Intro - 12 Months Later....

Mrs.RedHead · May 2016

DH (33) and I (29) have been together for 9 years, and married for almost 3. We started our TTC journey a year ago. DH had a sperm test a month ago, his count was 22 million (the nurse that did the follow up said that was "very low," but from any of the research I could find, that is on the lower end of the "normal" threshold), however motility and morphology were completely normal. They put him on vitamins C and E in addition to his multi vitamin and suggested a retest in July.

We are on CD 10 currently and BDing all over the place (the perk of having no children in the house!) and I've scheduled an appointment with my OB/GYN for this Friday (June 3rd) for the "One Year Follow-Up." I love my Dr, but am terrified of this appointment for two reasons 1) she could say that everything is normal and we should keep trying, or the opposite 2) she could say everything is not normal (though it was a year ago) and send us to an RE. DH and I have been putting money away every month (starting after his sperm test) in case we need to go the IUI/IVF route, as our insurance covers none of it. Still, a terrifying thought none the less.

I have two girlfriends who know we are TTC, but we decided not to tell our families for exactly this reason. Although DH is amazing, I'm feeling a bit alone, anxious and depressed and hoping to connect with some women with similar experiences.

Ducks&Cats · May 2016

Hello! We have been ttc 13 months. Only a couple select friends know we are ttc. I would say its time to get some preliminary testing done for you. Depending on your insurance you may want to have your OB order the testing or head straight to a fertility specialist. Your husband sounds wonderful, many women struggle with getting their men to the docs for an SA, also he is taking initiative to put money away for treatment which shows commitment. Most of us never expected to struggle ttc on this board, but yet here we are! I think you will find that this little forum is a great source of support.

hoffmanr7 · May 2016

Hi. DH and I have been trying for a little over a year as well. We have yet to see someone, but I do have an appointment set for late June. This board had been a great help and a wonderful source of comfort and support, even though I have only been part of it a few days.

I think the unknown aspect of a situation like ours only amplifies the worry. All I can say to you now is, I am sorry you have to be here and I hope joining this board helps you feel less alone.

Mrs.RedHead · June 2016

Thanks @Ducks&Cats, my husband IS wonderful (and a redhead

I'm very lucky.

Thank you too, @hoffmanr7, hopefully we are both onto other boards very soon!!

Today at work, my beloved, but loud and opinionated coworker asked me "When are you going to have babies already?!" Having had 8 kids starting when she was 20 (She is an AMAZING mom and grandma) I doubt she realizes that not all of us get pregnant every time we have sex (lol)! For real though, these are the kinds of things that make the day to day so difficult.

hoffmanr7 · June 2016

@Mrs.RedHead That is always really difficult and I can sympathize. I had an incident this weekend at my brother-in-laws wedding with a somewhat similar comment. The pain never seems to dull, no matter how many times it happens. In fact, the longer I go without conceiving, the worse it gets.

I think it really helps when you make people aware, because they may not realize what you have been going through. One of the more positive incidents I have had happened with a fellow coworker. At the time, I had heard from another person that she was expecting...again (she has a little one about 1 year old). She knew that DH and I had been trying for a while. When I asked her if it was true she was pregnant the first thing she said to me after confirming it was "I'm sorry". It actually threw me off guard a bit. I told her not to be sorry, that I was glad for her and that my not conceiving should not diminish her happiness. I only realized a bit later how much it really meant to me that she said that.

pupluv0410 · June 2016

I wish people would think before they ask those types of questions...but I guess if they haven't been through it then they don't realize how hurtful they can be. Even the nicest people can be so inconsiderate. I hope for good things for you and that we are not on this board for long.

zigzag8412 · June 2016

Welcome! DH and I just had our first round of testing done as well and I didn't realize what a relief it would be to have some answers- even if they weren't the answers I wanted. I totally understand the catch 22 of wanting something to be wrong (if only for it to make sense why it's taking so long) but not (because you always prefer being healthy). Turns out, I'm not ovulating. We started our first round of off-brand clomid yesterday and I'm simultaneously excited and nervous.

I have a few select friends and confidants that know we're struggling and it helps me a lot to have them. These boards have been very comforting as well! My family found out accidentally when I mis-sent a text intended for one of my knowing friends to my mother...

Oh well.
From one redhead to another- best wishes!

Mrs.RedHead · June 2016

Thanks, @zigzag8412 !

I had my appointment with my OB/GYN yesterday. The good news is that there are absolutely no signs of endometriosis, so no surgery (yay!). She is sending hubby back for another SA (which he is really not happy about,"waste of money," and then probably to a urologist). I will have a hystrosalpingogram in 2-3 weeks after my next period. She has also suggested Chlomid for my next cycle. Although my cycles are very regular she said it will make me release multiple eggs and that might improve our chances with DH's lower sperm count. If all that fails, she wants us to be seeing an RE by December at the latest.

I'm glad we're taking steps and I totally understand what @zigzag8412 means about the catch-22. Hearing her actually diagnose us as infertile (although we knew it was coming) kinda killed all my hope. I guess I'm just feeling a bit shell shocked, even though I knew all this was happening.

pupluv0410 · June 2016

It really is a bad situation to be in. It is physically and psychologically exhausting. When I had my HSG done, I kinda hoped they found something wrong to explain why we weren't conceiving.

Mrs.RedHead · June 2016

I understand wanting them to find something @pupluv0410 Our 2WW started today. It's crazy to think that after all this time, next month we are actually going to do something bigger than OPKs, BDing and praying!

pupluv0410 · June 2016

The 2WW is brutal! I wish you lots of luck in your journey.

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