I'm back after a little break. I am currently at 9DPO. I had a triggering even this week that I am struggling with.
*TW: child mentioned*
My youngest just turned 3 and climbed out of her crib after nap Tuesday. So, obviously, to keep her safe it's time to move her to a toddler bed. I know this logically. But here is the thing, her room has been out nursery since 2010 and I am just crushed that the crib is down and put away. I needed it up for my sanity. I need to see that crib there waiting for our next baby. I know it makes no sense for my kids to share a room when there is no baby for the nursery, but shit, I am so worked up over this inside my head. This isn't how it's supposed to be. I don't feel done. DH doesn't feel done. What the hell, universe. I am in such a bad headspace right now.
DD1 born 5/24/10.
Missed M/C at 14 wks Feb 2012.
DD2 born 5/14/13.
Missed M/C at 9 wks July 2015.
Me: 40, DH: 35 / Married: 2009; TTC #1: 2013
2013 - 2015: 5 pregnancies —> 5 miscarriages
TTCAL with RE (RPL specialist): February 2016
2016: 3 medicated TI cycles —> 3 medicated IUI cycles: All BFN
Donor Egg IVF Transfer: May 1, 2017
May 11, 2017: BFP!! Beta #1: 449.1, Beta #2: 844, Beta #3: 1714
EDD: 1/17/18, it's a GIRL! E. L. A. born 12/7/2017