Ok to tell at a funeral?

EH112212 · June 2016

One of my aunts passed away this weekend, and the funeral will be in the next week or so. I don't see this side of my family very often, this might actually be the only time I see most of them for the duration of the pregnant. I will be 10-11 weeks. Thoughts on telling people at the funeral. It would feel weird to not say anything, and then call people/announce on FB a week or two later.

karaelaine1991 · June 2016

I personally don't know that it's something I would feel comfortable doing. Then again, it might lift people's spirits. I'd say you know your family and how they're likely to react; some might welcome such happy news to brighten a devastating situation while others might see it as lacking tact. I do think that if you decide to do it, you're going to really have to be mindful of how you go about it. Good luck, whatever you decide, and I'm so sorry for your loss!

sarahmsoda · June 2016

My husband's family had a funeral when we were 9 weeks and his grandma and grandpa along with his parents had pretty much told everyone for us (which we didn't know). We got tons of congratulations and it seemed like people were happy to have a positive distraction for a bit! I think it's fine as long as your comfortable with it.

ThePax89 · June 2016

If there are other funeral related festivities, I'd wait for that.

KarliQ88 · June 2016

Yea um...probably not the best time. I would wait even if it means not doing it in person.

katesmama0706 · June 2016

I mean I wouldn't like stand up an announce during the funeral proceedings or make a huge announcement at any funeral related activities but if you feel like you have to tell family maybe make a few quiet and private announcements to anyone you feel like might be upset if you didn't say anything.

curlysue22 · June 2016

Here's my experience. My DH's grandma passed away on Xmas Eve (years ago). We had just told my family on Xmas Eve with the intention of telling my ILs the next day on Xmas. We didn't want my family to know too long before DH's out of fairness. We went up to the ILs for the funeral the next week. We were only there for two days and would not see them again for months, so we told just MIL and FIL in the privacy of home on the evening after the viewing. We were expecting hugs but FIL just sat down and cried because he wished we had told grandma before she passed. So it was awkward to say the least. Perhaps we should have done it differently, but we wanted to tell them in person - it's their first grandchild and we wouldn't see them again for months.

hey&june · June 2016

I think it would be nice to tell people in person rather than over the phone, but I don't think a funeral is an appropriate place to be announcing exciting news. I think the focus on the day of the funeral should be the aunt that passed away. Telling people you are pregnant starts a lot of fun, exciting conversation and loud, joyful responses in my own family. I can't imagine doing that in a place that should be more serious and somber. It just seems like not the place for that to me. I would rather tell family over FaceTime or Skype than at a funeral.

mommywesley · June 2016

I think you know your family best. My DH family would not handle that well. My family would totally be fine, we do not make the kids be quiet at funerals and we are all naturally loud.

EH112212 · June 2016

Thanks for all the insight. If it was my mom's side, I would not hesitate to tell them, we have a super tight family.
I have never been as close with my dad's side. I only see some of them twice a year, and most of them I only see once a year. I will probably go back and forth until the last minute.

Want a personalized experience?

Ok to tell at a funeral?

Re: Ok to tell at a funeral?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards