Boards