TTC is slowly driving me insane. Feeling lonely and want to introduce myself...

RainbowUnicornBaby · June 2016

Hi. I'm been a longtime lurker, first time posting. A little about me:

Husband and I I are both in our mid 30's. We have unexplained infertility. I have had one chemical PG, followed by two first trimester missed miscarriages. I had to have surgery to correct scarring and poor lining due to the D&Cs I had from the MM. Our first IVF cycle was a PGD FET and it was a BFN

I'm currently waiting for my second PGD FET in early July (and feeling nervous it won't work again.)

I know I don't have to go into the whole story about how it seems like everyone around me is pregnant (and even more annoying, complaining non-stop about being pregnant.) Our parents vocally wanting grandchildren doesn't make it any easier. DH and I are very private people when it comes to this issue, cause frankly, we have been trying to spare our loved ones feelings. It's all a bummer and not something we feel comfortable sharing. When I first started trying to vent (to family) and make mention to the fact that pregnancy hasn't been easy for us, the comments and utter ignorance from some of the people around me have all but completely stopped me from ever bringing things up again--to basically anyone around me (except DH)--making this whole experience even more isolating. I know people's hearts are in the right place, but honestly, after going through this myself, I can say with authority that unless one has actually dealt with the physical and psychological ramifications of IF, you truly can't understand the toll it can take on a person.

So that's why I'm here

. Looking to hear the good and the bad and connect with others in this very trying time. I'm hoping and wishing none of us were here and that every single one of us can find peace at the end of this tumultuous journey.

rmarble23 · June 2016

Welcome... I completely understand the family pushing for grandbabies. From the moment I met my in-laws they asked about kids. I told my mom what we were going through and thankfully she kinda took it upon herself to protect us and told my mil (also one of her bff) to cut us some slack we were having trouble without going into details who then in turn told my sil to stop as well. This seemed to help quite a bit. They just needed someone to say hey chill out its not for a lack of trying. Maybe it's something that could help you.

RainbowUnicornBaby · June 2016

@rmarble23 I'm glad that worked out for you. I have someone close to me who has tried to be a kind of advocate for my situation. My MIL once said to me and my friend (after said friend told her it was taking her and her DH a while to conceive), and I'm paraphrasing, "Well, It was no problem for me. I'm not sure why people are having kids later and later. It's really not that difficult to do. People are just too busy these days." This is the same woman who recently told DH that she was excited for her first grandkid and all (SIL is PG) BUT she was really hoping it was going to be us that was PG instead.

Sounds like you are dealing with a more rational bunch.LOL

adunkin · June 2016

Welcome and sorry you need to be here. I hope you find the support you're searching for - and deserve!

cmm012 · June 2016

@adunkin Welcome and thank you for posting. It's a little nerve wracking to make the first post, but being a part of the community is definitely worth it. I completely feel you on the grandparent pressure. My husbands family have been waiting on grandchildren since we got married.

LizzieJ13 · June 2016

@RainbowUnicornBaby welcome to the forum. I'm sorry you're getting pressure from the parents & in-laws. That must be very difficult. I can sympathize with the ignorant comments from other people. I know they usually just aren't thinking and (fortunately) have not experienced this themselves, but it's still hard.

hoffmanr7 · June 2016

Welcome. I can understand your feelings of frustration. DH and I have been trying for over a year, and in that time approximately 10-11 people I know have either had children or become pregnant in that time.

I know you stated that you and your husband are very private about it, DH and I have been the same way until recently when I opened up to both his and my immediate families. I am sorry your attempts to do so in the past have not gone over well.

You will find the women on this board to be very helpful and supportive. I am sorry you have to be here but glad you are reaching out. It helps a lot talking about things with people who are in the same boat

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TTC is slowly driving me insane. Feeling lonely and want to introduce myself...

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