Two Under Two

mothernorth · May 2016

Let's talk 2U2!
Questions from 2U2 mothers-to-be and any and all advice and tips from from BTDT 2U2 moms.

mothernorth · May 2016

I know this was discussed briefly long ago, but it would be nice to have a thread to look back on!
BTDT moms- What would you consider necessity for 2U2 and what are some essentials (items/advice/routines)?
I like to consider myself a seasoned vet with an 8yo, 4yo, and 9mo, but these two LOs will only be 15 months apart and it's just a different ballgame!

CopperBoom86 · May 2016

This will be our first baby, but we want two under two. Following to see what I'm getting myself into!

ingoscj · May 2016

We will also have 2U2. I'm starting to get a little nervous as to how it's all going to work out. I figure we'll find our groove eventually, but any tips would be greatly appreciated.

fallbabyround3 · May 2016

2U2 I suggesting getting a good double stroller. I had my boys 13 months apart. Have your older child in a good sleep routine so you can actually get your sleep at night. Naptime are extremely important. They saved me the first year. Also make sure to explain to your first that the baby is coming and that you love them both. My oldest loved to kiss and hug on my belly when I was still pregnant with his little brother. Some kind of swing or jumperoo was extremely helpful to be able to spend one on one with my oldest will his brother was playing. An activity arch is a great toy for them to play and learn together my oldest taught his brother to crawl early through the arch.

mothernorth · May 2016

DEFINITELY need the double stroller, I have a jumper, and love the activity arch idea, thank you @fallbabyround3

LO is a great sleeper now finally, and we have a strict nap routine due to my already hectic schedule so I think maybe adding another baby in won't be TOO much stress, at least not routine wise.

katlarissa · May 2016

I have a question. (Maybe for just STM's in general.) How old were your kids when you successfully moved them into the same room? Any tips for how to make the process smoother? Our boys will be 18 months apart, and we have a 2 bedroom house. Our master is thankfully really large, but I know I'm going to want to have the boys in their own room together within a year if possible.

mothernorth · May 2016

@katlarissa I would say as soon as they both sleep through the night so they aren't waking one another up!
And having one a bit older than the other and sharing a room, I would be cautious what toys are bought for both of them, and let family and friends know to be mindful of that thought around birthdays and holidays. Probably not really relevant for another year or two, but it's something that crossed my mind since my boys will also be sharing a room.

kmvisioli · May 2016

Thanks for the tips @fallbabyround3! We are about to have 3 under 18 months so I am just not even sure where to start figuring that out. My big question for now is: how did you manage your older while breastfeeding?

blessyourheartmama · May 2016

I'm not 2U2, but following anyway! I am about to have 3 under 4 (a 3 1/2 yr old son and twins (boy/girl)).

DS keeps asking if he'll still be my baby. I reassure him always and that he'll always be my first baby.

My mom is already planning for me to transition their rooms from the twins sharing to the boys sharing in a few years. I actually agree with her on this for when the twins reach potty training age. Any advice?

freckledlemonade · May 2016

JessK1014 said:

I'm not 2U2, but following anyway! I am about to have 3 under 4 (a 3 1/2 yr old son and twins (boy/girl)).
DS keeps asking if he'll still be my baby. I reassure him always and that he'll always be my first baby.
My mom is already planning for me to transition their rooms from the twins sharing to the boys sharing in a few years. I actually agree with her on this for when the twins reach potty training age. Any advice?

Oh my gosh, that breaks my heart.

Michi1382 · May 2016

We'll be two under two! It's going to be craaaaaay lol but I'm also very excited for it. Some of you answered this already but I definitely want DD to feel equally as loved and not set on the backburner at all. That would break my heart. I guess spending as much time with her as possible and telling her we love her all the time sounds like it'll do the trick. I hope! Also, a double stroller was mentioned--would you recommended a side-by-side or a tandem one? Thank you!

NoraAurora · May 2016

We will have 2u2. I guess I feel like DS really doesn't have a clue yet what he's in for, so idk how I would prep him? He's only 17 months and there's not a lot of discussion yet.

Schell2013 · May 2016

I had 2u2 with my first two girls. The best advice I can say is sleep when they sleep. Forget about cooking, cleaning and the extras and just sleep if your tired. Take your stroller everywhere, just in case. It was the biggest lifesaver. I also learned a whole bunch about baby wearing, it was a absolute dream to be able to get a full cart of groceries with two kids.

Regarding the strollers- I splurged and got a city select, it was worth every single penny. I hated my side by side stroller cause it was wide and annoying in stores. My city select works great, and now that my girls are older it's nice to be able to change the seats around if they're fighting and one is kicking the back of the others seat.

Many older one would just play when I fed her sister and usually would feed her baby too like mom.

The first 6 months were hard, (my second has reflux and was mega colicky) but after that it was a breeze, and I would of did it again cause now mostly they play well and have the same interests.

fallbabyround3 · May 2016

My two boys started sharing a room when ds2 was around six months, he was sleeping on a pretty regular schedule and my oldest refused to go to sleep without his little brother near him. I just told my oldest that mommy had to feed the baby. I put on his favorite show and had toys. Most times he sat next to me and watched tv while I nursed. I know some people are against young kids watching tv but it helped a lot. After a while my oldest got used to seeing me breastfeed and when ever the baby cried he woild say mommy boobies. I always had a Side by side because my boys always wanted to sit next to each other often held hands, but side by sides can be hard to navigate in stores. You get used to it very quickly though. DH and I just keep telling him there is a baby coming and showed him a picture. He caught on after a while we hyped up the fact that he was going to be an awesome big brother. Once he felt the baby move he was always wanting to feel and was so excited he napped against my stomach many many times. Only advice I can really give his tell him early on so it's not a surprise my sister in never told her oldest till she gave birth and my nephew was the nastiest kid for a while. Also try to make it about him, maybe buy him some clothes that say big brother. My oldest was a dream when his little brother was born we just bought a ton of matching outfits which he loved and was allowed to sit with the baby in my lap and gave tons of kisses and hugs. I'm hoping his little brother and him are as good as last time, this time around.

mothernorth · May 2016

I'm curious if there have been any notable jealousy issues or anything of that nature?

babyblues3 · May 2016

I had 2u2 and was super nervous about everything (20 months apart)! But we got though it. DD1 is a really good kid who loved to help. Once DD2 was born we just tried to find a routine. Thankfully DD2 was a quick eater and would sleep a lot! Also, while I breastfed DD1 would feed her baby next to mommy.

As far as advice I would say let your oldest help out as much as possible with the new baby. We used a baby doll to show DD1 how to play nice and be gentle.

I actually think it was harder once DD2 could walk because then she could take toys from her older sister and cause disagreements. Also, a one year has very few communication skills which caused a lot more tantrums between the two girls. Sense DD2 is now 2 they have been getting along great and I love watching them interact and learn from each other.

@AllyTheKid we have had some jealousy issues about toys and attention. We just call them out on it and try and tell them that we love them and redirect them to a solution.

Michi1382 · May 2016

My biggest thing is that I want DD to feel loved and involved. I don't want her to feel left out or suddenly neglected. I'm going to be super conscious of that. I'll do my best with a newborn here!

Schell2013 · May 2016

AllyTheKid said:

I'm curious if there have been any notable jealousy issues or anything of that nature?

Not really. I think now that there 3 and 2 it's worse than when DD2 was first born honestly.

fallbabyround3 · May 2016

Try to set out time, possibly while baby is sleeping and the older isn't just for her. or use a swing for baby while playing with your DD.
jealousy wasn't a issue till DS2 wanted DS1 s cooler bigger toys so we made a rule to buy two of everything and if they come in multiple colors we buy DS1 Red his favorite color and Ds2 gets blue his favorite color resolves most problems. I treat them like twins

nsquaredlife13 · May 2016

I'll have 2U2. I'm super nervous about it, but also very excited. DS (#1) and DD (#2) will be 22 months apart so I guess it's not that terrible. I just don't know how/when we'll be able to really let our son know he's going to have a little sister because right now we say baby sister and he hears "banana" or "duck".

NoraAurora · May 2016

^WSS

mothernorth · May 2016

Yeah, I can't say I'm too concerned with trying to make my 9-month-old "understand" that there is another baby on the way.
@fallbabyround3 @babyblues3 Thank you for all of your input ladies! It really helps to hear experiences from you guys, seriously

blessyourheartmama · May 2016

@sidecarsareforbishes Yeah, it breaks my heart too. I don't know why he thinks that will change.

He's been really snuggly lately, and is always loving on me and my belly. I've bought books about becoming a big brother, and I'd like to think that helps. I've bought him a big brother shirt. I tell him he's going be my helper, but he'll always be my baby, that Mommy loves him so much, and that we're just getting two more to love in our family.

Some days he wants to be a baby and regresses a bit, but some days he says I'm growing bigger like Daddy and wants to be so independent. I think some of it is the age he's in now.

kmvisioli · May 2016

Ours will be 18months apart, so I don't think my little guy really grasps the concept yet. I bought him a couple of big brother books and a baby doll that we "practice" with (like, "let's rock out baby gently" or "we can touch the baby's toes"). He loves to hug it and "burp" it. I also have friends with younger babies, so I make sure he spends a few minutes visiting with the little baby and seeing what they're like. I actually think that is the sweetest and probably most helpful thing we've done so far.

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