Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
tuicatmama
member
Re: Q for C-Section Experienced Mamas Who Breastfed
My cousin had a c section and she still just did a cross cradle hold with no pillow and it didn't seem to bother her at all though.
I had a c section this past March. Let me just say first that no matter what, nursing might be uncomfortable; it is "major surgery" after all. I did not get a nursing pillow (a boppy) until a few days after we came home from the hospital and I still regret that I didn't have it that first week, especially while in the hospital while learning how to properly breastfeed. Having to prepare/ adjust pillows (one or two to support baby, and at least one extra behind my back) every 1-3 hours- especially in the middle of the night- really sucked when my LO was hungry and hated to wait even an extra minute to be fed and I honestly believe having the boppy would have made things so much easier.
When it came to the football hold, I loved it- for the first like 3 weeks while my son was still small. After that it became kind of a hassle to get him positioned just right as compared to the cross cradle hold.
As for anything else that helped, look into the "side lying" position for breastfeeding. It's great for moms recovering from a c section as baby is lying next to you as opposed to being on your lap/belly. This is one of my favorite ways to nurse especially if I'm feeling too tired to sit up or hold my son (I no longer use the nursing pillow to feed him)
On another note, if your child is particularly long at birth (mine was 20.5 inches and is still growing like a weed) you might find the pillow useful for only the first few months. I stopped nursing with mine once my LO got big enough (around 7/8 weeks) that it was easier to just hold him than to grab and use the pillow. But don't think that it'll be a waste to spend $30-$50 on a pillow that'll only be used for 2ish months because the boppy is multipurpose. As your baby gets older you can use it to prop them while lying down, for tummy time, and to support them when they are learning to sit.
best of luck!
I didn't take mine to the hospital, but the nurses were experts about building pillow scaffolding to help with feedings. It was usually like two in my lap and two on whatever side he was eating on to support my arm. I never had much luck with the football hold, so you'll just have to see what works best for you!
Here's a word of warning, or a 'head's up' if you will. The first two nights I was home from the hospital... I couldn't even get out of bed without help. Every time the baby cried or I needed to go to the restroom, I would have to wake up my husband to come and pull me out of bed! I finally perfected a technique where I CAREFULLY rolled onto my side and slithered out of bed. Sitting straight up in the bed will not happen for a while.
Good Luck, mama!
Another little tidbit, since your having a c-section and not going into labor naturally, it may take a little bit longer for your milk to come in. My DD was born on Sunday, and my milk came in on Wednesday. Even with a little bit of colostrum, she wasn't getting enough and her blood sugar was getting really low, so we had to supplement 2-3 times with formula while still in the hospital. I was pretty upset at first, and thought that my milk would never come in, but I just stuck with it and it did eventually come in....it just took awhile.
Heres the thing- the one small benefit to being in a country with an absurdly high rate for c sections is, is that the doctors are more well versed in them. If there are complications they have a higher chance of knowing how to handle it better than some European doctors where they might not have as much experience because the c section rates are much lower. I know this truth might vary from hospital to hospital but still, in sure you get what I'm trying to say here.
As for the second part, you'll be just fine! I thought I was going to be near bed ridden for weeks. Thankfully I couldn't have been more wrong! I was up out and of bed 11 hours afterwards, and the sooner you get up and moving the better your recovery will go. Walk around the maternity ward every chance youre feeling strong enough during your stay at the hospital. This will even help with the issues of gas and constipation that are compounded by surgery. As mentioned in previous post, I even went out to babies r us a few days after my son was born and walked from one end of the store to the other without any problems. You just need to go slow and know your limits. I knew I could only walk around for a about 15 minutes or so the first three-ish weeks or I'd be exta sore afterwards.
The other thing, I feel like my first shower was really scary. Not only because it hurt like crazy to get out of bed (so I had a fear of leaving the bed in the first place), but because I was worried about my incision getting hit by water. So I put off taking a shower for THREE DAYS (I am sure that I smelled heavenly). When I finally mustered up the courage to finally take one, I was pretty much kicking myself for not taking one sooner. I got out of that shower, feeling like a million dollars! So now, whenever I know someone that is going to have a baby, I always mention that if they end up having a c-section....to move as much as possible, and try to take a shower ASAP. I told my husband that for this c-section, my plan is to take a shower as soon as they allow me to get up and move around.
Also, you're going to have to clean your incision area daily, and doing it in the shower just seemed to make the most sense to me. Weather you choose to take that approach or decide on a different way that works better for you doesn't matter. Keeping the cut clean to prevent an infection is what's important. I've read terrible stories on here about c section moms having to have their cut reopened to clean it out and squeezed to drain it because it got infected. Apparently that hurts extremely bad and so, that made me paranoid about getting infected, hence the daily shower.