The breastfeeding struggle is real! Help and Info on bottle fed breast milk please :-)

kitandcat · May 2016

Hey ladies! My LO is having significant trouble with breastfeeding. It is a fierce battle every single feeding to try and get him to latch, he only does maybe 1/4 or 1/3 of the time and when he does it is shallow and causes me significant pain and bruising/scabbing. It is quite the scene, I try to get him to latch for 45 minutes or so every time :-( when I can pump enough we will feed breastmilk from the bottle but sometimes have to also supplement with formula to get him enough food. He lost more than 8% body weight in his first 24 hours and has slight jaundice so we are supplementing at the recommendation of our hospital, but now my milk is coming in and I'm more often getting enough for him now. LO is "tongue tied" with a short/tight frenulum and our pediatrician says it may or may not be having an impact, we can get it clipped but it may not do the trick. I am trying to find reputable research with information about pumping and feeding babies breast milk from a bottle - I.E. a discussion of if nutrients are lost or if there are negative aspects, or what addl benefits you have from feeding directly from the breast. I worked with a number of lactation consultants while in the hospital and they've been able to help me latch but they also have trouble making it happen too, and they didn't have much luck helping me get a non-shallow latch. I'm also looking for general advice and support as I'm having a really tough time emotionally with not being able to feed my LO as I want to and dealing with his very very unhappy spirit during breastfeeding. I'm a hot mess!!

kbrands7 · May 2016

You'll get a better milk removal and oxytocin boost from breastfeeding, but as long as the milk is stored properly and not heated, you shouldn't have to worry about substantial nutrient loss. Concerning the tongue tie, DS2 had one. We had it clipped on day 3 amd the difference in his latch was immediate. He only cried for a few seconds (they actually have the baby cry do that their mouth is open wide and the tongue is naturally up to clip it). There was no healing issue and he nursed immediately afterwards. It was much less invasive than I had feared. Our pediatrician said within the first few months, that particular area isn't very vascular so the procedure is very simple.

kwrightnb · May 2016

Hi there ! I've been exclusively breastfeeding since day 4 as my LO was having a very difficult time latching as well. He would scream bloody murder everytime he even seen my breasts as feeding was always such a struggle and a very negative time (my lactation consultant was very pushy and aggressive with him and I think it terrified him of me). after days of him putting up the fight of his life when it came time to eat I finally broke down

everytime my little guy was awake he was SO unhappy with me. So I decided I couldn't do it anymore and brought out the breast pump!
Ive been pumping ever since (he is now two weeks old) and it has been working great ! My supply is MORE than enough and i already have a good sized freezer stash going. My doctor and the lactaction consultant both said that bottle fed breast milk still gives 100% of the benefits to the baby. (The only thing your not getting is the bonding and skin to skin).
I will say though the exclusively pumping can be very frustrating and takes a lot of time. I feel like I am always feeding, changing and pumping 24-7, but it's worth it for the little guy.
My only advice for you is to try your best with breastfeeding!! If it can work for you and your little one it is totally worth all the struggles, but don't be too hard on yourself if you can't. You have to do what is best for you and your baby

nasalot188 · May 2016

I'm struggling over here too. I have inverted nipples which makes it next to impossible for them to latch. The nipple shield has been a LIFE saver. So maybe worth a try if your babe can't latch and it's hurting? It's not permanent, just to get them past the initial hurdle. I'm having to supplement with formula and pumping too. It's extremely stressful...hang in there tho. We can do it!!

BeansMom2014 · May 2016

@kwrightnb I'm in the exact same boat. After MANY lac consultants tried to get my LO to latch deeper and we both got thrush...I was a mess. Baby was ticked he couldn't eat. My Pediatrition said to pump for 24 hours to give my nips a break. It's been a week and I haven't been able to go back to nursing. Too much anxiety and he still just can't latch. Soooooo I'll be exclusively pumping. Thankfully I have no supply issues actually pumping double what baby needs every day so my freezer is filling fast! He's still having trouble with a bottle though. What bottles have you ladies had success with?

businessmama · May 2016

@beansmom2014 we used tommee tippee and my DS took it no hesitation, back on the breast no problem.

mcb2016 · May 2016

@BeansMom2014 We've been using the Lanisoh momma bottle. We've tried tommee tippee that bottle was too fast a flow. We started with the munchkin latch bottle but that required our little guy to work too hard for the milk!

folamij · May 2016

Second what PP said about nipples shields! I had issues bfing my munchkin but the nipple shield has helped her latch easily. In time I hope I won't need to use them at all, but for now they do the trick. Best of luck Momma!

NinnyJean · May 2016

We've been having similar issues, LC said the other day her frenulum was short and suggested a pediatric dentist consult to get it lazered. They said to nurse as long as possible, then bottle feed since she has to work so hard nursing she was falling asleep before getting enough, and then pump after. It's way more work than I ever anticipated but hoping to keep it up.

kwrightnb · May 2016

@BeansMom2014 I was shocked that my supply was so high too!! My doctor kept pushing that exclusively pumping would make my supply go down but I have more than enough for LO! As for the bottles my guy seems to love Medela! I bought just one bottle and one Calma nipple before he was born and just recently ordered 5 more on Amazon. They're crazy expensive (the Calma nipples) but he has to work really hard for the milk, which is perfect because he constantly chugs a bottle down in two minutes and spits up everywhere

wsgjmw1 · May 2016

BeansMom2014 said:

@kwrightnb I'm in the exact same boat. After MANY lac consultants tried to get my LO to latch deeper and we both got thrush...I was a mess. Baby was ticked he couldn't eat. My Pediatrition said to pump for 24 hours to give my nips a break. It's been a week and I haven't been able to go back to nursing. Too much anxiety and he still just can't latch. Soooooo I'll be exclusively pumping. Thankfully I have no supply issues actually pumping double what baby needs every day so my freezer is filling fast! He's still having trouble with a bottle though. What bottles have you ladies had success with?

Any tips or advice on how to pump double what baby needs ? I seem to only barely keep up with my LO on his feeding and my pumping. I would love to start storing milk for when I go back to work. Thanks !

gampster · May 2016

Nipple sheild has been a life saver for me. Allowed me to continue to feed while my poor bruised and bleeding nipples healed. Just make sure you get the right size. The hospital gave me one that was too small and it was just as painful as going without. Thankfully our midwife gave me a bigger one and it worked like a charm. After five days I am able to go without it on the right side and hopefully in a few days on the left as well.

kwrightnb · May 2016

@wsgjmw1 I was having difficult keeping up with my LO so I went and bought fenugreek capsules 610 mg and took two capsule twice daily for two days .. My supply instantly went from 3 ounces a session to well over 5 ounces every time I pumped. I still have an entire bottle and stopped taking them!! I also find it helps to pump every hour or two, not just when your baby eats (it tells your body that you need to make more milk) and also make sure your pumping atleast 5 minutes after you get the last drop of milk!

AuntieCre5 · May 2016

wsgjmw1 said:

BeansMom2014 said:

@kwrightnb I'm in the exact same boat. After MANY lac consultants tried to get my LO to latch deeper and we both got thrush...I was a mess. Baby was ticked he couldn't eat. My Pediatrition said to pump for 24 hours to give my nips a break. It's been a week and I haven't been able to go back to nursing. Too much anxiety and he still just can't latch. Soooooo I'll be exclusively pumping. Thankfully I have no supply issues actually pumping double what baby needs every day so my freezer is filling fast! He's still having trouble with a bottle though. What bottles have you ladies had success with?

Any tips or advice on how to pump double what baby needs ? I seem to only barely keep up with my LO on his feeding and my pumping. I would love to start storing milk for when I go back to work. Thanks !

I was having trouble keeping up too. If you can breastfeed at all my doc suggested that I just focus on one boob. So let the baby feed on one side and pump the other. And everything you pump save. The one boob thing has healed both my nipples and makes latching so much less stressful on both of us.

JennyS86 · May 2016

@kwrightnb said:

@BeansMom2014 I was shocked that my supply was so high too!! My doctor kept pushing that exclusively pumping would make my supply go down but I have more than enough for LO! As for the bottles my guy seems to love Medela! I bought just one bottle and one Calma nipple before he was born and just recently ordered 5 more on Amazon. They're crazy expensive (the Calma nipples) but he has to work really hard for the milk, which is perfect because he constantly chugs a bottle down in two minutes and spits up everywhere

I say "grrr" to myself every time I hear of a Doctor telling you that you can't support breastfeeding with pumping! That is just not true. There is a pumping support group on FB called Exclusive Pumping Moms Private Group where MANY moms are feeding their LOs with just pumping. I pumped for preemie twins and fed them that way for 16months. I didn't take supplements, but I did eat and drink a TON.

This time around, I am breastfeeding my singleton. My LO is a 37weeker, and was very sleepy at the breast for the fist 2 weeks. She's doing a bit better now, but I am trying to pump in the morning and evening to make sure that my supply comes in fully. I also hope to donate excess breastmilk to our new, local milk bank to help other preemies, as their mothers' milk comes in. For me, I wanted to breastfeed this LO because I don't see how pumping with 2yr old twins would ever work. They are all about the tubing and pressing buttons

tgortney · May 2016

wsgjmw1 said:

BeansMom2014 said:

@kwrightnb I'm in the exact same boat. After MANY lac consultants tried to get my LO to latch deeper and we both got thrush...I was a mess. Baby was ticked he couldn't eat. My Pediatrition said to pump for 24 hours to give my nips a break. It's been a week and I haven't been able to go back to nursing. Too much anxiety and he still just can't latch. Soooooo I'll be exclusively pumping. Thankfully I have no supply issues actually pumping double what baby needs every day so my freezer is filling fast! He's still having trouble with a bottle though. What bottles have you ladies had success with?

Any tips or advice on how to pump double what baby needs ? I seem to only barely keep up with my LO on his feeding and my pumping. I would love to start storing milk for when I go back to work. Thanks !

I exclusively pumped starting Day 3 when my milk came in, at first it was hard to keep up with LO's eating.

So I did a lot of nipple stimulation with the pump and I do the very occasional breastfeeding. Drank and ate a ton. Ate oatmeal cookies. Also, I think double pumping at the same time with my pump bra helped. I massage my breasts while I pump and pump until close to empty every time. I pumped every time LO was being bottle fed, really keeping up with pumping every 3 hours.

Now that I have an established milk supply, I've started freezing and prolonging my time between pumping. I get insanely engorged if I go more than 5 hours without pumping. I usually get 4-5oz per breast each session.

wsgjmw1 · May 2016

Thanks ladies! How many oz of breast milk do your Lo eat per feeding on average (for exclusive pumping bottle feeding moms only ).

tgortney · May 2016

We started at 2oz then after being 2 weeks old, he went to 3-4oz. Now at 3 weeks old, we do 3.5oz each feeding or 4oz at night so he sleeps longer. Also varies with how much he spits up after each feeding and we'll adjust.

KidShrink · May 2016

Also exclusively pumping here (sort of considering getting him back on the boob, but the amount of pain this chomper put me in is just not making me want to try again, even though his jaw is looser now). I get anywhere between 4.5 and 9oz per pumping session, and usually feed him 3 to 4 oz (he'll be 4 weeks on Friday). The first week I exclusively pumped, the little stinker gained 15oz, so he's very well fed!

st3lla · May 2016

Another vote here for the nipple shield. My LO didn't latch (or would immediately pop off) for the first five days and the only thing that's helped is the shield. We also had a very frustrating time at first with him bobbing and crying all over my chest which was also causing me a lot of guilt and sadness. His latching issues may have been due to too many drugs during delivery given a very difficult labour with epi followed by an emerg c section (he was sunny side up). We are still supplementing with pumped milk and figuring out our BF technique but things have improved immensely since using the shield.

Jyoung327 · May 2016

I don't mean to hijack the thread but my concerns are definitely related .... my 9 day old has been straight murdering my nipples to the point I have such high anxiety by feeding time and the pain has been so bad I cried during feedings. I began pumping to help w engOrgement and found how easy it was to just feed him the bottles. However, I feel guilty and also really want the breastfeeding experience and keep trying.

I went to the lactation consultant who is also a doctor at our office and she said baby has a mild tongue tie. She wanted to clip him right then and there and I panicked. After googling it seems I have all the symptoms of a tongue tied baby, and supposedly a clip would immediately fix it all but I'm so scared. I've been wondering about nipple shields and if they would help. Does anyone have experience with tongue clipping, or using a shield as an alternative for tie issues?? Again sorry to hijack :-/ (Ps longtime lurker)

Jenly17 · May 2016

Jyoung327 said:

I don't mean to hijack the thread but my concerns are definitely related .... my 9 day old has been straight murdering my nipples to the point I have such high anxiety by feeding time and the pain has been so bad I cried during feedings. I began pumping to help w engOrgement and found how easy it was to just feed him the bottles. However, I feel guilty and also really want the breastfeeding experience and keep trying.

I went to the lactation consultant who is also a doctor at our office and she said baby has a mild tongue tie. She wanted to clip him right then and there and I panicked. After googling it seems I have all the symptoms of a tongue tied baby, and supposedly a clip would immediately fix it all but I'm so scared. I've been wondering about nipple shields and if they would help. Does anyone have experience with tongue clipping, or using a shield as an alternative for tie issues?? Again sorry to hijack :-/ (Ps longtime lurker)

@Jyoung327The frenotomy (tongue tie procedure) is so quick and uneventful! I know it sounds scary but it's honestly done in a second. My DD had tongue tie (as does DS) and I had her tongue clipped. It definitely improved our breast feeding relationship. Fwiw- tongue tie can also cause speech issues in the future, depending how severe the tongue tie is. Good luck with your decision!

kbrands7 · May 2016

Jenly17 said:

Jyoung327 said:

I don't mean to hijack the thread but my concerns are definitely related .... my 9 day old has been straight murdering my nipples to the point I have such high anxiety by feeding time and the pain has been so bad I cried during feedings. I began pumping to help w engOrgement and found how easy it was to just feed him the bottles. However, I feel guilty and also really want the breastfeeding experience and keep trying.

I went to the lactation consultant who is also a doctor at our office and she said baby has a mild tongue tie. She wanted to clip him right then and there and I panicked. After googling it seems I have all the symptoms of a tongue tied baby, and supposedly a clip would immediately fix it all but I'm so scared. I've been wondering about nipple shields and if they would help. Does anyone have experience with tongue clipping, or using a shield as an alternative for tie issues?? Again sorry to hijack :-/ (Ps longtime lurker)

@Jyoung327The frenotomy (tongue tie procedure) is so quick and uneventful! I know it sounds scary but it's honestly done in a second. My DD had tongue tie (as does DS) and I had her tongue clipped. It definitely improved our breast feeding relationship. Fwiw- tongue tie can also cause speech issues in the future, depending how severe the tongue tie is. Good luck with your decision!

I second this. DS2 had it done and was breastfeeding a minute later-- and was able to keep the deep latch I encouraged. The blister he had given me from a shallow latch was gone within a few days and he went from needing close to an hour to drain a breast to needing only approximately 20min. The tongue tie tends to create a shallow latch which makes milk removal difficult and fatigues the baby.

Nicbert1214 · May 2016

@kwrightnb I had a similar experience with my LO. He was delivered via cs and I was not able to see him for almost 12 hours. During that time the nursery bottle fed him and when I did ultimately try to BF, he would scream and cry and become inconsolable. There was a few nurses at the hospital that were trying to help me- one of them was extremely rough, basically pushing his head into me and holding it there while he struggled which really upset me.
After going through this for about 3 days I felt that it would be best if I pumped and gave him BM from the bottle. I feed him about 8 times a day- half BM, half formula. I just took LO for his 2 week checkup yesterday and he has surpassed his birth weight- 7-11 and now he is 8-12, he has also grown 1 1/2 inches.
Even though I felt a bit letdown that we couldn't get the hang of BF, I'm happy to know that what we are doing now is working

kitandcat · May 2016

We are also considering the frenectomy. We asked our pediatrician about it and he said that research doesn't support that being tongue tied has any impact on breastfeeding :-/ but then he said lactation consultants tend to think it does have an impact and "They're very good at what they do"... so confusing, Doc!! It was weird, he basically wouldn't outright give his opinion but we're pretty sure he was indirectly saying he thinks we should do it. It's covered under our health insurance but has to be done with a pediatric dentist... and our insurance gave us a list of covered dental offices and none of them do it!! for eff's sake!!

I continue to feel guilty about bottle feeding breastmilk. I'm able to keep up with pumping but it's seriously the most exhausting experience ever. LO has been cluster feeding a bit the last few days so it is like I am constantly pumping. My mom helps feed him at night while I pump and DH feeds him in the day while I pump but sometimes I want to feed him just because he's so happy and alert during feedings and I also like to do skin to skin after when I can. I can't imagine what it will be like when my mom heads home (she lives half way across the country) and DH goes back to work - both on the same day next week! I will have to feed him, then change him, then pump while somehow tending to him. He's a great sleeper but a lot of the time will be fussy unless someone holds him (usually during nighttime hours of course) - I have no idea how I'm going to do it on my own!!! My SIL suggested one of those bras where you can pump hands free. I'll have to check it out.

I feel like DH is judging me a little bit for bottle feeding breastmilk - like I think he feels like I gave up and I should be trying harder or something. When LO was screaming at me for 45 minutes every feeding and my nipples had bruises and scabs and I was crying all day, he was super supportive, always telling me he was proud of me and I was doing a great job and I was a great mom - and now that I've just been pumping for several days because I don't want to feel like LO hates me and I don't want to be in terrible pain all day everyday, he is a jerk sometimes. He SAYS he supports me and he understands, but I just feel JUDGED.

Ok. Longest post ever/vent over.

KidShrink · May 2016

Because of our ordeal and LOs latch issues (no tongue tie, but tight jaw preventing him from opening wide), I've also been pumping and bottle feeding. His issues have improved thanks to a few chiropractic treatments, and I'm starting to feel less overwhelmed by everything, so I plan to try breastfeeding again this weekend, but I'm so afraid of feeling the same awful pain again that I've been quite hesitant and quite frankly, avoiding. I feel like we now have our little groove and I like that someone else than me can feed him sometimes...we shall see how it goes.

tgortney · May 2016

@kit&cat Definitely buy the hands free bra! Best thing ever! Also, ugh, I'm sorry about your husband. I don't think he would be judging if he had someone chomping on his nipples 8-10 times a day for 20-30 minutes each breast!!

My husband actually urged me to pump because he saw LO literally rip my nipple from constant BFing in the hospital (and because LO had jaundice and we needed to know how much he was getting). I love BFing my son but for bonding purposes only, if he can get the benefits of BM and I'm not in pain then win win. Don't feel guilty!

Nicbert1214 · May 2016

@kit&cat definitely get the hands free bra for pumping- I actually cut 2 holes in a sports bra and it works wonders. Believe me, pumping is a pain in the ass, but being able to not have to hold the pumps the entire time is a real game changer.
I also feel guilty sometimes too- and my DH, even though he says he doesn't care that I am feeding LO the BM from a bottle rather than straight from me- he keeps telling me to try and see if he will latch on. I mean- it's been 2 weeks, he is not going to latch on lol and I don't think it's anyone's fault and it's not like I gave up. I tried really hard for 3 days while in the hospital and it just wound up being a very stressful and upsetting experience for both myself and LO- so I feel like as long as he is getting the BM, what the heck is the difference if it's from a bottle or my boob?! I also feel like the hospital I delivered in was run by a bunch of BF nazis and they really made you feel like shit if you didn't BF. One of the doctors there had the balls to tell me that while she was doing her residency, working 80-90 hours per week that her LO did not have "one single drop of formula". Ok, that's fantastic, would you like a cookie?! Geez lol.

khochanadel · May 2016

Suck, suck, swallow? More like suck, suck, scream.

wsgjmw1 · May 2016

What pump are you all using ? I have the ameda purely yours , only because my insurance gave it to me for free . However after only using it 3 weeks one of parts isn't working right and overall I'm just not pleased with it. Can you recommended one?

folamij · May 2016

@wsgjmw1 I gave the Medela pump in style advanced. Haven't had any problems with it and works just like the one I used in the hospital.

tgortney · May 2016

folamij said:

@wsgjmw1 I gave the Medela pump in style advanced. Haven't had any problems with it and works just like the one I used in the hospital.

Yep! That's the one I use. The medical supplies company said that's one grade below hospital quality

and we got it for free.

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The breastfeeding struggle is real! Help and Info on bottle fed breast milk please :-)

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