Not ready to tell people yet

LynnNJ · May 2016

I am at about 5 weeks now and not officially showing yet. However I am majorly bloated. Because of that, many of my pants don't fit me comfortably. Because friends and aquaintences know we were ttc, we are getting comments and questions about me being pregnant.

Our immediate family and just a handful of close friends know. Yesterday at a bbq, a work aquaintence of my dh asked if we were having a baby. She knows nothing about us except Because that we got married a few years ago. I responded that hopefully we will have news to share soon. I guess that's all I can say.

Any other good responses to questions like that and when people ask if anything is new?

mskeenan · May 2016

It is such a delicate topic . I hate that people bring it up . I've been snarky before and said "that's a really sensitive topic for me and I don't really care to discuss it " I didn't like how I felt after I responded that way . I like your answer ... Something along the lines of "hopefully soon " or " working on it " and then immediately changing the subject has seemed to work . That way you don't have to go into details . Really , you are not obligated to share this with anyone . I say whatever you are comfortable with saying is best !

tvh1982 · May 2016

Congratulations!!
The 'we'll let you know when it happens' or the 'we are working on it' are responses that might help..

riveridgional · May 2016

I love the response you gave! I think it's perfect, actually. And, congrats to you!

LynnNJ · May 2016

Thanks. I found it's trickier with friends that knew I was going through ivf since I had been open with them before. Today, my response to a friend hinted that I am pregnant or at least am waiting to find out. It was difficult to answer because she asked if I was waiting to find out.

There are a lot of people (not everyone) who know we were going through ivf and others who know I had a myomectomy last year so I could get pregnant. We'd like to wait until the 2nd trimester, unless I'm showing sonner, to tell most of our good friends. We will likely tell others, if we can get away with it a little after that. We would probably do a Facebook announcement for people who we do not need to tell personally after we told everyone else in person, by email, or text.

Originally I was not going to tell many people about the ivf. I ended up telling more people than originally planned because during the retrievals (I did 3 back to back ), my early morning monitoring, all the medications I was taking, the surgery, plus another small surgical procedure, became such a big part of my life. There wasn't much more I could talk about when people asked about what was new.

I guess I can keep the attitude that this awkward time is for a happy reason and only for a short time when looking at the big picture.

zantster · May 2016

@LynnNJ For some reason what worked for me is just saying "hopefully one day" or "We'll see how things go. But right now we're just enjoying each other and our marriage." Some people knew we were considering IVF but never knew we'd actually done a cycle. So to them I say that "we are still thinking through all our options and timing with our doctor." I know the last one is a bit of a half-truth. But I am very protective of my privacy as well and don't want to let the world know until second trimester. Whatever works for you is just fine.

Drove2u · May 2016

I was at a party Sunday and some girl says to me so you have kids? I said no and she goes "really? I thought I had two" I said nope. None. She goes "you better jump on that bandwagon" this girl has two kids and was very drunk at the party. Honestly if I wasn't pregnant now I don't know how I would've reacted but I just blew it off. So rude though. I also had another person ask me if I was pregnant because I was just drinking iced tea at the party. Lol. I just said no and changed the subject. Like you can't just go and ask people that.

vssbrm · June 2016

@drove2u I feel so self conscience when there is wine around and I am not drinking, it feels like everyone knows!!! I almost want to just carry a glass around with me and pretend.

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