Mom's who already have 2 or more kiddos

JessWeck · May 2016

Momma's,

How did you find the transition from 2 to 3 children or more? I currently have a 4 year old and a 2 year old, and am expecting baby #3 in January. I am nervous to say the least about the changes a 3rd child will bring. Did you find your transition easier, harder, or the same going from 2 to 3 or more then you did going from 1 to 2?

mommywesley · May 2016

We found the most difficult transition was from 1 to 2, and the easiest was 3 to 4

3 is tricky because you guys are outnumbered now! But I don't remember it being as hard as when we first had 2

GhanimaAtreides · May 2016

1 to 2 was the hardest.

By the 3rd, I had 8 & 5 year old little helpers.

Now I'll have 15, 12, and 6 year old helpers.

Really, after two kids, it just gets easier.

MrsF. · May 2016

Totally agree transition from 1 to 2 was definitely the most difficult! We're expecting our fifth and it only gets better☺

brittneybea · May 2016

My oldest is 5 and he was amazing. He was so excited for his baby sister. The transition from 1 to 2 was great. I am completely worried for #3. Since my youngest is barely turning 1 next month.

sjanish · May 2016

I echo the other ladies. 1 to 2 was hardest. 2 to 3 was much easier!

Briala · May 2016

What made the 1 to 2 transistion so much more difficult? Any advice would be helpful

this baby will be our 2nd

missnickss · May 2016

This is going to be my 3rd. Itll be interesting for sure. I have an 8 yr old and an almost 4 yr old. Both will be in school starting in sept. SO that will be much of a HELP. However I am due in January (the 4th) But with both children I had them a month early so the dr already said probably in December. I have a girl and a boy, and a feeling I will be having another girl. My son will be outnumbered then. Oh BOY!

Josie3=5 · May 2016

Briala said:

What made the 1 to 2 transistion so much more difficult? Any advice would be helpful this baby will be our 2nd

So i'll tell you that my experience was that the transition from 0 to 1 was MUCH, MUCH harder than 1 to 2. I had PPD with my first and that probably colored my experience but I was completely overwhelmed, felt like a failure every day and felt like I had no idea what I was doing. Both DH and I were in pure survival mode for a good 9 months. Even though #2 had medical issues that made his first year of life pretty tough, i'll tell you that the transition to two was a breeze for me - DH and I knew what we were doing, we didn't feel overwhelmed and it was just an adjustment rather than feeling like our whole life had been blown to pieces and we were reassembling who and what we were.

What I've heard from other moms who felt that the transition to 2 was the hardest (and i'll tell you that I'm in the minority - I think most people feel the transition to 2 is hard) is that there's no longer any down time for anyone. With the first, you can shuffle one kid back and forth and get mini-breaks while the other parent is watching them but with two, there's exponentially more work to do and not as many opportunity to give your spouse a break, especially when they're really little. Mothers that have DHs that are not full partners in life also said that it was harder on their H because, all of a sudden, they HAD to get involved in childcare, whereas before the Hs leaned on the moms to just do the kid stuff. Last but not least, if you don't have someone who helps you with all the chores, all the kid stuff, etc, you quickly drown in the amount of stuff that has to be done. You're cleaning bottles while trying to put your toddler to sleep while you clean up the kitchen while you run laundry while you.... It just never ends.

I think the experience is really dependent on expectations in a couple, labor division, your support system, etc. I would also like to reassure you that DH and I give each other breaks on the regular, even with 2. He takes Friday nights off and I often take Saturday afternoon off and we just juggle the kids by ourselves. We got to a point where we could do that once the youngest was about a year old.

LastMango · May 2016

Josie3=5 said:

Briala said:

What made the 1 to 2 transistion so much more difficult? Any advice would be helpful this baby will be our 2nd

So i'll tell you that my experience was that the transition from 0 to 1 was MUCH, MUCH harder than 1 to 2. I had PPD with my first and that probably colored my experience but I was completely overwhelmed, felt like a failure every day and felt like I had no idea what I was doing. Both DH and I were in pure survival mode for a good 9 months. Even though #2 had medical issues that made his first year of life pretty tough, i'll tell you that the transition to two was a breeze for me - DH and I knew what we were doing, we didn't feel overwhelmed and it was just an adjustment rather than feeling like our whole life had been blown to pieces and we were reassembling who and what we were.
What I've heard from other moms who felt that the transition to 2 was the hardest (and i'll tell you that I'm in the minority - I think most people feel the transition to 2 is hard) is that there's no longer any down time for anyone. With the first, you can shuffle one kid back and forth and get mini-breaks while the other parent is watching them but with two, there's exponentially more work to do and not as many opportunity to give your spouse a break, especially when they're really little. Mothers that have DHs that are not full partners in life also said that it was harder on their H because, all of a sudden, they HAD to get involved in childcare, whereas before the Hs leaned on the moms to just do the kid stuff. Last but not least, if you don't have someone who helps you with all the chores, all the kid stuff, etc, you quickly drown in the amount of stuff that has to be done. You're cleaning bottles while trying to put your toddler to sleep while you clean up the kitchen while you run laundry while you.... It just never ends.
I think the experience is really dependent on expectations in a couple, labor division, your support system, etc. I would also like to reassure you that DH and I give each other breaks on the regular, even with 2. He takes Friday nights off and I often take Saturday afternoon off and we just juggle the kids by ourselves. We got to a point where we could do that once the youngest was about a year old.

I've heard this exact opinion from other moms as well. This will be my second so I don't have personal experience, but I have a feeling this will be the case. Adjusting from 0 to 1 was HARD. Your life is absolutely turned upside down and like @Josie3=5 said, you and your DH are redefining who you are as new parents.

I'm so much more calm so far through this pregnancy because I feel confident that I'll know what I'm doing this time around. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared of having two kids and challenges that will bring. It will most definitely require DH and I to be hands on at the same time with little down time for either of us. But it will become the new normal.

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