All the feels

Isthisthereallife · June 2016

The anxiety is just killing me. A little backstory - my husband and I bought a house back in March, and we instantly started remodeling. This, obviously, is taking a lot longer than expected. So we temporarily moved in with my mom until our house was done. We had the option to try an IUI this past cycle, however, my husband put his foot down and said not while we're living with my mom. He said the stress and hormones would be too much for all of us in that little house.

So now, I'm waiting. I'd like to say patiently...but let's be realistic. I'm pretty sure time is going backwards. I can't imagine what it will feel like during the TWW. I better take up a hobby or I'll go crazy. Is anyone else like that, even before taking any hormones? I'm an emotional wreck as it is, I'm having a hard time imagining getting WORSE than this.

Meanwhile - this morning while talking to my mom, we were discussing how expensive remodel is. All she said was, "and you want to try and get pregnant next month". And that was it. I started balling, there was no consoling me. I'm sure she wasn't trying to deter me from it, but let's face it. These procedures, the meds, it's not cheap. But hearing it outloud, it got to me. It seems like every little things makes me so darn emotional. Especially when it comes to talking about wanting a BFP.

This board as become my go to. Coming here, reading that I'm not alone. It makes me feel, more complete. Like I finally have an accepting place to turn. Thank you all providing that.

TRIGGER WARNING

I read a story the other day. I'm sure many of you have seen it. A man posted his infertility journey on fb. It was heart wrenching, and beautiful all at the same time. I swear, I cried for hours. I'd read it, cry, take a break, and read it again. It sounds like the story that so many of you beautiful, strong, wonderful ladies have to share. For those of you interested, check it out. It's long, but so wroth. But it WILL make you cry, so proceed with caution. https://www.facebook.com/majesky/posts/10154178495389210

lady_grey · June 2016

OH man! Sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now, I totally hear you. Hang in there!! Try to stay positive. I read that story a couple weeks back someone else posted it - validates so many of the things we go through. Very bittersweet. Cry when you need to cry... laugh when you need to laugh. And remember to take care of yourself!!!

wifeinraleigh28 · June 2016

Hey there! I absolutely feel you on the constant waiting. We also had reasons for waiting before even starting TTC, then there was the waiting to see if it would happen naturally, then there was the waiting to get started on treatments, then the waiting in between the treatments, then waiting for IVF.... it's all such a long, emotional process and there's no way around all the waiting. I keep trying to remind myself that it will be so worth it in the end!

You mentioned finding a hobby, and quite honestly I think this has helped me handle all the waiting! I got back into knitting and I've been knitting like crazy. Trying different patterns and playing around with different fabrics, it's been very relaxing and distracting.

Hang in there! Home renovations can certainly be stressful!

Isthisthereallife · June 2016

@wifeinraleigh28
Thank you!! Wishing you and your hubby the best of luck!

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