No-Show Shower

trythebleucheese · May 2016

This is my second pregnancy, so when a close friend wanted to throw me a baby shower, I told her absolutely not. She insisted on throwing me a "sprinkle," even against my protests. She eventually got me on board with the idea. The thought behind it was no gifts, just come and play games, eat food, and have fun.

My friend went all out and spent a good deal of money---even when I told her not to---but she only has one mode: all-in. She special ordered a cookie cake (my favorite), and had top-notch decorations. She even handmade us an entire crib sheet set, when her party was gift enough! We kept the guest list to 25 of my closest family, friends, and co-workers. Of course, we didn't think of it at the time, but the date was during Memorial Day weekend. Even so, we got an ok amount of affirmative RSVP's.

I was absolutely devastated today (more for her, than myself) when NO ONE SHOWED UP!!! I mean, not one call or even text of regret. I even messaged a couple of people I'd just spoken to, whom were supposedly going, but got no responses back. Damn, my feelings are hurt. There's no way to sugar coat it, I just feel like absolute shit.

I just want to give the whole world to my amazing friend for doing so much for me. She kept a happy, brave face the whole time, but I know it was just a facade. I can only imagine how let down she must feel. I mean, mine and my husband's own family didn't show! That's pretty shitty, considering many of them didn't even meet my first child until he was many months old. And my husband's family only lives 45 minutes away.

I'm done with this rant. I just wanted to express my hurt anonymously, so as not to stir anything up. Hopefully this depression will blow over once my sweet boy joins the world.

chesterdoodle · May 2016

Im so sorry! That really sucks! It is odd that no one showed, are you sure there wasnt a typo on the invitation or address or something? but honestly dont think twice about it, weddings and babies tend to bring out peoples true colors and helps weed negative people out of your life. Forget them. Focus on the amazing friend who threw the sprinkle for you! And hopefully you got the cookie cake leftovers - that is a win right there!!

gauge1234 · May 2016

I'm so sorry!! I can't believe no one came!! You're lucky to have an amazing friend who was so excited for you

I hope the two of you had fun together.

I think you have a right to be hurt ... It's really hard when people rsvp and then don't come.

Boonhilde · May 2016

Oh that's awful of them! I'm so sorry.

AmberLiz99 · May 2016

I'm so sorry! That stinks! I would be upset too.

i have a sweet friend who also insisted we go out to dinner with a group of friends before baby comes. It's this coming Friday and only 2 people have said they will come. I feel so bad for all the effort she put into organizing when hardly anyone will be there.

ashkee05 · May 2016

Ugh I am so sorry. This makes my heart hurt. Babies sure do bring out true colors. I would be upset as well!!! I am glad you have that amazing friend though!!! She's a keeper!!

mimi_8607 · May 2016

I'm so sorry! That's awful!

alohasoprano · May 2016

So sorry this happened. Something similar happened with my first baby and I know it can be devastating. Try to forgive your family, and if that means you need to let them know how you feel about their behavior in order to get past it, do it. Try not to let it get you down during these last few weeks of your pregnancy.

snowhite12 · May 2016

so sorry this happened

. I got pregnant with my first fresh out of college at 22 and lost many of my college friends. like other PPs said, babies bring out others true colors.

mom2beEbby · May 2016

I am so sorry!!! I pray the depression passes and people contact you with sincere apologies. Your baby will make you smile again

HeartLikeMine3 · May 2016

Ahhhh that is so crappy!!! I had a similar disappointment at my sprinkle as well. We had tons of rsvp's and then the night before half of my friends and family were txting me saying sorry we can't make it. I was hurt because it felt like it didn't matter because it was my second child. I was crying and wanted to just cancel it because there were so few people coming but I couldn't do that to my best friend who had already bought everything. Sorry your sad.

Soverthis · May 2016

That is horrible! I had a similar experience with my wedding shower. It broke my heart. I refused to have any baby showers. People are so cofused why I don't want one. Why would I put myself through that again! I wish I had something to say that could help you feel better. Sometimes people just suck. Hang in there and try to concentrate on the beautiful baby that's on the way.

26pointrunningfor2 · May 2016

Dude, I'm so sorry. I want to come give you a big hug. I had a bunch of friends no show and/or last minute cancel for my shower, and I had to try to hide the fact that I was crying 1/2 hour before. It was a shitty feeling to have just a few no show; I can't imagine an entire shower.
On the bright side, you have one amazing friend in the person who threw the party for you!

MistKeeper · May 2016

People suck. Your baby will be better than the rest of the jerks. ::hugs::

vintagevix2016 · May 2016

@trythebleucheese, I just want to hug you and your wonderful friend!! I know exactly how you feel. I'm so sorry you both had to go through that, it's just such an awful feeling!

ahernandez16 · May 2016

I'm so sorry!

My mom spent a ton on my shower and it was way over the top but I knowingly chose a date so that my MIL could fly in from out of state. It happened to be a weekend all of my friends but one were busy and my husband's step mom and step sisters were mad we invited his mom without consulting them so they didn't come. I mostly felt bad that my mom spent so much money for essentially a "family party" with 2 extra people. It did make me sad, but I knew what I was getting into. I couldn't imagine thinking my friends were going to show and then for them to just ghost like that.

alw12290 · May 2016

I am so sorry for both of you!!! I would be friggin livid to be honest. I had a few people skip out on my shower who rsvp'd yes and I was a little annoyed because my sister still had to pay for their lunch fare. People amaze me at times. I am so so sorry that this was your experience. I have to imagine you were even looking forward to this event and for friends and family to do this to you is just unacceptable.

DeePaddy24 · May 2016

I don't have a whole lot to add, but I just wanted to say that I am so, so sorry.

trythebleucheese · May 2016

Thank you all, for your support! Hugs all around! I feel a little bit better today, after crying into my delicious cookie cake left-overs, LOL! My friend and I went swimming today and let bygones be bygones. I'm sorry for those of you who went through the same thing. No one should ever have to get all built-up and dressed to the 9's, just for no one to show. It makes you feel pathetic. But hey, at least we aren't the jerks. And I did get one apology today by a friend who simply forgot. She has a new baby, and a husband constantly going all over the world for work, so she has every excuse to forget things. I still love her

WinniethePoohsPants · May 2016

That's awful. I'm sorry you're feeling depressed, I would be too :-(

kwife15 · May 2016

I'm so sorry. Glad you are feeling better! You are one classy momma.

TheHauntedHauswife · May 2016

Its quite different but I too had a disappointing shower experience that needed a bit of recovering from. While i had quite a bit of guests, it seemed like they were all there for the wrong reasons. No one talked to me, no one congratulated me, no one asked to touch my belly or how i was feeling. Instead some guests called hosts over to their tables and sent messages over to me that I needed to get up and walk around and talk to everyone. No one seemed to understand that i had just been diagnosed with SPD and could barely walk. My mother had to literally stop the shower and make an announcement to everyone that i was pretty much unable to walk and if the totally able bodied people wanted to talk to me they needed to get their asses up and walk over to the hugely pregnant woman with the splitting pelvis. Yet still literally no one got up and came over to me. This doesnt even touch on the drama with the hosts and the venue and my mother. I have honestly just tried to pretend it didnt happen.

I am so sorry to hear that you too had such a disappointing experience too. Its very sad when others dont seem to want to celebrate this special time with us. Many people whose showers i would not have missed for the world were no-call no-shows as well, and others as i said never even said hello to me. Its sad that your family and friends were not even able to respectfully decline or atleast follow up with their change in attendance. Its very sad how little respect many people have for all the work, time and money that goes into these showers.

GinnyJ2012 · May 2016

What did your family say about not showing up? That is worse the the rest to me.

DeePaddy24 · May 2016

TheHauntedHauswife said:

Its quite different but I too had a disappointing shower experience that needed a bit of recovering from. While i had quite a bit of guests, it seemed like they were all there for the wrong reasons. No one talked to me, no one congratulated me, no one asked to touch my belly or how i was feeling. Instead some guests called hosts over to their tables and sent messages over to me that I needed to get up and walk around and talk to everyone. No one seemed to understand that i had just been diagnosed with SPD and could barely walk. My mother had to literally stop the shower and make an announcement to everyone that i was pretty much unable to walk and if the totally able bodied people wanted to talk to me they needed to get their asses up and walk over to the hugely pregnant woman with the splitting pelvis. Yet still literally no one got up and came over to me. This doesnt even touch on the drama with the hosts and the venue and my mother. I have honestly just tried to pretend it didnt happen.

I am so sorry to hear that you too had such a disappointing experience too. Its very sad when others dont seem to want to celebrate this special time with us. Many people whose showers i would not have missed for the world were no-call no-shows as well, and others as i said never even said hello to me. Its sad that your family and friends were not even able to respectfully decline or atleast follow up with their change in attendance. Its very sad how little respect many people have for all the work, time and money that goes into these showers.

Image: https://tr0l0l.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/kanye-1.jpg

I think the point of this thread is to offer our support to someone who had a rough weekend (& took it all in great stride), not to compare (or attempt to "one up") shower horror stories. I do appreciate how stressful yours was, & I believe many of us offered our support to you when you had your own thread dedicated to it a few months ago. A simple "I'm sorry you had to go through this" would have sufficed.

I don't mean for this to come off as rude, I just really hate when people are having a difficult time & reach out for support, only to get a "I had a bad time, too" remark in return. Support alone goes a long way!