Infidelity during pregnancy

Re: Infidelity during pregnancy

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  chrissychrissy45 member

  June 2016 edited June 2016

  Messaging you

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  sweetyjenj member

  June 2016

  Please know you are not at fault!!! Please seek out a therapist, look for a Marriage and Family Therapist, who can help you decide what you should do next. I'm a marriage and family therapist myself, and I've worked with couples through infidelity. You have many options, both of you do, and it's best to know what all of your options are and talk through them. MANY couples choose to work past the infidelity and go on to having stronger marriages, but it takes 2 to make that work, so he needs to also decide to stop the pattern he's created. If he's not able or willing, it is NOT your fault!!!!!
  

  Me: 30 |  DH: 33
  Married: 8/11/2007
  DD: Born 2/3/17
  BFP#2: 5/3, EDD 1/10/19
  

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  BumpasaurusRex member

  June 2016

  s _mac23 said:

  Hello,
  
  I am 13 weeks pregnant with my second child, first child for dad to be. I just discovered he has been cheating for a few months with random women from dating sites. I am scared and not quite sure what to do. He has admitted to it and says he has an issue. I feel at fault and am dying inside. This is supposed to be a very happy time in a relationship, and it's not. Has anyone been through this before? Do you have advice?

  First, this is not your fault.  You are not responsible for his behavior and his actions.  That is 100% on him and don't ever let him make you feel differently.
  
  Second, I would go to my doctor and get tested for STDs.  Not only has he put you at risk for diseases but also your unborn.  
  
  Third, you need to figure out if your relationship is worth working on.  Everyone feels differently, as everyone's relationship is different.  If you believe you both can make it through this, then you both need to be committed to therapy and counseling.
  
  Personally, I would not be able to work past infidelity and would leave the relationship.  But that's just me.

  
  
  
  Big Bro 7/14/13
  Little Bro 2/6/17
  
  

                                                                   

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  SnarkasaurusRex member

  June 2016 edited June 2016

  It is absolutely not your fault. He is a grown man and is accountable for his own actions. I agree with PPs that you need to get tested for STDs...my OB did this as standard procedure at my first appointment, but I don't know if that's the norm. It's better to be safe than sorry and make sure that you are in the clear.
  
  For me, cheating is a deal breaker. I've been cheated on before, and despite going to couples counseling and him pledging to be better, he didn't stop (and I almost married that prick). You need to do some soul searching and figure out if this is something that you are willing to work past. If it is, go to counseling, but I agree with PP that he needs to be COMMITTED to working on your relationship. If he can't commit to fixing the relationship, he's probably not going to commit to staying faithful, either. You both need to be all in for it to work.
  
  Stay strong and focus on your health and your baby. Surround yourself with good people.

  

  

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