About me:
/loss mentioned/
TTC#1 July 2014
dx: MFI (morphology)
IUI #1 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Sept. 2015 ~ BFN
IUI #2 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Halloween 2015 ~ BFN
IUI #3 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Thanksgiving 2015 ~ BFP!!
hb 146 bpm at 7w5d
1/28/16 ~ began to say goodbye to our beautiful baby at 11w
d&c, followed by cytotec
TTCAL April 2016
IUI #4 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Apr. 2016 ~ BFN
IUI #5 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ CP
IUI#6 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ BFN
Re: How is everyone doing? Check in June 6
@pce515 So sorry for your loss. It can take some time for some people to get back to normal cycles. Some women will ovulate the cycle after loss and some won't. I'd say having signs of fertility is a good sign, tho. Have you ever tried temping? I don't know if it would help you at all right now, but I'm finding it very reassuring even tho I'm not TTC til September. I know after a period of time if you still don't have your AF you can return to your doctor and they can help get it started for you. Maybe the other ladies can talk more to that point.
I'm doing okay, had a rough one yesterday. Some past traumas came to the surface and I just wanted to cry and cry
Also a little annoyed because I might have O'd really early. I've had two days of EWCM and two raised temps on the same days BUT I haven't been perfectly temping because I've had restless sleeps plus it's been a heat wave this weekend. Only time will tell. Again, DH isn't ready to TTC yet but I'm tracking my cycles to see if they're mostly "regular" and to give me peace of mind if an "oops" happens. There's some comfort in knowing I'm O'ing and when AF should arrive.
GTKY: It typically doesn't get super hot where we live.l, but this past weekend was a killer. 100 degrees both sat and Sunday. DH and I were supposed to go camping but it was forecast to be 105 there so we cancelled. DH hates the heat so if it starts to get too hot we just sit inside with the AC on. Sometimes I wish we had a pool, but it's not practical where we live.
Me: 37, DH: 36
Started TTC #1: 9/2015
Preliminary labs/testing @ 6 months: TSH, A1c, progesterone, prolactin, SA, HSG all normal
BFP: 5/19/2016, M/C: 5/29/2016
BFP: 6/22/2016 EDD 3//6/2017
@rainbowturtles sorry yesterday was rough. Cry as much as you need to. Hugs.
@PattersRN glad you are doing a bit better than last week. I had also already planned a vacation that coincided with the weeks right after my loss. Big bummer not to be able to go on our vacation, but it was also a relief that I had already basically cleared my plate at work. Hope you can take it a bit easier and go home early/take walks/etc. to make the transition back to work less harsh.
I am doing ok. Just had my college reunion and it was definitely bittersweet to think about how pregnant I would have been at this point and how I could have been so happy about it with all of those friends (we're all over, geographically). I have stopped thinking about that on a daily/weekly basis, but when these events come up that I had known about for a while, my mind goes there.
GTKY: We have hot & humid summers. I have a plastic cup w/reusable straw, and I am going to have to start making ice tea at home so I have something cold to sip on my way into work (I walk or bus). We got my dog one of those pressure-activated gel cooling mats, but so far she doesn't seem to like it, so DH has been enjoying lying on it
/loss mentioned/
TTC#1 July 2014
dx: MFI (morphology)
IUI #1 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Sept. 2015 ~ BFN
IUI #2 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Halloween 2015 ~ BFN
IUI #3 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Thanksgiving 2015 ~ BFP!!
hb 146 bpm at 7w5d
1/28/16 ~ began to say goodbye to our beautiful baby at 11w
d&c, followed by cytotec
TTCAL April 2016
IUI #4 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Apr. 2016 ~ BFN
IUI #5 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ CP
IUI#6 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ BFN
I live in Canada so our weather is fairly moderate (west coast but in the "valley") but this past weekend we had a heat wave, too! I don't think we quite broke 100F but it was HOT for what we're used to lol What sucked is that instead of going to the lake that our new place is super close to (or doing anything fun, really) we were installing our new kitchen in that heat! Well mostly DH, I was mostly useless as the heat was really affecting my blood pressure and I even ended up puking. I still couldn't help but think "imagine if I was still pregnant in this heat?" And then envisioning myself lying in a kiddie pool with a baby bump and at least feeling better about being useless because it would be for a better reason
I have a pug who doesn't do well in the heat either @BrightenMySky and I'm considering getting him one of those mats, too, but also worried he may not use it lol I just kept dousing him with water and kept him mostly inside (no A/C yet but had fans going)
I found that an electrolyte freezie/otter pop really perked me up later in the day!
BFF has been temping and started using FF to chart. It's nice to share and teach things about our amazing bodies and cycles. She came over and found my ultrasound and looked at it.. and I didn't cry. Almost, but didnt. That was a first.
I've been redoing Baby Names again.
GTKY: I live in Dallas, so hot! We love to go out on the lake and go swimming and cool off by driving the boat around. Also, good ol Texas AC is legit
Type 1 Diabetes since 2001, MTHFR hetero A1298T
Dogs: Raider 4 yrs, Dex 4 yrs
BFP #2 7/6/16 SCH, D&C 8/4/16
BFP #3 12/26/16 EDD: 9/6/17
My Chart / My Diabetes/Pregnancy Blog
My Type 1/TTC/Pregnancy Podcast:
Juicebox Podcast Episode 118
A1Cs:
1/12/16 6.7%
5/25/16 6.0%
11/2/16 6.1%
3/22/16 5.8%
4/27/17 5.4%
6/13/17 5.3%
"Sugar Fancy Tutu"
@rainbowturtles I'm sorry you had a hard day, and I also hope your heat wave broke!!
@PattersRN Glad you're feeling better than last week!
@Sugargirl 1019 Glad to hear you're looking forward at future steps, hopefully they're good ones!! Also, did I ever tell you, I love your bunnies? They always make me so happy!
As for me, I'm doing better both emotionally and physically - I even took the dog out for a walk (a short and slow one) but I did it! And I didn't feel exhausted afterward either! DH and I haven't had sex in about 2 months (I was being cautious when I start spotting, then we were told not to) and they other night I was feeling a little frisky. I just want to have sex again. That's all. Hopefully we'll get clearance soon.
GTKY: We're lucky to live on the ocean coastline, so our summers tend to be very warm, not extremely hot, they evenings get nice and cool (most of the time). My favorite way to stay cool involves sitting in the shade sipping a nice margarita! Something I'm looking forward to!
BFP #1: 8/23/2015 M/C: 9/24/2015
BFP# 2: 4/15/2016 M/C: 5/13/2016 Cervical Ectopic Pregnancy
5/13/2016 Methotrexate Shot #1
5/15/2016 Methotrexate Shot #2
5/17/2016 Methotrexate Shot #3
@lyndam1 I'm glad you like the bunnies I've decided to keep them forever to help make everyone smile!
Type 1 Diabetes since 2001, MTHFR hetero A1298T
Dogs: Raider 4 yrs, Dex 4 yrs
BFP #2 7/6/16 SCH, D&C 8/4/16
BFP #3 12/26/16 EDD: 9/6/17
My Chart / My Diabetes/Pregnancy Blog
My Type 1/TTC/Pregnancy Podcast:
Juicebox Podcast Episode 118
A1Cs:
1/12/16 6.7%
5/25/16 6.0%
11/2/16 6.1%
3/22/16 5.8%
4/27/17 5.4%
6/13/17 5.3%
"Sugar Fancy Tutu"
BFP #1: 8/23/2015 M/C: 9/24/2015
BFP# 2: 4/15/2016 M/C: 5/13/2016 Cervical Ectopic Pregnancy
5/13/2016 Methotrexate Shot #1
5/15/2016 Methotrexate Shot #2
5/17/2016 Methotrexate Shot #3
Does anyone have a good resource for Temping & such? I tried for a couple cycles, but my temps have always been on the low side (thyroid issue) and i didn't have much success with that or charting the CM consistency.
I also did Ovulation tests, but they got expensive after realizing that you need to use several to find the exact day/time. The whole process is just soooo stressful for me and it totally killed our sex life (it became such an awful timed chore and I still can't imagine enjoying it ever again) I now associate sex with feelings of "Failure" because we can't get pregnant the normal way.
I thought I was going to feel better this week because I had a busy weekend but I opened my nightstand drawer on Sunday night and saw our 8 week ultrasound picture. I lost it from there and couldn't sleep that night. Did anyone else keep their ultrasound? I don't think I can let go of it. My husband thinks I should throw it out but it's all I have left.
I've noticed a bad trigger for me has been the Huggies commercial about hugging your baby. It's on the radio a lot and I die every time I hear it. I feel like I'm missing out on so much.
@new_ivf I'm sorry for your loss. Have you tried Fertility Friend? You can log your temperatures on the app. I used Wondfo ovulation tests and it worked well for me. They are a lot cheaper than other tests you find at the drugstore. I got pregnant using these. I wasn't so crazy about the pregnancy tests though.
Here are the tests - https://www.amazon.com/Combo-Ovulation-Tests-Pregnancy-Strips/dp/B0002YIQLY?ie=UTF8&psc=1&redirect=true&ref_=oh_aui_detailpage_o01_s00
GTKY - I live in the Northeast and summers here are hot and humid. My husband and I go to the beach every weekend because we are only 45 minutes away. The coastline is pretty hot too especially in July and August but the water is always a refreshing temperature.
Me: 29, DH: 30
TTC Baby #1: 1/16
BFP #1: 4/1/16, MMC: 5/25/16
BFP #2: 10/10/16, EDD: 6/18/17
@new_ivf I don't temp. I tried, but my sleep is kind of irregular and I found temping was contributing to my sleep anxiety. When I started seeing my RE, he said he doesn't care about temping, and I'm getting a lot of info from the monitoring I do with him, so I feel like I don't need it for myself. Just thought I'd add that perspective since I assume you're seeing an RE (although not sure if you're planning to keep doing medicated/monitored cycles).
/loss mentioned/
TTC#1 July 2014
dx: MFI (morphology)
IUI #1 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Sept. 2015 ~ BFN
IUI #2 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Halloween 2015 ~ BFN
IUI #3 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Thanksgiving 2015 ~ BFP!!
hb 146 bpm at 7w5d
1/28/16 ~ began to say goodbye to our beautiful baby at 11w
d&c, followed by cytotec
TTCAL April 2016
IUI #4 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Apr. 2016 ~ BFN
IUI #5 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ CP
IUI#6 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ BFN
I constantly regret not getting my ultrasound pic from my first pregnancy when I saw the heartbeat because I thought "there would be other times" and didn't want to pay for it I kept the pregnancy test for years. Right now I still have the two positive tests from my recent miscarriage in a drawer and I look at them from time to time. *shrug* we all grieve differently. DH probably said to get rid of it because he thinks it made you sad and he doesn't like seeing you sad. But if you want to keep it I definitely would, just maybe put it somewhere where it won't sneak up on you.
Im doing ok. It's been a whirlwind week. We decided to get a puppy and have been getting ready for that. I pick him up tonight! I had to have an endoscopy after having difficulty swallowing- turns out I have esophagitis because I've been taking my pills the wrong way and taking too much Advil!
It was my 37th birthday Sunday. That was hard because it was just another reminder of how little time we have left to wait to try again. My first EDD is in 3 weeks. It just feels like another freaking punch in the face along with all the other punches we've gotten the last few weeks. My coworkers threw me a cute puppy shower today. It was so sweet and nice how much they are fawning over us getting a puppy, I just wish it didn't feel like they were only doing it because we've had so much sadness in our life of late. It struck me that today I should be having a baby shower not a puppy shower.
We started couples therapy last night, which went well. The therapist started crying when I told her about how much pressure I feel to have a child for DH and how I feel like I can't take any breaks and just have to subject myself again to another potential loss without having time to properly heal and grieve. I think DH finally got how much worse it is for me than him. I feel like if I gave up, I'd not only being giving up on my chance to be a mom, but his chance to be a dad. I'm not sure he'd ever be okay with it- no matter what he says.
GTKY We live in Chicago which can have hot summers and cool summers. This summer seems like it wil be hot, so we probably will spend a lot of time at my IL's place in Michigan at the beach! Can't wait!
Type 1 Diabetes since 2001, MTHFR hetero A1298T
Dogs: Raider 4 yrs, Dex 4 yrs
BFP #2 7/6/16 SCH, D&C 8/4/16
BFP #3 12/26/16 EDD: 9/6/17
My Chart / My Diabetes/Pregnancy Blog
My Type 1/TTC/Pregnancy Podcast:
Juicebox Podcast Episode 118
A1Cs:
1/12/16 6.7%
5/25/16 6.0%
11/2/16 6.1%
3/22/16 5.8%
4/27/17 5.4%
6/13/17 5.3%
"Sugar Fancy Tutu"
They're both on my fridge. I've been thinking about moving them, but was unsure where I should put them. Putting them into a photo album feels strange to me. @BrightenMySky I like the idea of the safe! We have one too, and I think that'll be best for now.
ETA: spelling corrections
BFP #1: 8/23/2015 M/C: 9/24/2015
BFP# 2: 4/15/2016 M/C: 5/13/2016 Cervical Ectopic Pregnancy
5/13/2016 Methotrexate Shot #1
5/15/2016 Methotrexate Shot #2
5/17/2016 Methotrexate Shot #3
@rainbowturtles sending you big hugs. I can totally understand the puking bringing up all the sad feelings.
@pattersRN glad this is a better week for you!
@BrightenMySky how did the reunion go besides the obvious bittersweet moments? Hope you were able to find some fun.
@Sugargirl1019 I'm so glad you have someone to chart with. People look at me like I have three heads when I bring it up.
@lyndam1 so glad you're getting your mojo back and hope you get clearance soon!
@new_ivf I wish I had words but I have nothing but big hugs for you. I know the raw pain is just overwhelming 3 days out.
@srnj3 Keep that ultrasound picture! It's a picture of your beautiful baby and, while painful, in time I think you'll be glad you still have it.
@chloe97 So glad your couples therapy went well, I'm really hoping it brings you some relief. Can't wait to see pics of your puppy!
I'm doing okay, I guess. A little more numb which is a good thing. Thursday is my first appointment with a grief counselor and I'm scared but hoping maybe it will help somehow. I can't believe it's been 3 weeks. It still hurts to look at myself in the mirror; every time I see my flat stomach it just feels like I've gotten punched. I can't believe he's not here anymore. I miss carrying him so badly.
Hoping AF will show up in the next week or so and then I can try to figure out if we want to try doing this again. Now that I've been released from my peri I go back to my OB next Monday and I'm hoping she'll be able to give me some advice.
Big big hugs to everyone.
Gavin - 8/27/10
*TW*
Gabriel - 2nd tri loss 5/17/16 Trisomy 18 & 21
Hope - 2nd tri loss 12/7/16 complications from pneumonia
It's weird, I half feel like it gets easier with each one and half feel like it gets worse. But now I'm in this crazy limbo world where I'm not pregnant but LO isn't gone either and I HATE IT SO MUCH!
Thanks to to everyone who posts here. Even just reading that women everywhere go through this and feel all the crazy and heartbreaking things I feel helps. Thanks for listening to me vent.
@newlymrsparaons I hope the ladies here can answer some of your questions. I've had 2 mc's but no D&Cs but there are women here who have
I'm really anxious this month because I was layed off last month from the company I was at for 5 years. I luckily found a new job quick and start next week, which would make timing terrible if I get a BFP. I hate that maternity leave benefits don't kick in till you've been at a company for a year. It adds whole nother layer of stress to TTC.
I don't want to put off TTC just for my new job... After TTC for over a year now, with 1 loss and nearing my 38th bday I've waited long enough.
As as for summer, I live near the coast so we get lots of June Gloom this time of year. I'll have to wait till August for my summer weather to begin again. The fog does make for comfortable sleeping weather.
@BaylieGirl sorry for the layoff and glad you have something new. I know it adds anxiety to TTC, but you can't time your life, so hopefully the new job will be understanding if you ended up needing to take mat leave before a year.
/loss mentioned/
TTC#1 July 2014
dx: MFI (morphology)
IUI #1 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Sept. 2015 ~ BFN
IUI #2 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Halloween 2015 ~ BFN
IUI #3 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Thanksgiving 2015 ~ BFP!!
hb 146 bpm at 7w5d
1/28/16 ~ began to say goodbye to our beautiful baby at 11w
d&c, followed by cytotec
TTCAL April 2016
IUI #4 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Apr. 2016 ~ BFN
IUI #5 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ CP
IUI#6 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ BFN
@BaylieGirl I too hate that maternity leave doesn't start until after a year! Good luck to you!
BFP #1: 8/23/2015 M/C: 9/24/2015
BFP# 2: 4/15/2016 M/C: 5/13/2016 Cervical Ectopic Pregnancy
5/13/2016 Methotrexate Shot #1
5/15/2016 Methotrexate Shot #2
5/17/2016 Methotrexate Shot #3
I am so sad. Found out at 8 weeks I likely have a blighted ovum. I'm just ready for it to be over. I don't know why they did not mention DC to me. I was just told what a natural m/c will be like. I am not prepared for that to happen at any moment. I am not prepared to wait weeks. I am supposed to travel this weekend and visit relatives, and am not prepared to start having a miscarriage there. I am supposed to get my HCG checked next week. I honestly don't get the point. My arm already looks terrible I've had so much blood drawn. It isn't like I have a yolk sac or pole or anything, I have absolutely nothing but a gestational sac and my HCG is going up but not nearly enough.
Next week I hope I can get a D&C scheduled, pending I don't bleed all over my parents couch over the weekend or something.
TW: Loss
/loss mentioned/
TTC#1 July 2014
dx: MFI (morphology)
IUI #1 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Sept. 2015 ~ BFN
IUI #2 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Halloween 2015 ~ BFN
IUI #3 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Thanksgiving 2015 ~ BFP!!
hb 146 bpm at 7w5d
1/28/16 ~ began to say goodbye to our beautiful baby at 11w
d&c, followed by cytotec
TTCAL April 2016
IUI #4 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Apr. 2016 ~ BFN
IUI #5 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ CP
IUI#6 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ BFN
thank you for the kind words. unfortunately it is a celebration I cannot miss. my experience so far has been very uncompassionate doctors, but all my nurses have been so great. Perhaps the doctor thought suggesting anything else was jumping the gun but even if my dates were a couple weeks off they'd be seeing more than this on scans. I am going to call this the "blighted ovum limbo".
TW: Loss
I don't know, anyways, my point is that I wish the technology was there. I wish that doctors could give us more accurate info but when I hear other stories I feel like they're hoping just as much that they're wrong and that our pregnancies will be fine and maybe we got the dates wrong or maybe they're missing something. It's so difficult and we end up in this limbo with 'do we keep our hopes up' and they won't give you anything for pain 'just in case' or they make you walk around wondering when/if something is going to happen.
ugh I'm crying now, for myself and for you ladies. We are honestly some of the strongest women around and yet so few will understand all that we go through or have been through. I'm so sorry we're all here and I wish I could make it better for everyone
From the beginning of the pregnancy, I said I thought it was a boy, and it hurts to learn I was right. I was so excited to find out the sex, but never this way. I wish this hadn't happened.
Sadly, I am new to this board. Sending love & healing to you all.
I apologize for my long post and TMI. I just need to get it out.
On May 30 I was having dinner with my husband and I suddenly lost my appetite. I had some lower back pains and cramping and thought it was gas. I went to the washroom and discovered I was bleeding. My husband took me to the ER to get it checked out. They did a pap and said my cervix was still closed but they could see blood. She tried to do an ultrasound with the portable machine but was unsuccessful. She scheduled me for an ultrasound for the next afternoon.
DH and I went home and tried to get some sleep. However, I woke up in the night to excruciating cramps and heavy bleeding. In my heart I knew something was horribly wrong. I woke my husband at around 7am and told him what was happening. He took me straight back to the ER to see if they could get me in earlier for my ultrasound. They couldn't but put me in a private room with warm blankets. Up until my ultrasound my bleeding was quite heavy and cramps were brutal.
My ultrasound finally came. The tech did the ultrasound. She then opted to do a vaginal ultrasound. I went to the washroom to empty my bladder and I passed the sac. I yelled for my husband and he came in. I was about to grab it from the toilet but the automatic flusher went off and took it. It makes me so sad, mad and sick that it got flushed. I told the tech what had happened. She continued with the vaginal US and my husband could clearly see that it was empty. She left and came back with her superior. He confirmed that I was in fact in the process of a miscarriage and that I still had tissue remaining. My heart sunk and I started bawling.
We went back to the Early Gestational Unit where the nurse was waiting for us. The ultrasound people had already gave them the report. We went back into my room and discussed the next step. I opted for Misoprostal (which BTW did nothing for me).
I passes a big chunk of tissue on Saturday evening. Sunday I passed some smaller chunks. My bleeding has been on and off and my cramps are gone.
I am so sorry for the long post. I have had one of the worst weeks of my life. Physically, I feel a bit better. Emotionally I am a mess. I can't concentrate and I have a constant lump in my throat, on the verge of breaking down and crying. I am trying so hard to be positive and wait for my body to heal so that we can start trying again, but I am really struggling. We wanted this baby so bad. I have no idea how long it will take for my body to heal and for me to get my period.
I just want this nightmare to be over.
GTKY: I live in Canada and it has been HOT! Not normal for this time of year. I have not been able to enjoy it though. Hopefully I am able to get some sun before the weather decides to change.
@lin0442 I'm so sorry for your loss and am so sorry you had a hard day today. Hugs to you.
BFP #1: 8/23/2015 M/C: 9/24/2015
BFP# 2: 4/15/2016 M/C: 5/13/2016 Cervical Ectopic Pregnancy
5/13/2016 Methotrexate Shot #1
5/15/2016 Methotrexate Shot #2
5/17/2016 Methotrexate Shot #3
On one hand I respect that and am trying to cool down, on the other I feel like it should be up to me since by regular standards it is an unviable pregnancy. I've been a total wreck and after a couple days of just laying in bed I am trying to get used to the idea that I will remain pregnant for another week or two, and to try to not anticipate miscarrying at any given place. It is difficult. Perhaps some of you will think I am an awful person for having wanted to ignore the small chance of a baby. I think it is awful too, and just now realize how much I have been panicking.
TW: Loss
Me: 37, DH: 36
Started TTC #1: 9/2015
Preliminary labs/testing @ 6 months: TSH, A1c, progesterone, prolactin, SA, HSG all normal
BFP: 5/19/2016, M/C: 5/29/2016
BFP: 6/22/2016 EDD 3//6/2017
/loss mentioned/
TTC#1 July 2014
dx: MFI (morphology)
IUI #1 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Sept. 2015 ~ BFN
IUI #2 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Halloween 2015 ~ BFN
IUI #3 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Thanksgiving 2015 ~ BFP!!
hb 146 bpm at 7w5d
1/28/16 ~ began to say goodbye to our beautiful baby at 11w
d&c, followed by cytotec
TTCAL April 2016
IUI #4 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Apr. 2016 ~ BFN
IUI #5 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ CP
IUI#6 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ BFN
TW: Loss
GTKY: it's super hot here. And our a/c just broke. We may be sleeping on the basement floor tonight!
/loss mentioned/
TTC#1 July 2014
dx: MFI (morphology)
IUI #1 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Sept. 2015 ~ BFN
IUI #2 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Halloween 2015 ~ BFN
IUI #3 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Thanksgiving 2015 ~ BFP!!
hb 146 bpm at 7w5d
1/28/16 ~ began to say goodbye to our beautiful baby at 11w
d&c, followed by cytotec
TTCAL April 2016
IUI #4 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Apr. 2016 ~ BFN
IUI #5 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ CP
IUI#6 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ BFN
Taking charge of your fertility is a really good book and might help with the temping.