December 2015 Moms

Bad Husbands.

@groovylocks I am wondering how it's going with that difficult husband of yours?

& there were a few other ladies a while back talking about slacking, rude and difficult husbands. Now that I'm struggling with mine I'm wondering how everyone else is doing?

Re: Bad Husbands.

  • @groovylocks was taking a break from the Facebook group for a bit, I'm not sure if that meant here too or not. But if she doesn't respond, that's probably why.
  • Loading the player...
  • @groovylocks was taking a break from the Facebook group for a bit, I'm not sure if that meant here too or not. But if she doesn't respond, that's probably why.
    Not to try to speak on her behalf, but their situation is very fragile to say the least. She will come back and talk if/when she is ready. Keep her and sweet Olive in your thoughts. 
  • I hate to say I told you so buttttt...lol
    itll get better. In time. Then it will get worse again then better then worse....
  • It's hard on a marriage for sure. Im
    not surprised at how many couples split up in the first year of first baby. I feel like it's so tense and when we are sleep deprived we are so unhappy.
  • blended10 said:
    I hate to say I told you so buttttt...lol
    itll get better. In time. Then it will get worse again then better then worse....
    We're in the happy phase again..... Don't tell me I'm gonna want to kill him again!! I just got to liking him again  :D
  • Yes it has been a rough road for sure
  • DH and I get snippy with eachother, but he was stepped up again after slumping with LO's care. He was super good for the first few weeks, definitely slacked the next couple, and has sky rocketed again. He gets up in the morning to feed baby, even though he works til midnight. He finally accepts that taking care of Carlos is more than a full time job, and giving me an hour extra sleep in the morning means the world.

    Of course, we have our arguments, but we resolve them quickly. :) 
  • My husband has been my rock throughout our pregnancy but lately as we're nearing the 7 month mark, he's becoming increasingly withdrawn, a bit moody, distracted and maybe a bit immature.t's our first baby, and we've been married less than a year. He also has been golfing a lot and has driven home a few times after a few drinks. I wouldn't say he has a drinking problem, but he has a problem when he drinks liquor - he gets super annoying and verbally confrontational, and that happened a few weeks ago after he spent the day golfing. I'm concerned because we're the best of friends and for the most part, he has been very supportive and has done everything - he has taken me to appointments, feeds our cats/changes their boxes, makes dinner, cleans the house, drives me to work, got us a house when I was so emotionally fragile I couldn't take it anymore. I think he's excited about the baby, but it's also something he initially didn't want to happen so soon in our marriage. I feel like I took something away from him. Given, we're 30 and 35, respectively, but I feel like a.) he might be resentful of me, or b.) that he might be acting out as he will be a dad in a little over two months. 

    Has anyone ever had a situation like this? I think it will pass, but it concerns me that he is acting kind of childish when I think he's pretty afraid of fatherhood (he told me so). 
  • My husband has been my rock throughout our pregnancy but lately as we're nearing the 7 month mark, he's becoming increasingly withdrawn, a bit moody, distracted and maybe a bit immature.t's our first baby, and we've been married less than a year. He also has been golfing a lot and has driven home a few times after a few drinks. I wouldn't say he has a drinking problem, but he has a problem when he drinks liquor - he gets super annoying and verbally confrontational, and that happened a few weeks ago after he spent the day golfing. I'm concerned because we're the best of friends and for the most part, he has been very supportive and has done everything - he has taken me to appointments, feeds our cats/changes their boxes, makes dinner, cleans the house, drives me to work, got us a house when I was so emotionally fragile I couldn't take it anymore. I think he's excited about the baby, but it's also something he initially didn't want to happen so soon in our marriage. I feel like I took something away from him. Given, we're 30 and 35, respectively, but I feel like a.) he might be resentful of me, or b.) that he might be acting out as he will be a dad in a little over two months. 

    Has anyone ever had a situation like this? I think it will pass, but it concerns me that he is acting kind of childish when I think he's pretty afraid of fatherhood (he told me so). 
    You said he is verbally confrontational. How so? Elaborate on that. 
  • My DH and I are iffy. 

    I won't rehash everything, but essentially, he told me that he loved me but wasn't attracted to me. We agreed to try counseling - we went twice, but it just wasn't a good fit. I think we need to go separately, and THEN together, but I only have 3 free sessions left. The first time was just answering questions, and the second time, more questions and the counselor spending half the time on my DH's ADHD and anxiety issues, and completely ignoring my frustrations about not having my time to myself, about having to handle 95% of the kid and house related stuff, and having my confidence and self-worth completely decimated.

    Anyway, we had a HUGE blow up a few weeks ago - my DH failed his first attempt at a licensing exam, and that plus all of these other frustrations made things blow up, and he said some mean things (which were actually more about him than me) and said wanted to get a divorce - not because he didn't love me, but because he said he felt like things would be better for everyone if he wasn't around, because he's on a self destructive path - a crappy husband, subpar dad, spends all of our money on stupid stuff, doesn't have a job (he does now), and just (emotionally) hurts me all of the time, plus our intimacy issues. We stepped back from that ledge, (and he passed his exam on the next attempt), and things are better sometimes, but not really.

    My mom was there when this happened, which didn't really help, except that she was there to get my DD off the bus and take her on a walk. But of course she had her two cents. After I told her the abridge version of what happened and that we were going to try to work on things, she says - "Ok, but usually when a man says he wants a divorce because 'you deserve better,' and he 'still loves you but..' it usually means that they have already made up their mind to leave but don't want to be the bad guy." and my favorite "Men don't usually leave unless they have someone else to go to. A man will stay in an unhappy marriage for years, but they won't leave until they meet someone else."

    Thanks, Mom.

    So even though we are working on things, his seemingly unwillingness to try to put his family before his social life and my mom's words of encouragement have left me just feeling dread 75% of the time. 
  • Ugh mine is struggling! Our baby has been a great sleeper from the start but of course there are nights she wakes up and who is the one to get up with her?! Me! He's probably only done it maybe twice!! I'm so frustrated. I feel like I'm the only parent! Sure I understand he is the only one with a job and he just bought us a nice house while I get to be a SAHM but I didn't ask to be a SAHM. Sometimes I just need a break!! But I never ask him for one because I feel guilty that I'm not providing any income to our family. Ugh! Sorry for the rant! It's 4am and my baby has been awake for a hour! Hopefully she'll pass out soon!
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"