When should you start correcting baby?

kkerner87 · May 2016

So my LO has a knack for being a tad aggressive. She bites and "hits" and pulls at faces and hair. At fist I remind her to be easy something like "aahhh, easy.." if she doesn't listen (since she probably won't since she is 9 months old), I say her full name in a stren voice and "stop" this usually gets her attention and seems to work. Well we over my in-law's house and she was doing this to her cousin who is about the same age. So i do my form of "discipline" and my in-law says "awww she doesn't know what she is doing.." and i say "I know, that's why i am teaching her..." she says "Sorry, but i think it's too young..." I feel like it is never too young to teach right from wrong. Am I being too hard?

Growingapepper · May 2016

Great question!!! I was just around a 10 month old who was hitting people's faces and I was wondering what is the appropriate way to handle it...

sdheft619 · May 2016

I do the same with my daughter. I tell her to be soft and "pet" my hair or face to show her. If she Keeps pulling, I say her name sternly and tell her hairs not for pulling. She likes to grab my skin on my chest which hurts so bad, I usually say ouch and be soft but I'm afraid she likes the ouch reaction?! I think you are handling it right. Now, if you were smacking her hand or something like that, id say she was way too young for that because I don't think she'd understand. I think you're doing the right thing, you're her mommy, pretty much everything you do is right!

ABombard12 · May 2016

My LO has been biting me and DH on the shoulder and our arms and thinks its funny, also he pulls my hair and grabs my face when we nurse. So for the biting we have stopped all "fake/play" biting (i.e. 'going to eat your piggys (and pretend to eat his toes)') just so he doesn't see that and think oh im doing the same thing and its funny. I also tap his lips when he does it and say keep your teeth to yourself - ouch that hurts mommy. So far I think the tap and the saying are working..he stops right away. As for the hitting/pulling my hair I do the same thing as mentioned, I take his hand and 'pet' my face and say awww love the mama aww so nice and then ill to it to him. He will then do it back to me. Not sure if its working but in the moment he may understand? ha

And I also agree -- everything you do is right. I started 'teaching' him things a couple months ago...he may not have understood it but the repetition in my mind may work and if anything it is teaching / reminding me to teach him so when he does start to understand I am doing it ha

dmbfan46835 · May 2016

We def use no a lot. He tries to commit suicide off of the changing table daily. He constantly grabs at every cord or cable, grabs every tv component, picture frame, drawer and cabinet, etc. If he has been told no once, it becomes his new favorite thing. But I keep repeating it a stern voice "no Judah, no". And then I rationalize my thought process with him. You can't do that because... Like he understands, lol. I'm a why person so I want to explain things to him early so he understands my thought process and can critically think things through himself. I know it's WAY too early for all of that but wanting to get us all in the habit now. I say never too early to start good habits.

wannabeamongoose · May 2016

I don't think it's ever too early. Sure, baby may not have a clue what you're saying right now. But she needs to get used to hearing these things for when she does start to understand. It's not like your yelling at her. You're just being firm and consistent. We do a lot of "hair is not for pulling," "let's make a different choice," and "give gentle pets" (when touching the dog). We always demonstrate what we do want baby to do because even if he doesn't really comprehend the words that are coming out of our mouths, he does have the ability to imitate the good behavior.

chelseajeanene · May 2016

I say "No!" 100000x a day lol but he usually thinks I'm being funny, he's starting to understand though! When he touches the cats I always say "be nice" and we show him how to pet them softly. If he hits me I always tell him "that's not nice." He's started to stroke my hair really softly (it actually feels really good lol) so I know he's learning!

ElleMF728 · May 2016

I definitely don't think there is a problem with saying "no". You will likely have more actual success with redirection at this point. We usually just say "that's not nice" and then move him somewhere else to play with something else.

rachelkawesome · May 2016

I think you are doing the right things. Better to start early and be consistent. Like PP I have noticed my son does listen and changes his behavior in the moment if I tell him 'no,' which is good enough for me right now. I'm also big on providing logic as to why I'm saying 'no' to something. These days the logic is usually "That's not safe" hahaha!

mrsmctaggart6 · May 2016

I definitely correct my little beastie, I tell her "no, we are nice to our friends" she stops and pays attention so hopefully I'm getting through to her at least a little... She's an aggressive little bugger...

ForeverEverAfter · May 2016

This is a good time to correct. Otherwise, they learn that it's acceptable to hit people or break things, and then one day you have to change all the rules and they'd be confused. At this age I try to just redirect. I quick "no", followed by a positive direction. Like "no, that hurts" then demonstrate how she can be gentle (with an open hand).

vibarra27 · May 2016

ElleMF728 said:

I definitely don't think there is a problem with saying "no". You will likely have more actual success with redirection at this point. We usually just say "that's not nice" and then move him somewhere else to play with something else.

I do the same! The twins have started "fighting" with each other. Rolling on top of each other, pulling hair, pulling ears, kicking eachother the whole shebang. I tell them " thats not nice, we do not hit"& move them away. They've also been pulling DDs hair & reach for my hair when they get a chance & tell them the same thing. Theres times where they "listen" & move on but sometimes they dont care & keep @ it.

Its never too soon to teach our kids anything, sometimes some things can take longer for them to understand

kmcshane0211 · May 2016

I think it depends on your philosophy. I try to engage her as much as possible in things she CAN do so I'm not saying "no" constantly.

Then, she's more receptive to hearing it when it's actually needed. I think at this age redirection is best.

missliz53 · June 2016

I think it is never too early to start working on good behavior. I'm saving no for things that really count, but I use "gentle with mommy" or the pets a lot, along with a lot of helping her to pet the animals. I also say ouch in a high pitch voice followed by be gentle. I've noticed she tends to try it a few times with varying degrees of gentleness and when she does get it, I praise her like crazy. If that doesn't work, I put her down or stop playing with her or pull her away from the cats.

If it's something like trying to sit up in her changing table, I ask her to lay down please and gently lay her back down and repeat that several times and offer toys to distract.

kkerner87 · June 2016

Yep, I'm all for redirecting them! That makes more sense to the baby. I don't want to be that mom who is so strict and just telling her "no" all the time, but i refuse to have a bratty child who does not listen at all. Raising kids is hard effing work...

LoveLee85 · June 2016

I don't say 'no' because I feel like LO needs guidance on what TO DO, instead of just 'no'. I have been saying 'gentle' from the start. I show him on his chest with his own hand, so he's feeling and seeing what gentle means. It's working! He use to rip my flowers out of the hanging baskets, now he touches the so softly. Melts my heart. I worked at a Montessori 18 month-24 month room. We always said things like: "hold your coat up on your arm" instead of "don't drag your coat on the floor" making it positive. Honeslty, it's never too early to lead by example and teach baby.

jht4 · June 2016

I don't think it's ever too early to teach good behavior.

I do try to stay away from using "no" or "stop". Just because the child follows that direction and stops the negative behavior doesn't mean that he will engage in a positive behavior. If you want to stop hitting, I say "use gentle hands" or "keep your hands to yourself" and redirect to a different activity. In other words, tell them what TO do instead of what NOT TO do. Then, catch the child doing the positive behavior (being gentle) and give lots of attention. Obviously, most of this is going to go over a 9 month old's head but I don't think it is ever too early to get yourself in the habit of doing this and it will just make it that much more consistent for the child later.

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