Am I making the right choice?

kp90 · June 2016

Hi fellow mommas.. I'll try to make this quick but I wanted to get some opinions or thoughts. I am a FTM with my LO who was born in April. I plan to go back to work sometime in July. We have been on the wait list for a daycare on post. I work on a military base and SO is active duty. Well now they are saying we are not guaranteed a spot so I had to scramble to find a place off post. We looked at several. Most of them were disgusting, cold and dirty looking with staff I wasn't thrilled with (yet cheap and affordable) or there was one that was very clean, nice with friendly staff (yet sooo so expensive) my SO was fine to put her in the cheaper day cares or find a nanny online. I am not okay with those options. I am so paranoid and worry when it comes to me daughter. It only takes one time for something bad to happen and I would never forgive myself.... So long story short I made the choice to enroll her in the expensive day care and my parents are going to help us out in paying for it. In the meantime I will still try to get her on post but I think I will feel much better when it comes time to drop her off rather than if we would've gone to one of the cheap day cares. I am not thrilled about leaving her in the care of anyone but it's what we have to do. Did I make the right choice?

gamommyx3 · June 2016

Yeah you absolutely did.

One of the centers we toured had an unlocked door that we inadvertently went through looking for the office. There was an unattended child wandering that hallway while the teachers were on their phones. It was cheaper but my kid isn't going anywhere near there.

Charissadeats · June 2016

If you didn't feel right about the places, then money should never have been a deciding factor. You absolutely made the right choice!!

Money is just money - your child is much more Important!

NB817 · June 2016

Hell yes you did!
you need to feel 100% confident in who is taking care of your child and if some place or someone gave you an uneasy feeling it's for a reason.
Think about how worried you'd constantly be while at work if she were in one of the cheaper places...you'd probably not be as focused on your job because you'd be so worried.
And btw thank you and your husband for your service!

missnc77 · June 2016

I have our LO on the CDC wait list on base, but it's hard to get in there. I'm expecting her to go off base to the more expensive daycare, but it is what it is. I don't feel comfortable with the home day cares that are certified on base, and at least with the off base daycare, they let you pick up your kid after 5:30pm. On base, if you're there any later than 5:30, you have to pay. That gives me 30 minutes to log off at work and get to base (we live off base). Ridiculous.

Edit: I should also put a disclaimer that the off base daycare is not that much more expensive. The CDC charges based on rank and the spouse's income. My husband is a Major, and I make a decent income, so we'd have to pay the top tier.

kbrands7 · June 2016

Absolutely the right decision! Your baby's health and safety is not where you want to cut corners or say "good enough" if you don't feel it's safe or clean.

LadySamLady · June 2016

You definitely made the right choice. You need to have complete trust in the people caring for your child, it's something you really can't put a price on. As long as your parents are willing and able to help pay, I see no reason not to take them up on their generous offer.

LadySamLady · June 2016

PS hi @kp90!! I've been wondering how things are going with you and Mila! How are you? How's your SO handling fatherhood? Hugs!

mrstmoose · June 2016

Absolutely. The safety of your LO is far more important.

KyleeWaller · June 2016

Absolutely. There is no excuse for a filthy facility or bad staffing. You made the right choice.

lizChesnut · June 2016

Definitely!!!! You're a mama bear! Never apologize or be embarrassed about going with your gut and putting lo's safety first! Too many horror stories start with mama saying she wished she had listened to that feeling!
Good for you!

lbachran · June 2016

@kp90, a friend forwarded me this article a few weeks ago. It's an article primarily on paid family leave, but it talks about the issue through the lens of SIDS and childcare (licensed facility vs family member or friend vs in home provider.) I cried through the whole thing and then shared it with DH because sometimes it's hard to justify the huge price differential for childcare. The quality of care and training of staff are worth every penny you'll invest. Don't doubt yourself because it can save a life.

https://www.slate.com/articles/business/the_grind/2016/05/paid_family_leave_improves_babies_health_and_probably_save_their_lives_we.html

Jenly17 · June 2016

Always, always trust your instincts. If the cheaper places didn't feel right, it was for a reason!

yogahh · June 2016

lbachran said:

@kp90, a friend forwarded me this article a few weeks ago. It's an article primarily on paid family leave, but it talks about the issue through the lens of SIDS and childcare (licensed facility vs family member or friend vs in home provider.) I cried through the whole thing and then shared it with DH because sometimes it's hard to justify the huge price differential for childcare. The quality of care and training of staff are worth every penny you'll invest. Don't doubt yourself because it can save a life.

https://www.slate.com/articles/business/the_grind/2016/05/paid_family_leave_improves_babies_health_and_probably_save_their_lives_we.html

heartbreaking....makes me question our decision to go back to work. but we cant loose a paycheck. the part about not tearing a puppy away from its mom at 8 weeks really hit me.

saladflambe · June 2016

Yes

MsIan · June 2016

I'm also going through something similar. I think you completely made the right choice! Our LOs are defenseless right now and the can't speak for themselves. You've gotta leave them in the hands of someone you trust.

kp90 · June 2016

@LadySamLady hi! We are doing great. Mila is good and growing before our eyes. Dad is doing awesome. He's so good and patient with her. While he was off work he would take her and let me get some sleep at night. It was wonderful. I miss it, lol. I just don't have as much time to bump these days

but it's getting easier. How are you all doing?!

yogahh · June 2016

kp90 said:

@LadySamLady hi! We are doing great. Mila is good and growing before our eyes. Dad is doing awesome. He's so good and patient with her. While he was off work he would take her and let me get some sleep at night. It was wonderful. I miss it, lol. I just don't have as much time to bump these days but it's getting easier. How are you all doing?!

Glad to hear things are well! And that things with Dad are good

TunieBee · June 2016

Yes. Absolutely. Without a doubt. Good for you for going with your gut.

BabyBliss2012 · June 2016

I agree, there are many aspect that need to be reviewed when choosing a daycare, and money isn't the only thing. My biggest thing was looking at the kids that go there. Are they happy?? We went to a few with our first child and some of the kids looked depressed or sad. We made our decision on a school where the kids were happy and excited to be there. Luckily it happened to be a cheaper daycare, but that wasn't the deciding factor for us!

kp90 · June 2016

Thanks ladies!

Want a personalized experience?

Am I making the right choice?

Re: Am I making the right choice?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards