October 2016 Moms

WTF Wednesday (May 25)

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Re: WTF Wednesday (May 25)

  • @LMNOBaby I had sort of the same come to Jesus moment with her yesterday after she had left the house in frustration, via text, because if I try to have any kind of serious conversation face to face, I cry and can't talk. Stupid. 

    She understands and reassured me that they were my friends too, just that it's healthy to do separate things sometimes. And while I agree, it's harder to agree when I have nothing really separate to do. And it's hard for me to talk about how the move has affected me, when the move was my idea to be closer to family for help. So I know people here, they just aren't girl friends. She's a fantastic partner and really takes time and effort (maybe not always in the moment) to think about how things make me feel and take consideration into not hurting me. I really appreciate that about her, but I also am not trying to control her to the point of saying "you can't go play because I don't have anyone to play with either." We will work through it, as always, but yesterday was really hard. Pregnancy has definitely amplified every emotion that I feel. I really appreciate having you ladies to get it out too, and somewhat understand. 
  • I just want to wear a sign that says "I'm pregnant, I feel EVERYTHING, watch what you say!"

    One minute I'm laughing, the next I'm crying, then I'm angry, then I'm laughing again - and through it all, I keep thinking about how hungry I am.
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  • suzy311suzy311 member
    edited May 2016
    @sjo&thetwins I can relate a little bit - about 8 years ago I moved 3 hours away from my family and friends to be with DH. I didn't know anyone that wasn't through him. He included me when he went out with his friends, but they were "his friends" and from time to time he needed to just go out with them. Which, fine, but I felt really alone. And I wanted friends that were "our" friends, not just me tagging along. Like PPs have said it does get better over time - I did find a good group of women through work, and together my husband & I have met other couples that are truly friends with both of us. I'm sure it's hard right now, but you will get through it. And soon you'll have your girls!

    @LMNOBaby It looks like we did the opposite move - I moved from central NJ to upstate NY for my husband! I love it up here but I do miss Jersey <3

    I am feeling a little isolated now because none of my local friends are pregnant or have kids. They are very understanding but I feel like my life is just...different. Which I'm thrilled about obviously, but it is an adjustment. Here's hoping Meetup.com comes through!

    ETA: forgot a word
    Pregnancy Ticker

  • LGW2015 said:
    WTF Wednesday ticker change people! There can't just be 3-4 of us :( it makes me sad.
    My ticker changed! I'm just a mobile user so it's really difficult for me to participate by typing in all the info. My baby's the size of a banana.
  • Where are ya'll from in upstate NY? I grew up in New Paltz!
  • @Kathleenkat and @suzy311 - I'm from way up there, near the lakes!  Grew up in Rochester, NY but all my extended family lives in Buffalo, which is actually where I dragged my husband to have our wedding last year!  I was like, I'll live in Jersey with you, but we're getting married in NY!
  • So my future MIL is in town along with my future SIL, visiting for the week from MA. Well there is already some tension with the future MIL because every time my FI and I get in an argument he goes running to her and of course all she gets is HIS side (naturally). My FI and I have a strict rule that we don't go to friends and family when we have an issue so that we maintain the integrity of our relationship and out of respect for each other. He broke that rule with his Mom about six months ago and I was furious with the two of them. It is one thing if she listens to him but another when she gives him "advice" on things she knows not the full story of. Anyway, he promised me it wouldn't happen again and he went and did it last week just a few days before she arrived. I was really upset with the both of them and basically had to swallow it since she was visiting. Anyway, she has only been to visit us once this entire week but has visited his brother three times already. Well then I overhear a conversation about "getting pictures done" so I ask my FI what that's all about. He says "Oh, I have no idea, Mom wants a picture of all the grandkids together and I guess she is making an appointment or something". I just say ok well it would be nice if I was included since she wants my two there as well as his four and I am the one who makes our whole calendar and would need to get everyone ready. I then get a message yesterday from his sister, "We have an appt at 1:00 on Saturday at such and such place at the mall". Not a SINGLE person asked me if we have plans, told me what they are to wear, etc. Not to mention that I do not have ANY "posed" photo studio/mall type pictures of my kids in my house because I just don't like them and neither do my kids. We have friends that are photographers and all of ours are very intimate, candid and not formal in any way. My son is 8 and has what is called "Hyper-Sensitivity" so he is not good at all with situations where he has to sit and be posed or in the spotlight which is another reason we don't do this. I just think it is insanely inconsiderate to tell me nothing then message me to be at some mall photo place a half hour from our house. Would anyone else be perturbed? I honestly don't even want my kids to go, it is just going to be stressful on me and my son but that will just make me the bad guy. UGH
  • So my future MIL is in town along with my future SIL, visiting for the week from MA. Well there is already some tension with the future MIL because every time my FI and I get in an argument he goes running to her and of course all she gets is HIS side (naturally). My FI and I have a strict rule that we don't go to friends and family when we have an issue so that we maintain the integrity of our relationship and out of respect for each other. He broke that rule with his Mom about six months ago and I was furious with the two of them. It is one thing if she listens to him but another when she gives him "advice" on things she knows not the full story of. Anyway, he promised me it wouldn't happen again and he went and did it last week just a few days before she arrived. I was really upset with the both of them and basically had to swallow it since she was visiting. Anyway, she has only been to visit us once this entire week but has visited his brother three times already. Well then I overhear a conversation about "getting pictures done" so I ask my FI what that's all about. He says "Oh, I have no idea, Mom wants a picture of all the grandkids together and I guess she is making an appointment or something". I just say ok well it would be nice if I was included since she wants my two there as well as his four and I am the one who makes our whole calendar and would need to get everyone ready. I then get a message yesterday from his sister, "We have an appt at 1:00 on Saturday at such and such place at the mall". Not a SINGLE person asked me if we have plans, told me what they are to wear, etc. Not to mention that I do not have ANY "posed" photo studio/mall type pictures of my kids in my house because I just don't like them and neither do my kids. We have friends that are photographers and all of ours are very intimate, candid and not formal in any way. My son is 8 and has what is called "Hyper-Sensitivity" so he is not good at all with situations where he has to sit and be posed or in the spotlight which is another reason we don't do this. I just think it is insanely inconsiderate to tell me nothing then message me to be at some mall photo place a half hour from our house. Would anyone else be perturbed? I honestly don't even want my kids to go, it is just going to be stressful on me and my son but that will just make me the bad guy. UGH
    THIS. My in laws do crap like this all. the. time!!!! 
    They decided they wanted to take family photos on the beach during a long weekend. I had not packed anything photo-worthy because our only plans were to sit on the beach and chill out. Then they decided that morning to do it after breakfast. Well the only thing I had on that morning was a bathing suit and my tshirt and shorts. AKA NOT feeling cute or photogenic. And being pregnant, I'm not trying to take pictures where I don't at least attempt to look decent. I ended up being able to get out of the pictures....they just did the parents and siblings without us "married in people." I was so mad that they would just decide to do that on a whim without any warning. 

    Thats just one of MANY examples of things we get informed of last minute without them considering that we may have something else going on or have other ideas. They also love to tell us that we're all going to dinner....in half an hour. And will guilt trip us for days if we don't go. BUT they always think my hubs will have no problem help them with everything from fixing their internet to planning a trip. UGHHHHHH. 
    Me:33
    DH: 34
    Married: May 2011
    TTC #1: May 2015
    DS: 10/20/2016
    TTC #2: June 2019
    #2 EDD: 2/20/2020
  • @ibabyloveb87 UGH I hate that sort of thing! I think part of the issue is my FI was single for so long with his kids that he would just show up wherever they told him to and when they told him to. Well sorry but it doesn't work that way with me in the picture! 

    At least they don't live here and I am just dealing with this temporarily! The worst part is that we end up being the "bad guy" as the spouse all the time!
  • LMNOBaby said:
    I just want to wear a sign that says "I'm pregnant, I feel EVERYTHING, watch what you say!"

    One minute I'm laughing, the next I'm crying, then I'm angry, then I'm laughing again - and through it all, I keep thinking about how hungry I am.
    You just summarized my life. 
    DS#1 born 05 October 2016
    DS#2  due 25 April 2019
  • @ladyshark311 yeahhhh....mine live in town so I'm stuck with it allllllllll the time! Haha oh well. I learn to grin and bear it most of the time. 
    Me:33
    DH: 34
    Married: May 2011
    TTC #1: May 2015
    DS: 10/20/2016
    TTC #2: June 2019
    #2 EDD: 2/20/2020
  • WTF to the coworker who was finishing washing her hands when I was walking into a bathroom stall, and decided to have a conversation with me leaning against my stall door while I was trying to do my business. Lady, I'm pregnant, I ate lunch an hour ago, and I have got to poop! She finally walked out when it got awkward because wasn't flushing or making any noise.
    BFP#1: 2/10/16
    EDD: 10/19/16

    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
  • My inlaws live in town, both sets (his parents divorced and remarried). They have become annoying as hell, especially the mothers. They paid no attention to me whatsoever until I became pregnant. Now it's constant pestering, questions, etc etc about the baby and no regards for anything else in my life. His mom even said she was so proud of me for being pregnant, and I got grossly offended because I 1. Just landed a new job and 2. Just graduated with my master's degree. But nooo, unprotected sex with my husband is something to be proud of, and work constantly invading my privacy over. Every time I see them it is constant discussion about my womb. Ugh.
  • WTF to the coworker who was finishing washing her hands when I was walking into a bathroom stall, and decided to have a conversation with me leaning against my stall door while I was trying to do my business. Lady, I'm pregnant, I ate lunch an hour ago, and I have got to poop! She finally walked out when it got awkward because wasn't flushing or making any noise.
    I hate when people talk in bathrooms. Just because the stalls are bare minimum, doesn't mean I don't want some privacy to take a shit.
  • Ha ha, once at my work (college) there was one girl waiting for another girl sitting on a table just talking to her and it was clear the one in the stall was pooping. She was talking very candidly, "I'll be a while because we ate at that Mexican place last night," and they didn't even seem to know each other that well because they didn't know things like each others' hometowns. I couldn't imagine being either of those people.

    My random: we had tornadoes in our area today so my mum and I were hiding out in the back of a Target. The tornado was right next to us, but luckily didn't hit us.


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