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August 2016 Moms
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How do you tell someone you are naming your child after "them"??

bbyTbbyT member
in August 2016 Moms
So I am naming my child after a friend I served with in the military, he passed away overseas in combat. Every time I try to call his mother I start to cry, just like I am right now typing this. Would a email or text message be to "un-personal"?? 
Has anyone by any chance run into this?? I have friends and family that have named their child after someone but they are still living. 
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Re: How do you tell someone you are naming your child after "them"??

  • SkiChic626SkiChic626 member
    We were going to name DD after my sister who was stillborn.  We asked my parents if they were OK with it, and they said yes it would be an honor - my mom cried, of course.  But we ultimately decided to use it as a middle name instead because I couldn't bare the thought of hearing my mom say her name all the time.  I'm not sure how close you are with the family, but you might not have the same type of situation so my point might be moot...just wanted to share.
    DD  <3 6/15/2014
    Baby #2 due 8/11/2016

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  • SekeramboSekerambo member
    We named my dd after a cousin of mine that passed away when he was 17. Since he has three sisters I asked them if they would be okay with me using the name.  When they said they weren't planning to use it as a first name then we decided to use it.  My mom was actually the first one to tell my uncle (she wanted to be since they have always been close) and she said he cried.  He also cried the first time he met my dd (so did I). He continually tells me how honored and happy he is that we used the name so I know we made the right decision.  If my mom hadn't wanted to tell my uncle then I would have done it in person.  Tears are not a bad thing and I'm sure they will be honored.  
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  • Curls919Curls919 member
    I think once the baby is here you can send an email with a picture saying "introducing [name]". And saying some nice things about her son and how you hope your child can keep his memory alive or something like that. 

    I'm Jewish so we usually only name babies after those who are no longer living. But we have ceremonies where we "explain" the name. And usually our family already knows (or can guess) who we named the baby after. 
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  • AmandaG225AmandaG225 member
    I know it is not the same situation but DD's middle name is my mom's maiden name. She cried when we told her. This time DS's middle name is my dad's first name (my dad goes by his middle name so there won't be any confusion). We plan on telling my parents his name this weekend and I expect there to be tears too. It has been a very emotional week for my family so they could use some good news! ☺
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Anniversary
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  • Stephanie7693Stephanie7693 member
    I would definitely call her, even if you sob your way through the conversation, I think it's still the best way to let her know. I imagine she would appreciate it, and would appreciate the call as well
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  • JaspertheyoungturnipJaspertheyoungturnip member
    Our LOs middle name is after my youngest sister's best friend who committed suicide about 2 months ago. When I asked his mother, she sobbed, and so did I, but people are always so grateful to know that someone loves their baby and still thinks about them as much as they do.
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  • bbyTbbyT member
    Thank you ladies!!! I shall give her a call hopefully this weekend. Thanks for the support and advice, I believe I knew what I needed to do, just needed the push! <3
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  • JournoGrl23JournoGrl23 member
    We're naming our daughter Michaela after my Dad's brother Michael who died of muscular dystrophy as a teenager. When I told my dad and his sisters they all cried. I haven't told my grandfather yet because I plan to tell him in person at the baby shower later this month. I'm sure he'll cry too. Like PPs have said, I think it's a huge honor to name a baby after a loved one who's passed away. I think tears will be perfectly fine in that situation.
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  • karlimonsterkarlimonster member
    If you can't muster a phone call perhaps a nice handwritten card explaining your name choice and to call you as you weren't sure you could get through a phone call. I think that would be really sweet and something tangible she could keep.
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  • KMeredith82KMeredith82 member
    We'd like to name the baby after my brother, who passed away less than a year ago. I know it will need to be a lose connection - not only bc we are having a girl, but also bc I don't think my parents or I would want to constantly be saying his name, and be reminded of him.  I think we will likely do the girl version of his middle name as our LOs middle name.

    For what it's worth, my cousin and her husband named their son after a friend who had died suddenly right before their son was born.  To this day they cannot say his name, and have always had to call him by his initials. 
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  • Knottie61516468Knottie61516468 member
    You can send it by mail with a nice note or card with your birth announcement picture 
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