I need some help — The Bump
Potty Training

I need some help

Hi everyone, 

I'm a regular on the TTCAL board but, I've never posted here. 

I could really use some help because I feel like I've tried everything.

I started trying to potty train my son at 3 years old. 

For awhile, he did GREAT. I thought we were like at least 80 % potty trained. And then he regressed. He will use the potty at preschool and come home  and want a diaper. I regret the day I consented to him wearing a diaper after school. I've never wanted to push him so I let him wear one. 

Now MONTHS later, I have a child that refuses to use the potty at home and wants nothing to do with underwear at home. 

I've tried bribery, begging, 500 pairs of new underwear with his favorite characters on them and nothing works. 

I have bought him 2 different pottys. 

He is almost 4 and a half!  

I feel like a complete failure and I don't know what else to try.  

If anyone has any input I would greatly appreciate it. 

I'm concerned and embarrassed about his age :(  His preschool teacher and many friends have assured me it will happen but,  I'm starting to worry he will go to Kindergarten in a pullup. We still have one more year of preschool to get it together. 

Re: I need some help

  • Sorry if this sounds harsh but I think you made a mistake by letting him go back to diapers when he got home the first few times. I know this is usually against what I say about potty training but I feel you should just put underwear on him regardless when he gets home from preschool. My son was very stubborn about underwear too and I just put some on him one day and really emphasized that he couldn't go pee or poo in his underwear and to use the potty. He had accidents for a whole week, but it got better and eventually was potty trained in no time.
    DD#1 born 12/30/2015
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    DS#1 born 02/19/2013
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  • I agree :-(. You should have never went back to diapers. Has he seen a pediatrician? Could there be underlying issues? Regression is normal and I have heard it's a lot harder for boys to use the potty than girls. 
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  • No not harsh! I welcome constructive criticism. I will keep chugging along and attempting to get him back into underwear. I think I'm just not going to buy pull ups. If they're not in the house he can't be tempted. 

    Thank you!
  • No not harsh! I welcome constructive criticism. I will keep chugging along and attempting to get him back into underwear. I think I'm just not going to buy pull ups. If they're not in the house he can't be tempted. 

    Thank you!
    Exactly! Just ditch the diapers and go straight underwear.
  • *LrCg**LrCg* member
    Whether you made a good decision or not to go back to diapers after school is a pointless topic at this point so stop worry about it- you can't change it now.  Obviously since he has no issues at school, he can do it at home.  There's no reason for you to cater to him (at his age) with treats, bribs and fun underwear.  Buy a pack of the basic plain underwear and he's to stay home until he's doing just as well on the potty at school as at home.  At this point, HE needs to EARN fun underwear, ice cream treats, special trips, even trips outside of the house.  Does this sound harsh- yeah it does and it would absolutely NOT be okay to potty train a toddler this way but for a preschooler who has no issues in using the potty at school and is clearly just be stubborn I see no issues with it.  He's discovered he has power over you and he's using it to his advantage and you need to flip this or it will be a very slippery slope.  It may mean a lot of unfun summer days spent at home but I'm going to say after a week of no fun time outside the home, no tv, no special treats, etc. he'll start coming around.
  • Just wanted to update!

    It took a knock down drag out ultimate meltdown and some favorite things revoked plus, he missed a fun activity, and it was like a 40 minute fight but I dug my heels in and got him in underwear! !!!! 

    I think I was conflicted because my dumb mother thought I was "pushing it" but, thank Goodness you ladies talked me off that ledge. 

    We are on day 3 of underwear and no accidents. FX this is finally it.

    Unfortunately he has a drawer full of character underwear from all the other failed attempts so he's wearing characters but, I don't care at this point as long as wears underwear, any underwear. 

    Thank you again. Honestly, I don't think anyone was harsh. I wanted honesty and you all confirmed what was already in my intuition. Like, I said, I had my dumb mother on my shoulder telling me totally opposite and it was causing me doubt. 
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