BTDTs: What are you doing differently this time?

hey_clever_girl · May 2016

Hi BTDT mamas! Jude is baby #2 for me, and I'm already planning to do some different things this time around. I was curious to see what you were doing differently this time that maybe you didn't do with your last child (or last few children).

My changes this time around are being more proactive about seeking a med-free birth, creating a playlist for labor & delivery with tons of songs to help keep me focused and motivated, I'm planning on trying harder at breastfeeding (we'll see how that goes), and I'm planning to put together a "thank you" basket for our nurses while we're in the hospital. Just something to pack with snacks & goodies to show our appreciation.

AnnaS930 · May 2016

Yes! I was thinking to myself when I read your title "not a damn thing different here!" but really there are a few things. I definitely want to pack some good snacks in my hospital bag (I didn't last time and didn't eat for much of my hospital stay as the vegetarian options were just not appealing). I did have my in-laws bring me some candy and doritos.. I'm a good stress eater so those were good munchies. I also really meant to make cookies for the nurses and never did, so hopefully will bring in a goody basket this time, or if not.. have a family member pick up a couple boxes of munchkins and a box o joe for them while I'm there!

Haven't thought of much else yet, but looking for inspiration from others!

Sporty1216 · May 2016

My main thing I want to do differently is chill the "eff" out. I read a million books, thought I had to get my lo on the perfect eating/sleeping/"playing" schedule, etc. I stressed myself out so much, when I could have just enjoyed baby snuggles. This time, my motto is going to be "roll with it!"

hey_clever_girl · May 2016

AnnaS930 said:

Yes! I was thinking to myself when I read your title "not a damn thing different here!" but really there are a few things. I definitely want to pack some good snacks in my hospital bag (I didn't last time and didn't eat for much of my hospital stay as the vegetarian options were just not appealing). I did have my in-laws bring me some candy and doritos.. I'm a good stress eater so those were good munchies. I also really meant to make cookies for the nurses and never did, so hopefully will bring in a goody basket this time, or if not.. have a family member pick up a couple boxes of munchkins and a box o joe for them while I'm there!

Haven't thought of much else yet, but looking for inspiration from others!

Those all sound like great ideas! That's also what I was hoping with the thread, some "Oh snap that's a great idea!" Type things to share! I also didn't think of packing snacks with my first, so that's DEFINITELY gonna change this time lol.

hey_clever_girl · May 2016

Sporty1216 said:

My main thing I want to do differently is chill the "eff" out. I read a million books, thought I had to get my lo on the perfect eating/sleeping/"playing" schedule, etc. I stressed myself out so much, when I could have just enjoyed baby snuggles. This time, my motto is going to be "roll with it!"

Amen to that! I feel so much more prepared, emotionally, this time.

PSUBecky23 · May 2016

Not stress so much about BFing and weight gain. Remember - that for their to be percentiles, someone has to be on the lower end; that there are other indications of a thriving baby besides weight gain; that supplementing is OK; that spending all day in bed with baby is OK; etc, etc.

UnwritteN12 · May 2016

I honestly never thought of the goody baskets,for the nurses! What a great idea!!

Similar to @runningisrad, I'm going to try harder to breastfeed.

I also plan to actually sleep. Last time everyone said "Sleep when the babies sleep". Funniest thing I had ever heard as that was the only time that I could find to get anything around the house done. I'm hoping that, this time around, I'll remember that those things can wait and that I need to rest more than I need to do that load of laundry or clean the kitchen.

I have to say too, I'm glad to no longer be a FTM. I felt like I had to do everything perfect and that I had to take everyone's opinions and suggestions into account. I fully intend on not caring about my family's or in-law's opinions and suggestions this time around. You don't like it? Take a hike. I'm finding it very freeing.

618mom22boys · May 2016

The only thing I'm really doing different is telling my in-laws not to come to the hospital the day of the birth. With my last they were in my room before I even was doing getting stiched up from the c/s.

Sarafuss · May 2016

As far as L&D I am more focused on my experience with baby right after birth. With my first two I let them take my baby away shortly after birth to weigh them and all that. After a traumatic birth with my third I am going to be vocal about not taking baby away, breastfeeding right away, skin-to-skin for an hour or so, etc. Thankfully my hospital has a policy in place for this now so it shouldn't be hard to get what I want assuming baby is doing fine. We are not having any visitors for the first day in the hospital. We normally have family come up about 2 hours after birth when I'm moved to a recovery room but it is so crazy with nurses checking on me and the baby in that first day, I don't want the chaos of family crammed into my small hospital room. We will send pictures and all that but we need our space to bond with the baby as it will be an emotional day for us.

As far as baby goes I'm hoping breastfeeding goes well again and the only thing that I can think of that we will be doing differently is that we are cloth diapering (and using some disposables while out of the house).

rfrazier611 · May 2016

Oh man, I'm doing soooo many things differently! This time I'm actually going to prep tons of freezer meals (already have ingredients for 12 lasagnas!), get an epidural, only have my husband in the delivery room, and get my newborn checked for tongue and lip tie immediately. I'm also planning on kicking my husband into the guest bedroom so baby and I can cosleep for the first couple weeks and I can nurse lying down. Not enough room for 3 of us in the bed! AND we already have in-house grandma help scheduled for the last week of August through the end of September. I'm really hoping we'll have less chaos this time around!

AnnaS930 · May 2016

Last time I didn't want any help.. not even really from my husband. This time I will welcome some visitors, they can hold the baby so I can get 1-on-1 time with my son, or take my son out for little adevntures, or just visit with all of us.

Also really really trying not to stress over baby weight gain (and every tiny thing)... but I still stress over my 17 monther's weight so I'm not really sure if that's reasonable.. but a girl can TRY!

ivassaq · May 2016

1. Birth in a different position - I spent 95% of my last labor on my hands and knees, which was awesome and productive. The second I arrived at the birth center I was ready to push, hopped in the pool, and then went in a reclining position. Looking back, I'm not sure if the pool was the best place and i'm wondering if I should have stayed with hands and knees.

2. Delayed cord clamping. I have no recollection of when or who cut the cord.

3. Less militant about calling people after baby comes. Last time I was adamant that I was not going to spend the first hours of my baby's life on my phone. I had a close friend notify my extensive family. My mom wasn't very impressed by the move and looking back I feel like an ass. This time around, I'll call my parents personally and they can spread he word as they see fit.

4. Try to be less freaked out if my milk takes a while to come in. Or better yet, try some different techniques to get it to come in faster. I was miserable last go around when my milk took its sweet time to arrive. In the end I had a great experience breastfeeding but throat first few days were stressful.

schuberta · May 2016

Right after DS was born, I didn't take advantage of breastfeeding during that golden hour because I was still so starstruck by the whole experience--so I plan to try to breastfeed right away this time. Should hopefully be easier since I actually know how, now! Also, I won't eat! Ugh. My nurse suggested I eat something before we started the induction, so I had a grilled cheese sandwich. That thing was the worst mistake of my life--SO MUCH reflux and then tons of super-acidic vomit. This time I will be extremely careful with eating prior to labor!

Side note: are 'thank you' nurse baskets a really common thing?? I've never heard of this. It feels like one more thing added to a never-ending list of stuff I'm destined to forget.

mhilpisch10 · May 2016

I think with #3 I will focus less on trying to get a huge stash of frozen breastmilk. My first breastfeeding experience was terrible, so the second time around I kept thinking I needed so much milk stored up. Breastfeeding ended up going so much better it got so old I never even used it! If breastfeeding is going as it should I really only need a little breastmilk stored up.
I'm thinking with 3 under 3 I may be calling in for more help this time around. Asking people to take the boys for a few hours here and there. I want to be able to focus on the newborn.

marajay6 · May 2016

The first time around most things went smoothly and there isn't really much that I would do differently. I will probably start pumping earlier to increase supply and build a larger stash. I didn't have any major supply issues, but once I went back to work and had to pump my supply couldn't keep up. It led to poor weight gain around 4-5 months, introducing solids slightly earlier than planned (shortly after 5 months versus 6 months), and supplementing with formula at 6 months.

mrsvoorhees-2 · May 2016

I plan to not worry so much when we have to deal with forceful letdown while nursing. Have any of you dealt with this? I'm wondering if since I had it with my first, that's just my body and it will do it this time too?

PSUBecky23 · May 2016

@mrsvoorhees did you try laid back nursing at all? I didn't have that problem but I know that position is supposed to help.

SuperFudge00 · May 2016

I plan on EP breastfeeding. My milk took forever and then I didn't produce enough. I was so determined that I trusted that my body would figure it out. My son ended up losing a pound in the first week and ended up back in the hospital for bili-therapy for jaundice. I immediately started formula feeding and pumped what I could so he got some of the benefits. My son was quickly back on track and was/is consistently in the 90+ percentiles for everything. But I had so much guilt. SO MUCH GUILT. I still tear thinking about my poor hungry baby.

When I started pumping I found that on a good day I produced 8oz total. I'm hoping that this time my supply will be more bountiful, but I will be measuring to make sure and I will FF as soon as it's necessary.

rn1stbae · May 2016

Yes! Thank you baskets are awesome for nurses and we love them!! I can't tell you how many times I've worked a 12 hour shift and because of my patients status not been able to eat anything but bites of crap here and there or a quick chug of water. Especially on nights because the cafeterias aren't open all the time. A lot of people bring donuts and cookies. While those are great we freak when people bring fruit baskets and juice. Fruit is cheap and it's easy to throw a bunch of apples, pears, oranges, clementines in a basket with a thank you. Trust me, we share who brought the goods when there ARE snacks. Also, maybe don't bring homemade stuff. Most of the time we don't know what your home status is like and while it's nice we tend not to eat the home baked goods.

mommytimesfour · May 2016

This is number 3 for me and I feel like I naturally become more relaxed with each kid. I really learned from baby #1 to #2 to stop stressing and actually enjoy the newborn stage, even when it's stressful and exhausting. It sounds so cliche but the days are long and the years FLY BY.

MrsCourtney555 · May 2016

Banning my in laws from the hospital until I'm ready for them to be there! Since apparently MIL doesn't listen and she walked in my room while I was getting out of the tub and got to see me in my full frontal glory

camichael84 · May 2016

Well, we have plan to make sure DH has enough socks and underwear for the hospital stay (he only packed one pair of of underwear and no socks last time).

I plan to wear this LO more than I did DD.

I want DH to get pictures of the baby and I in the delivery room this time. I made him leave me out of all the pics last time (until we got to the postpartum room), and I regret that.

Going to have a freezer stash this time... this is mainly for my daughter's sake. We didn't eat great the weeks after she was born, and I want her to have her normal food habits while I'm recovering and we are adjusting to the new baby.

I'm also going to have lactation cookies made and ready to take to the hospital with us. I had supply issues in the beginning last time that I'm trying to get a head start on this time.

mrsvoorhees-2 · May 2016

@PSUBecky23 I did. I tried everything. Pulling her off and putting a towel over until letdown ended helped, but it just took her getting older to really fix it. Then it was awesome because it took 5 min to feed her

TheTamedShrew · May 2016

More pictures. I was so afraid of how I looked after a 36 hour labor and as a result I have not one single picture that I can find of me holding E in the hospital.

More vocal about my desires/needs during birth. I was afraid to ask questions and break protocol during the whole experience. I feel much more equipped to advocate for myself this time.

The gift basket is a great idea!

I really want to get the hang of baby wearing.

I'm not stressing about the nursery or buying unnecessary items this time around.

I am going to make a big effort to get out of the house every day in those first few months. I remember being so afraid to BF in public or have a screaming baby on my hands that I stayed home a lot, and it made me so stir crazy.

hey_clever_girl · May 2016

PSUBecky23 said:

Not stress so much about BFing and weight gain. Remember - that for their to be percentiles, someone has to be on the lower end; that there are other indications of a thriving baby besides weight gain; that supplementing is OK; that spending all day in bed with baby is OK; etc, etc.

yesss. Convincing my husband of this might be different. He was so worried with our daughter about her weight gain!

hey_clever_girl · May 2016

UnwritteN12 said:

I honestly never thought of the goody baskets,for the nurses! What a great idea!!

Similar to @runningisrad, I'm going to try harder to breastfeed.

I also plan to actually sleep. Last time everyone said "Sleep when the babies sleep". Funniest thing I had ever heard as that was the only time that I could find to get anything around the house done. I'm hoping that, this time around, I'll remember that those things can wait and that I need to rest more than I need to do that load of laundry or clean the kitchen.

I have to say too, I'm glad to no longer be a FTM. I felt like I had to do everything perfect and that I had to take everyone's opinions and suggestions into account. I fully intend on not caring about my family's or in-law's opinions and suggestions this time around. You don't like it? Take a hike. I'm finding it very freeing.

I found the basket idea on Pinterest! And I agree on all counts. My daughter will be back in school once Jude gets here, so I will see her off and then SLEEP when he does. I'm also glad not to be a FTM again. I feel much more prepared this time.

hey_clever_girl · May 2016

618mom22boys said:

The only thing I'm really doing different is telling my in-laws not to come to the hospital the day of the birth. With my last they were in my room before I even was doing getting stiched up from the c/s.

I wish I could do this with mine. I love them but they're over-bearing. They're responsible for our older daughter, and we've already made it clear to them that SHE is the first person besides doctors who gets to meet the baby. My MIL was not happy with this, but whatev. Suck it up.

hey_clever_girl · May 2016

RN1stBae said:

Yes! Thank you baskets are awesome for nurses and we love them!! I can't tell you how many times I've worked a 12 hour shift and because of my patients status not been able to eat anything but bites of crap here and there or a quick chug of water. Especially on nights because the cafeterias aren't open all the time. A lot of people bring donuts and cookies. While those are great we freak when people bring fruit baskets and juice. Fruit is cheap and it's easy to throw a bunch of apples, pears, oranges, clementines in a basket with a thank you. Trust me, we share who brought the goods when there ARE snacks. Also, maybe don't bring homemade stuff. Most of the time we don't know what your home status is like and while it's nice we tend not to eat the home baked goods.

Good to know! I remember hearing somewhere that nurses got junk food all the time and that healthy alternatives were always welcome. I think I'm planning to do mostly fruits, maybe some granola bars, a couple bottled coffees, and maybe some candy but mostly healthier stuff.

hey_clever_girl · May 2016

camichael84 said:

Well, we have plan to make sure DH has enough socks and underwear for the hospital stay (he only packed one pair of of underwear and no socks last time).

I plan to wear this LO more than I did DD.

I want DH to get pictures of the baby and I in the delivery room this time. I made him leave me out of all the pics last time (until we got to the postpartum room), and I regret that.

Going to have a freezer stash this time... this is mainly for my daughter's sake. We didn't eat great the weeks after she was born, and I want her to have her normal food habits while I'm recovering and we are adjusting to the new baby.

I'm also going to have lactation cookies made and ready to take to the hospital with us. I had supply issues in the beginning last time that I'm trying to get a head start on this time.

Ohhh I love the pre-made lactation cookies!!! I may have to steal that.

hey_clever_girl · May 2016

TheTamedShrew said:

More pictures. I was so afraid of how I looked after a 36 hour labor and as a result I have not one single picture that I can find of me holding E in the hospital.

More vocal about my desires/needs during birth. I was afraid to ask questions and break protocol during the whole experience. I feel much more equipped to advocate for myself this time.

The gift basket is a great idea!

I really want to get the hang of baby wearing.

I'm not stressing about the nursery or buying unnecessary items this time around.

I am going to make a big effort to get out of the house every day in those first few months. I remember being so afraid to BF in public or have a screaming baby on my hands that I stayed home a lot, and it made me so stir crazy.

Yes to all, ESPECIALLY being more vocal about needs during birth.

schuberta · May 2016

MrsVoorhees said:

I plan to not worry so much when we have to deal with forceful letdown while nursing. Have any of you dealt with this? I'm wondering if since I had it with my first, that's just my body and it will do it this time too?

I had a forceful letdown, but I think like you said in your other comment, it's just something baby has to learn how to handle on their own. I felt guilty when my son would choke, so I did the same stuff (laid back nursing, letdown into a towel) but it didn't improve until he got older and figured it out himself. Weirdly, I had a much more forceful letdown with my left boob, so I also made sure not to let that one get too full and to express a little before latching him on.

ruemcclanahan · May 2016

Okay BTDT moms.....what is letdown??? I Googled it and I still don't understand what it is.

PSUBecky23 · May 2016

Megan324 said:

Okay BTDT moms.....what is letdown??? I Googled it and I still don't understand what it is.

It's the release of your milk when you're BFing. You get a weird tingling feeling in your whole breast.

ruemcclanahan · May 2016

@PSUBecky23 I swear all the explanations were so confusing lol that's so simple...

ruemcclanahan · May 2016

@PSUBecky23 thank you!

PSUBecky23 · May 2016

And not everyone feels the letdown so don't worry if you don't.

mrsvoorhees-2 · May 2016

@Megan324 baby starts sucking and gets a little milk, and then your breasts "letdown" and the milk starts flowing. However, mine would spray. Like across the room. And DD would choke and scream and throw a shit-fit and it stressed me out and made NIP a huge pain. But she got older and could handle how fast it came and then it was a wonderful thing because it made her eat so fast!

noelani42 · May 2016

Same with you @marajay6 - I will also start pumping sooner...also I hope not to be so stuck on the baby's schedule....I'm going to try to go with the flow much more...

Trgree1712 · May 2016

I am not going to stress so much about breast feeding. I found out that having an under active thyroid makes it much more difficult to breast feed. I am going to do what I can and supplement and not be so hard on myself.

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