WTF Wednesday 5.25

slartybartfast · May 2016

This isn't up yet and I'm WTFin all over the place.

slartybartfast · May 2016

1. I'm going to a musical with friends tonight after work. WTF was I thinking. I need to be in bed and asleep. It's the only part of the day I look forward to. When I can finally let myself totally pass out. Plus I'll probably need to barf during it. Plus we're going to dinner first (probably will eat something outside safe zone and barf unless they serve pb toast). PLUS it's such a sweet story and I will cry cry cry.

2. WTF is happening to my poop. Where is it going? How is this physically possible?

3. WTF coworker, I had to tell my 2 close colleagues today about being pregnant as one is leaving us and we had to talk about workload transition. The other said "congratulations... I guess I have to say that" while it was clear he was super pissed because he feels more will fall to him. He's right. I sympathize. I'm mostly worthless and getting paid well for it. But... this is life.

DiFazette · May 2016

@slartybartfast - this is going to get a little personal but my suggestion could help out countless constipated ladies on this board. I'm sure by now we've all heard of the squatty potty. Well, I haven't bought one because I wasn't sure of the hype but after 3 days without a prayer of a successful poop, I turned my clean trashcan upside down and sat on the toilet with me feet up on it. About 3 minutes later I had success. Something about opening up your colon when your knees are at a 45 degree angle versus 90 like normal. Anywho, it worked for me and I have some pep back in my step today!

Kacie209 · May 2016

@DiFazette I may need to invest in the Squatty Potty. It eventually comes out, but I feel like more is just hiding and making everything uncomfortable. my usual go-to's for eating and causing it to happen have not worked, ha. I do have to say that if I sit up straighter, that helps a little. I will try the 45 degree angle!

WTF... it's only Wednesday? I feel like it should at least be half-way through Thursday. Maybe I am just anticipating the long weekend and somewhat shorter week I have next week due to time off.

slartybartfast · May 2016

DiFazette - definitely going to attempt this.

phoenix870509 · May 2016

My counterpart is out today and didn't bother giving me a heads up. She does this all the time. Sometimes she will let me know ahead of time, but completely blindsided today. I talked to my boss about this in the past, and his response was it is not her responsibility to let me know she will not be in. As long as she lets him know, he will let me know. Yeah, he tells me this morning at 9am, and thinks I should be alerted to it because she hasn't sent out her normal morning e-mails. Dude, I have my own morning duties and don't notice she's sending e-mails until I actually look. Now I have to do her work on top of mine. She handles different clients and I'm not 100% up to speed on some of their procedures because I'm dealing with my own clients changing theirs once a week! Ugh.

gigemily09 · May 2016

I have been using a squatty potty for a few years now, it is really amazing how much it helps!

WTF I'm so bloated, and I know it's just bloat. Ugh. I'm a teacher and I've got 5 more school days, can't wait till I can just wear yoga pants all day long!

sourlemon · May 2016

WTF having to wake up and go to work all day. I don't want to adult this week!

Also WTF self for writing every Tasker down on my list but procrastinating so hard I get nothing done. I'm pathetic this week. I also DGAF.

dmontgo · May 2016

Made it to the gym, stretched, warmed up, did some cardio, hit the rowing machine, feeling super good so I grab a kettle bell and start doing some squats in sets. I'm sweating like a pig and killing it! Hit squat #40 ....

..and I pulled a groin muscle.

Gym beast-mode motivation balloon releases a noticeable fart noise of failure, and decide to finish my workout by stretching and doing some pathetic arm presses. Pee on myself a little while wincing from groin pull, secretly wishing my head was in a big bag of chips. Very skinny, non-pregnant college student skips past me, and I briefly consider throwing medicine balls at her freakishly chiseled abs.

Now I'm home and my body is so sore that I feel borderline crippled. Damn you, Wednesday. Damn you.

aevan011 · May 2016

Coworker got pissed that half the hospital found out about my pregnancy before her. We've literally never spoken outside of work, we don't even work in the same department. Her ex-husband happens to work with my husband and I've actually hung out with him and not her. I had to ask her PLEASE don't tell him bc I'd like for my DH to be able to tell his coworkers himself. This is not the first time this has happened, but the strongest reaction from a coworker so far.

I'm not sure why some people feel entitled to my life information.

Also my work pants officially don't fit. I, too, am looking forward to yoga pants days.

prb09003 · May 2016

.

slartybartfast · May 2016

You've done well @dmontgo, you've done well. Now you rest.

zubenescamali · May 2016

I'm on the WTF colon train too. Squatty potty is no match for a tilted uterus constricting my rectum. My poop is pencil thin and takes 20 minutes to move. I've been late for work every day this week because I can't get it out in the morning. And this is with miralax and docusate.
Of course, I'm pretty sure the daily vomiting is contributing to this situation.

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