@tgrdance05 you have a very wise aunt! Great post, thanks for that. I find it really exhausting when baby won't sleep but it does help to think of it as an important phase of development. After 3 children I have stopped worrying about most things that I used to be very worried about with my first and some with my second. I follow baby's cues and it has eliminated almost all the stress over milestones and phases (not all but close). I have finally learned that baby will be just fine, I just need to follow her cues and enjoy the time. I just wish I had felt this way with the first two...I would have savored everything and been present in the moment so much more! But I won't mind when her sleep regression is over either
Well, tonight's shaping up to be a real doozy since I haven't even been able to get her TO sleep (been trying since 7) and it's after 10pm. Sigh. I am really, really, eagerly awaiting a return to sleep normalcy, whenever that happens. (And she was never a good sleeper before, but it was better than this!)
@maureenmce I hope you get some sleep tonight! As of 1am, we have already been up 3 times. DS has now been up for an hour and a half. Every time I put him in his crib, his eyes pop open again and he's like 'oh good, it's time to be awake. I love being awake!'
@maureenmce I hope you get some sleep tonight! As of 1am, we have already been up 3 times. DS has now been up for an hour and a half. Every time I put him in his crib, his eyes pop open again and he's like 'oh good, it's time to be awake. I love being awake!'
I'm in the same boat. *sigh*. Shes also fighting a bit of a cold so she just wants snuggles and doesn't want put down. A long night is again in my future.
You guys I thought it was over when he went back to STTN for a week but here we are again. Longest stretch was 2 hours. Loosing the swaddle is tough! He just started rolling back to belly, he hasn't done it at night yet but we have him in a zipadee zip instead of a swaddle and he's ALL over the place! Last night was only the second night... Maybe it'll get better. I hope haha ALSO idk why someone else's picture is showing up as my picture... If that's you I swear I didn't steal a picture of you idk what's going on! Haha
@melindam91 I thought I would NEVER be able to get my guy out of a swaddle we tried one arm out waist down everything and were never even able to get him to fall asleep. The zipadee zip has been a lifesaver! First two nights were rough but last night he did great so hopefully it continues! Plus they look so cute in them! Lol I was hesitant because of the price but I am really impressed on the quality and function of them!
Just wanted to send you ladies some positive vibes! Keep it up, I thought the month+ long sleep regression would never end but it did! Keep it up you can do it!
Just wanted to send you ladies some positive vibes! Keep it up, I thought the month+ long sleep regression would never end but it did! Keep it up you can do it!
Did it just one night end or have you been doing something different? Honestly between her terrible napping and waking up at night I don't know if I can survive much more. If I could even just get her to nap decently I could handle the night time but so far today it is 5:00 PM and she has only had two naps today. One was an hour and one was 20 minutes
@cali1710 I'd love an hour long nap at this point! The only time all weekend DS took a nap longer than 15 minutes was when my mom came to babysit. Then he slept for over 2.5 hours. I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm just making shit up when I complain about his sleeping now. Thanks, kid.
@cali1710, I was at my wits end too He was awful napping and awful sleeping during the regression, would only nap being held otherwise it only lasted 20 mins and usually got up between every 30-90 mins at night depending on the night. And after about a month of that he slowly started stretching out sleep at night again, at first he went to about every 2 hours and then about every 3 and he started napping maybe slightly longer during the day. After he started finally sleeping at least 2-3 hours straight again we did do some sleep training to get rid of negative sleep associations and to make it easier for my husband to get him back to sleep when I work night shifts at the hospital. So I stopped nursing him to sleep, changed his bedtime routine so reading him a book was last thing and got him a muslin security blanket and it took about a week and a half but he started being able to put himself to sleep without nursing or being rocked to sleep. It did involve some CIO, but not extinction where you just leave them be, I did the method where you do what's called progressive checks after hearing from so many coworkers and friends what a lifesaver it was in the long run. Now I put him down after his book and he plays with his blanket for a bit then falls asleep on his own without a fuss which is a miracle from how he used to be. It's not right for everyone but it's specifically designed to get rid of negative sleep associations (aka rocking to sleep, nursing to sleep, having to have their binkie put back in etc) and it worked for us! Now he's only getting up once or twice a night and his naps are usually 1-2.5 hours. But I waited Til he was naturally lengthening his night sleep stretches back out anyways.
@kwentela thanks! She is starting to sleep a bit longer at night but it still takes her 2-3 hours to get her back to sleep. She FIGHTS naps hard. I'm trying not to get more bad habits (we rock her to sleep already) and now that shes waking at night (she went a month with sleeping 10-12 hours) we've been feeding her and I feel its going to get us in trouble but I don't know if shes actually hungry or just eating it anyways. Sign. I want this to end
@cali1710 I'd love an hour long nap at this point! The only time all weekend DS took a nap longer than 15 minutes was when my mom came to babysit. Then he slept for over 2.5 hours. I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm just making shit up when I complain about his sleeping now. Thanks, kid.
Ive only had one, one hour nap. But when ahe was at my parents the other day she slept 2 hours! I too think my parents think I'm lying lol
We're trying some new things here, because I am a wreck. The big one is giving LO five minutes to attempt self-soothing, even if he's crying, before coming in to pick him up. Last night it took him three five-minute periods, but he conked out hard after the last one. He was kind of ramping up and then calming down, not just getting more and more frantic, and I peeked in on him and saw him sucking on his hand and rubbing his cheek, so I feel like he's starting to be able to soothe himself effectively. Then I slept in another room, because I was getting desperate from weeks of not sleeping more than 1-2 hour stretches. My husband sleeps more deeply than I do, so I suspect he just slept through a couple of minor fusses that would have woken me up and had me soothe a baby who was perfectly capable of going to sleep on his own anyway. He brought the babe in to nurse at 5:30, reporting that he just needed a pat and his pacifier twice since his 10:30 dreamfeed, and then LO conked out again until 7 and went down like a dream for his first morning nap. Light at the end of the tunnel? Please?
After SIX weeks of horrible nighttime sleeping, I'm thinking/hoping/praying that the end is near. LO only woke up ONCE last night for the first time since this awful sleep regression started. I don't have it as bad as a lot of you ladies do, so I can't complain too much, but it has still been difficult! Especially because I work full time. At 14 weeks, LO was only waking up 1-2 times a night, and then regressed to about 4-7 times a night. Thankfully, she would only be up for about 15-20 minutes during each of those "wake ups," but the interrupted sleep was killing me. It slowly started improving, and after about four weeks, she was only waking up about three times a night. That has been going on for a couple of weeks now, and then last night, like I said earlier, she only woke up ONCE! It was glorious. I too am probably creating horrible sleep habits because I nurse LO every time she wakes up. It has helped both of us get back to sleep more quickly. I do this for two reasons: 1. I work full time so I don't get to nurse her much during the day... and I miss that time between the two of us. 2. LO is underweight (born in the 75th percentile, and now only in the 8th), and has struggled maintaining a growth curve, so to me, any extra calories are a positive.
@klbh keep us updated please! I'm especially interested in how you're giving LO 5 minutes to self soothe. Ive been thinking of doing the same thing.
On the bright side for me, my LO has decreased from waking up every 30 minutes to about every 1-2 hours. I hope we are slowly coming out of this!! Still having short naps during the day, despite being able to roll onto her tummy now to sleep.
@fishee333 the belly thing was a problem for us during this period at first because she couldn't get back to her back and couldn't self-soothe at all, but would roll anytime we put her down. Just wanted to offer that it's gotten volumes better this week. LO now seems to just be a belly sleeper and doesn't fuss when rolls on her belly right after being put down.
I'm hoping we are at the end....it's been a difficult 5/6 weeks here too LO is only at 1-2 wake ups for the past week. Just turned 20 weeks. From the 3-5 wake ups for weeks on end, this is a godsend. Similar to you @cyanope, I've just made peace with this awful period and did nursing to sleep this entire time for the same reasons with dropping weight percentiles and working full-time.
I'm really sending vibes for everyone on this thread that I've been keeping up with as this level of desperation, exhaustion, and insanity can only be understood by those who are going through it now and recently. I feel like most all of my family or friends glossed over this period or seem to have forgotten being physically and mentally broken to the core and didn't relay the details of how they survived. Or maybe they don't give the warning on purpose? I have a long-distance friend on FB from graduate school that just posted about her 8 week old sleeping 9 hours for the first time last night. I don't want to pop her happy bubble because she might be a lucky duck who doesn't get affected by this sleep regression hell, but part of me just wants to say "just you wait.....".
How is everyone here managing things? Are you just doing whatever you have to like bed sharing if you weren't before or had moved away from bed sharing? Are you holding for naps where you weren't before or had gotten naps to be in the crib? I've seen a few say just going along with the nursing to sleep. Anyone trying to improve things like sleep training or changing things up?
The information is so conflicting! Some day do whatever you have to, others say stay strong, others say make changes I thought I'd see what everyone actually going through it is doing.
We started out with making changes like getting him out of the Swaddle (it was time and we figured his sleep couldn't get any worse so no better time, plus we hoped transferring him to the crib would make things better which we didn't want to do while he was still swaddled), and he didn't do any worse but now after a few days out of the Swaddle (a 2.5 week unswaddling journey...) it's worse and naps went from horrible to worse (20 minutes to 5 or non existant) and the crib last night was horrible (I feel so confused as to whether or not to keep trying). I don't know whether to press on with crib naps and nights and just keep trying (I don't know if my resolve can hold up to the exhaustion tbh) or just give in and hold him. We've only ever bed shared for the last part of the night (5 am until wake up) as he has never slept more than 20 minutes at a time after 5 am unless it's in bed with us, but I'm almost desperate to have him in bed all night with us which has never happened!
Sleep training is an absolute last resort as he is a screamer....I often try to let him work things out on his own if he wakes up at odd times. Sometimes he can fall back to sleep with only a minute or two of crying, but usually he cries for a minute and this progresses to a scream with no letting up. So if this regression lasts until, say 6 months, then we'll do what we have to, but having done some sleep training as a nanny it's something I personally wanted to avoid at all costs with my own kid. No judgement for anyone else whatsoever!!
I am so thankful there are other mamas out there who understand what each other are going through! This is madness!
@Emmymommy123 we've been doing whatever it takes within reason. I nurse or bounce him to sleep and hold him for naps. He does stay in his crib (except for this week, we've done the second half of the night in the rock and play since he has a cold and can breathe better like that.). On really bad nights I've even resorted to holding him at night and just swap out with DH when I couldn't stay awake any longer. We had our 4 month appt today and the doctor gave us the go ahead to start sleep training. There are a lot of different methods, some involve less crying than others. We're going to start with the pick up put down method and go from there. CIO is a last resort for us.
We've been doing whatever we had to as well (nursing to sleep, bouncing, rocking, holding, etc). Trying to keep my little guy from getting more overtired than he already is! We tried the crib a few nights ago for a couple of nights and it was terrible so here's back in our room. He's 20 weeks old and finally gave me a 5 hour stretch last night. He had previously been waking every 1-3 hours. Hoping we are getting to the end!!
@EmmyMommy123 our LO was never into swaddling and has been in her crib sleeping great from week 6 until the regression issues reared their ugly heads full force in week 13, so we didn't have much to transition for her. I had nursed her to drowsy before putting her down before the regression, the only difference is she would go to sleep drowsy before this phase hit. We didn't make any real changes during this time period. I've held her for day time naps for 10-15 minutes and then try to put her down and if she wakes up right then and there, so be it, other times she would stay asleep at least 10-20 minutes more for naps after I set her down. There were days she would fight naps and fuss and fuss, but I kept to just putting her down after 10-15 minutes, even if that was all she got. At night, I kept nursing her to sleep and then put her down. She frequently fussed and we'd let her fuss no more than a couple of minutes and I would go back in and let the boob be the pacifier because she stopped taking a pacifier when this phase came around. There have been many times I wish I could have brought her into bed but we have a pillow top and the mattress sinks and is really cushiony so there is just no way that I am comfortable with that.
For me personally, I just saw this as something to help LO through by being the same and I wasn't going to drive myself even more crazy trying out all sorts of things in a different order on different days. I have an extremely stressful workload and between being a supervisor at work, LO's food source with EBF, and our only income as DH is not working/in school now, I just simply cannot be all things to all people all the time so I was going to stick to the comforts like nursing to sleep that calm her easily. Plus, LO was only 11 lbs, 9 oz at 3 months when she first went into this phase so I figure it was more important to keep nursing even when she was waking every 2 or 3 hours at night because she was eating for quite a bit each time she woke. I don't mind letting her fuss for a few minutes then going in to try and rub her, but if she keeps fussing, the boob it will be. Now if she was worse than she was, I may sing a different tune, but currently, I don't really believe in the idea of sleep training.
It has started to improve, she's now 20 weeks and has gained a good amount of weight through this period so maybe her little brain is just settling down a bit now and getting back into the rhythm she had before the regression.
Weve been doing what we need to do, to an extent. Ive read such conflicting things. Some say time is what they need to get through it. Others say changes need to be made. Were just doing what we can. I rock her. Feed her. Let her lay on me. My dr recommended a nightlight so I may try that tonight.
When did your LOs start the sleep regression? My DD is 18 weeks and is still sleeping the same/waking up the same. She is hitting all other appropriate milestones so I'm worried why she isn't doing this. I am loving the sleep and not looking forward to it, but right now it feels like this impending doom is about to come over us. Anyone else in the same boat?
@ekscopp when I've researched the 4 month wakeful period on Google, I saw a number of polls with people on different sites asking about how long it lasts. Some people said they never noticed any real changes, others said it was only a few days or a week, and so on with others saying weeks and weeks on end. So it could be she may weather whatever developmental changes without you being the wiser? I will say a prayer for that on your behalf
Mine started at exactly 16 weeks. Literally it was 12:15 when she first woke up on week 16. Its week 19 and still going strong. I know some people it started week 18/19 some 13/14. It all varies but if your LO is still sleeping and hitting milestones then count your lucky stars! Had my Lo never atarted sleeping through the night I probably wouldn't have noticed it. But because she was for a solid 4-5 weeks it hit us hard. Praying it ends soon.
@ekscopp we started around 14 weeks. Some people get lucky and skip it entirely. Hopefully you're one of them!
Yep. Same. A friend of our's LO never went through a 4 month regression but they've been hit hard with an 8 month regression.
Apparently there are big time changes with sleep at 4 months, 8-9, 12, and at 2 years. Maybe another one too in between 12 months and 2 years, 18 months possibly. Either way, the 4th is supposed to be the biggest change for babies, but I have also heard that some had it pretty easy at the 4 month mark and then BAM 8-9 months rolled around and it was AWFUL.
Re: 4 month sleep regression
But I won't mind when her sleep regression is over either
Low progesterone
Baby boy born 01/2016
Currently: NTNP
ALSO
idk why someone else's picture is showing up as my picture... If that's you I swear I didn't steal a picture of you idk what's going on! Haha
Low progesterone
Baby boy born 01/2016
Currently: NTNP
Low progesterone
Baby boy born 01/2016
Currently: NTNP
Edit: words are hard
Ugh, I'm sorry. That's the last thing you need.
Our little guy also has a phlegmy cough so when I finally get him back to sleep, his cough wakes him up. So frustrating.
Low progesterone
Baby boy born 01/2016
Currently: NTNP
Ive only had one, one hour nap. But when ahe was at my parents the other day she slept 2 hours! I too think my parents think I'm lying lol
I too am probably creating horrible sleep habits because I nurse LO every time she wakes up. It has helped both of us get back to sleep more quickly. I do this for two reasons:
1. I work full time so I don't get to nurse her much during the day... and I miss that time between the two of us.
2. LO is underweight (born in the 75th percentile, and now only in the 8th), and has struggled maintaining a growth curve, so to me, any extra calories are a positive.
On the bright side for me, my LO has decreased from waking up every 30 minutes to about every 1-2 hours. I hope we are slowly coming out of this!! Still having short naps during the day, despite being able to roll onto her tummy now to sleep.
I'm hoping we are at the end....it's been a difficult 5/6 weeks here too
I'm really sending vibes for everyone on this thread that I've been keeping up with as this level of desperation, exhaustion, and insanity can only be understood by those who are going through it now and recently. I feel like most all of my family or friends glossed over this period or seem to have forgotten being physically and mentally broken to the core and didn't relay the details of how they survived. Or maybe they don't give the warning on purpose? I have a long-distance friend on FB from graduate school that just posted about her 8 week old sleeping 9 hours for the first time last night. I don't want to pop her happy bubble because she might be a lucky duck who doesn't get affected by this sleep regression hell, but part of me just wants to say "just you wait.....".
The information is so conflicting! Some day do whatever you have to, others say stay strong, others say make changes I thought I'd see what everyone actually going through it is doing.
We started out with making changes like getting him out of the Swaddle (it was time and we figured his sleep couldn't get any worse so no better time, plus we hoped transferring him to the crib would make things better which we didn't want to do while he was still swaddled), and he didn't do any worse but now after a few days out of the Swaddle (a 2.5 week unswaddling journey...) it's worse and naps went from horrible to worse (20 minutes to 5 or non existant) and the crib last night was horrible (I feel so confused as to whether or not to keep trying). I don't know whether to press on with crib naps and nights and just keep trying (I don't know if my resolve can hold up to the exhaustion tbh) or just give in and hold him. We've only ever bed shared for the last part of the night (5 am until wake up) as he has never slept more than 20 minutes at a time after 5 am unless it's in bed with us, but I'm almost desperate to have him in bed all night with us which has never happened!
Sleep training is an absolute last resort as he is a screamer....I often try to let him work things out on his own if he wakes up at odd times. Sometimes he can fall back to sleep with only a minute or two of crying, but usually he cries for a minute and this progresses to a scream with no letting up. So if this regression lasts until, say 6 months, then we'll do what we have to, but having done some sleep training as a nanny it's something I personally wanted to avoid at all costs with my own kid. No judgement for anyone else whatsoever!!
I am so thankful there are other mamas out there who understand what each other are going through! This is madness!
We had our 4 month appt today and the doctor gave us the go ahead to start sleep training. There are a lot of different methods, some involve less crying than others. We're going to start with the pick up put down method and go from there. CIO is a last resort for us.
For me personally, I just saw this as something to help LO through by being the same and I wasn't going to drive myself even more crazy trying out all sorts of things in a different order on different days. I have an extremely stressful workload and between being a supervisor at work, LO's food source with EBF, and our only income as DH is not working/in school now, I just simply cannot be all things to all people all the time so I was going to stick to the comforts like nursing to sleep that calm her easily. Plus, LO was only 11 lbs, 9 oz at 3 months when she first went into this phase so I figure it was more important to keep nursing even when she was waking every 2 or 3 hours at night because she was eating for quite a bit each time she woke. I don't mind letting her fuss for a few minutes then going in to try and rub her, but if she keeps fussing, the boob it will be. Now if she was worse than she was, I may sing a different tune, but currently, I don't really believe in the idea of sleep training.
It has started to improve, she's now 20 weeks and has gained a good amount of weight through this period so maybe her little brain is just settling down a bit now and getting back into the rhythm she had before the regression.
Low progesterone
Baby boy born 01/2016
Currently: NTNP