Non-CIO sleep methods

BGoperadiva · June 2016

Anyone doing any sleep training with non-CIO methods? Any successes/set backs? My husband and I are just not comfortable with letting lo CIO, but everyone I talk to around me says I need to let him do it. I know there are gentler methods, and I've seen some posts about them. Just wondering how those are going for parents implementing them on here.

nackie · June 2016

I'm also wondering about success stories. We've been trying pick up put down, but having very little success. Now that LO is teething, he's crying all night no matter what we do.

denaeb · June 2016

A great book for sleep training methods is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It explains sleep development at all ages and stages and gives suggestions for different types of sleep training depending on your comfort level. Personally CIO worked best for DD1, but I have a feeling if DD2 needs to be sleep trained CIO will not be the answer.

BGoperadiva · June 2016

@denaeb Oh yes I have this book, and am attempting to read it (in my spare time haha). We were trying the pick up, put down method, but not sure that's going to keep working as he is getting more awakened by that than soothed. I do have these muslin breathable security blankets that are being delivered today, because he seems to sometimes enjoy self soothing by holding onto a blanket. But he covers his face, so I needed a breathable one.

stephanienjer · June 2016

We have the Tiny Love Soothe and Groove mobile, and it is amazing. There's a white noise setting that lasts for 30 minutes, and when it's done, the mobile stops moving and the noise stops. I found that I could push that white noise button, and walk away. LO was content to watch it, and usually fell asleep before 30 minutes was up. It does take 3 batteries, so get a battery charger if you look into ordering it.

ashleyandjody · June 2016

We use the "no tears" method and it has been working great! I'm not going to try CIO because I know if we did CIO our LO would only get more worked up. Here's what we do:
1. Feed her 1 hour before bedtime
2. Play for 30 minutes
3. Change her diaper and put on pajamas (DH always does this)
4. Hugs and kisses goodnight
5. Lay down and give her paci (this usually happens between 7-7:30)
6. I sing the same 3 lullabies every night
She hasn't made it to the last lullaby for the past 2 nights. We always keep the room dark (with blackout curtains) and cool. I can always count on her waking 30 minutes later from trying to change sleep cycles. When I hear her I immediately go in and put paci back in her mouth. She does this between 4-5 more times before being settled for the night. If I hear her later on during the night I usually wait before going in and I place my ear on her door. It's always been just her moving in her sleep. She sleeps until around 5 when she needs a diaper change and to be fed. She then sleeps another 2-3 hours after that before she's up for the day.

EmmyMommy123 · June 2016

Hi @BGoperadiva , I know you've seen my post on the sleep training thread, but since it's been a few days I thought I'd update. The gist of it is that I sit at the crib so he can see me (although I've been sitting out of sight the past few days) and I comfort him before his fussing gets to crying by patting and shhing, turning him onto his side and patting and shhing, or if that isn't working, picking up him and patting shhing, or if that isn't working rocking on the chair and patting and shhing, and then putting him back down when he is calm. It is rare I have to pick him up - maybe once during the time he's falling asleep if even that, and even rarer that I have to rock him. He is putting himself to sleep after babbling/fussing increasingly often (although it still takes a while, it's taking less and less help from me). I am letting him fuss for longer now, since this seems to be part of his process (when I started training his fussing turned to crying pretty quickly so I was intervening a lot more). The key for him was not letting it get to crying... I tried shh pat and pick up put down before but I'd wait until he was crying and that didn't work because he couldn't calm down very easily and when I would put him down he would immediately cry. It seems he needed reassurance that I was there to help him.

He is on the high needs side, and goes from fussing to screaming very quickly, so I knew CIO wasn't going to work for us. Screaming = throwing up and it was just too hard on him and me! This method we are both sooooo much calmer and happier. I can totally stand doing this for 45 minutes - an hour no problem since it is stress free vs the 45 minutes - 1 hour I would spend rocking and patting him previously or vs any amount of screaming!

We've been at it for a week and he has slept at least one 6-8.5 hour stretch every night except last night (not sure why, but naps were a bit off yesterday so maybe that's why, regardless he still had a 5 hour stretch which is way better than what he was doing before I started this "training"). Most nights he does one long stretch, wakes up around 4, usually goes back down easily, and often stays asleep until between 7-8. Sometimes it takes a while for him to fall back asleep after his wake up. The time he falls asleep at the beginning of the night varies as he's still getting used to falling asleep on his own. Some nights he falls asleep within 30 minutes including nursing, some nights it's more like an hour. I usually start bedtime between 7-7:30. So overall I would say he is sleeping 10-12 hours with 1 wake up that ranges from 15 minutes - 1 hour. This is AMAZING for us, as a night with 3 wake ups I would have considered amazing previously.

Naps are getting longer (usually at least one 40 minute nap and the rest 30-40 and sometimes 1.5 hours compared to 10-20 minutes before). I try to follow a window of 1.5-2 hours for awake time between naps.

The progress I expect to see is that he will gradually need less and less intervention from me to fall asleep in his crib (I've already seen an improvement) and eventually no intervention from me. I have no timeline for this, I'll take it as slowly as he needs!

ETA: I think if you have the patience, time, and energy to dedicate to it then this method can work for you, but if you're expecting a quick fix then it seems CIO seems to be the way to go. Or if your baby is the type to cry for a few minutes and then calm down then CIO might work just fine. I was ok with a long fix if it meant no crying since crying wasn't working. I was also getting a lot of comments from people that "well my baby cried for 10 minutes and then was out you should try it" or "you should let him cry that study that just came out said its not harmful" and it was so hard to explain to people that it just wasn't going to work for my son! I definitely felt I needed to do SOMETHING cause he was overtired and I was exhausted and stressed, but it had to be something that worked for us, and after experimenting this was it. Try not to let others pressure you into something you aren't comfortable with!

mestokes · June 2016

Not really doing any sleep training here and don't think I can do CIO! Just trying to keep our bedtime and nap routines consistent and being strict about a 2 hour max wake time. Also trying to capitalize on daytime sleep, even if that means holding LO for a nap occasionally so he gets a good nap in. Slowly coming out of the sleep regression and we've gone from waking 5-6 times a night to 2-3 times. Hoping our consistency will pay off and we won't have to sleep train.

cali1710 · June 2016

BGoperadiva said:

@denaeb Oh yes I have this book, and am attempting to read it (in my spare time haha). We were trying the pick up, put down method, but not sure that's going to keep working as he is getting more awakened by that than soothed. I do have these muslin breathable security blankets that are being delivered today, because he seems to sometimes enjoy self soothing by holding onto a blanket. But he covers his face, so I needed a breathable one.

I have a bunch of these muslin blankets. My LO loves holding something but J never thought of these. I guess theyd be ok as they are breathable right ?

BGoperadiva · June 2016

He seems to be ok with it @cali1710. I am still paranoid and remove it from his face once he's asleep, but he, for whatever reason, loves to put the blanket over his face. I was awake and let him sleep like that for about 30 minutes and he was alright. I also have a Snooza that will alarm if he stops breathing, so I feel a little better about that. Plus, he's 5 months so he can remove it if he wants.

klbh · June 2016

@cali1710 my LO went through a phase of liking to rub a little washcloth (tiny and breathable) on his face before sleeping. Now he plays with a small, firm toy--or just thrashes around, haha.

kgcnyc · June 2016

I haven't read the sleep training thread, but both my pedi and OB told me that I should do some form of CIO. I didn't want to, but we were at a point where he would wake in the middle of the night wanting to eat and then would cry for 2 hours while my husband and I took turns trying to rock him to sleep after I fed him. That lasted for around 2 weeks and we were zombies. So, we planned to start on a Friday and really only the first night was hard. We went in every few mins to try to soothe without picking up and gradually increased the time (loosely followed Ferber). By the 4th night he cried for 5 mins and it's been 3 weeks of 10+ hours of sleep at night and 1-3 hour naps during the day. We even traveled and he slept perfectly in the hotel.
We also replaced paci with knit dish cloths (4x4 inch squares that his great grandma makes) and he LOOOOVES them.
I know it's not for everyone. But I do believe it really can work if you let it. Good luck with whatever you decide!!

Cricket99 · June 2016

So my LO has a rough time the few days after we get home from travelling. Admittedly I probably have something to do with that as I am quick to jump up and soothe in the middle of the night when we are on vacation because I don't want to disturb others in a hotel with a crying baby at 2am. The first two nights back from our vacation he was up every 2-2.5 hours. Can you say Mombie? The third night I decided I'd had enough. So I put him down at 6 as usual and sure enough he was up crying an hour later. He was definitely not hungry and I didn't want to be used as a human pacifier. I picked him up and rocked and shushed him until he was calm, then said goodnight and gave him a kiss and put him down. It took about 30 minutes of this pick up put down routine, but he finally fell asleep and was out for the rest of the night. In the past week I have had to do the pick up routine only twice in the last week and he's been sleeping 11 hours straight with one dream feed before I go to bed. Now we just need to work on the fact that just because it's light outside at 5 it does not mean it's an appropriate time to get up for the day. I tried CIO, but he just ramps himself up and makes himself sick and he does not like pacifiers. Hope that this helps some of you ladies who also have LOs who don't do CIO well!

Non-CIO sleep methods

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