Benched/TTA Check-In (6/13)

izza2 · June 2016

***General TW that this thread can and will mention MC and loss.***

This is a place for those of us who have already started TTC, but have hit a roadblock and are delaying for whatever reason. You can express your thoughts, feelings, and frustrations on not TTC and connect with others who are in the same boat. TTC can be a long journey, and having to wait makes it feel even longer- even if it is for a good reason.
Feel free to resurrect this thread at any point in the week if you have something to say, and treat this like an ongoing conversation.

Benched = involuntarily not NTNP/TTC and are "out of the game," usually due to medical reasons
TTA = avoiding pregnancy by using protection or FAM, usually for non-health-related reasons __________________________________________________________________
Are you benched or TTA?

What brings you here?

How long do you think you'll be here?

How have things been going?

Any R/R/CS?

GTKY: If you could go on a road trip to anywhere tomorrow, where would you go?

thj101 · June 2016

Are you benched or TTA? TTA

What brings you here? waiting for better timing...

How long do you think you'll be here? Hopefully not past October

How have things been going? Ok, I guess!

Any R/R/CS? Not today, but I'm sure I will by the end of the week seeing as I'm taking off work early on Friday!

GTKY: If you could go on a road trip to anywhere tomorrow, where would you go? To the beach.... just any beach.. I'm dying to go right now!

mtmama2 · June 2016

Are you benched or TTA? TTA

What brings you here? Vacation to an area with active ZIKA virus

How long do you think you'll be here? 5 more weeks

How have things been going? Pretty well, I got to hold a friend's 6 week old yesterday and it made me really excited to start trying

Any R/R/CS? Not yet, but it is still pretty early!

GTKY: If you could go on a road trip to anywhere tomorrow, where would you go? Glacier National Park! DH and I have been trying to plan a trip there for awhile now but our schedules are pretty crazy at the moment. I keep seeing friends posting pictures from their trips on FB and I'm super jealous!

kiwi2628 · June 2016

Are you benched or TTA? TTA

What brings you here? Timing

How long do you think you'll be here? As of right now, Sept 7th (CD 1 of the first cycle we can start)

How have things been going? Booooooooring, just wanna start

Any R/R/CS? My clients are sometimes too dumb for words, but nothing TTC/TTA related

GTKY: If you could go on a road trip to anywhere tomorrow, where would you go? Road trip would probably take me on a road trip across America and see the sights and end in Napa/Sonoma

rainbowturtles · June 2016

Are you benched or TTA?
TTA

What brings you here?
MC 2/25, moving (this weekend!), DH needed a little time

How long do you think you'll be here?
Down to 2 1/2 more months! September FW should start around the 3rd

How have things been going?
I'm still really sick of waiting and trying to adjust my attitude because right now I just get sad every time DH PO

Any R/R/CS?
Waiting sucks. That, and my ovulation symptoms are ridiculous this cycle so I'm exhausted, cranky, and worst breast pain and if I didn't know where I was in my cycle I'd swear I was KU, so it's hard on my brain

GTKY: If you could go on a road trip to anywhere tomorrow, where would you go?
hmmm. Somewhere warm and relaxing with delicious cocktails lol

Edited: b/c autocorrect and remove bold type

katiegeminimoon · June 2016

Are you benched or TTA? TTA

What brings you here? MC 3/21 made me realize I should have a maternity leave plan. Waiting for short term disability benefit time frame to be available.

How long do you think you'll be here? CD1 should be tomorrow, so that begins my WTO window!

How have things been going? Slow. It took me a while after the MC to want to think about trying but once I made up my mind it has been sucky to have to wait,

Any R/R/CS? I'm just super nervous to try again. I basically knew I was going to most likely MC for about 5 weeks. It left me a bit traumatized.

GTKY: If you could go on a road trip to anywhere tomorrow, where would you go? I have been lucky enough to travel a lot so far in life so I have already been a lot of places. Road tripping, I would love to visit New Orleans!

ETA: words are hard

rissa06 · June 2016

___________________________________________________
Are you benched or TTA? Benched

What brings you here? Waiting to stop spitting and for my HCG to go back to normal

How long do you think you'll be here? Depends 1-3 cycles

How have things been going? Ok. Still getting our head wrapped around everything

Any R/R/CS? None

GTKY: If you could go on a road trip to anywhere tomorrow, where would you go? We are planning one to the Grand Canyon. the kids really wanted to go camping and haven't had an opportunity until now since we moved coasts.

safire3 · June 2016

__________________________________________________________________
Are you benched or TTA? TTA

What brings you here? Vacation in Zika endemic area

How long do you think you'll be here? 6 more weeks (technically)

How have things been going? Ok. Marking down the days on the calendar. I also noticed that my next FW falls during week 8 from our vacation. There's no way I'm waiting another month so basically we can start trying again for my next cycle.

Any R/R/CS? Nope. Just started temping again today

GTKY: If you could go on a road trip to anywhere tomorrow, where would you go? I was just talking to DH about a possible mini vacation to the keys. We live in Florida so it's just about a 4-5 hour drive from here

lyndam1 · June 2016

Are you benched or TTA? Benched.

What brings you here? Miscarriage in May.

How long do you think you'll be here? Hopefully just until November!

How have things been going? Meh, alright. I had a hard day on Thursday. My beta was down to 13, and the doctor's office was like, "great news!" I know it is ultimately good, but I just became really sad. Other than that, it's been ok.

Any R/R/CS? Not right now.

GTKY: If you could go on a road trip to anywhere tomorrow, where would you go? I grew up in Southern California, but I think I would love to drive up PCH along the California coastline!

AliciaGoose · June 2016

Hugs to everyone who needs them today!

Are you benched or TTA? Benched

What brings you here? Miscarriage 5/24

How long do you think you'll be here? Our doctor suggested waiting two cycles. So two cycles it is. In the middle of cycle one now.

How have things been going? Not well. I'm still having unpredictable sad moments. I cried my way to work this morning and had to excuse myself from a department meeting this afternoon before they gave a gift to a colleague whose wife had a baby two weeks ago.

Any R/R/CS? I'm tired of complaining so I'm going to say no even though I have a million things I want to complain about!

GTKY: If you could go on a road trip to anywhere tomorrow, where would you go?
California! Though I don't know where exactly. There are a few places I would like to visit.

mollsagni · June 2016

Are you benched or TTA? TTA ... not for much longer!

What brings you here? Learning, community, and gifs.

How long do you think you'll be here? We plan to start TTC in late summer/early fall.

How have things been going? I have some school-related reasons to wait, but am finding the wait unbearable. I keep thinking about how easy it would be to say screw the "perfect timing" and just start trying. I am just so ready to at least START this process as I have never TTC'd before.

Any R/R/CS? Rant: I am so sick of people asking me when I'm going to start a family. I have a hard enough time not talking constantly about all of the ins and outs of how ready I am without people acting like I need to hurry up and get my head out of the clouds. My head is on straight and I know what I want! I'm just trying to be responsible as best I can (ahhhh).

GTKY: If you could go on a road trip to anywhere tomorrow, where would you go? To the midwest to visit friends.

izza2 · June 2016

@rainbowturtles - Good luck on the moving front! I hate moving with a passion. Are you moving it all yourself, or did you hire a service to do the work for you? If we ever move again I'd hire a service if I can, haha. I'm sorry for your loss - and I'm sorry that your DH isn't handling it well to start TTC again. Hopefully he's close to healing from the loss and you can get back to TTC soon.
@lyndam1 - I'm sorry to hear about the bad day, and I'm sorry for your loss.

@AliciaGoose - I'm so sorry for your loss! I've never experienced one, so I can't give advice on getting through it, but I can suggest taking those "complaining moments" or negative moments that you find yourself in, and trying to come up with 2-3 things that are still positive in your life. Battling with depression, I have a lot of moments where I feel like the whole world is negative, and I had this suggested to me and it helps.

Are you benched or TTA?
TTA

What brings you here?
College

How long do you think you'll be here?
If I get accepted to my prospective transfer school - it will be 14 months from now, versus the 19 months previously agreed upon.

How have things been going?
Overall, okay. I've had a few bad days where I want to go back to TTC or at least start NTNP and just seeing what happens. DH and I had a long conversation this weekend about everything and it rested my mind to hear that he really does want to TTC right now, but is just trying to be more responsible with our timing. Until then, he'd never really mentioned that he wanted to start TTC again as much as I do. It's nice knowing I'm not alone in this.

Any R/R/CS?
I just can't handle seeing parents with their kids, when they're really treating them poorly, or just plain not parenting them. Between our visit to H's friend's house this weekend, and DS's baseball games over the past weeks, it just irks me to see people who obviously don't want anything to do with their kids, or who treat their kids like the plague. I understand needing a break from your kids once in a while, but it shouldn't seem like you're fed up with them every time I see you...

GTKY: If you could go on a road trip to anywhere tomorrow, where would you go?
We're leaving this weekend to go to Arkansas, and if that weren't the case, I'd say there. But, otherwise - I would love to take a trip to Alaska!

rainbowturtles · June 2016

@izza2 thank you so much! I'm doing most of the packing best I can, but I do have some pain/fatigue issues so DH and his brother will be doing all of the actual moving of things into and out of the moving truck we're renting. I truly wish we could afford someone to even do the packing part lol I haven't been feeing well the past few days and all the bending over was making me dizzy and pained yesterday

But I'll get through it!

And sorry, I should be more clear. The time DH needs is to wrap his head around trying for a baby. The pregnancy ending in mc was not planned and although he was excited and knows he does want a baby with me, he's still being scared. He's 39 tho (and I'm 34) so I basically told him he gets six more months to be scared because if you're not ready at 39 then when will you be? lol And I feared he could easily put it off forever whereas I don't have that luxury and have had a previous mc ten years ago (before him) so I'm really worried this might not be an easy or fast process....so I thought putting a deadline on it would help me mentally to know we'd be moving forward and to help him work through some fears. It's frustrating because I know he wants it and will be super excited and such a good dad and I want this more than anything! I just O'd so I'm telling myself "just two more O's" lol

I'm glad you and your DH are on the same page! And I hear you about seeing parents who don't treat their kids well or want anything to do with them. Sadly, my brother is for the most part one of those people and it makes me furious

rissa06 · June 2016

lyndam1 said:

Are you benched or TTA? Benched.

What brings you here? Miscarriage in May.

How long do you think you'll be here? Hopefully just until November!

How have things been going? Meh, alright. I had a hard day on Thursday. My beta was down to 13, and the doctor's office was like, "great news!" I know it is ultimately good, but I just became really sad. Other than that, it's been ok.

Any R/R/CS? Not right now.

GTKY: If you could go on a road trip to anywhere tomorrow, where would you go? I grew up in Southern California, but I think I would love to drive up PCH along the California coastline!

We live in Southern California now. Driving up the PCH sounds so awesome. It is on my
bucket list.

lyndam1 · June 2016

@rissa06 I know, right? One day I'll rent a convertible and do it!!!

AliciaGoose · June 2016

@izza2 Thank you for the suggestion. I think it's important to be able to recognize that while one giant thing that happened sucks, the rest of my life is still pretty awesome. It's easy to lose sight of that. FX for you application into the shorter program! And I'm glad you were able to talk to your DH and realize you're not alone in your feelings.

izza2 · June 2016

@rainbowturtles - Ahh. Is there anything in particular that he's mentioned is holding him back or worrying him? I know most of the time it's usually finances or something like that, but I know in some cases the other half is just straight up terrified they'll be a bad parent and that's why they're scared to even try for a child. Hopefully he's able to overcome his worries and get on board with you, though!

NYTino24 · June 2016

Are you benched or TTA? benched

What brings you here? honeymoon to places on Zika watchlist

How long do you think you'll be here? a few more months

How have things been going? Let's see how my annual appointment goes next week now that I'm armed with some charting data!

Any R/R/CS? My hormones seem to be all over the place. I am breaking out and FI keeps telling me I'm moody. Maybe it's because I'm trying to lose weight and I'm hungry!! Also, the kids at school are killing me! 5 more days after today...

GTKY: If you could go on a road trip to anywhere tomorrow, where would you go? Italy. That was my honeymoon choice and FI wanted to "relax" so he picked the Caribbean. I would also take Greece! Two friends are there now on their honeymoons and I am drooling over pictures. Only 40 more days till we leave!

eggplantface · June 2016

Are you benched or TTA? TTA

What brings you here? Fibroid removal surgery

How long do you think you'll be here? A few more weeks

How have things been going? Great up until last weekend, when my mother's annoying "so...what's new with you?" questions started again (that's her code phrase for "pregnant yet?"). She even knows that July is the earliest we can start TTC again. Can't I have these next few weeks to be left alone about it? I don't need the pressure.

Any R/R/CS? Rave: I was in a training class away from work the past two days and it was glorious. I loved the class and loved not being at my office even more. Rant: I'm back in my office today. Rave: I get to be away again tomorrow for a conference!

GTKY: If you could go on a road trip to anywhere tomorrow, where would you go? I'm jealous of all the European-living bumpies who can drive to other countries! I'd go somewhere in the country, where it's quiet and ideally there's wine. I hear the Finger Lakes are nice and full of vineyards! Sap alert: I'd go anywhere as long as H was with me, he's a really fun traveling companion.

kiwi2628 · June 2016

@eggplantfaceThe finger lakes are really fun! I went to college there and so many wineries. My H and I with some friends are actually going there in August for some hiking and wine for the H's birthday.

meganh2016 · June 2016

Are you benched or TTA? Benched

What brings you here? ectopic loss, surgical removal on 4/30

How long do you think you'll be here? For the next 5 weeks and 2 days, not that I'm counting

How have things been going? Things have been going alright! I took a little break from the bump, still read and love titted when I could, but tried to back off a bit and I think that was healthy for me. I can't wait til we TTC, but I'm feeling a little emotionally removed from the whole thing lately. I don't know if this is a way of my psyche trying to heal from the ectopic experience or what, but either way I'm sort of relieved to feel a bit lower key these days.

Any R/R/CS? First, a rant! I am pretty sure I'll be getting my first post-loss AF in the next two or three days and HOLY CRAP am I moody as all get out. I feel so bad for my husband. But not bad enough to reign in my irritability ha. Goal for Wednesday evening: no snapping! Rave - I got a totally unexpected raise on Monday!!! YES!

GTKY: If you could go on a road trip to anywhere tomorrow, where would you go? Oh this is a good one! I second/third driving the PCH (I'm also in SoCal and have never done it), but I also would love to do another southern states road trip, or maybe to the Tetons or something. My H and I have driven across the country together a few times for moving / school / etc., and it has always been such an incredibly cool experience. I love road tripping!

stardust317 · June 2016

________________
Are you benched or TTA? TTA

What brings you here? We're looking at buying a house, so finances. We already have 2 kids in daycare so I definitely can't afford a 3rd with a shiny new mortgage.

How long do you think you'll be here? June 2017

How have things been going?

I had my IUD removed in March because I thought we were ready and then we found a house. Remembering condoms has been hard...

Any R/R/CS? Started my period at a wedding this weekend, so that was super fun!

GTKY: If you could go on a road trip to anywhere tomorrow, where would you go?
I really want to go to Napa right now or the Bourbon Trail in Kentucky.

rainbowturtles · June 2016

izza2 said:

@rainbowturtles - Ahh. Is there anything in particular that he's mentioned is holding him back or worrying him? I know most of the time it's usually finances or something like that, but I know in some cases the other half is just straight up terrified they'll be a bad parent and that's why they're scared to even try for a child. Hopefully he's able to overcome his worries and get on board with you, though!

@izza2 Yes, it's mostly finances and "what ifs" and how it "changes everything". The last good discussion we had I told him its normal to be scared and would be weird if he wasn't but that I know we can do this. I've also said before that I'd hate for us to miss out on something amazing just because he's scared. I think he's getting there, tho. Some of his coworkers said they think we'll be great parents, which I think helped; he seemed happy about that. And last night we went out for dinner and a movie but didn't get to see the movie. On the way home he stopped for snacks and I asked "are you putting me in a stew or something? Why are you trying to fatten me up?!" lol And he paused and said "I want healthy children" and laughed

It really made me happy

edited to remove extra word

jessicark99 · June 2016

Are you benched or TTA? TTA

What brings you here? Went to visit family in Guadalajara this weekend. It was so much fun! It's absolutely beautiful there.....at least where we were staying and visiting. Up in the mountains and a newer area.

How long do you think you'll be here? The obligatory 6 weeks...yuck.

How have things been going? Eh, ok, but man I am really missing sex with no protection.

Any R/R/CS? So I knew that this past weekend would be a good time to get sexy, but then FF was showing that it's also my FW....grrrrrrr. So yeah, pretty pissed about that. lol. eh well. what can you do....

GTKY: If you could go on a road trip to anywhere tomorrow, where would you go? I think I'd love to drive to Yellowstone Park. I've always wanted to go and now would be a good time I think.

mtmama2 · June 2016

@jessicark99 I'm glad you had a great trip! I'm curious where you heard that the waiting period was only 6 weeks? I'm just wondering because the CDC website and my OB both said the minimum waiting period was 8 weeks after traveling to an area with active Zika virus transmission.

P.S. Yellowstone is amazing! You should definitely go!

jessicark99 · June 2016

@SienaC Oh man....it was 6 weeks before we left....crap....eh well. 8 weeks is only a couple weeks longer. I'm still having a hard time even convincing DH that we have to wait. He'll be so thrilled....lol

mtmama2 · June 2016

@jessicark99 ugh I know it seems like forever to me....especially since the virus only stays in your blood for like 10 days! DH is convinced that neither of us got the virus and keeps trying to convince me that we don't have to wait any longer....but, I just couldn't live with myself if we got pregnant and something was wrong with the baby because we couldn't suck it up for the whole 8 weeks.

jessicark99 · June 2016

@SienaC yup, I hear ya'. DH is the exact same....I think because they don't read and research everything to quite the same extent as we do. I literally just had to pull up pictures of the babies that are born with defects to show DH so he can understand that it's not just something I'm pulling out of my A$$.
It didn't make it any better that his friends in Guadalajara told him that the cases that they had could not be connected with Zika, or some such crap.....I was like whatever!!!!! Go read the articles from the CDC. We're not taking any chances.

Benched/TTA Check-In (6/13)

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