Paternity Leave?

lilyeriksen · May 2016

DH and I were discussing how much time he could/would take off when baby comes. I have no idea what is standard or usual? What are your partners planning on, or if you are STM, what have they done in the past?

Mamax2 · May 2016

DH has to take vacation time, and he can only take 6 consecutive days off at a time. So he will be off for those 6 days, and then go back. He's a manager, so his assistant manager and his district manager both plan to be on call and pitch in if he needs more time. He will go in for a day or 2 after his 6 days, and then take more time off if needed.

doodleoodle · May 2016

When DD was born he took off a month and a half. I think 2 weeks were paid and the rest was unpaid. I was getting maternity leave pay and we had also saved up. I'm not sure what he's going to do this time since I'm a SAHM now... I know he wishes he took more time off with DD so we'll probably start saving now.

cgss11 · May 2016

DH just has his vacation time. I think he said he has 8 days. His company shuts down between Christmas and New Years, so with a December 12 due date, it will work out to be a little extra. Luckily they can be flexible, and he can start his vacation when I actually go into labor, and not just have to guess and potentially waste days.

mattanda2011 · May 2016

With #1 he took off 3 weeks, but his job is commission based and even though he had the vacation saved up we were still bringing in less money so that was the most he get he could do. With #2 he took 1 week off, and we haven't really talked about what he will do this time. We have lots of family around so I would say that plays into him taking less time because we have lots of other help. My guess is this time he will take a week off and then work part time for the rest of the month or something like that. We will see.

penelope4612 · May 2016

I think he'll probably take 2 weeks off and just use vacation time. My mom is nearby so if I'm in desperate need of help after that she can help out.

PharmDMom · May 2016

DH just has to use vacation or sick time. He will probably take about a week off when baby comes then another week around Christmas. He is trying to save as much vacation between now and December as he can.

He he took a week off with both our other kids births and then his parents and my parents came to visit here and there to help me out during the first month. It worked out well.

Christinaruth74 · May 2016

We had an extended hospital stay (6 days). my H had planned to take a week off to be home with me, but wound up using most of those days to be with me in the hospital and then went back to work after a week. Realistically it was fine, but having family and friends set in place to be available was key.

zubenescamali · May 2016

DH was a SAHD/student when DD1 was born and he was essential during the c-section recovery phase (I was in the hospital twice, total of 13 days). For DD2 he took a week off work, and all he did was yard work.
This time, he will probably take a week or two off. Not sure what he will do to "help" this time.

phoenix870509 · May 2016

DH has all of this time off banked that he has to use so he is going to take at least 3 weeks off. His shifts need to be covered and his 3 co workers who can are already talking about who is covering him. His boss is so excited (she found out after our first appointment because I sent him a text with the ultrasound and he was in a meeting with her and went pale. She asked if he was ok and he showed her the photo and she got all excited) and his HR lady has already told him he had better take time off to be with us. If his coworkers can cover his shifts effectively then he'll have 3 uninterrupted weeks off.

mamabirdoftwo · May 2016

Dh has taken a week off with my other 2 and will do the same with this one. He's self employed and makes his own hours so he only works 3 full days and 1 half day a week anyways. But I would love extra time with him!! No vacation pay though and being a sahm he's gotta make that money

A week was really good for us though and it felt nice to start getting into my own routine each time he went back.

karmba · May 2016

DH gets 2 weeks paternity leave with his current job. But he's starting a new job next month and we're not sure what the paternity leave is there. I'm hoping its two weeks - but if not, he'll probably just save as much vacation as he can and use it.

jenkienzle · May 2016

My husband's work allows 3 months of paternity leave, partially paid. He doesn't plan on using it all at once. I think he can spread it out over a year. Luckily he can actually work from home if necessary. I do not have as sweet a deal!

SchruteBucks · May 2016

Me ex-husband took two days off for our two kids (my older two kids). My husband took three weeks of vacation for our daughter and will probably do the same with this one. I have an in-home childcare, so I'll probably only take one week off and then he'll help me with all of the kids the next two weeks.

sbarrettphoto · May 2016

Christinaruth74 said:

We had an extended hospital stay (6 days). my H had planned to take a week off to be home with me, but wound up using most of those days to be with me in the hospital and then went back to work after a week. Realistically it was fine, but having family and friends set in place to be available was key.

Our situation was the same.

SmashJam · May 2016

DH planned to take two weeks off but ended up alternating working from home and going in, basically just letting the office know he may or may not be in depending on how i was. Since I was attempting breast feeding, a lot was just me...there wasn't a whole lot he could do except help soothe when fussy and a bit of play. I honestly wish it was more acceptable to take some time off at first, then go back once they get older and take more time to hang out with them when you are out of that whole hazy post partum stage and they get more of a personality. Do people do that?

tinattt23 · May 2016

@SmashJam Coworker did something like you're talking about. He took 3 days or so when baby was born. His wife took 12 weeks. Then he took 2 more weeks after she went back to work. Also helped them save a little more before paying for daycare.

sourlemon · May 2016

Probably 2 weeks, then work for a week or two before another week between Christmas and new years. He took 1 week last time which worked out fine but he wanted more time with the baby. He felt he didn't bond as much as he could have...but no worries, DD is a complete daddy's girl!

ashleaf2018 · May 2016

We will most likely have to schedule an elective C-section for baby's health, so I would try to do it on a Thursday so FI could have a long weekend with us. Ultimately he can't take too long off work, but I would at least like to have him be off for a week. We have family close by, his parents and grandparents and my grandmother as well as my aunt and uncle and cousins. So I know that if he only gets a couple of days off, I won't be stranded without any help after the C-section. Plus with his line of work, he works 12 hour days so even if he only worked 3 days instead of 4, we'd manage. And then I would go back to work part time after probably after 8-12 weeks.

princesslockness · May 2016

When L was born H stayed home for 2 days (Friday and Monday around the weekend). The next week it was just L, the dogs, and I. We did pretty good, and I went back to work that next Friday. It just worked for us, it might work for someone else.

Mallorysusan · May 2016

My husband is very lucky. His job gives him 6 weeks paid paternity leave in the first year of the baby's life. He can take up to 12 weeks total without anyone putting up a fight, and use vacation to cover the other 6 weeks if he wants. It will be so nice to have him around after the babe is born and since he works retail, I can tell he is excited to not be at work during the majority of the holiday season

bailando.bebe · May 2016

My husband took 3 weeks off and it was the perfect amount of time to bond and handle all of the initial family and friends visits together, and by the end of the third week I was ready to find/handle my own routine with the babe. He was not necessarily ready to go back to work unfortunately haha. I didn't have a C-section and my labour was quick and smooth so I wasn't too dependant on him.

this time he will for sure take 2 weeks and possible the third if a section is involved.

em01092 · May 2016

My DH will probably only be able to take off a few days. Maybe a week at most using PTO. He doesn't get very many days off. I have other family that will be on call to help out as needed. He could take FMLA but we really want to avoid that if at all possible since it's unpaid, and legal or not, it's frowned upon for people to use in his company. They obviously can't fire you or anything, but managers with FMLA time are often passed over for promotions, but of course they blame it on something else.

Kacie209 · May 2016

DH and I haven't really talked about this yet, and I don't even know if his company does paternity leave (it's really small and I know the maternity leave isn't great). But, he has the option to work from home, if necessary so I am sure he would be able to do that if he chose to. I am sure his boss would give him some time though, they're really close. Even if he could take 2-3 days, I think that would be fine. With the baby due in December, I can always have my mom help out (if needed) during Christmas Break (she works for the schools).

brittnic86 · May 2016

I think he's saving up all of his PTO, and hoping to take two weeks off.

Side note: My job actually happens to offer paternity leave...too bad the amount of time they offer is the same as they offer for maternity leave, 2 weeks.

slartybartfast · June 2016

DH shocked me this week. He has been fighting for a career position for a while and has been filling the time void by teaching adjunct at the university here. Well, he got a great offer and turned it down. It was consulting and they are expected to work 45-50 hours a week as a baseline. There was also a substantial travel component. I never thought he would turn it down but he just couldn't see being the family man he wants to be with a schedule like that. We don't need the money, my job pays more than enough for us to live and save. So we'll see what the future brings for him but he's definitely father first and isn't willing to put up with the crazy US consulting environment to jeopardize that. I feel grateful and shocked.

dmontgo · June 2016

DH is a full-time student and works for our friend part time, so when baby is born he will have just started a month-long vacation until school starts up again. He can do his work from home, too. I work from home so I will probably take 2 weeks off starting when baby is born. We had always joked about not having a baby in December, but I think logistically it's the best time since business is slow and vacations are imminent for everyone.

JEM525 · June 2016

I think my DH will take the first week off my mom will come in for a week and then he will take another week. It will be nice to have the baby around the holidays Because DH usually takes two weeks off then. We will probably wait to figure it all out once baby is born.

LinziLoo09 · June 2016

DH only took like a week off when DD was born. He has a managerial role for technicians that go into people's homes, though, so he was able to work from home and just field calls for a bit too. I'm hoping he can at least be home in some capacity for 2-3 weeks after the birth. Hopefully with Christmas and New Years, we won't have too much of a financial bump there. I wish it could be longer, but we're both working on vacation time.

maamawaabangi · June 2016

Mine gets 2 weeks paid. It's very helpful!
If people offer to bring meals I generally like them to come after he goes back to work... As he can hold down the kitchen just fine, and after helps me much more.

FitTris · June 2016

My DH works for the Gov't so, his leave is his leave and they can't really do much about forcing him to work

He took off 6 weeks with #1 and 4 weeks with #2. Since this babe will fall over the holidays, I think he will be able to take at least 4 weeks if he saves up enough sick leave. I am grateful because it will be over DS 1's winter break from school. Once he goes back to work, we'll be on a schedule of DS1 5 days a week, DS 2, 3 days a week and i'll have time with the babe

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