Doula experiences, anyone?

sonomama14 · June 2016

I just met with a doula yesterday, who was an acquantaince of mine, and I loved her. She loves the hospital i'm delivering at, and all of their OB's and MW's. She is credentialed and seemed really knowledgable on the whole experience, even post partum and BFing. I still can't make up my mind if it's worth the money though! My first baby was a last minute early induction due to PIH... it was a 3 day long process that i totally winged and felt awful afterwards. We are hoping to avoid that this time, but if I do have to go the induction route again, I'm wondering if having a doula would even benefit me at that point or not? She assured me she would help guide me no matter what happens, I'm just stingy with money right now and i'm not sure! I would love to hear your experiences and any pros & cons! Thank you!

slartybartfast · June 2016

I'm in the exact same spot.
Everyone I talk to (everyone at the place I'm delivering, friends that have had a doula) all say - GET A DOULA. And I've found one I think is good. But I'm still going back and forth on whether or not the cost is worth it. It'd be $700.

sonomama14 · June 2016

@slartybartfast mine said it would be $700 as well! I can totally see her being a life saver in certain circumstances, but because I don't know how this birth will play out vs my last one, I can't decide if it will be worth that money or not. I really wish DH could have met her last night, cause if he was totally on board or against it it might help my decision making more haha.

Morgan400 · June 2016

I had one for my 1st delivery and will for this one as well. It was worth it for me because it kept me calm and less stressed during pregnancy just knowing that I would have the doula there. You can't plan for who exactly will be your nurses or your OB (because most rotate). I mean my husband was great support. But he had never seen an labor/birth, my Douala had been to 100s and I took a lot of comfort in having her there.

brittnic86 · June 2016

I'm a FTM, but I just found out that the hospital I'm delivering at, which is also who my health insurance is through, actually offers doula services free of charge! Super excited about that, because I was interested in a doula, but buying two of everything is already going to be expensive. Not to mention the cost of delivering two babies, they actually charge you for the second baby...even in ultrasounds. But anyway, look into your hospital and insurance! You never know

mattanda2011 · June 2016

I didn't have a doula with my first and then looked into it for my second, and ultimately didn't end up doing it, which I am actually grateful that we did not, because I was in labor for a total of 3 hours, and we made it to the hospital in time for me to put on a gown and push him out. I don't even think my doula would have been there by the time we had the baby.

BUT - if you have a history of longer labors and the possibility for an induction that seems like a great scenario to have the doula for in my opinion. If I knew I tended towards longer labor, or induction possibilities, I would probably go ahead and have one. I think the longer you are there and in labor the more useful someone else who is an outside help is going to be

Toller · June 2016

I had a doula with DD (paid $800). Was worth every penny- esp as a FTM! Yes- husbands are "helpful" but they know likely less than we do about the process!! It was nice to have someone in my corner, who knew my wishes and knew how the birthing process worked. I wanted a drug-free labor, and knew it was important to set myself up for success.

My labor went EXTREMELY fast and my doula took care of all the details that we forgot: Calling the hospital ahead of time, helping me with labor (having a familiar face in the hospital was so so helpful for me rather than relying on strangers), she also parked our car so my husband could stay with me, let our dog out, had things set up at home for us when we got there, helped with breastfeeding, did 2 after hospital visits to us, etc.

Will be doing it again in a heartbeat!!

slartybartfast · June 2016

My husband actually knew a TON and was prepared to help in every twist and turn.

The thing I hadn't considered is... husbands are incredibly emotionally invested in everything and seeing me in labor was agony for him (because my labor was very long and very painful). That part sort of negated all the knowledge he had. I think we will end up doing it - more for him than for me. I just feel like maybe this time my labor will be short and I'll have wasted $700 bucks.
I also just learned that an anterior placenta can make back labor more likely (I had both last time). This time I have a posterior placenta so I'm so hopeful things are going to be less nightmarish.

revelatory7 · June 2016

I had a doula before and loved her as well! Definitely hoping to have her for this baby. Although dang, her costs increased (a year ago she charged about $700, now it's $1000

jealous of all you ladies...)

When I was in labor, even though both the doula and my husband were holding my hands, I kept my concentration squarely on the doula. In that moment, I really needed someone who had been through birth and knew what it was like. I don't think I could have gotten as far in my labor without her. She also had some additional services like postpartum doula support and placenta encapsulation... both were great, though honestly it's a bit pricey now to get the services I had gotten a year ago (word must have gotten out that she's great).

Do check the doula's contract -- it sounds like after 14 hours of labor, my doula will start charging on an hourly rate. So if labor is going to be long, it might be beyond the initial quoted price.

With all that said, I'll hire her again this time around, except I don't think I'll get the extra postpartum services.

Toller · June 2016

slartybartfast said:

My husband actually knew a TON and was prepared to help in every twist and turn.

The thing I hadn't considered is... husbands are incredibly emotionally invested in everything and seeing me in labor was agony for him (because my labor was very long and very painful). That part sort of negated all the knowledge he had.

Yes- you said what I was trying to! My husband took 12 weeks of classes with me and was fairly prepared... but they are definitely coming at it as partners not necessarily as helpful tools!

Also would like to add in absence of a DH or if he can't be there (whatever your situation) I think that would only add to the value of a trusted doula.....

SchruteBucks · June 2016

I had a doula with my last two deliveries and will be with this one as well. I do natural childbirth, so it is a definite help!

mattanda2011 · June 2016

Not exactly doula related, but another thought is if you want anyone else in the room and some other ladies have mentioned this. But we had my mom in the room because I wanted her there. My husband was fine with it, but didnt really think we HAD to have her there. Well when my daughter was born a day before 37 weeks and required a check out by the premie doctor that was not able to be done on my belly my husband said he was so happy to have my mom there to be with me while I delivered the placenta and got stitched up so that he could be with our daughter and not feel like he was torn between the 2 of us.

I think if we didnt have family that we were close enough to (emotionally or location wise) I would also consider a doula for that reason too. Yes husband can do a certain amount while you are laboring, but then all the sudden there are 2 people to tend to for emotional support and that can be hard for dad to manage whose hand do I hold (moms or baby's)

brittnic86 · June 2016

@mattanda2011ugh my mother asked if she could be in the room, and I had said yes. Now I'm thinking I'll regret that. She's been so smothering lately!

zubenescamali · June 2016

I didn't have a doula for my first and I was totally unprepared. but I had a placental abruption during labor and not sure if a doula would have made much difference. I got a doula for my second because I wanted to have a successful VBAC and took Bradley classes. having a doula was worth every penny, even though I ultimately got an epidural because I couldn't take the continuous double-peaking contractions. but she helped my labor progress despite the epidural and provided much needed support for me and DH. her company also did placental encapsulation which was a bonus. this time around, I will probably use the same service, not sure if she is still with the company since it's been over 4 years but I will find out. especially knowing that the back labor is again a possibility. DH doesn't predict my needs well, and during labor I barely had 15 seconds to take a break in between contractions so I couldn't communicate them well. having a doula that could just give me what I needed without me asking for it was absolutely essential.
i cannot remember what i paid, somewhere in the $600-$1000 range after all services were tallied up, but definitely still worth it.

zubenescamali · June 2016

slartybartfast said:

My husband actually knew a TON and was prepared to help in every twist and turn.

The thing I hadn't considered is... husbands are incredibly emotionally invested in everything and seeing me in labor was agony for him (because my labor was very long and very painful). That part sort of negated all the knowledge he had. I think we will end up doing it - more for him than for me. I just feel like maybe this time my labor will be short and I'll have wasted $700 bucks.
I also just learned that an anterior placenta can make back labor more likely (I had both last time). This time I have a posterior placenta so I'm so hopeful things are going to be less nightmarish.

many doulas will not charge the full fee for a precipitous labor, they use a flat rate just for being on call and for what a couple hours of work might be. i know my contract had that clause, although i don't remember what her flat fee was.

DiFazette · June 2016

Didn't use a doula with DS (emergency c pre-term) and won't this time, because I'll have another scheduled c. I had no ideas doulas made so much. I don't know anything about it through. Are they independent/affiliated with a practice or hospital? I'm guessing insurance for any business that deals with pregnant women would be through the roof, but they aren't legally permitted to make any medical decisions, right? Off to research what Doulas do to make $800-$1k on a few days work!

maamawaabangi · June 2016

I had one hospital birth and it would have been nice in that environment to have one. If transferred my midwife goes with us and acts as a doula and birth assistant. But if I ever planned a hospital birth I'd for sure spring for a doula!

sonomama14 · June 2016

Thank you, girls! I appreciate your feedback, it really helped. I'm saying YES to the doula

this is most likely our last baby, and I want it to be the best experience that it can be, and DH really actually loved the idea once I explained to him more what she would be doing...so now I'm excited!

mattanda2011 · June 2016

@brittnic86 You have some time to think about it and consider, and obviously I don't know your relationship with your mom, but I would really consider someone else besides DH available for support, especially with twins. You are going to go from being the only patient in the room, to 3, thats a lot for DH. Maybe ask DH who he feels comfortable with as well to be his care taking team. I also found that setting clear expectations with my mom and talking to her about things that I didnt want to happen in the delivery room was really helpful. In the end she just felt honored to be there so she was willing to comply.

Now my MIL who was outside the door trying to look in at every moment - could have cared less about my wishes and I am still a little bitter about it. Thats why she gets the job of watching the kids while I go to the hospital so I don't have to deal with her crazy until I am ready!

slartybartfast · June 2016

We're going for it too. Dh just asked me about it again and I asked if he wanted to and he was very firm in his yes. Makes that easy!

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