TTC After a Loss

^*TTCAL TWO WEEK WAIT THREAD*^

24

Re: ^*TTCAL TWO WEEK WAIT THREAD*^

  • So sorry, @jdmrs. I agree with @Wishilivedinflorida, the lost time is what absolutely kills me. I swear at times this loss has given me some OCD behaviors, I'm constantly calculating dates, ages (I'll be this old when...) etc. in my frantic effort to live out a certain timeline or make up for time lost from this whole experience. The BFNs are just such a start reminder of the situation we are in. 
  • JDMRSJDMRS member
    @Wishilivedinflorida Thank you for the well wishes.  Next AF should be due Father's Day weekend, and I would love for DH to have his 1st Father's Day this year. I burst into tears at a minor league baseball game. They have the truck race, and pick three little kids to root for each of the trucks, and the little boy who won was just so happy he won, and the look of pure joy on his face was a stab in the uterus. 

    @BornReady oh I do the same thing. It's a horrible rabbit hole of obsessive thinking. 


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  • @JDMRS sorry about AF, that is hard to deal with.

    I started POAS this weekend even though there's no possible way it would be positive yet...I convinced myself there was a tiny chance.  I'm going to try to hold out again until Friday or Saturday, but we will see.
  • I thought I had no pregnancy tests left but I found one cheapie under the towels in the linen closet and took it like a effing fool at 8DPO. I really didn't want it in the house, but it's not like that made me feel awesome. I'm 12 DPO, cramping so hard with a seriously weird chart (fallback rise, unclear CM, peaks and valleys). This was a rough cycle and I know the next one isn't going to be better.

    Sorry for all the BFNs, I had hoped you would have all graduated while I was gone.
    Renee, 34 + Devon, 29 married 08/13 <3
    TTC  09/15
    *TW Loss mentioned*
    BFP 12/15/15 EDD: 08/26/16
    MMC discovered 1/25/16 at 9 +3
    TTCAL 3/2016
    Acupuncture 11/16
    Dx December 2016: unexplained 
    January 2017: 50 mg Clomid + TI =
    BFP #2 01/30/17  Please be a sticky baby!
    EDD: 10/15/17  Measuring ahead! 10/12/17 
    Ambrose born on his due date!

  • @reneeannemm sorry you did the same stupid 8 DPO testing I did.  

    Today I'm having light brown spotting, too, which is making this all more confusing.  FF doesn't even think I ovulated, I'm just guessing based on CM and cramping about when/if I ovulated.  And I'm on cycle day 36 so who knows what is going on...first actual cycle since my loss and I have PCOS so it's a total mystery what my body is up to.
  • CD 20 here, probably 4-6 dpo. I've got my fingers crossed since dh & I had a pretty good baby danceoff schedule this month :-) FX for everyone here!
    “Be present in all things and thankful for all things.”  ~Maya Angelou

    ~~~~ TW ~~~~~~

    Me: 40    DH: 39
    Married 12.19.13
    BFP #1 1/14, MC 2/14 (6wks)
    BFP #2 1/15, MMC/D&C 3/15 (12wks)
    BFP #3 6/15, MC 8/15 (9wks)
    BFP #4 4/16, MC 4/16 (5wks)
    BFP #5 7/16, MMC 8/16 (10 wks)
    BFP #6 3/4 , EDD 11/9/17
  • silentPsilentP member
    Sorry about all the early testing let downs and AF showing up blues :( I was a mess last month when AF arrived. I am just so sick of getting my period!

    I am on DPO 7, but thanks to getting a stomach bug at a peak time, I don't have high hopes. But since there is still a chance, I will be hanging out here, going crazy!
  • JDMRSJDMRS member
    @silentP
    FX for you! 
  • I wonder what that compulsion is? @mandi135 We're intelligent people! Why would we do that!?

    FX @silentP Hope you feel better soon.

    13 DPO and woke up with another temp rise, but it was really hot last night and my temps this cycle are silly. I'm not clear on how much external factors influence my temps.  Not actually sure of how long my luteal phase is at this point, as it was 16 and 14 days last two cycles. I should spot today, as I have almost always 13 DPO. If I don't, I'll test tomorrow morning.
    Renee, 34 + Devon, 29 married 08/13 <3
    TTC  09/15
    *TW Loss mentioned*
    BFP 12/15/15 EDD: 08/26/16
    MMC discovered 1/25/16 at 9 +3
    TTCAL 3/2016
    Acupuncture 11/16
    Dx December 2016: unexplained 
    January 2017: 50 mg Clomid + TI =
    BFP #2 01/30/17  Please be a sticky baby!
    EDD: 10/15/17  Measuring ahead! 10/12/17 
    Ambrose born on his due date!

  • @reneeannemm omg!! i want to say congrats but i'll wait until you know for sure. you march your butt right back to the store and buy more tests right this minute! i would think the evap line issue would show up after the allotted time window for testing. if there is a line during the first few minutes then you're ku!
    TW*** Child and loss mentioned
    Married 10/12
    DS 11/14
    Ectopic 2/16
    PCOS/Ovulation Dysfunction 11/16
    IUI x 3- BFN
    Laparoscopy 3/17 Endo and tubal damage
    IVF- 4/17- 40 eggs retrieved, 10 blasts, 7 pgs tested embryos
    FET- 6/17- BFP!
    Due Feb 15, 2017
  • Ehh, I just spotted so I'm fairly certain I got two evap lines. Gonna get DH to pick a FRER up on his way home, but it seems I'll be saving it for next cycle.
    Renee, 34 + Devon, 29 married 08/13 <3
    TTC  09/15
    *TW Loss mentioned*
    BFP 12/15/15 EDD: 08/26/16
    MMC discovered 1/25/16 at 9 +3
    TTCAL 3/2016
    Acupuncture 11/16
    Dx December 2016: unexplained 
    January 2017: 50 mg Clomid + TI =
    BFP #2 01/30/17  Please be a sticky baby!
    EDD: 10/15/17  Measuring ahead! 10/12/17 
    Ambrose born on his due date!

  • @reneeannemm I have been stalking over here every day to see. Hoping it works out 
  • Ohhhhhh @reneeannemm .....I have everything crossed for you....
  • @reneeannemm Keep us posted - wishing you double line thoughts!

    I am driving myself nuts with everything being either a PMS or early pregnancy symptom.  Spotting?  Heartburn/indigestion?  Headache?  I'm sure I'm imagining some of it but I may stop at the store on the way home today for a FRER test instead of my cheapos just to help me give it a rest...
  • @reneeannemm  - FX for you! 
    “Be present in all things and thankful for all things.”  ~Maya Angelou

    ~~~~ TW ~~~~~~

    Me: 40    DH: 39
    Married 12.19.13
    BFP #1 1/14, MC 2/14 (6wks)
    BFP #2 1/15, MMC/D&C 3/15 (12wks)
    BFP #3 6/15, MC 8/15 (9wks)
    BFP #4 4/16, MC 4/16 (5wks)
    BFP #5 7/16, MMC 8/16 (10 wks)
    BFP #6 3/4 , EDD 11/9/17
  • @reneeannemm - I've got everything I've got two of crossed for you - fingers, toes, and boobs! Oh and I'll even cross my eyes...
    ---TW BFP and MC mentioned - scroll down past the Lilo and Stitch gif to avoid ---




    Me: 33 & DH: 33
    Married: 07/2006
    TTC: 10/2015
    BFP #1: 11/2015, MC 12/2015 (7 weeks)
    BFP #2: 06/2016, EDD 2/15/2017



    Pregnancy Ticker






  • @reneeannemm I have all the things crossed for you! Hopefully the spotting was just random. 
  • @reneeannemm I read this and feel like I want to run to your house (Although I have no idea where that is) and bring you more tests!! So hoping you get two lines tomorrow!! I'm definitely a POAS addict...I am on CD 33, know I'm not pregnant and still kinda want to POAS
    DH - 34, Me - 32
    Married 7/13
    TTC #1 since 10/13
    BFP 2/4/15, MC twin boys at 18w3d 5/15
    IUI #1 2/25/16

  • I'm losing it over here. I am about 90% sure they are crappy tests with indent/evaps in every negative result, but that 10% is a baaaaad place to be sitting. I joined a shameful website just to put up pics of my pee sticks and they are just as confused as I am. I covered them in the garbage so I can't dig them out and now I feel bad like I got everyone's hopes up for nothing.
    Renee, 34 + Devon, 29 married 08/13 <3
    TTC  09/15
    *TW Loss mentioned*
    BFP 12/15/15 EDD: 08/26/16
    MMC discovered 1/25/16 at 9 +3
    TTCAL 3/2016
    Acupuncture 11/16
    Dx December 2016: unexplained 
    January 2017: 50 mg Clomid + TI =
    BFP #2 01/30/17  Please be a sticky baby!
    EDD: 10/15/17  Measuring ahead! 10/12/17 
    Ambrose born on his due date!

  • Don't feel bad - we've all been there, I think.  I just about went cross-eyed this morning trying to find a line when there clearly wasn't; I can't imagine how insane I'd be if I had even an indent, let alone an evap line.
  • HLD3194HLD3194 member
    CD29/DPO11 Tested yesterday -BFN and same today...I am 99% sure AF is coming any hour now but that 1% chance is still holding on to a sliver of hope. I am trying not to Google 12DPO positives and what not. I wish none of us were in this situation. Good luck to everyone and I'm sending you all positive vibes!!!
  • 13 DPO here and a BFN this morning. Will probably be starting AF tomorrow. I was so hoping for this month. We had an amazing time on our anniversary which was the day before O and it seemed right, but I keep reminding myself with with only one tube it will most certainly take longer than it would have before. Oh well...such is the way it goes. 
    Me: 32 DH: 36
    Married 5/08
    BFP #1: 1/27/13 DS #1 born 10/16/13
    BFP #2: 1/20/16, ectopic discovered 1/23/16
    Surgery 1/23/16 to remove ruptured tube
    TTCAL 3/16
    BFP #3: 3/24/17 EDD 12/5/17
    DS #2 born 12/11/17



  • Spartanrd4Spartanrd4 member
    edited May 2016
    Welp AF came today...annoyed because 1) I'm not KU and 2) my lp was only 8 days (pre loss it was 11). I know it's only my first real cycle trying post loss but was still hopeful. FX for better luck next month! 

    Question WWYD: I was supposed to get my pap tomorrow with my ob/gyn (AF came earlier than normal)...obviously won't be getting the pap but still kinda want to still see her because I have some questions and she is so hard to get in to. Should I go still and reschedule pap with someone else or cancel and try my luck another time?
  • @Spartanrd4 I don't think obgyns care if you have your period during a pap. I'd still go, especially if you have related questions.
    Renee, 34 + Devon, 29 married 08/13 <3
    TTC  09/15
    *TW Loss mentioned*
    BFP 12/15/15 EDD: 08/26/16
    MMC discovered 1/25/16 at 9 +3
    TTCAL 3/2016
    Acupuncture 11/16
    Dx December 2016: unexplained 
    January 2017: 50 mg Clomid + TI =
    BFP #2 01/30/17  Please be a sticky baby!
    EDD: 10/15/17  Measuring ahead! 10/12/17 
    Ambrose born on his due date!

  • @Spartanrd4 I am all for information so I would probably go in with my questions and then reschedule my pap. This would especially be true if you trust her with your specific stuff. Obviously a pap most anyone can do, but there are some Drs I trust more to give me good information. 
    Me: 32 DH: 36
    Married 5/08
    BFP #1: 1/27/13 DS #1 born 10/16/13
    BFP #2: 1/20/16, ectopic discovered 1/23/16
    Surgery 1/23/16 to remove ruptured tube
    TTCAL 3/16
    BFP #3: 3/24/17 EDD 12/5/17
    DS #2 born 12/11/17



  • Thanks @reneeannemm that's what I was thinking...i hate to cancel. Will see what she says....and I'm hoping that you don't have evap lines but don't feel bad for getting a little crazy. I've actually only used digital tests because I think the lines can be so confusing!! Keep us posted! 

    @taggarab yes I trust her a lot and I actually have not seen her since my MC...I couldn't get in to see her for my follow up so I just want to let her know what has been going on and get her input. 
  • What a roller coaster @reneeannemm ! I"m sorry it wasn't a clear yes or no. Speaking of the spotting though... I feel like that crap happens to me all the time. Whenever I get the courage to test and it's a BFN, I swear my body releases AF just to taunt me, like one big final "f-you" on the way out. I hope you get your positive tomorrow, but if not we're all here for you!
  • OMG @reneeannemm just OmG
    FX and everything crossed for you girl!!!
    Married 06.21.14 / TTC since 11.15 /
    BFP 01.03.2016 / MMC 6w5d D&C 02.2016 // BFP 05.06.16 / natural MC 05.12.16
    Benched 06.2016-08.2016 / TTC again 09.2016! On a diet. Cranky.
    BFP 10.02.2016 / NT scan at 12w looked normal / Anatomy scan at 20w everything ok
    Team blue! / EDD June 11th 2017
    DAVID ROGER was born on May 23rd at 37 weeks.

    Architect, Peruvian living in Chile. I love art, opera and good chocolate.
    Started PhD studies in Architecture on 2017.
    Fur mom of a rescued miniature poodle called Luke Skywalker.


    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • @BornReady Ugh, I know. Now I'm having some gastrointestinal issues that usually only come with the first day of flow and it's just like, OK I guess this is going to be an especially rough one. Nasty tests, nasty day. 

    This is a new TTC experience. It's not like they tell you sometimes pregnancy tests are up for debate. Gah, I wish I drank so I could have a drink at the end of this.

    Thank you all for your unwavering support. I honestly don't know how I'd make it through the day sometimes without you. I do talk it over with DH but he doesn't have it physically happening to him over and over, so it's just not the same. Plus, solidarity. I got a digital, I'll try in the morning if AF hasn't started overnight (she never does). 
    Renee, 34 + Devon, 29 married 08/13 <3
    TTC  09/15
    *TW Loss mentioned*
    BFP 12/15/15 EDD: 08/26/16
    MMC discovered 1/25/16 at 9 +3
    TTCAL 3/2016
    Acupuncture 11/16
    Dx December 2016: unexplained 
    January 2017: 50 mg Clomid + TI =
    BFP #2 01/30/17  Please be a sticky baby!
    EDD: 10/15/17  Measuring ahead! 10/12/17 
    Ambrose born on his due date!

  • @reneeannemm first thing I did when I woke is check this thread for an update, I feel so anxious for you! Please update soon!! I've got everything crossed for good news!
    DH - 34, Me - 32
    Married 7/13
    TTC #1 since 10/13
    BFP 2/4/15, MC twin boys at 18w3d 5/15
    IUI #1 2/25/16

  • silentPsilentP member
    Fingers crossed @reneeannemm :)
  • It's not any clearer! DH got confused in the aisle and picked up something that looked like two Clearblue digitals, but it's one digi and one plus - with the same faint line. The other one in the box is a digital, but if it is a faint positive then it's probably not worth it to take when it's so faint; they're not really sensitive, are they? Honestly how can one tell the difference between a faint line and a line with no colour?

    I'm not celebrating, as my temp took a huge dive this morning. I might go to the dollar store later, but otherwise it's got to wait for tomorrow morning when I will take the digital burning a hole in my linen closet. Sorry to keep everyone on their toes!!
    Renee, 34 + Devon, 29 married 08/13 <3
    TTC  09/15
    *TW Loss mentioned*
    BFP 12/15/15 EDD: 08/26/16
    MMC discovered 1/25/16 at 9 +3
    TTCAL 3/2016
    Acupuncture 11/16
    Dx December 2016: unexplained 
    January 2017: 50 mg Clomid + TI =
    BFP #2 01/30/17  Please be a sticky baby!
    EDD: 10/15/17  Measuring ahead! 10/12/17 
    Ambrose born on his due date!

  • @reneeannemm  I hope that it ends up being good news for you!!!

    My temp took a nose dive this morning and today is the day I should start so I am almost 100% out this month. Trying to not be depressed and going to go kill it at my workout.
    Me: 32 DH: 36
    Married 5/08
    BFP #1: 1/27/13 DS #1 born 10/16/13
    BFP #2: 1/20/16, ectopic discovered 1/23/16
    Surgery 1/23/16 to remove ruptured tube
    TTCAL 3/16
    BFP #3: 3/24/17 EDD 12/5/17
    DS #2 born 12/11/17



  • @reneeannemm good luck getting through this - solidarity!

    @taggarab Sorry you're not feeling good about this month, but good for you for still staying positive and I hope your workout is good.

    BFN this morning on the FRER but also no spotting.  I didn't temp this morning (stupid) so I have no clue what's doing there, but I have been nauseous and had a headache since yesterday, so maybe I'm just sick?  Symptoms are so annoyingly vague and make me crazy.  At least my new running shoes arrived so I can go for a run tonight... 
  • @reneeannemm thank you for the quick update! I have no idea how you resisted the digital (even though it's probably a good choice)...it would be the only thing I'd be able to think about all day! But yes I don't think the digis are very sensitive so perhaps wait a day or two. I'm an FRER user for life, I've taken blue dye tests before and they always look smudged, blurred, etc., to me anyway. 

    Looking forward to your next update! 
    DH - 34, Me - 32
    Married 7/13
    TTC #1 since 10/13
    BFP 2/4/15, MC twin boys at 18w3d 5/15
    IUI #1 2/25/16

  • @reneeannemm checking up on this was my first coherent thought today. We are all hoping for you and here for you
  • edited May 2016
    I think bad. Negative on the dollarstore pink dye and more spotting. I really don't know what is up with the three other dubious blue dye tests, but I can guarantee I'll never make that mistake again. My cheapies have never betrayed me like this. It feels better to have a clear negative than to keep wondering. I already broke down and sobbed myself to sleep, so I hope today I can just move on.

    I wonder if my doctor can start running some preliminary tests - I can't get the words of the midwife out of my head "if you have trouble conceiving it's probably your fibroid".  No one else I've seen since then seemed concerned. She totally abandoned me and then planted that awful seed in my head at the worst moment in my life. 

    Thanks again. FX for everyone still in this! *orders 100 cheapie internet tests for next round*

    edit: At least I can take comfort in the fact that almost everyone on the pee stick site also thought it was probably positive.
    Renee, 34 + Devon, 29 married 08/13 <3
    TTC  09/15
    *TW Loss mentioned*
    BFP 12/15/15 EDD: 08/26/16
    MMC discovered 1/25/16 at 9 +3
    TTCAL 3/2016
    Acupuncture 11/16
    Dx December 2016: unexplained 
    January 2017: 50 mg Clomid + TI =
    BFP #2 01/30/17  Please be a sticky baby!
    EDD: 10/15/17  Measuring ahead! 10/12/17 
    Ambrose born on his due date!

  • Oh and @Taggarab and @mandi135 enjoy your workouts! I'm heading on a two mile walk right now, I'm not much of a runner but told myself I'd try to ease myself into it this summer. Maybe sign up for a fall race for motivation
    DH - 34, Me - 32
    Married 7/13
    TTC #1 since 10/13
    BFP 2/4/15, MC twin boys at 18w3d 5/15
    IUI #1 2/25/16

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