When to make a move?

KyCade3013 · June 2016

im coming up on 6 months of trying and my doctor said it shouldn't take 6 months but if it does to come back and she'll try to help me. She said patients who go to my practice just have kids right away usually or mostly by accident. I think that further makes me feel bad.. Then the possibility of loss again. Does anyone know the rule of thumb on this? I'm 32 years old, just turned 3 weeks ago.

warning***** kids mention
i do have 2 kids, conceived without m/c or trouble but I was 27 & 28 when they were conceived. Maybe my eggs are no good now? sorry, I'm extremely thankful beyond words for my 2 kids but wondering when I should seek help or just accept the fact I can't have more kids.

BornReady · June 2016

Generally, the thinking is to seek help after 1 year of trying without a successful pregnancy if you are under 35. This is also the limit for interventions that would be covered by insurance. I wouldn't necessarily worry just yet, as statistically you are still well within those limits, but I understand your anxiety. That's amazing your doctor would say that 6 month statement, mine have been hard and fast on the 1 year trying.

dpjennifer · June 2016

At my follow-up appointment from D&C my doctor pretty much said she'd either see me in a year or when I got PG. So, I think a year is still considered standard. If you'd find it comforting, I know a lot of people come and go on this board from getting PG again within a few cycles of their MC, but there are still many of us that it takes much longer for. I'm at 8 months since my MC, although it feels like it's been forever.

iceandsnowflakes29 · June 2016

I think a year is appropriate. Especially if you have only had one loss? Is that correct? I can't see siggys I'm mobile. I hope 32 doesn't equal bad eggs cause I just turned 30!

Spartanrd4 · June 2016

It's been a year since I've been trying with one loss but my cycles are on the longer side and a lot of my past cycles we missed the FW all together due my DH's work schedule (he travels for work) so in the real scheme of things it hasn't been really a year. I followed up with my OB last month and she said if I'm not pregnant in 6 months to come back and we'll do some more work up. I'm 32 (will be 33 in October).

mylittleversailles · June 2016

I also just turned 32 and we're coming up on one year at the beginning of September. The pregnancy we lost was my first. I'm not sure when my doctor will count us at one year, though, as it could be after the loss. I have fibroids, though and that is something we're exploring now because it could be an issue and that has nothing to do with a year or not.

It really depends on how you are feeling about the whole thing. I am very nervous about all this, so I'm acting now. It's really up to you and your doctor and what you feel comfortable with.

dubcompanion · June 2016

I have also heard a year for anyone under 35. After 35, it's 6 months TTC before seeking medical help.

I'm 30, and this is my 6th cycle TTCAL. It took us 7 months to conceive with our first (which was our loss). TBH, her saying that most people have no trouble getting pregnant would rub me the wrong way, and even if she was willing to help me this soon, I'd want to go speak to another doc first. Because if the only reason why she's willing to help me is because "usually, her patients have no trouble," I'd just feel more comfortable getting another doc's opinion - if only to actually calm my anxiety, i.e. do I really need to be worrying after 6 months at 32?

But I mean, help is help, so if she's willing to get things started, that's also good, I suppose. Listen to your gut on this... Ultimately, it's what you are most comfortable with.

And only you can know the rapport and trust you feel with your current doc.

RiverSong15 · June 2016

I'm mobile, so I can't see siggys. What's your loss history? After 2 clinical losses (that is, you were far enough along that something could have been seen on ultrasound and it wasn't a chemical pregnancy), you would qualify for testing and evaluation at many places. Some insurance and REs stick to the 3 loss threshold, but I've qualified for testing and appointments with my two losses, so it would be worth looking into. This loss threshold would apply regardless of how long (or short) you've been trying, although as others have said, a year is pretty standard under 35.

If if you do go to your OB though, I would encourage you NOT to take Clomid from her, particularly if she isn't going to monitor you on it. You need regular ultrasounds to confirm the medication is working and that your lining isn't too thin. It's a big red flag if your OB hands you a prescription and tells you to just use OPKs.

KyCade3013 · June 2016

Thank you so much for the feedback. It has been extremely helpful. Thanks @RiverSong15 for the clomid warning, I feel like they would do that but don't know for sure. I've had 1 loss at 10 weeks, I had a strong heart beat at the 7 week ultra sound, but a small hematoma. The doctor forgot to review my ultra until I called two weeks later, than she told me not to run (I run a ton-well used to :-(...) to rest until it shrinks or goes away, baby will be bigger than it by 12 weeks and it should just dissolve... Long story short I was the 10% and had a Misscariage. I can't say how many times I've agonized over it in my head and it took something I used to love and made me feel like a total terrible human being for running thinking everything was ok, when I was probably losing my baby without knowing because my doctor forgot to call me... Anyway, sorry long tangent but that's my history. They are a weird practice, I may have to switch... They act like you should conceive so fast and it's just stressing and disheartening right now. Thanks for all the advice and feedback on age and time to conceive, I'll use the 1 year mark.

Edited for spelling*

iceandsnowflakes29 · June 2016

Whoa. Please find a new doctor. He or she sounds awful.

Eta no offense!

a2003tiger · June 2016

@KyCade3013, your story is similar to mine. I turn 35 next week and we've now been trying since June of last year. My OB was fairly proactive and sent me and DH for testing in January. Both checked out fine, so he started Clomid in February. I got pregnant right away, then had a MMC at 9 weeks. I've since done two rounds of Clomid and I'm still not pregnant. I am getting so frustrated. Oh and I have two kids. It's so weird to have no trouble, then suddenly, no luck getting pregnant.

No advice, just wanted to say you're not alone.

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