Am I the only one who is so frustrated with the way society is shaping our children these days? Everyone is a winner! Wrong. Not even most kids are winners. Deal with it. Kids should be able to take a test more than once to pass! Wrong. If you cant put in the effort to pass the first time, too bad. Maybe that poor grade will push you to work harder next time. If not, so be it. Let's put "safe zones" in colleges so the 20 something with no coping skills has a place to go when his feelings are hurt! Wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. Why are we promoting this world where kids are never made to feel disappointment or take responsibility for their own short comings? It doesn't help them later in life. Now I'm reading about schools stripping students of class rank and not honoring valedictorian? Are we kidding? So because some kids don't care enough to try, we minimize a child's outstanding effort and achievement so we don't "hurt the lazy kids feelings"? I know this might be an unpopular opinion, but this P.C. crap is out of control. Kids have no thick skin anymore. Everything hurts their feelings because we as a society are allowing it.. promoting it. So while graduation gowns are no longer separate colors for boys and girls because "you don't know what gender a person identifies with!" And while every kid gets a participation trophy even though they rode the bench all year.. and while the student who fails every test the first time gets a second chance to bring up their grade... I'll be over here... teaching my kids that even though the world wants them to be spineless, self entitled, narcissistic train wrecks.. they're better than that.. life is not fair. Work your ass off for what you want, don't expect everything to be handed to you. You'll be great at some things and horrible at others. You'll have friends who love you and people who don't like you.. maybe for no real reason. And you'll survive. Life isn't about how much you can take.. it's about what you can give.
Sorry that's long. But I had to get it out. This sheltered world is getting on my last nerve.
WTF Wednesday for sure.. Are 12 yr old girls (stepchild) always so dramatic? FTM here and I'm having a girl.. I just never remember there being so much drama and so much attention seeking in such negative ways.
My puppy didn't greet me at the door after work today for the first time ever. She has a yeast infection and started new medicine yesterday so I'm sure that's why she is being a weirdo but I look forward to coming home to her every day. I'm forcing my cuddles on her but it's not the same.
WTF hormones! I've been really proud of how non-emotional I've been up until now. I've cried 5 times this week, thee of them on Monday alone. I don't like being a weepy mess!
re: class rank/valedictorian: I agree these are nice to have. On the other side, though, there are several high schools near where I live that are so super-competitive, kids are committing suicide (many by jumping in front of trains) because of the pressure. That's probably a different problem, but here's a different case for relaxing on those rankings a bit — instead of saying it's because of the underachievers, it might be to prevent too much overachieving.
@kmmnocal Is there such a thing as too much overachieving? I'm not sure working hard to try to achieve something is a bad thing, regardless if you win or not. Even working hard and failing teaches a valuable lesson.
@kmmnocal ... I would think if one school in particular is having an issue with kids committing suicide, that's an issue with the school.. although you hear about kids at MIT and such who are under pressure and kill themselves.. and that also talks to what kind of coping skills that person has. However, from the articles I'm reading on these schools that are taking away rank it doesn't mention that it's to "decrease stress or pressure." But did mention in different words that it's so as not to promote one child being better than another. I get how some children have unrealistic expectations put on them, but that's not what I was talking about, if that makes sense?
@mrsmaryk2016 .. I agree! Failure is sometimes the best lesson for kids these days. GET BACK UP! Brush yourself off and try again. Don't quit. It's okay to fail.. to not be the best. To come in 2nd or 3rd or even last as long as you try.
@kmmnocal Is there such a thing as too much overachieving? I'm not sure working hard to try to achieve something is a bad thing, regardless if you win or not. Even working hard and failing teaches a valuable lesson.
I mean, I'd argue there is such a thing when it leads to unsustainable pressure. It's not a trying-and-failing thing, it's a trying-for-a-4.5 GPA or whatever you can get now with AP credits and jumping in front of a train if you get a 4.1. Yeah, there's real pressure to compete in the real world and students must be prepared, but not at the sake of their literal sanity at age 16.
From what I understand there is one school that has this issue particularly badly, but I'm near Silicon Valley and the pressure to compete at every level is insanely high. It's becoming a regional problem, not some sort of elite private school problem. Anyway, this is probably far past the point of OP's original post, but just an alternate observation.
@kmmnocal Is there such a thing as too much overachieving? I'm not sure working hard to try to achieve something is a bad thing, regardless if you win or not. Even working hard and failing teaches a valuable lesson.
I mean, I'd argue there is such a thing when it leads to unsustainable pressure. It's not a trying-and-failing thing, it's a trying-for-a-4.5 GPA or whatever you can get now with AP credits and jumping in front of a train if you get a 4.1. Yeah, there's real pressure to compete in the real world and students must be prepared, but not at the sake of their literal sanity at age 16.
From what I understand there is one school that has this issue particularly badly, but I'm near Silicon Valley and the pressure to compete at every level is insanely high. It's becoming a regional problem, not some sort of elite private school problem. Anyway, this is probably far past the point of OP's original post, but just an alternate observation.
My high school had no class rank, no valedictorian, no homecoming, no prom queen for exactly this reason. It had nothing to do with everyone being a winner, it was about the unhealthy level of competition that it creates. My high school hasn't had any of these things in over 20 years because it breeds an unhealthy environment for kids. I come from a fairly well off town and every one in my high school was feeling the pressure about college and sports and everything else that teenagers deal with. I was in the top 5% of my high school class (they did give us ranges) and I loved not knowing exactly where I stood because it meant there was less competition with the other students. It didn't stop us from having the drive to work hard at all. There is already so much competition in high school for everything that I think easing that where they can is a good move for schools.
For the record, I am very against the "everyone wins" philosophy, but I also don't agree with adding needless additional competition to an already competitive environment.
This may fall under UO Thursday instead, and again probably falls outside of the original post, but it was my experience and I think most of my high school classmates would agree that it was a good thing.
Re: WTF Wednesday 6/8
Sorry that's long. But I had to get it out. This sheltered world is getting on my last nerve.
@mrsmaryk2016 .. I agree! Failure is sometimes the best lesson for kids these days. GET BACK UP! Brush yourself off and try again. Don't quit. It's okay to fail.. to not be the best. To come in 2nd or 3rd or even last as long as you try.
From what I understand there is one school that has this issue particularly badly, but I'm near Silicon Valley and the pressure to compete at every level is insanely high. It's becoming a regional problem, not some sort of elite private school problem. Anyway, this is probably far past the point of OP's original post, but just an alternate observation.
For the record, I am very against the "everyone wins" philosophy, but I also don't agree with adding needless additional competition to an already competitive environment.
This may fall under UO Thursday instead, and again probably falls outside of the original post, but it was my experience and I think most of my high school classmates would agree that it was a good thing.