Hi! I've been away from here for a couple months because I needed to stop obsessing, but lately I've been really missing having people to cheer for and commiserate with. Looks like there are lots of new faces here, and I'm looking forward to getting to know y'all!
Cycle: 8/7
CD/DPO: 26/12
Testing: Today, BFN
Timing: -5, -3, -2, -1, O, +1
R/R/CS: Pardon the TMI. I've had spotting on day 7, 9, 10, 11, and 12 (some days light, some days more). This is not normal for me -- I usually spot on day 12 and 13 and then AF comes the next day, though sometimes it drags out a couple more days. My temp dropped today too, but no AF, and it's not due for a couple days. I'm so worried that something is wrong with me... I had an OBGYN tell me long ago that I likely had endometriosis but never got the official diagnosis, and now I'm worried that I have in fact had it all along and that it could be contributing to it taking awhile to conceive. Will call the doc tomorrow. I *bawled* about it this morning and have been teary all day. It's so hard wanting something so badly, doing everything right to make it happen, and having it still not happen.
GTKY: Somewhere around a 5-6? I dunno. I streaked and skinny-dipped when I was younger and wore plenty of revealing clothes, but I dress modestly now that I'm in my 30s. I'm comfortable with my body but don't need the whole world to see it.
Judging by the love-tits on my post about adding a disclaimer about BFN's in the TWW, I'm going to assume that we can go ahead with that now. I was hoping not to be the person to start it tomorrow because I anticipated today to be CD1, but it's not, so I'll start the TWW early tomorrow and add it.
Anyone have any suggestions to the wording or is it okay as is?
'Reminder: If you have a BFP to report, congratulations! Regularly contributing members should post these in the Weekly Grad Thread. If you are a new member who has not been a regular participant of this board, no matter how long your journey, there is no need to update here, please move to your BMB'.
(I added the bold, maybe to clarify what 'new' means? That's it's more about the level of participation versus length of time?)
Me: 32 DH: 33 Married: October 2015 TTC #1: October 2015 EDD #1: June/July 2017
As a newbie--i thought it was very odd to see the BFP's recently on here. I ready the "guidelines" very carefully because I'm new and want to respect everyone.
Cycle: 5 NTNP / 1 TTC
CD/DPO: 31/14
Testing: wasn't going to but wondfro sticks showed up yesterday (delivery on a Sunday? Thank you Amazon Prime) BFN
Timing: horrible
R/R/CS: Nothing today
GTKY: On a scale of 1 to 10 (and an explanation), how physically modest are you? 1 being extremely modest, no revealing clothing, always changing in private, never fully naked unless it's sex or in the bathroom. 10 being letting all hang out, not worried if anyone sees anything, fully comfortable being naked, whatever. I'd say 7. I'm not modest, but I'm plus size and don't love my body.
Judging by the love-tits on my post about adding a disclaimer about BFN's in the TWW, I'm going to assume that we can go ahead with that now. I was hoping not to be the person to start it tomorrow because I anticipated today to be CD1, but it's not, so I'll start the TWW early tomorrow and add it.
Anyone have any suggestions to the wording or is it okay as is?
'Reminder: If you have a BFP to report, congratulations! Regularly contributing members should post these in the Weekly Grad Thread. If you are a new member who has not been a regular participant of this board, no matter how long your journey, there is no need to update here, please move to your BMB'.
(I added the bold, maybe to clarify what 'new' means? That's it's more about the level of participation versus length of time?)
Y'all, I gotta be honest that the lengthy descriptions in the original thread posts of who can and can't tell us about a BFP are just kindof rubbing me wrong, as much as I feel you all on them. I think something as simple as "reminder - no BFPs here" for the original TWW thread post could suffice. I'm with you all and sharing my love and solidarity in feeling betrayed to see it when/where it's not welcome. I think some really good reminders were suggested here. But I also don't think that all the rules/reminders in the world will stop some from just failing to read the room here.
me . early 30's | h . mid 30's | < 3 . 2013
ntnp #2 . summer 2018
*siggy warning*
ttc#1 . jul 2015
mmc . mar 2016 | 6w2d
dx PCOS (non-IR) / subclinical hypothyroidism . summer 2016
tx metformin, levothyroxine, LP progesterone, femara + trigger + ti . fall/winter 2016 BFP! . jan 2017 DD . oct 2017
@virginiaham you have a good point. Just saying "Remember, no BFP posts here!" or something would probably suffice. There are enough rules explained in the grad thread for someone unfamiliar to the boards to catch on to what they need to do. I support the short and sweet version.
I agree, simpler may be better here. My feeling is, the more rules we have the less likely new members are to read them.
I guess it's a trade-off. If we are being honest, drive-bys won't be stopped, those people don't read the TOU. So what would members rather see? Anyone here, majorly participating or not, in the grad thread, or just those deemed to have participated to a certain extent? I don't have an answer, but if we want members participating I think we may need to encourage more GTKY threads. It's hard as is to interact on this board, or at least that's my feeling. I've been around (actively participating) since I think Octoberish, and I don't recognize a lot of names now, but I'd like to know more. I could be totally wrong, just my $0.02.
DD born PPROM preemie at 36 weeks on 10/1/17 after over a year TI, then 3 failed IUIs, and finally a successful IVF FET.
Due with #2 5/2/19 after HIO once in my FW, because apparently that's how life works now. Team Blue!
Just wanted to pop in to say I agree with @mrsdee15 that it seems like more GTKY threads might be a good idea. I was pretty active back in late 2014 (pre-mass exodus) and there appeared to be a lot more going on then to keep people talking to one another and participating besides the daily threads. I'm new in the sense that I'm recently back on TB, and try to participate where I can, but there doesn't always seem to be a lot of interaction going on, and that definitely makes it difficult (and probably more intimidating for some) to jump in and feel like a contributor.
Genuine Question: What is considered a "regular poster?" To me 5 posts would be a lot..? I've never been a part of a forum like this before and really don't understand all the little unspoken rules. Why can't someone post a BFP if they have one? I'm very much a newbie and being a part of this community seems very complex and intimidating.
@Wannabeamilf. 5 posts would not be considered a lot. I made 5 posts before I even got to work this morning. I'm not saying that your whole life needs to revolve around this board, but it's a community where participation is valued. Some of these 'regular posters' have been here 3 months. 6 months. A year, or longer. If we're not here every day, it's pretty close. We interact, commiserate, have good days and bad days. We KNOW each other and are invested in each other's TTC journeys, as well as regular lives.
This board, with so many posters of various histories and journeys, thrives on organization. TTC is a highly emotional process and we take care to protect the feelings of our friends throughout, because that's what you do for people you care about. It was decided by the people who participate regularly on this board that BFP's should be moved to their own thread for two reasons - one because they're special and deserve to be seen in their own thread instead of a TWW thread where people who aren't in their TWW wouldn't even see it, and also so that the posters who aren't having a great cycle and getting countless BFN's don't have to be surrounded by others' good news on a day when things just aren't going their way. Especially when those BFP's come from people we don't know, who haven't participated, and (not saying this about anyone in particular, but it has happened) appear to just be waving their good fortune in the face of people who are struggling.
I would suggest you read the newbie guide (where all of those 'unspoken rules' you mentioned are actually plainly stated), lurk for awhile to get a feel for this board and then jump in. If you're anything like the rest of us, you'll realize that the more you put in, the more you get out of it, and your first 5 posts will be a distant memory because you'll have done a couple of hundred by then. And you'll realize it took a lot more than 5 posts to be a genuine part of a community.
Me: 32 DH: 33 Married: October 2015 TTC #1: October 2015 EDD #1: June/July 2017
I have lurked for about two months now and read the newbie guidelines. Thank you for your reply though. I guess it just takes a long time to learn/memorize the rules. I just want to be happy for anyone who gets a bfp but I can understand why others would be upset about it. I work full time (as of right now) and am also a full time student so it just seems like it would be hard to write something 5 times a day. But I do appreciate this community and think it's great to have a place where people can feel comfortable talking about their ttc journey.
@Wannabeamilf Eh, not 5 posts a day. I think @MelissaM090 assumed you meant 5 posts overall (which is a question we've gotten before). There's not really a hard and fast "what's a contributing member?" rule and the opinion differs between all members of the board, which is why you're not going to get a straight answer on this.
It's suggested as a baseline to post on the semi-reg in the daily TWW and WTO threads (where applicable), as sort of a check-in or journal. The GTKY often have pretty good talking points. On top of that, read through others' posts there - if you see something you want to comment on, go ahead and use the quote button below their post and/or give them a direct callout (I've found the quote box doesn't notify the user in their dashboard).
Additionally, there's usually daily theme threads that we cycle through during the week - this is where you'll probably see the most conversation going on.
While there's definitely days that I'll be on the Bump nonstop, there's also times that I'm a ghost (like this weekend, thanks @linzrunz for grabbing the grad thread ). Same goes for all other members here. It's the overall contributions and quality that make the biggest difference.
Thank you @TheJerilu That comment was very helpful. I appreciate the tip about quoting/directly mentioning people also. That's more of what I meant by "unspoken rules." I wouldn't have known that unless someone told me.
Re: TWW Monday
Cycle: 8/7
CD/DPO: 26/12
Testing: Today, BFN
Timing: -5, -3, -2, -1, O, +1
R/R/CS: Pardon the TMI. I've had spotting on day 7, 9, 10, 11, and 12 (some days light, some days more). This is not normal for me -- I usually spot on day 12 and 13 and then AF comes the next day, though sometimes it drags out a couple more days. My temp dropped today too, but no AF, and it's not due for a couple days. I'm so worried that something is wrong with me... I had an OBGYN tell me long ago that I likely had endometriosis but never got the official diagnosis, and now I'm worried that I have in fact had it all along and that it could be contributing to it taking awhile to conceive. Will call the doc tomorrow. I *bawled* about it this morning and have been teary all day. It's so hard wanting something so badly, doing everything right to make it happen, and having it still not happen.
GTKY: Somewhere around a 5-6? I dunno. I streaked and skinny-dipped when I was younger and wore plenty of revealing clothes, but I dress modestly now that I'm in my 30s. I'm comfortable with my body but don't need the whole world to see it.
Anyone have any suggestions to the wording or is it okay as is?
'Reminder: If you have a BFP to report, congratulations! Regularly contributing members should post these in the Weekly Grad Thread. If you are a new member who has not been a regular participant of this board, no matter how long your journey, there is no need to update here, please move to your BMB'.
(I added the bold, maybe to clarify what 'new' means? That's it's more about the level of participation versus length of time?)
DH: 33
Married: October 2015
TTC #1: October 2015
EDD #1: June/July 2017
Cycle: 5 NTNP / 1 TTC
CD/DPO: 31/14
Testing: wasn't going to but wondfro sticks showed up yesterday (delivery on a Sunday? Thank you Amazon Prime) BFN
Timing: horrible
R/R/CS: Nothing today
GTKY: On a scale of 1 to 10 (and an explanation), how physically modest are you? 1 being extremely modest, no revealing clothing, always changing in private, never fully naked unless it's sex or in the bathroom. 10 being letting all hang out, not worried if anyone sees anything, fully comfortable being naked, whatever.
I'd say 7. I'm not modest, but I'm plus size and don't love my body.
ntnp #2 . summer 2018
*siggy warning*
ttc#1 . jul 2015
mmc . mar 2016 | 6w2d
dx PCOS (non-IR) / subclinical hypothyroidism . summer 2016
tx metformin, levothyroxine, LP progesterone, femara + trigger + ti . fall/winter 2016
BFP! . jan 2017
DD . oct 2017
I guess it's a trade-off. If we are being honest, drive-bys won't be stopped, those people don't read the TOU. So what would members rather see? Anyone here, majorly participating or not, in the grad thread, or just those deemed to have participated to a certain extent? I don't have an answer, but if we want members participating I think we may need to encourage more GTKY threads. It's hard as is to interact on this board, or at least that's my feeling. I've been around (actively participating) since I think Octoberish, and I don't recognize a lot of names now, but I'd like to know more. I could be totally wrong, just my $0.02.
then 3 failed IUIs, and finally a successful IVF FET.
Due with #2 5/2/19 after HIO once in my FW,
because apparently that's how life works now. Team Blue!
Just wanted to pop in to say I agree with @mrsdee15 that it seems like more GTKY threads might be a good idea. I was pretty active back in late 2014 (pre-mass exodus) and there appeared to be a lot more going on then to keep people talking to one another and participating besides the daily threads. I'm new in the sense that I'm recently back on TB, and try to participate where I can, but there doesn't always seem to be a lot of interaction going on, and that definitely makes it difficult (and probably more intimidating for some) to jump in and feel like a contributor.
ETA: over-abundant usage of the word "seem"
TTC#1 April 2016
This board, with so many posters of various histories and journeys, thrives on organization. TTC is a highly emotional process and we take care to protect the feelings of our friends throughout, because that's what you do for people you care about. It was decided by the people who participate regularly on this board that BFP's should be moved to their own thread for two reasons - one because they're special and deserve to be seen in their own thread instead of a TWW thread where people who aren't in their TWW wouldn't even see it, and also so that the posters who aren't having a great cycle and getting countless BFN's don't have to be surrounded by others' good news on a day when things just aren't going their way. Especially when those BFP's come from people we don't know, who haven't participated, and (not saying this about anyone in particular, but it has happened) appear to just be waving their good fortune in the face of people who are struggling.
I would suggest you read the newbie guide (where all of those 'unspoken rules' you mentioned are actually plainly stated), lurk for awhile to get a feel for this board and then jump in. If you're anything like the rest of us, you'll realize that the more you put in, the more you get out of it, and your first 5 posts will be a distant memory because you'll have done a couple of hundred by then. And you'll realize it took a lot more than 5 posts to be a genuine part of a community.
DH: 33
Married: October 2015
TTC #1: October 2015
EDD #1: June/July 2017
@MelissaM090 That was so eloquent and amazing.
Married: November 2015
TTC#1: January 2016
BFP: 5/02/16 - MC: 5/27/16
TTC#1 April 2016
Eh, not 5 posts a day. I think @MelissaM090 assumed you meant 5 posts overall (which is a question we've gotten before). There's not really a hard and fast "what's a contributing member?" rule and the opinion differs between all members of the board, which is why you're not going to get a straight answer on this.
It's suggested as a baseline to post on the semi-reg in the daily TWW and WTO threads (where applicable), as sort of a check-in or journal. The GTKY often have pretty good talking points. On top of that, read through others' posts there - if you see something you want to comment on, go ahead and use the quote button below their post and/or give them a direct callout (I've found the quote box doesn't notify the user in their dashboard).
Additionally, there's usually daily theme threads that we cycle through during the week - this is where you'll probably see the most conversation going on.
While there's definitely days that I'll be on the Bump nonstop, there's also times that I'm a ghost (like this weekend, thanks @linzrunz for grabbing the grad thread
Me: 28 & Partner: 32 | Married 2014
BFP 7/29 EDD 4/11
TTC#1 April 2016
TTC#1 April 2016