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February 2017 Moms
srscott3
member
Anyone with a surprise BFP wish they lost weight before pregnancy?
srscott3
member
Don't worry, I know how selfish this sounds. I KNOW. But I can't help it that my mind went there.
I've struggled with weight my whole life, but I lost about 7 pounds in the past couple months because DH and I started marathon training. Of course I know I can still exercise (obviously not run a marathon), but I also know I'm supposed to gain, not lose.
We planned to start TTC in 2017, but got a surprise BFP a couple days ago. We're so excited to be pregnant, but I guess I just feel that I wanted to be healthier when it happened.
I feel awful! Please tell me someone else has had these thoughts
I've struggled with weight my whole life, but I lost about 7 pounds in the past couple months because DH and I started marathon training. Of course I know I can still exercise (obviously not run a marathon), but I also know I'm supposed to gain, not lose.
We planned to start TTC in 2017, but got a surprise BFP a couple days ago. We're so excited to be pregnant, but I guess I just feel that I wanted to be healthier when it happened.
I feel awful! Please tell me someone else has had these thoughts
Re: Anyone with a surprise BFP wish they lost weight before pregnancy?
I do wish I had lost some weight from my last baby before getting pregnant again, but I can't control that now! All I can do if try to be as heathy as possible while pregnant and I'm hoping I can manage the cravings without gaining too much.
Married: October, 19, 2015
EDD 2/22/17
EDD 3/8/20
EDD 11/24/23
(Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
As PP have said, you can - and should! - still work out through your pregnancy, as long as your doc is on board. Typically, it is better for your baby and for your postpartum recovery to do so. You could also see a Registered Dietician (make sure to choose one who specializes in pregnancy nutrition) to make a plan for strategic weight gain, or even maintenance depending on your pre-pregnancy size. But most of all, you have to forgive yourself for the should'ves and could'ves. That door is closed for now, but it's by no means locked forever.
________________________________________________________
Started TTC #1 November 2015
BFP 6/10/2016 - EDD 2/22/2017
I've been exercising regularly and was just starting to get comfortable with 50 minutes per day, 4-5 x per week. I wasn't loosing weight, but I could tell I was trading fat for muscle. I was hoping to lose 15 pounds or more before BFP, but...oh well!
I do plan to keep exercising, though lower impact, and only what I have energy for.
I've read different numbers of exactly how many extra calories are required during pregnancy, but most sources say we don't need extra calories in the first trimester. The link below says over 400 cal extra by last trimester, while others say only 200 extra cal per day. Of course, we should each talk to our health care providers about our individual situations.
Here's an article that breaks it down nicely:
https://www.eatright.org/resource/health/pregnancy/prenatal-wellness/healthy-weight-during-pregnancy
I can't.
The insensitivity is more than I can handle.
Lucy 07-13-11
Violet 03-13-14
Conceived #3 since September 2015
11-25-15 twelve week loss
07-21-16 ten week loss
10-03-16 5 week loss
TTC again soon!
^That was kind of rude.
I'm with you on the weight. I had been trying to lose 10 lbs, lost 3, then bfp. It sucks sometimes, but I just try to stay positive. We're growing a baby!!!
ME: 25, DH: 27
TTC #1 since 09/2015
Miscarriage @ 10 wks 02/28/2016
BFP 05/28/2016!
I am so so sorry. I did not mean any offense by this post at all. I am brand new to TB, and I thought these forums were places to open up about insecurities and worries.
I realize that not everyone is in the same situation, but I was just looking for others in the same situation as me.
I should have said this already, but I really am overjoyed and feel so blessed to be pregnant. I'm just terrified that I'm already being a "bad mom" for not being healthy and giving my baby a healthy start.
I do hope you stay with this BMB and again, I apologize for any insensitivity
At the same time, if I do get to stay, I do wish I had have taken more care to lose weight prior to bfp because it would mean a healthier pregnancy for me and baby. I am overweight. My last baby, they think I passed the GD test but shouldn't have. He was unexpectedly 10lbs and needed a few days in the NICU because he couldn't regulate his blood sugar, and I do feel guilt that I could possibly have caused these issues by not being in my best health.
I will say that although I don't know what you're struggling with, none of us truly know what the other is dealing with and I don't think it's fair to discount anyone else's feelings just because one may be struggling with something "bigger" than that.
Weight loss/gain can be a true trigger for a person who has struggled in the past with eating disorders, etc. and OP may have a history that she's not expanding on.
We all have struggles and I don't think anyone should be made to feel like their struggle is any less than what they believe it to be.
Big Bro 7/14/13
Little Bro 2/6/17
On topic:
I understand how you feel. I was fit before my pregnancy last year. I gained over 50 pounds with baby and had 15 more to go when I got pregnant this time around. It was my plan to shed the weight but DS#1 was/is a fussy high needs baby and still not sleeping through the night plus I'm working fulltime. In the end, something had to give as I wasn't getting any sleep, was behind at work and stressed about fussy baby and work. I love the little guy to pieces but alas I can't do it all and he comes first. Now that things are getting better and have been for the last couple months or so, I was hoping to address the life imbalance and find some me time to exercise and prepare meals in advance etc. I've been wondering about trying to trim down anyway by reducing snacking - the stuff that is unhealthy, going for walks, getting more active again etc.
I see that you were marathon training - that's awesome. For what it's worth, I ran up to 5 months in my last pregnancy - then I stopped because I had to pee every 15 steps and then it was all over! Of course, you should check with your doctor but usually exercise is fine and encouraged for normally progressing pregnancies as long as you don't overdo it.
As @BumpasaurusRex mentioned, yes there is definitely an underlying reason why weight gain is as big of an issue to me as a loss is to someone else.
Warning: TMI
I lost about 50 pounds between 2012 and 2014. It was mainly for my wedding in 2013, but then I just kept going. Which felt amazing after being overweight since I was 12.
When I started law school in August 2014, I started to experience "catcalling" for the first time in my life. Then in October 2014 I was sexually assaulted by a classmate/member of my study group.
Recovery from that has been equally life shattering for both DH and I. My way through recovery was to gain weight on purpose. When I was overweight, no one catcalled.
So as of now, June 2016, I have gained back 60 pounds, feel winded at the smallest of tasks, and overall just feel unhealthy.
I didn't start this post because I'm vain and care about my looks. Quite the opposite actually. I started it because I feel absolutely awful for purposely gaining weight and putting my baby at risk.
I'm sorry for being so blunt and open, but if there is even a chance that there is someone else in the same boat as me and they happen to stumble upon this, I would want them to know they're not alone. Thank you all again for your kind words and for making this BMB a safe place. If there are any moms in San Antonio, TX that would like to start an exercise group a couple times a month, I would love to meet y'all.
Happy thoughts and vibes to all expected little ones
After having DD, it took 2 years but I lost the weight with a combination of work outs and diet plans. When I got pregnant again, I was so excited and felt like I was healthier than ever. Sadly, that pregnancy quickly turned into a loss and I gained 10 lbs from my anxiety and stress eating within a few weeks.
Next cycle, I found out I was pregnant again. I'm trying to keep myself under control but I do feel less healthy than before the last (unsuccessful) pregnancy and I do feel guilt about that. Also, my MS is driving a lot of my food cravings/aversions. I'm hoping the sickness lets up so I can go on walks or bike.
FWIW, I didn't take offense to this post. I don't think it is selfish to want to be healthy for our children. Weight has been a very challenging subject in my life - even recently, my mother made a comment that I already look 6 months pregnant while tapping my belly. I really have a complex about my weight so I do know how damaging some of these huge body changes can be to a person. In the big picture, just trying to maintain a healthy lifestyle as much as possible is a great gift to give your child.
Your body WILL change and it might not ever look the same, but it does miraculous things and grows a tiny human. And THAT'S pretty amazing!
Im going to try really hard this time not to gain so much weight the first trimester like i did last time and one thing I'm planning on doing is actually looking at the scale. Last time I didn't and it was devastating when the nurse blurted out my weight and I just don't want to feel that way again.
@MamaCoffin- please continue to stay with us. There are going to be a lot of posts that may trigger different things for different women but overall, everyone is here to support each other. This journey can sometimes be a very lonely one no matter what support system you have at home. Some days you might want to scream or cry or laugh about something no one at home could possibly understand, but there are women here that will laugh/cry/rant along with you. It seems overwhelming at first but like others have said, everyone is just trying to get to know one another and like any friendship, it takes time.
Between the gastroparesis and excessive weight loss in my first pregancy, one of the requirements for me to be considered healthy enough for a pregnancy was to be overweight and maintain that. After my miscarriage, I gained a little more weight, because I lost weight continuously the few weeks I was pregnant and was terrified that's why I lost the baby.
I look so fat. I feel so fat. It's good for me, good for the baby and kind of does a number on my head anyway.
I also wish I had lost more weight before my BFP. DH and I TTC for 3 years and 4 months, with many rounds of infertility treatments, including IVF... So this was not a surprise BFP and I totally had time to prepare for this! Instead of dropping 20lbs over the last few years, I gained 30lbs (then dropped 12lbs up to BFP). It sucks, and I think there is nothing wrong with wanting to have gotten into a better place physically before having a baby, but such is life, right??
Please don't be too hard on yourself! You are doing what you can for you and your baby and that is what matters!
HSG: Sept 2014, clear tubes
Dx: MFI - Low motility, morph, count (Aug. 2014); Hypothyroidism (May 2015)
Moved to IUIs October 2014
IUI #1 w/ injections: Nov 2014- BFN
IUI #2 w/ injections: Jan 2015- BFN
IUI #3.1 w/ injections: Feb. 2015, cancelled due to cysts- 10 days BCP
IUI #3.2 w/ injections: Feb/March 2015- BFN
IUI #4 w/ 100mg Clomid + Injections: August 2015- BFN
IUI #5 w/ 5mg Femara + Injections: September 2015- BFN
IUI #6 w/ 5mg Femara + Injections: October 2015 - Cancelled due low response
Moved to IVF May 2016
Retrieved 18 eggs on 05/27/2016, 13 were ICSI'd, 9 made it to day-five transfer
Transferred 2 beautiful day-five embryos on 06/01/2016, froze 7
BFP 4dp5dt on 06/05/2016! Line continued to darken beautifully!
EDD: February 17, 2017
Beta #1: 92
Beta #2: 305
Ultrasound #1 - one baby!
Ultrasound #2 - saw heartbeat!
LFAF Badges:
This time I have a normal BMI and have already gained 3lbs (I'm fairly certain it's just bloat but still!)
All that to say talk to your doctor about how much you should gain, my doctor said 0-10lbs first time, this time my doctor says 15-20.
My DH and I have both put on weight after our wedding (2 years ago) and he complains about it a lot (but doesn't do much about it!) So we've agreed we need to get in better shape to set a good example. For us it's not about vanity, it's about health and being ready to teach our kids a healthy life-style.
Also, I'm 39 and he's 37, so taking care of ourselves so we can be active with our children when they are starting their own families is in the back of my mind.
Just saying, it's fine to continue something you were already doing. I don't know how far into training you were, though. If you were running 40mpw before, and you feel fine, I don't see an issue with continuing. I'm currently at 40mpw, and won't up that (for lots of reasons, mostly because I'm not nuts). But you could continue with your current level of running. After a few months, unless you were a C25Ker, never running before, you probably could do at least a 10K or half marathon by now.
I, obviously, just want more running moms in the group.
Me: 35 DH: 38 | Married: 6/2013 | Pregnancy #1, APurp born 10/2014
Pregnancy #2, BFP 6/4/2016, MMC at 9W, D&E: 7/21/16 | Pregnancy #3, BFP 11/22/16
I found out I was pregnant the week after running a half (and getting a PR!). I ran with my first pregnancy, too, but wasn't in nearly as good as running shape as I am now. With my OB's blessing, I am continuing to train for a half in October and am window shopping for support belts to help me do it.
I also do not believe in the blanket statement that every women needs to gain a certain amount of weight for a healthy baby. While depriving yourself of nutrients and calories shouldn't be the goal, you don't need those extra 300 calories a day until closer to the 2nd trimester. But, everyone's needs are different and as long as everything is communicated through your OB, there shouldn't be many unforeseen problems (except for those out of our control.)
I think this is an important topic women don't talk about enough. Even though a healthy baby is everyone's goal, we too often gloss over the natural grieving process many go through when their body changes. Saying after the fact that those changes are due to creating a wonderful child can be helpful to some, but is also dismissive to real body image issues and loss of what once was. It's normal.