How did you prepare LO (and yourself) for daycare?

maureenmce · June 2016

Hi all! After thinking we were going to have to get a nanny, we finally found a spot at a lovely home daycare run by a former Montessori teacher and we're thrilled! However, I am kind of nervous because a.) I am still dealing with some lingering postpartum anxiety b.) the only way my LO currently naps is with a bottle, being rocked, and literally being held the entire time she sleeps and c.) I...am so embarrassed to admit this, but I have not driven with her yet in the car because I have too much anxiety about it.

So! Any tips from you guys who have already gone through the daycare transition? I know a lot of you went back around 3 months - what was your nap situation like, and if it still was kind of a mess, did the daycare get your LO on a good nap schedule ok? Our provider encouraged us to start dropping the nap crutches now, but I have not had much success yet.

I feel a lot of pressure to have naps perfect by the time she starts, just put her down in a crib with soft music in a darkened room and she's out - but I wonder if that's unrealistic if she has so many crutches and I only have 6 weeks to do this. Any nap tips, any at all, especially about dropping sleep crutches like a bottle, rocking and being held, I would be very grateful!

And anxiety wise, any tips from fellow PPA moms who went through the daycare transition? I'm doing much better overall, but I really need to force myself to conquer the driving thing.

And, of course, any getting used to daycare tips in general would be much appreciated! I'm actually really looking forward to going back to work (I really love my job and have missed it) but, of course, I will miss my LO terribly and am having a hard time imagining not being the one taking care of her day to day.

Thanks all!

SDaniels19 · June 2016

Does your provider have a swing? Thats usually how my LO naps at daycare since at home we typically hold him until he's out. I know this doesn't count as getting rid of a crutch though. My LO is nearly 20 weeks and does not go down awake on his own yet either so don't feel bad! And try not to put too much pressure on yourself to perfect a nap schedule, you're doing a great job as is! Sorry I'm not too much help, but wanted to give you some encouragement

jessjuhnke · June 2016

When I brought DS in at 3 months our daycare was actually very relaxed about routine etc in that they said they understood it was still early and that they would work with us on that stuff. That actually really helped that some pressure off of feeling like I had to already have it all figured out. I'm sure since your provder has made a career of working with children she only expects you to have gotten so far at this point.
Emotionally those first days back will be hard, just be prepared and give yourself extra time in the morning. I think every mom I know cried in the car on the way to work that first day and it's ok to let yourself.

maureenmce · June 2016

@SDaniels19 - No, but we do and it's easily portable (and she could honestly keep it at the daycare, we rarely use it when home.) Good idea and thanks for the encouragement!

And thanks for the tips and reassurance @jessjuhnke ! I think I'm just nervous because of my anxiety and also the fact that LO will be the only baby at the daycare. (She only takes one baby at a time, the rest of the kids are 1 and up.) So I don't want her to be difficult to get down for a nap when all of the other kids have it mastered, but I shouldn't worry too much. The provider has been doing this for years and years. I am going to do what I can but try not to stress.

nackie · June 2016

We tried to get DS on a nap schedule and failed miserably. He does fine at daycare though. They swaddle him (which we stopped), stick him in a swing ang then move him to a crib when he falls asleep. He actually seems to enjoy daycare a lot.

ctmamaoftwo · June 2016

I'm a SAHM so no insight for the daycare questions but with my PPA and driving I got a mirror that goes on the back seat (like $20 at bed bath and beyond). It helped me calm down a lot being able to see his face and know he's ok, also I always plan for an extra 10 or so extra minutes to get where I am going. thay way I don't feel rushed and am able to take my time and make sure to just breathe. Good luck!

katievw311 · June 2016

My LO goes to daycare two days a week and she loves it!! She does use a swing for naps there...and at home, I know, we need to get her in her crib but she sleeps perfectly in her crib at night so we will get there eventually. She is almost 20 weeks and is still not on a consistent nap schedule. Daycare is perfectly fine with that and I would think that most are. I don't think they expect them to be on any sort of nap schedule until they are close to one year old. It is definitely nerve racking but all will be fine.
And, I also have a mirror that goes on the backseat so I can see my daughter and I feel like it's a lifesaver! SHe watches me in her mirror all the time and it also plays music and has lights on it.

cyanope · June 2016

I went back to work when LO was only 7 weeks old, and was most definitely NOT on a nap schedule. She would only take cat naps, and I had to hold her through most of those. I was TERRIFIED she would spend most of the day crying because she was such a demanding baby and my main day care provider (my SIL has an in-home day care) has a baby two months older than LO, as well as a few other kids that she watches. I had such major anxiety about it that I would cry every time I though about it.
Luckily, LO ended up being perfect. She still struggles to nap for DH and I, but for will take three hour naps for my SIL (it's insane). She just bounces her for a few minutes, pats her bum, waits until she's drowsy, and then puts her down in a Pack and Play. She would fuss for a few minutes at first, but now, she just goes right to sleep.
Day care tips:
1. Prepare EVERYTHING the night before, because the morning routine always takes longer than you expected.
2. Make a check list of "stuff" you need packed, and make sure to check it off every night (there's nothing that creates anxiety like realizing you forgot baby's bottle...especially when she only takes a certain kind).
3. Expect to cry for the first few days...and be okay with it.
4. Like you, I missed work, and even though I miss my baby terribly when I'm away, work has become an outlet for me. And a break from the routine of baby stuff. If you end up feeling the same way, DON'T feel guilty. Every woman is wired differently. (I'm still working on the guilt).
5. Give yourself some time every day after work, to just "be" with your baby, before you start rushing around preparing for the next day.
And as far as the car situation goes, I would suggest that your take your husband as a passenger for your first few drives, before you have to attempt it on your own. Good luck!

jodiedrich18 · June 2016

I'll echo pp's about naps. Our center is very relaxed and let us know consistent nap schedules for most kiddos doesn't happen until they're older. LO naps much better at daycare than at home, she usually does the swing there to fall asleep but has done several crib naps which she NEVER has done at home.
I can sympathize on the anxiety, although mine was for LO refusing bottles before I went back at 10 weeks pp. I was worried sick. It has turned out beautifully and LO never had a bottle issue with them. I truly lucked out that the daycare ladies were so supportive when i told them about this and they would take extra time at pickup each day to talk about how she did. They weren't fazed by bottle refusal and were so encouraging.

My best advice would be to be kind to yourself. Know going into it that there will be these awesome days where you'll feel like superwoman and the most productive human alive, and others where you are drowning with no life preserver in sight. Totally normal. I use my drive to compartmentalize and leave work at work before picking up LO. Also, talk with your boss and supervisor on expectations and such about schedule, leave, flexibility in start or end time etc. so you can enlist support for needs as they do and will happen. Leave extra time in the morning the first week or two as you adjust and get used to the new normal.

You can do this! I love my job and was so happy on one hand to return like you but it was so hard leaving LO as well. It will get better!

ashleyandjody · June 2016

Currently a SAHM, so no advice about daycare. I agree with PP about a mirror in the car to see LO and DH as a passenger. Also have you tried to just drive around your block? When you feel comfortable with that drive a little further. Another thing that helped me was to realize if DD started crying, I could always pull over in a parking lot and see if she was ok. You've got this mama, good luck!

maureenmce · June 2016

Thank you guys SO much for the tips. These are really helpful and making me feel less anxious. Sorry, I haven't had a chance to respond until now, but very much appreciated, all of you!

Rakastajatar · June 2016

Yes the mirror is great to have, that way the both of you can see each other. When my LO cries, she cries, not much you can do other than try to talk to her. I do pull over on a rare occasion (for example when the sun is in her eyes, I cover her infant car seat with a blanket)

Time in you will trust your provider and she will honor your requests in the meantime to help make the transition as comfortable as possible.

IF you are close by, maybe you can swing by during lunch to see how your LO is doing.

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