Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

How is everyone doing? Check in June 6

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Re: How is everyone doing? Check in June 6

  • @kmwm. I am really sorry for your loss!

    this week has been tough and although I am not crying, I don't really want to leave my room these days. Thank u so much to my kids for forcing me to do something.

    we live in a fairly warm climate
    in southern Cali.  I live
    near the desert and it can get over 100 most days over the summer.  Air conditioner and pools are our best friend.
  • AliciaGooseAliciaGoose member
    edited June 2016
    I'm super late this week, but I feel like I need to vent a bit this mornig.

    At this point it's been 3 weeks since my first signs of miscarriage, and about 2.5 since we were sure of what was happening. I'm at the point now where I feel fine more often than not, which I'm thankful for. My 'bad times' tend to come in the morning and at work for some reason. Thankfully I have a coworker who has honestly been the best person in the world. She checks in on me everyday and when I need to cry she gives me a hug and cries with me. 

    I think the worst part for me currently is that I feel like I'm in limbo. My doctor wants us to wait two full cycles before trying again, and that is honestly killing me. All I want is to move on, and I feel like until I can try again I am stuck in the past. Every time we have sex and use a condom I get instantly sad because I know why we have to use it.

    I'm on CD17 and have 0 signs of fertility. I took an HPT 3 days ago and it was negative, which was both the happiest and saddest thing in the world. Happiest because I feel like that is a good sign that my body will start this cylce up, and when I go for my blood test this week HCG will be <5. Saddest because it is supposed to super positive and I'm supposed to be 9 weeks pregnant right now.

    For those of you who asked about ultrasounds, I didn't get a paper copy but when I was in the room I took a picture of the screen. I am so thankful I did that. I go back to look at it sometimes, and it is sad, but it's important for me to remember that this actually happened, and that for a short while I was carrying this baby. 

    GTKY: I live in the northeast so we have hot humid summers. It's pretty gross. I go to the pool a lot. And the beach when I have the opportunity and someone to go with me! Otherwise it's air conditioning and reading or Netflix!
    **Formerly @aliciabhen**
    Me: 26 DH: 24
    Married: November 2015  <3
    TTC#1: January 2016
    BFP: 5/02/16 - MC: 5/27/16
    Computer Hope
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  • @AliciaGoose so sorry you're feeling in limbo. I'm medically cleared but waiting on DH and also feel like I can't move on until I can try again and am getting increasingly frustrated/sad every time we DTD and he PO :( 
    Some women don't O their first cycle after mc or it can take longer but I hope your cycles even out ASAP so you can start trying again when cleared by your doctor. So sorry you have to wait but hope it's not too long <3

  • @rainbowturtles Thank you for the response! I am already at a point where, if I do ovulate this cycle, it will be 'late', but I was expecting that. I'm just hoping to not have a tremendously long cycle, especially if I don't ovulate. 

    I am sorry to hear that you have to wait now too, regardless of the reason. It's especially sad that for both of us having sex without being able to TTC brings on these negative feelings. I wish there was a way I could kind of reprogram how I think. But unfortunately that's not possible right now. I hope that your DH is able to heal and you can start TTC again as well  <3
    **Formerly @aliciabhen**
    Me: 26 DH: 24
    Married: November 2015  <3
    TTC#1: January 2016
    BFP: 5/02/16 - MC: 5/27/16
    Computer Hope
  • @new_ivf Temping resource? Most of us track on Fertility Friend app, and use the Mabis basal body temperature thermometer. We also purchase Wondfo opk/hcg tests in bulk for like 25 dollars on Amazon. Comes with about 50 opks/20 hcgs depending on the packaging.

    @AliciaGoose /hugs!!!

    Me: 27 years old            DH: 27 years old
    Type 1 Diabetes since 2001, MTHFR hetero A1298T
    Dogs: Raider 4 yrs, Dex 4 yrs
    Married in July 2014
    TTC #1 since late Feb 2016
    BFP #1 3/29/16     MMC: 5/5/16
    BFP #2 7/6/16    SCH, D&C 8/4/16
    BFP #3 12/26/16     EDD: 9/6/17
    My Chart / My Diabetes/Pregnancy Blog
    My Type 1/TTC/Pregnancy Podcast: 
    Juicebox Podcast Episode 118
    A1Cs:
    1/12/16 6.7%
    5/25/16 6.0%
    11/2/16 6.1%
    3/22/16 5.8%
    4/27/17 5.4%
    6/13/17 5.3%
               
    "Sugar Fancy Tutu"
  • mjolkmjolk member
    Now 9 weeks pregnant. Went in for my blood test today. I thought they mentioned doing an ultrasound too, but they didn't. So I suppose if tomorrow my levels are still going up I will have to go back in for that... don't they realize it is hard for most people to have so many visits during work hours? And I know it is just part of it but going to the office and seeing bubbly smiley pregnant women or little babies just makes me sad. And a bit bitter. I survived the weekend visiting relatives and I am grateful for that.

    @AliciaGoose I'm so sorry you still feel in limbo. I wonder if there is an actual reason for the wait. It seems like every doctor has a different opinion on waiting to TTC and so it makes me wonder if it is even necessary after risk of infection is gone. Then again, when I got off of my implant birth control I was told to wait about three cycles and didn't (happened after one) because the lady then said "Well, no big deal if you get pregnant before that -- it happens all the time!" and maybe that is why I didn't develop a baby?
    -----
    TW: Loss
    EDD: 1/14/2017 : Blighted Ovum : D&C @ 10w6d


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