Scheduled C section... annoying family

Re: Scheduled C section... annoying family

• Tawny87 member

  June 2016

  Tell the nursing staff they can keep everyone away from you. Thankfully the hospital I'm delivering in is a locked ward so no one can get in L&D to see me without my approval.

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• megahairdrama4 member

  June 2016

  I believe our hosptial is that way as well.. just think its going to cause alot of family drama if i say NO!! Maybe they can just look through the window at our LO an be okay with that ... but i highly doubt it 

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• nightwitch member

  June 2016 edited June 2016

  ^^^^^What she said. YOU are in charge. Let them all whine about it amongst themselves about what a mean lady you are and try to have the birth experience YOU want.  

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• meggyme member

  June 2016

  Tell them if they have a problem with how you want the day you give birth to your child to go, they can wait until you get home to meet them. And since its your husband's family, make him run interference. It should be a decision you make together and you should both stand firm on it.

  DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::

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• megahairdrama4 member

  June 2016

  I totally agree.. just wish the hisband had a back bone towards his family lol...i hope they can just accept it... is anyone else having these issues or is it just me ... we have 13 days in counting an the family is all wanting in on our big day!! 

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• JuneBaby1984 member

  June 2016

   I'm scared that's going to happen with my boyfriend family as well. I only want him there for labour and stuff then think I want to call my family to come..get them out and then have his family come..I think I'll freak of they are all there at once. His mom said I have to call her as soon as I go into labour but I said nah we don't want ppl at the hospital u til after..we will call when u can come up. She's mad but never actually says she's mad so I just pretend not to notice haha. I'm sure lots of ppl have the same issue!

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• Tawny87 member

  June 2016

  megahairdrama4 said:

  I totally agree.. just wish the hisband had a back bone towards his family lol...i hope they can just accept it... is anyone else having these issues or is it just me ... we have 13 days in counting an the family is all wanting in on our big day!! 

  My husband, also named Jesse, is kind of spineless when it comes to his family. I told him that no one in his family is allowed to know I'm in labor until after the baby is born and that visitors don't start until I say so. I'm slightly terrified because he has a huge fam, as in 6 siblings. When we had our twins everyone wanted to come see them right away and we told them we would contact them with a visitation time, that basically worked until his grandpa kept trying to get admittance into the NICU to see the girls and I was already discharged and not even at the hospital at that time. The nurses and I all had a good laugh about how it's not 1950 anymore and people can't just waltz in and look at the babies lol.

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• Tawny87 member

  June 2016

  Or here is a good one, tell them they had to reschedule your section til the next day lol!

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• Jgar2u2 member

  June 2016

  Our hospital has a limit on visitors at one time. Also, since you're the one coming off the meds, etc. I think you should have more say than your husband. Equally his baby, of course, but if I were you I wouldn't want anyone around while I had my catheter in still or hadn't had some good bonding time with baby yet. They can wait. My mom won't come until after baby is born (she's watching our other kids). They get to visit first. DH's parents can wait until I'm ready. They live an hour away and I would be uncomfortable with them waiting for baby to be born. I dont want DH to feel like he had to hang out with them the same time he's trying to comfort and help me. His mom likes to make him feel guilty about everything. 

  
  

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• Boonhilde member

  June 2016

  No!!!! You're your husband's number one priority. He needs to put on his big boy pants and tell his family that you are getting surgery and they are not allowed in the room afterwards because it causes too much stress! You have every right to be demanding in this situation!

  
  
  

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• Boonhilde member

  June 2016

  Tell them it's hospital policy. My hospital strongly recommends guests wait until we're discharged to see the baby. Your in-laws don't have to know that it's not a policy they strongly inforce, but that the policy is basically "we'll keep people from you if you want." Telling them it's their policy takes all the blame and drama out of the situation. 
  
  This sort of thing happens all the time. It's ridiculous and hospitals understand better than anyone.

  
  
  

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• waldropra member

  June 2016

  I'm dealing with similar issues but with my own mother. She decided in January that she was going to come on my due date and stay for a week. Fine. In laws planned around her and decided to come the week before. Last week, we decided to schedule a rcs for 39 weeks. My mom didn't talk to me for a week when I told her since that's the week before she'll be here (major eye roll). Now, I find out she wants to drive down with my sister (who I already knew was coming) the day after the rcs to "surprise" me. It makes me so frustrated because she just honestly doesn't consider anyone else except for herself and what she wants. Why does she have to come the day after he's born when she's coming down the week after anyways? It's not a competition. 

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• alcermack member

  June 2016

  My mother is the only one I have been having issues with. I decided early on that I only want my parents and my husbands parents to visit while we were in the hospital. (I have had surgeries in the past and hospital stays and I never let anyone visit but my mom) I don't like company when I'm feeling vulnerable and coming down from meds especially since this is my first I have no clue how I'm going to feel. My mother keeps insisting on inviting my grandparents as well because they were at my sisters kids birth but my gramps has dementia and makes me very uncomfortable because of the things he does. The last thing I want is to have more to deal with. We aren't even having my husbands only brother and his gf visit because I don't think it's necessary. Our birthing center is big on postponing the first bath 8 hours so I told our parents that's y know one can hold her or stay long. They can come see her and then leave. I made a 10 day rule that we don't plan to have visitors so we can have solo bonding time. I had to make this rule because my mother kept insisting on coming home from the hospital with us and staying for 2 weeks since she will be on vacation (school principal). 
  I think you just have to stand your ground and make rules. This is your child and your the one who is going through hell and back to get him/her here. If people get mad then that's their problem. Don't worry about how others will feel because this is your time to be bossy and take what you want. Utilize the nursing staff and tell them your not feeling up to visitors or to only let them for an hour. My birthing center allows mommy dictate the visiting rules and hours. Good luck.

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• MynaBird member

  June 2016

  Set boundaries now. With my first, my husband left the hospital for literally two hours the entire time we were there. During that time, three sets of parents and step parents all descended at the same time. I was exhausted, cathetered, emotional and in need of a blood transfusion, and the episode ended with me and the baby both crying. You're going to be recovering from surgery AND adjusting to a new family dynamic, and you don't need any added stress. It's your husband's job to be the heavy here and give you the space you need -- and yes, ask the nurses for help, too. Take care of you and your baby, and everyone else can suck it up until you're ready to socialize. 

  
  
  
  

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• DSTtots4lyfe member

  June 2016

  Just say no.
   

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• katxattack1212 member

  June 2016

  I'd say you just found out hospital policy is no visitors until you are in a post partum room, which can be up to 12-24 hours post surgery. (This is what I was told, honestly) This allowed us space until we were ready. Second time around was an emergency at 11pm...so that weeded out visitors as well. 

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